Endless respawner here.

[Sejura]

I have been respawning for 2 years. I would start running two-three times a week and then stop. 

I'm a 25 year old woman at 5'4" and about 133 lbs. Skinny fat.

Two years ago, I paid for and join NF academy to have some sort of guidance in becoming healthier and more active. All my life, the things I had been talented in were solitary and stationary activities like drawing, painting, reading or writing so I was never very active.  I am a healthier eater since joining but I never really ate terribly to begin with. I didn't drink soda or juice and I havent eaten fast food since highschool. I enjoy steamed veggies. 

I joined NF, started the body weight exercises and exercised every other day with the intention of becoming less fragile and to increase flexibility and strength in my back. At the time,  I just got out of college and didnt have a full time job yet, so it was easy. Within 3-4 weeks,  I lost about 5 lbs.  

Then like always, I lost motivation because I absolutely hate it. I hate push ups, I hate feeling exhausted. I hate the entire 45 mins im spending on it. Stretching after feels great and I'm working on flexibility so the entire time I'm working out, im waiting for it to be over so I can stretch. 

About 2 months ago, I respawned and told myself that if I push too hard and rely entirely on motivation, I'll never make turn this into a habit. I'll hate it so much again that I'll stop. So I told myself a minimum of twice a week I would go and do the same body weight exercises.  After 4 weeks, buy yourself $100 worth of books or something you like. Twice a week is easier to keep than every other day.

I got to the 4 weeks point but my parrot got hurt and that $100 had to go into vet bills. 

Then on week 5 I had a terrible period where for the entire week, I was in so much pain, bloated, physically tired, that I could barely do anything. I went to the gym once that week. As an example,  if I normally do three full bridges,  holding for about 10 seconds each, then that time I could barely push myself into the second bridge and I couldn't hold it and collapsed.

And that destroyed me. Once I fall off the wagon, I can't get back on. For the last 3 weeks, I have been going once a week and do a half assed work out like running and then 30 mins of yoga... or yesterday I just walked for 2.50 miles...

I want to respawn... but I'm starting to lack the motivation to start again. I dont even have that anymore... and twice a week wasn't even enough to get any results other than my back hurting less. 

I don't know what to do anymore.

[Evicious]

First of all:

And secondly, you're at one of the most awesome moments in your journey right now. I know it doesn't feel like it, but it's true! <---Did you click on it? Did you read? Ok, good: let's talk about it.

 

1) Separate yourself from the Old You.

• Get a piece of paper and make a list of all the times and reasons you've failed before. Here, I'll help you get you started:
  • running two-three times a week and then stopping
  • hate push ups
  • hate feeling exhausted
  • hate the entire 45 minutes I'm spending on it

Notice anything in particular about those things? You hated all of them! You hated the exercises you were doing, you hated the feeling you had after doing them, and you hated the amount of time they took up in your life. No wonder you have no motivation - if doing things you hate on a regular basis is the only way to get healthy, then it's pretty hard to make it a priority. Not when you're young and there's so many other things you could be doing instead!

 

Fortunately, that is not the only way to get healthy.

 

You don't have to spend 45 minutes a day exercising (and especially not when you're first getting started). You also don't have to do push ups, or run. Instead of doing bodyweight exercises, what about rock climbing? Instead of running, why not try biking? You enjoyed stretching, but you didn't seem to like yoga - so just stretch! It's still great for your body. For that matter, so is just walking! And if you just can't bring yourself to move any more than is absolutely necessary, just stand up from your desk and take a minute to stretch every hour or so. No matter how small of an effort you make (and you're still making an effort, according to your post) it has an effect. Something is always better than nothing. If you need to take a break until you find your motivation again, that's ok: drink lots of water, eat lots of good, healthy food, and go to bed at a decent hour in the meantime. Keep your eyes and ears open for your inspiration - a Youtube video of bellydancing; that twinge of, "Wish I could do that!" when a friend brags about their fitness accomplishment; a Pinterest motivational pin that makes you feel like doing... something. And when it happens:

 

2) Capitalize on the momentum.

• Look up "how to shimmy/do a bellyroll/sword dance" and try to follow along; laugh at how ridiculous it feels, then Google bellydance costumes.
• Ask your friend about their fitness routine; write it down and scratch off the bits you don't like, then scribble in ideas for what to do instead; make a gym date.
• Swipe that motivational pin for your own board; click through the other pins attached to it, or the ones you pinned before it; create a new board of all the things you want to do in life - go surfing, or skydiving, or horseback riding; enter a bikini contest, star in a fashion shoot in the Florida Keys; travel to Paris/Taipei/the Standing Stones; win a kite fighting championship...

 

3) Fail differently.

Whatever you choose to do, remember the basics - S.M.A.R.T. goals, discipline over motivation, putting as many things on autopilot as possible - and know that if you fail at this, all you have to do figure out why and try again. Yes, the failure may sting a bit - but it won't last. More importantly, you'll have another window in which to evaluate the progress you made this time vs. the progress you made last time, and that will give you a much clearer picture about how to succeed in the future.

 

[Pavowski]

18 hours ago, Sejura said:

Then like always, I lost motivation because I absolutely hate it. I hate push ups, I hate feeling exhausted. I hate the entire 45 mins im spending on it. Stretching after feels great and I'm working on flexibility so the entire time I'm working out, im waiting for it to be over so I can stretch. 

 

There's your problem.

If you hate the exercise you're doing, you're never going to want to do it.

And if you don't want to do it, you will never find a way to do it when things aren't 100%.

And if you can't do it when things aren't 100%, then you're going to fall right off the wagon ... which seems like a thing you're familiar with! (Don't worry, everybody has that story. Not just in exercise, but especially in exercise. For me, it's weightlifting. Ugh. Bores me to tears. Gave it up years ago.)

 

So you have to pan out, widen the lens, consider some things for fitness that you maybe didn't consider before. You have to find some sort of exercise that you enjoy. For me, it just so happens to be running -- I'm at the point these days where I don't feel right if I don't run at least a few miles every other day. But if running isn't your thing and you want that steady state cardio, well, there's biking, walking, rowing ... If you want strength, but hate the basic stuff (push-ups etc), well, maybe try weight lifting, or look into some gymnastic exercises, or maybe something like rock-climbing.

 

Finally, it sounds like you really like the stretching aspect, so -- forgive me for being obvious, and I know you're already doing some -- but why not make yoga a focus of your fitness? There are strength-focused yoga programs out there (I think -- I'm not a yoga guy), and you certainly won't run out of ways to test your flexibility in that arena.

 

One last thing. It sounds like you're going this thing alone. That can work for some, but having a support system will help tremendously when you find yourself up against the wall and really don't want to do the things. Case in point: I run early, 5 AM most days, but when I was starting out, it was hard as hell to make myself get up. It becomes easier to follow through, though, if you know you've got a friend out there counting on you to show up -- it's something external keeping you honest, rather than just yourself (after all, I feel a lot worse letting somebody else down than I do letting myself down). Now, a real-life human being you can see face-to-face is best, but an online community can work, too -- and NF is great for this! Join a guild, take part in a challenge, follow some like-minded individuals and help keep them honest and they will do the same for you.

 

I'd say good luck, but I don't believe in luck. You can do it.