Nedwin Posted August 30, 2015 Report Share Posted August 30, 2015 I'm deployed here as the only female, and the lowest ranking, and I'm tired of all the attitude they give me for asking a question or having ideas. It's really starting to wear me down and I still have a few more months to go. I'm noticing myself getting more agitated more quickly and I can't have that. I just need some encouragement. How can I avoid being treated like a second-class citizen? Is second-class citizen an offensive term? I do not know. Do you other ladies get treated this way at your place of male-dominated employment? I'd start up yoga again, but I honestly have never figured out how to clear my mind or tune in to my body. Help, please! 1 Quote Level 2 Furyan Ranger You keep what you kill STR 3 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 2 | WIS 2 | CHA 36.1 | 6.2 | Duolingo | Daily | Fitocracy Spoiler Captain Hammer: Have I seen you at the gym? Billy: [smiles] At the gym! Captain Hammer: [to himself] I don't go to the gym, I'm just naturally like this... Link to comment
SevenofSeven Posted August 30, 2015 Report Share Posted August 30, 2015 Stand tall and be mentally strong! 1 Quote Wait! What............? Link to comment
Cherry Poppins Posted August 30, 2015 Report Share Posted August 30, 2015 Woah! Take a deep breath, sister! You must have done something right to get where you are now If someone shoots you down for asking questions, that makes them an arsehole. You are trying to learn! Perhaps ask your senior/boss for advice, if it keeps happening? I know I need some feedback, structure and goals if I want to improve my performance. It can be difficult working in a male-dominated environment. My old boss was a man and in some ways it was better than working for a woman...but in other ways, it was worse. I think we communicate differently sometimes, and that makes sharing ideas difficult at times. I like to get to know people a little better, try to figure out what makes them tick, how they like to work. I like to be flexible in my approach to work depending on who I'm working with. Finally, starting your yoga practice again sounds like a wonderful idea. Just start breathing again. Start in shavasana and just breathe. If you concentrate on your breath and try to block out everything else, you will find your mind settles and you will become more centered. Then, depending on what you've done previously, maybe try some flow? In my experience, I always feel really calm and centered and confident after a good yoga session. You can do it!! 3 Quote I aim to misbehave. Battle log Link to comment
Cherry Poppins Posted August 30, 2015 Report Share Posted August 30, 2015 Double post, sorry! Quote I aim to misbehave. Battle log Link to comment
Hardway Posted August 30, 2015 Report Share Posted August 30, 2015 What is your MOS? I only ask because as a vet I was over seas many times and attitudes were bad (this is going back almost 15 years now Desert Shield) but there was still respect in my MOS for female soldiers doing there job. Quote Hardway Level 13 Half Orc ScoutStrength:8 Dexterity:8 Constitution:8 Intelligence:6 Wisdom:6 Charisma:7 Han Solo Challenge 20%20% Batroc Challenge Challenge 25%25% Malak Challenge 4%4% Link to comment
Raincloak Posted August 30, 2015 Report Share Posted August 30, 2015 One does not need to clear one's mind to move one's body (though it often happens by itself when you move!) If it did, soldiers would be toast, because when do soldiers ever have a clear head? Captain frigging America doesn't have a clear head. It's a stressful job.You wanna do some yoga, do some. Try to find a time and place when you can concentrate, but really, don't sweat the whole monkey mind thing. You've got a lot on your mind. Fine. Most people do. A meditation teacher I like very much said to think of it as your hard drive defragmenting. You look still (the screen is blank), but under the CPU cover, lots is going on. Totally normal.I'm really sorry you get ragged for expressing yourself. I've been there and I know it hurts. If it helps to know, it's probably not just cause you're a woman. You also mentioned you're the lowest rank, and nobody pays attention to those. You can stand it a few more months. (The men are probably attacking you to let off THEIR stress. It's nothing personal, you just have the bad luck to be a convenient target. That does not make it okay behavior, of course, but know that it's not your fault.)Maybe one of the vets here has a better suggestion, but as a civilian all I can suggest is keep doing your job the best you can (nil illegitimo carborundum), maybe find counseling if possible (there must be a confidential number to call), and count the days till you leave. You are worth more than this, but maybe you just aren't going to get the treatment you deserve there. It's the military, they're not known for giving people what they deserve.And please don't stop asking questions. Better to get taunted than not know the answer, and maybe the guys mocking you needed to hear that answer too. 1 Quote Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. Hylian Assassin 5'5", 143 lbs. Half-marathon: 3:02It is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. Link to comment
Nedwin Posted August 30, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 30, 2015 What is your MOS? I only ask because as a vet I was over seas many times and attitudes were bad (this is going back almost 15 years now Desert Shield) but there was still respect in my MOS for female soldiers doing there job. I'm a crew chief. We don't get much respect from our peers. Even just being in the Air Force there's a lot of "she got that because she's a female" rather than "she got that because she worked hard". Quote Level 2 Furyan Ranger You keep what you kill STR 3 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 2 | WIS 2 | CHA 36.1 | 6.2 | Duolingo | Daily | Fitocracy Spoiler Captain Hammer: Have I seen you at the gym? Billy: [smiles] At the gym! Captain Hammer: [to himself] I don't go to the gym, I'm just naturally like this... Link to comment
