What women love about men.

[I-Jo]

yeah- I mean I guess a diamond is a thing. shrug- racing stripes thunder bolts and things too- so I could see a diamond making an appearance. 

[Maris Stella]

manscaping... no one wants to play in the amazon forest?? - baseball diamond?  definitely.  golf greens?  definitely. yeah- little trimming/maintenance make that shit happen. 

 

I was referring specifically to shaving/waxing, and not trimming...but I am totally ok with the amazon forest (literal and figurative), as long as it's kept clean (just the figurative). Not necessarily my preference, but I don't consider it within the realm of my influence. Different strokes for different folks.

 

My personal feeling is that we're mammals and mammals grow hair on their bodies, especially the male ones. I don't see hair as inherently weird and dirty. A waxed dude can still be filthy and gross, and a hairy dude can still be clean and fresh! But I'm also not freaked out by things like back hair, so, grain of salt?

 

Things I love about men (starting with hair since we were on that topic):

- Facial hair. Dear Jesus. It's so cool. Clean-shaven is cool, too, but I totally dig a beard.

- Chest hair is great. 

- Defined upper bodies. A man's strength is really impressive to me, and not just on a "ur hott" level. (Ok, so far the theme is "things that make men different from myself," ha)

- The deliberate gentleness that happens when a man is aware of his strength and is careful with it

- Big strong hands; callouses

- Deep voices

- Subject expertise. In my experience, boys are driven to be subject experts at a really young age, whether it's a trick with a soccer ball or kicking ass at video games, and I really love when this carries over into adulthood. I like when a man can geek out about something, and want to know everything there is to know about it. My man is obsessed with sports, for example. I don't always know what he's talking about, but I love how passionate he is about it.

- Extra props if the subject is something like scotch or cigars or shaving with a straight blade or building things or any scientific subject.

- An un self-conscious sense of humor; the ability to be as free and adventurous as a kid

- TAILORED SUITS

- The occasional hint of cologne. But not every day.

[I-Jo]

 

I was referring specifically to shaving/waxing, and not trimming...but I am totally ok with the amazon forest (literal and figurative), as long as it's kept clean (just the figurative). Different strokes for different folks.

 

My personal feeling is that we're mammals and mammals grow hair on their bodies, especially the male ones. A waxed dude can still be filthy and gross, and a hairy dude can still be clean and fresh! But I'm also not freaked out by things like back hair, so, grain of salt?

 

 

see yeah- no.   Trimming/maintenance.  I don't care how manamally we are- I don't want to be running my fingers through your back hair- that's just icky.  

 

I had an ex who shaved EVERYTHING.  It was good- I liked it.  I don't care for the 12 year old girl look- but on men?  Trim/shave whatever- I feel like waxing would be a little weird- but meh- whatever.   It's all the same to me!

[Maris Stella]

I'd much rather run my hands through soft hair than over acres and acres of stubble ><. Have dated guys who shaved everything, as well -- it wasn't for me.

 

My point was only that neither of us speak for all women. And I didn't want dudes that were reading the thread to think that all women want men a certain way. There's enough of that going around as it is. 

[KingZora]

Speaking as a swimmer where I shaved everything twice a season... I would hate to do that all the time and I know my girlfriends hated it as well.  It is nice that first day, but as a guy I grow hair a lot faster than girls... by the end of night 2 it was like having 5'oclock razor-shadow over literally my entire body.  I couldn't sleep next to anyone without making them miserable.

 

Manscaping is important though... every girl seems to have a different preference for what they like, but in the end I do it because I prefer it to be well maintained... just feels better.

[rx'drobot]

- Subject expertise. In my experience, boys are driven to be subject experts at a really young age, whether it's a trick with a soccer ball or kicking ass at video games, and I really love when this carries over into adulthood. I like when a man can geek out about something, and want to know everything there is to know about it. My man is obsessed with sports, for example. I don't always know what he's talking about, but I love how passionate he is about it.

 

As someone who is very all or nothing with most things in life, this is refreshing to hear.

