How do you do it?

[BLACKBOARD MONITOR]

I've been lurking on NF for ages, enjoying the posts and checking in on the forums. I haven't posted properly in about 18 months, and I'd managed to maintain largely productive habits.

And then...

A 9lb seismic shift in life came along and tore life a new one! She's 7 months old now, and utterly fantastic. I love everything about being daddy, and I'm lucky enough to get to spend several hours a day at least with her and mummy.

The downside is that I seem to have somehow lost time and energy for keeping me even vaguely in shape.

What do you find works for you? What do you prioritise? Or is a free-for-all make-the-most-of-random-opportunities approach better?

[Kes]

I found that, without a specific schedule, being able to work out at all goes to pot with an infant or toddler in the house.  My best advice is to trade off with your partner for daily "off time" for each of you, and then prioritize working out in that time. If you don't commit to working out at a set time, any time off will be used to crash and stare blankly at all of the unwashed laundry and moldering dishes. Try not to get too burnt out, and you'll adjust in time.

 

Though in all honesty, a lot of people seem to disappear into a hole until their children are closer to school-aged. That's near to what I did. Unless the kids were in tow, I rarely saw anybody or did anything of significance beyond working for about 6 years.

 

Don't beat yourself up over it. I promise that nobody else's life is better planned or coordinated, some folks are just better at faking it than others. Kids are a challenge.

[Sloth the Enduring]

Congratulations.

TBH I didn't until the youngest was 18 months old or so. The sleep debt was just too great to function outside of work and parenting. I put on 30# and got weak and slow.

Since then, the general plan is to go to bed right after the kids so that I can get up stupid early to have time to train.

[QuirkyDM]

I'm in the boat of "waited until they were older". But I don't think that's necessarily the only course.

 

The goal, at least for now, is just to get some exercise in. That will be an accomplishment by itself. Don't set goals of faster runs or bigger weights. See if you can squeeze in a workout once a week, just to do it. Maybe it's something you can do at lunch or after work before you get home. Or take just one hour on your weekend. One hour a week isn't an insurmountable task despite all the cuteness waiting for you instead. As that feels under control, you can look at adding another workout. Pick the exercise you want to do the most, whether it's running, heavy weights, HIIT, etc. and focus on that.

 

For me, exercise isn't something that keeps me from fitting in all the tasks in my life. It's the thing I need to keep my body and mind sharp enough to be able to properly focus on the rest of my life. When you look at it that way, the hour you spend exercising will give you more time in the rest of your life, not less.

[BLACKBOARD MONITOR]

I've tried getting to bed earlier to get up earlier, and it was brilliant! Then the little one started teething and sleep has become somehow more valuable.

I like your idea Kes, of trading free time. We do that a bit already, the Mrs is in charge during the day whilst I'm at school, then I take over in the evening so she can tutor. Building on that habit would work really well.

Nice to know that for most people it's a bit of a wilderness period in their life as well, thank you all very much for the kind words. I'm guessing you all found that diet went a bit pear-shaped as well?

[MissStarshine]

Hey there,

 

My daughter is 6 now so we're in a different stage, but I'll answer anyway

I find that any routine I have changes at least every 6 months. Her schedule changes, my schedule changes, my babysitter's schedule changes, you get the picture. We have this wonderful routine that works for everyone and then BOOM! game over.

I still try to have a long-ish workout 3 times a week. Sometime it works sometimes it doesn't but I'm trying to let that be for now.

 

However, one thing I do have control over is my/our diet. And seeing as my daughter is still young, I'm trying to help her learn healthy food choices, it can only help right?

The important part for me is planning meals - having the stuff ready and also using easier recipes. Often I just don't have the time or energy to spend in the kitchen. Lots of fruits and veggies that are easy to grab, I usually have a salad in the fridge and freezing dinners. I try (emphasis on try) To cook 3 times a week, make double and freeze the extra. That way I can just defrost a meal when I'm tired or don't have a lot of time. There are lots of great recipe's online.

 

Do you have goals for your diet? And if so, where do you find it going wrong?

[BLACKBOARD MONITOR]

However, one thing I do have control over is my/our diet. And seeing as my daughter is still young, I'm trying to help her learn healthy food choices, it can only help right?