TMedina Posted August 30, 2015 Report Share Posted August 30, 2015 Water off a duck's back. People who want to criticize will find a way to do so, regardless of what you do. So head up, shoulders back, and remember: deployments are temporary. If you have access to a gym, this is a great time burn off extra frustration on the weights. 3 Quote Imaginary Human Male Dilettante Trainer, Level 1 Spoiler How to: Add the status bar to my signature How to: Spruce up your profile Where to start: General Fitness questions How to: Declutter your life, a minimalism thread How to: Slay your budgeting woes (or at least, start the quest) Link to comment
insanity Posted August 30, 2015 Report Share Posted August 30, 2015 I'm a crew chief. We don't get much respect from our peers. Even just being in the Air Force there's a lot of "she got that because she's a female" rather than "she got that because she worked hard".To be bluntly honest, this isn't gonna change until things like quotas are removed. That said, all you can do is work hard, and the people that matter will notice. The others... just gotta ignore them. Also... just take it one day at a time. Find something you can use to get your mind off work for a bit, and do that when you can. Before you know it, you'll be back stateside. 1 Quote "Insanity - you make my world a better place man, you really do! That shit is awesome! :D" - Guzzi- My first challenge My battle Log: Insanity: Warrior Monk Honorary Ranger dubbed by DarK_RaideR, 1000 Pound club (875 of 1000) Link to comment
jfreaksho Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 Do the yoga anyways. The physical activity can change the state of your mind, so you don't have to worry about getting your mind right first. Attitude can be controlled through action. Quote Searching the world for a cure for my wanderlust. Link to comment
Hector Not-of Troy Posted September 11, 2015 Report Share Posted September 11, 2015 I hope things have gotten at least a little better for you. I'm afraid I don't have any advice on how to avoid the poor treatment. I wish I did. But in a similar vein to yoga, you might want to look into the breath-work done in Systema. I've never been more relaxed than when I was training Systema. Quote Hector Not-of TroyLvl 2 Monk(with Druid and Assassin aspirations)Str 2 | Dex 2 |Sta 2 | Con 4 | Wis 4 | Cha 2Current ChallengePrevious Challenges:1 Link to comment
Nedwin Posted September 11, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 11, 2015 I do feel slightly better about work, but my phone was stolen and I can't help but think I didn't do enough to try to get it back in a timely fashion. I was so focused on getting it erased that I didn't pursue the only people who could have been responsible. I'm going to try the aqua massager thing since it's free *I think* and see if that at least helps my body, which in turn would help my mind, since the bed in billeting is really taking a toll and there is no chiro on base. 2 Quote Level 2 Furyan Ranger You keep what you kill STR 3 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 2 | WIS 2 | CHA 36.1 | 6.2 | Duolingo | Daily | Fitocracy Spoiler Captain Hammer: Have I seen you at the gym? Billy: [smiles] At the gym! Captain Hammer: [to himself] I don't go to the gym, I'm just naturally like this... Link to comment
PinkNinja Posted September 12, 2015 Report Share Posted September 12, 2015 I'm in a male dominated place of employment, but I'm either on equal footing with or more highly trained than most of the guys. I rarely encounter that kind of crap, but it does happen on occasion. Usually though, it's someone at a different location so I only have to deal with it temporarily. Plus, the guys that aren't like that will often activley shut down otthers. I actually heard this exchange between two guys. "Dude, they picked her? Women shouldn't even be in the uniform, let alone in charge." "I don't see why not. They let a gorilla like you carry a gun."I can totally see why it would get annoying. I'd be more than agitated, so I think you're doing pretty well. I agree with others that you should try working out or do the yoga anyway. 2 Quote Looking to get lighter, stronger, & faster Current Challenge Previous Challenge, Dec. Challenge My Epic Quest & NF Character Journey of the PinkNinja < battle log Link to comment
insanity Posted September 15, 2015 Report Share Posted September 15, 2015 I do feel slightly better about work, but my phone was stolen and I can't help but think I didn't do enough to try to get it back in a timely fashion. I was so focused on getting it erased that I didn't pursue the only people who could have been responsible. I'm going to try the aqua massager thing since it's free *I think* and see if that at least helps my body, which in turn would help my mind, since the bed in billeting is really taking a toll and there is no chiro on base.What about hanging upside down? That would allow your back and limbs to decompress... might help out some. Just take it slow if you do... 1 Quote "Insanity - you make my world a better place man, you really do! That shit is awesome! :D" - Guzzi- My first challenge My battle Log: Insanity: Warrior Monk Honorary Ranger dubbed by DarK_RaideR, 1000 Pound club (875 of 1000) Link to comment
Nedwin Posted September 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2015 I'm not even sure where I'd do that at! The aqua massager worked pretty well, so I'll try that a few more times and see if it's really helping or if it was just a placebo Quote Level 2 Furyan Ranger You keep what you kill STR 3 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 2 | WIS 2 | CHA 36.1 | 6.2 | Duolingo | Daily | Fitocracy Spoiler Captain Hammer: Have I seen you at the gym? Billy: [smiles] At the gym! Captain Hammer: [to himself] I don't go to the gym, I'm just naturally like this... Link to comment
jfreaksho Posted September 15, 2015 Report Share Posted September 15, 2015 I'm not even sure where I'd do that at! The aqua massager worked pretty well, so I'll try that a few more times and see if it's really helping or if it was just a placeboIf there is a straight pullup bar, you can hook your knees over it and hang a bit. Two-handed hangs are also good. Quote Searching the world for a cure for my wanderlust. Link to comment
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