How to make friends in a new place?

[thescrawnycaveman]

I was hoping maybe some of you folks with a bit for experience than I could help me out.

Short story: Moved to Chicago from the suburbs and don't know how to make friends around here.

Longer version: I'm 20 years old. So my life experience as to how to meet people and make friends has always been through school or work. It has never really been a problem up til now, because now I don't have a job and I'm not in school. I had to move an hour and a half away from all my friends, into northern Chicago, to live with my parents because I was diagnosed, and had a hard time coping, with bipolar disorder. That was a few months ago. I drive to my hometown every other weekend or so, and have kept myself busy studying to be a personal trainer. Lately though not having anyone I really know to hang out with has been getting to me. I know virtually no one in Chicago. On top of that, until I find a job, I feel like I have virtually no means of meeting people (can't even meet people at bars because I'm too young). So my big question is, for those of you who have made major moves, how did you make friends in a new town?

Thanks in advance for any potential help.

[scarletleavy]

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[Rosie]

Check out www.meetup.com you can find groups of people with the same interests as you and go along to meet ups. I havent used it yet but it looks like a great way to meet like minded people!

[starmadepath]

What Rosie said. I use meetup.com a lot. It is a great way to meet people.

I've also used OKCupid.com (which, yeah, is a dating site, but you can occasionally also just find people to be normal friends with), and occasionally craigslist (responding to a post in "strictly platonic," never posting myself).

Also, if you have any particular hobbies, you can find a shop (certainly in Chicago!) that caters to those and find out if there are any groups that organize out of there (for example, if you like running, often running shops will have running groups that meet up and go run together, same thing for various other physical sports, or if you're into say, tabletop roleplaying or other nerdy delights, find the hobby shop and see if there are organized games going on). Public libraries also often have group meetings or public events where you might be able to find some like-minded individuals. Museums can also be a good place if you're good with approaching strangers. Go to a museum by yourself, and if you see another person apparently on their own, strike up a conversation about the exhibit. If things seem to be going well, maybe ask if they'd like to walk around the museum for a bit (might need to be made clear that you're not hitting on the person in question, unless you are - perhaps even if you are).

[Hermione Gainser]

I also recommend the suggestion to find groups/activities via the interwebs. Around here we have an outdoor adventure club that sets up schedules online and you can RSVP.. then y'all just meet up and go kayaking, hiking, biking...whatever! You could also look into adult sports leagues in big local parks... kickball is pretty popular, two hand touch football, etc. Do a google for it in Chi town. I bet in a city that size there are a ton of things like that.

[So Late So Soon]

I wish I could move into Chicago and not be stuck in the suburbs anymore. There is an insane amount of things that you could do in the city to meet people, have you tried going to any concerts? you can usually meet some pretty cool people that way.

[WizardTrip]

As suggested by Rosie....meetup.com

I moved to DC about 4 years ago not knowing anyone. Met a few people through work, but decided to give meetup.com a shot and boom...met tons of people.

Also, look into hobby stuff and leagues. Here in DC, they have leagues for everything. Kickball, Bocce Ball, Volleyball, Softball, Billiards, even Skee Ball (yes...the Chuck-e-Cheese and Dave & Busters style skee ball). I'm in both a kickball league and a volleyball league and have met plenty of people there too.

EDIT: Also, even though you're not 21, there may be some clubs that are 18+ if you're into that kind of thing. Although I'm well over 21 at this point, I hit up clubs in a big way when I moved to DC because I love EDM, and there are plenty of places here that bring in some great DJs!

[AKLulu]

Or you can always rent a friend...

I haven't really figured out how to meet people either. I guess the one friend I have outside of work who I didn't already know is from church, but I don't know how feasible that recommendation is. I'm not very religious myself, but I like feel like part of a community... and I like singing with the choir

[thescrawnycaveman]

Thank you everyone!! I'll be sure to give meetup a try. I can't imagine what people did before the internet.... jeez.

[AKLulu]

Well... before the internet, nobody went anywhere

[LRB]

If you can afford it, take classes. Go to cooking school for a "how to boil water" kind of class. Find a community education place, and look through their catalog - take one or two classes that vaguely interest you.

Basically, find a way to be a part of a group that is together to do something other than be together. After a while, you'll get to know the others in the group. That's when you suggest going out for coffee after class, or whatever.

[Rosie]

Also if you're into climbing, I thoroughly recommend Climbfind.com I made some good friends on there to go climbing with and we've been meeting up on a weekly basis for over a year now and they've become good friends outside of climbing too now

[airen123]

I moved to Nashville 2 years ago, and the friends I've made are through mutual friends from my old hometown. Utilize the people you know who know people that live in Chicago.

[oystergirl]

A ton of great ideas here and the most important thing for you to do is "put yourself out there" and then realize that creating a network of a few good people is far more important than a huge field of casual aquaintances. Wanting friends and wanting to be a good friend go hand in hand, so remember that you get back what you give.

Chicago can be such a great place. Loads to do if you have a ton of money, but really, meet up is a good idea. Also, if you are in any way spiritual, simply google your beliefs and you can find a group of young folks who follow along. My brother actually met his wife in a Lindy Hop Catholic Dance Young Adult Group...

Another thing you can do is try and develop a new hobby. Take up the Ukelele. Get some cook books and start to cook. Check out the programs at your local library (ours offers cooking, yoga, free movies, art exibits, nature walks, all free or low cost...)

Also, if you like pets, in places like New York and Chicago, you can start your own business doing pet sitting or dog walking and make a ton of cash. Even if you only do it for neighbors you can make the money you want to do the fun things that will round out your life.

Best of luck!