[I-Jo]

I'd much rather run my hands through soft hair than over acres and acres of stubble ><. Have dated guys who shaved everything, as well -- it wasn't for me.

 

My point was only that neither of us speak for all women. And I didn't want dudes that were reading the thread to think that all women want men a certain way. There's enough of that going around as it is. 

that is TOTALLY valid. 

[Eilyd]

Things I love about men (starting with hair since we were on that topic):

- Facial hair. Dear Jesus. It's so cool. Clean-shaven is cool, too, but I totally dig a beard.

- Chest hair is great. 

- Defined upper bodies. A man's strength is really impressive to me, and not just on a "ur hott" level. (Ok, so far the theme is "things that make men different from myself," ha)

- The deliberate gentleness that happens when a man is aware of his strength and is careful with it

- Big strong hands; callouses

- Deep voices

- Subject expertise. In my experience, boys are driven to be subject experts at a really young age, whether it's a trick with a soccer ball or kicking ass at video games, and I really love when this carries over into adulthood. I like when a man can geek out about something, and want to know everything there is to know about it. My man is obsessed with sports, for example. I don't always know what he's talking about, but I love how passionate he is about it.

- Extra props if the subject is something like scotch or cigars or shaving with a straight blade or building things or any scientific subject.

- An un self-conscious sense of humor; the ability to be as free and adventurous as a kid

- TAILORED SUITS

- The occasional hint of cologne. But not every day.

I second pretty much all of this.

 

Also, men who have witty or nerdy T-shirts, but know when to switch them for polos or suits.

[Sambalina]

I like a man who can rock a good waistcoat. A little quirky, a little classy, totally awesome.

[humanperson832]

Here's something I love about men: at least, in my experience, they have an easier time laughing at themselves and making a bit of a fool of themselves for its own sake. Making silly faces, voices, noises, gestures, etc. (and appreciating the fun in these things) comes much easier to men than to the ladies I've met in the course of my life. I'm not going to even begin to pontificate on why, but I appreciate this quality in men. People, really, but this is a thread about menz. I think this is why I generally get along better, and more quickly, with men than with women. That said, most of the close friendships in my life are with women.

 

Another thing? A man who takes even a little bit of pride in the way they look. As in, you wear clothes that you clearly picked out for yourself with a mind to what looks good, not clothes that your mother picked out for you 10 years ago and you still wear them because they still fit... kind of.

 

Love fragrance on men. Some of my favorites are Gucci Guilty Pour Homme, Bleu de Chanel, and YSL L'Homme. (I used to work at a fragrance counter and I spent a few shifts in the men's area.)

 

I have a thing about men's hands. I don't know how to describe my favorite kinds, but I know good man hands when I see them.

 

A super deep voice? I'm yours forever.

[Guest CyborgNinja]

Just for the sake of my faith in humanity, were things like "a job" and "potential to be a good husband and father" listed here somewhere amidst the sea of talking about clothes and mannerisms and body hair?

[Gruff]

Just for the sake of my faith in humanity, were things like "a job" and "potential to be a good husband and father" listed here somewhere amidst the sea of talking about clothes and mannerisms and body hair?

 

If someone asked you what you like in a woman would you answer employed and cook well. If yes you sir are a very boring human beign.

 

Interesting thread ladies, it's not often a man gets the female perspective. 

[I-Jo]

I have a thing about men's hands. I don't know how to describe my favorite kinds, but I know good man hands when I see them.

copy that- I'm a HUGE hands person- I LURVVVV hands

 

Just for the sake of my faith in humanity, were things like "a job" and "potential to be a good husband and father" listed here somewhere amidst the sea of talking about clothes and mannerisms and body hair?

should have a job anyway.  That's a basic human function of life- has nothing to do with male or female. 

 

Good husband? meh - I don't want to marry all men- but there are things I appreciate about them. 

 

And I could care less about fathering- I'm not a kid person. 