The important part for me is planning meals - having the stuff ready and also using easier recipes. Often I just don't have the time or energy to spend in the kitchen. Lots of fruits and veggies that are easy to grab, I usually have a salad in the fridge and freezing dinners. I try (emphasis on try) To cook 3 times a week, make double and freeze the extra. That way I can just defrost a meal when I'm tired or don't have a lot of time. There are lots of great recipe's online.

 

Do you have goals for your diet? And if so, where do you find it going wrong?

I will have goals for my diet... Oops.

At the moment, I work during the day, then Mrs hands baby over to my dad for a couple of hours until I'm back so she can do her tutoring - I have the baby until about 7 or later and we eventually eat something. At the moment we're not doing great on organisation or planning, so it's left to our will power... which is more like will weakness I do at least get to eat bacon, sausage and egg with mushrooms in school for 'breakfast' during morning break. Shame the lunches are horrendous for saying they claim to be 'healthy'.

I'm really keen to use the Christmas holidays as a chance to get started on planning and getting into some decent habits.

[BLACKBOARD MONITOR]

Hey there,

 

My daughter is 6 now so we're in a different stage, but I'll answer anyway

I find that any routine I have changes at least every 6 months. Her schedule changes, my schedule changes, my babysitter's schedule changes, you get the picture. We have this wonderful routine that works for everyone and then BOOM! game over.

I still try to have a long-ish workout 3 times a week. Sometime it works sometimes it doesn't but I'm trying to let that be for now.

 

However, one thing I do have control over is my/our diet. And seeing as my daughter is still young, I'm trying to help her learn healthy food choices, it can only help right?

The important part for me is planning meals - having the stuff ready and also using easier recipes. Often I just don't have the time or energy to spend in the kitchen. Lots of fruits and veggies that are easy to grab, I usually have a salad in the fridge and freezing dinners. I try (emphasis on try) To cook 3 times a week, make double and freeze the extra. That way I can just defrost a meal when I'm tired or don't have a lot of time. There are lots of great recipe's online.

 

Do you have goals for your diet? And if so, where do you find it going wrong?

I should add that you're absolutely right, diet is the key thing to focus on for now - probably the only thing I can actually focus on in any reliable way. Do you have any recipe recommendations for freezing?

[MissStarshine]

I thought I had followed this thread, but I didn't get any notifications... Wierd!

Anyway, for your goals: keep them super small. Take one small step at a time, if you can do it easily for a week, add another step or make it harder. But if you have any real trouble sticking to it, don't add anything and try it for another week.

Things like: drink one less soda a day. Or drink green tea instead of coffe with Cream and sugar.

For eating: have fruit you like and grab that instead of something processed once a day. And the one that is most important for me: NEVER go groceryshopping when hungry.

I don't really know how far you are with healthy eating but these things really helped me out.

As for freezing dinners: Google it, seriously, there are sooo many. Some of my favorites:

- Chili

- soups

- curry

- eggplant/zuchini lasagne (or normal lasagne)

-pieces of chicken (for salads etc.)

Hope this helps!

[Kes]

Re: grocery shopping....

 

If you have grocery delivery in your area, it can be incredibly helpful, especially if people are sick or otherwise under the weather.  One major downside (or upside?) is that you have to plan things out in advance, as you can't usually get delivery within 24 hours of having placed the order.

[BLACKBOARD MONITOR]

In all honesty it would be having groceries in the house to actually cook with. We easily fall into the 'let's buy something' trap. Otherwise, if we cook for ourselves it's usually pretty healthy. My partner is virtually pescatarian so it's hard to do that unhealthily.

I can imagine use prepping a lot of soup, especially as we've just bought a kick-ass blender. I hadn't thought of freezing pre-cooked bits of meat though, that could be a pretty good plan

[BLACKBOARD MONITOR]

In all honesty it would be having groceries in the house to actually cook with. We easily fall into the 'let's buy something' trap. Otherwise, if we cook for ourselves it's usually pretty healthy. My partner is virtually pescatarian so it's hard to do that unhealthily.

I can imagine use prepping a lot of soup, especially as we've just bought a kick-ass blender. I hadn't thought of freezing pre-cooked bits of meat though, that could be a pretty good plan

[MissStarshine]

Re: grocery shopping....

If you have grocery delivery in your area, it can be incredibly helpful, especially if people are sick or otherwise under the weather. One major downside (or upside?) is that you have to plan things out in advance, as you can't usually get delivery within 24 hours of having placed the order.

That does sound like a good idea. That way, no temptation and way less time consuming..

But good luck!

[BLACKBOARD MONITOR]

Thanks for the luck

I'd better figure out my password for our local supermarket website!

[Hammlin]

Our small one is almost 4 months and we do two things- we trade the time off but we also sought out a gym that has daycare. It's $1 for an hour and we never even use the whole hour. He gets to play and interact with others and we get to lift together.

Good luck!

[Jayniana Jones]

Aah, this transports me back to those lovely days of sleep deprivation, noise, and complete exhaustion. My "babies" are now 13 and 14. In their younger days, my hubby was just starting to get into crossfit and I was the random workout when I had time person. We traded off when we could, but I was the at work-at-home parent and sometimes my hubby wouldn't get home from his job until super late.

 

One of the things I discovered along the way that worked really well, besides some of the suggestions listed above, was doing my workouts with the audience of one (sometimes two) little ones. I'd find ways to involve them. Piggyback rides were met with lots of cheers when I had to do short sprints. Tossing them in the air (not high). Squatting while holding them. Making goofy faces as I lifted weights to get them to laugh. Many exercises were modified where I became playground equipment. The hardest part was doing workouts outside when people could see me being ridiculous with my kids. When they were "toddler" age and up, we were frequently spotted at rest stops playing tag with them and doing a few rounds of bodyweight exercises as we traveled.

 

Other times I'd give them an "important task" building with blocks, coloring, digging, whatever they liked to do in a room where they couldn't leave and then I'd do most of my workout by them.

 

As for everyday living, we received an electric pressure cooker for Christmas and I'm wondering how I survived without it. I utilized a slow cooker in the past, but to me most slow cooker recipes taste the same when they are done. The electric pressure cooker is handy because some recipes you throw your ingredients in, set the pressure to Hi or Lo, walk away and come back when it beeps (or not - it has a keep warm function that will keep something warm for up to 8 hours). I haven't kept things warm for 8 hours, but I have done it for an hour. My husband and I frequently stare at the thing in wonder because it cooks many things in half the time that it would take with regular cooking.

 

Enjoy every moment with them. Soon they will be teens and you'll wonder where the time went. I know it's said alot, but I didn't really understand how true it is until they're quickly approaching leaving home.

[BLACKBOARD MONITOR]

Our small one is almost 4 months and we do two things- we trade the time off but we also sought out a gym that has daycare. It's $1 for an hour and we never even use the whole hour. He gets to play and interact with others and we get to lift together.

Good luck!

Weirdly the nearest gym with daycare is over an hour away. It's not caught on around where I live.

[Waldo]

Kiddo was actually one of the best things for starting to get in shape, because kiddo brought with him a consistent schedule.

 

Every night, 7 days a week, we put the kid to bed at 7:30.  This started at oh about 3-4 months and never stopped.  Sure at first he woke up a couple times at night, but 7:45-10 became a reliable baby-kid free time.

 

Our new kiddo is up at that time, but pretty soon that last nap will give way to a longer awake time, and bedtime will move forward from 9:00.

 

We've always been late eaters, so our schedule has been:

7:30 - Kiddo bed time

7:45-8:00 - Start Workout

9:30-9:45 - Shower

10:00 - Make and eat dinner

12:00-1:00 - Go to bed

 

Wife and I both work out 7 days a week right after kiddo goes to bed.  Its what we do at that time.  New kiddo is up now, watching us in his bouncer, but it won't be long until he's in bed by then too.

[BLACKBOARD MONITOR]

Kiddo was actually one of the best things for starting to get in shape, because kiddo brought with him a consistent schedule.

 

Every night, 7 days a week, we put the kid to bed at 7:30.  This started at oh about 3-4 months and never stopped.  Sure at first he woke up a couple times at night, but 7:45-10 became a reliable baby-kid free time.

 

Our new kiddo is up at that time, but pretty soon that last nap will give way to a longer awake time, and bedtime will move forward from 9:00.

 

We've always been late eaters, so our schedule has been:

7:30 - Kiddo bed time

7:45-8:00 - Start Workout

9:30-9:45 - Shower

10:00 - Make and eat dinner

12:00-1:00 - Go to bed

 

Wife and I both work out 7 days a week right after kiddo goes to bed.  Its what we do at that time.  New kiddo is up now, watching us in his bouncer, but it won't be long until he's in bed by then too.

I like the sound of using the baby as a spectator. She goes to bed a bit before us, or at the same time, so any evening workout would have to be whilst she's up!

We've had are ally good run of her sleeping about 10 until 8 or 9 recently, and I'm really tempted to use some of the mornings for exercise time - sadly I've been using it to queue for roadworks on my way to school instead this week!

P.s. Waldo I started looking at your blog and found it both informative and entertaining. Your monthly progress pictures were genuinely inspiring, I hope to emulate you (shamelessly copy) in the future.

[Xenophon]

Well, I have been at this for a while and have three kids by now -- ages 7, 4 and 2. And we're not opposed to the idea of a #4 kid (once you've got three, you're basically all-in as far as the parenting lifestyle goes, so yet another one isn't that significant). Furthermore my wife mainly works evenings/nights/weekends so I'm pretty limited when it comes to opportunities to get out of the house. 

 

Now on the other hand I am somewhat privileged in having both access to a decently-equipped basement gym at work (this is where I do most of my training), and some basic equipment at home (have an Olympic barbell and a squat rack in the garage -- no bench though -- and a pullup bar and some kettlebells). My experience is that each new kids causes a complete halt to working out which lasts for maybe a month, and a severely reduced capacity for working out which lasts a lot longer. Even with my privileged position the energy and recovery ability available is close to zilch for a good while, so I typically fall back on a minimalist lifting scheme just to keep the body moving. 

[HedgeMage]

Just a note: don't assume that working out is something you can only do when not on daddy duty.

 

My then-husband deployed 6 weeks after our son was born, and wasn't around much between return home and our divorce.  As a mostly-single mom, I couldn't just leave the kiddo and go work out.  So, I got a good kid-carrier and took the munchkin on hikes and SAR callouts.  I swam with him (backstroke with him lying on my chest, or other strokes towing him in a "baby boat").  I'd put him in a baby swing or playpen when we did martial arts in my front yard or at the training field, and whomever was sitting out would give him some attention for a minute or two.

 

As my son grew up, he grew to love the things I do.  We adventure together whenever we can.  He's studied karate alongside me, trained for SAR, loves hiking and backpacking, and recently took up strength training.  He's not my clone -- he's not big on swimming, for example -- but he's gotten to try a lot more than most 13-year-old kids, and I got to keep on adventuring the whole time.

 

The rough years were around ages 4-6, when he was old enough to want to be in the thick of everything, but not always mature enough to behave in a way that was constructive.  We got through it.  Starting him in a martial arts program when he was 5 really helped, as he started to get the idea of how time and practice and paying attention pay off.  The biggest thing was to always be on my game, don't miss a problem long enough for it to go from minor to major, and have more strategies in my bag than "yell/punish/give in".

 

When in doubt...find ways to work out with your little one.  It will benefit her in the long run!

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

In my case, I barely work out for a year, lose strength gains, and gain weight. I was eventually able to rededicate once sleep became sustained, and all the things that come with an infant got easier or went away as she got older.

[Trixie Falsae]

I started working out as a single mom with three kids two and under. I could lift weights when the kids were up. They would play around me. If something dire came up I could always stop in the middle of the set and come back after I took care whatever. It isn't the most efficient but I got my workouts in. I would wait until kids were in bed for the night on cardio days. Some days I would just play wii fit and let the kids have their turns playing games so everyone was entertained. Even now when I do pilates or dancing my kids will join in for a bit. Fitness is a family thing around here so I don't mind working out when they are up and watching.