 

This is probably WAY TMI- but guys- learn how to work with your woman's hair.  That shit is sexy as hell and nothing is worse than having to TEACH someone how to play with your hair. It's awful.  

[guest439437484421]

This is probably WAY TMI- but guys- learn how to work with your woman's hair.  That shit is sexy as hell and nothing is worse than having to TEACH someone how to play with your hair. It's awful.  

 

a couple of weeks back, being my odd self, i decided to brush my gf's hair.  she loved it.

[Evicious]

Strength regardless of size - even my fiance' (yes, he finally popped the question!), who is the exact same height as me, is still vastly stronger. There's just something viscerally impressive and exciting about men's innate strength that I've always had a deep appreciation for, no matter how they're physically proportioned.

[maeggieakamegan]

For me, having someone to challenges me is the most important thing, shows interest while also pushing me to better myself.

 

Also (and this may sound odd) always had a thing for necks. Seeing the contour and muscles of a guys neck strangely does it for me.

 

This is probably WAY TMI- but guys- learn how to work with your woman's hair.  That shit is sexy as hell and nothing is worse than having to TEACH someone how to play with your hair. It's awful.  

 

Seriously, this is a problem. With me having really long hair, men just automatically assume that I like my hair played with (which I do) but don't know how to. End up being petted like a dog, gotten to the point that when a guy starts reaching for my hair I dodge it like the plague.

[MariahSnow]

Just for the sake of my faith in humanity, were things like "a job" and "potential to be a good husband and father" listed here somewhere amidst the sea of talking about clothes and mannerisms and body hair?

 

My boyfriend was really offended when I asked him about his job on the first date, specifically how much he makes. I call it "loser insurance" because I'd dated guys who had big plans to do X, Y, and Z, but they just ended up cutting grass at their old high school 3 years later. That being said, I don't care WHAT you do your how MUCH you make, if you love it and it excites you, I'm down.

 

 

 

 

This is probably WAY TMI- but guys- learn how to work with your woman's hair.  That shit is sexy as hell and nothing is worse than having to TEACH someone how to play with your hair. It's awful.  

 

Dear god(s) can someone please start a class on this? I have really curly hair which means it's both really thick and really delicate. My boyfriend literally rubs my head like he's a bully and I end up with a mass of knots and tangles. It's like he's trying to make my hair into one big dreadlock. One time I just had to be like, "... stop".

[I-Jo]

yeah- the petting.

 

do not pet my hair.l

 

Do not pull the ENDS of my hair- that shit fucking hurts.

 

base of the spine up to the back of the crown of your head- that's 9/10 the sweet spot. If you are going to grab hair- that's **USUALLY** where it needs to be done.

 

And yes- there is an art to hair pulling.  Don't just grab that shit and go.

 

UGH seriously. It's a thing- there TOTALLY needs to be class on this. 

[Bekah]

Yeah- I'm not sure.  I'm seriously waffling- I'm not miserable.  He's actually really good to me- if I have to do this... it will be the SECOND time I broke up with someone who was great- just not the right "great" for me. I will have known him for 3 years this June.  It's causing me some anxiety for sure. 

 

I don't know. I'll be devastated to know I broke his heart- but I don't know if he's the guy I want to be with for forever. But I don't want to sidebar the whole thread. LOL- I'm in preliminary deliberations as it were.  

If you have known him for 3 years and there are no huge red flags or mental illness questions in either of you that radically alter behaviors, and you are waffling, do both of you the favor, and cut bait. Seriously.

[Bekah]

This is gold.

Not accusing anyone of anything. I just wonder whether the general problem to relationships is that:

 

People are entering into relationships and valuing them based on what the other party can offer them (e.g. The person I am dating must be able to make me happy, support my lifestyle, be of equal standing in society, be rich, be handsome/beautiful, etc.)

 

As opposed to:

 

People trying  to enter into relationships and value them based on whether the other person is someone whom we are willing to love and sacrifice for (since the purest form of love is arguably selfless love). 

 

Physical attraction and shared interests are obviously necessary since those are the things that make people interested in their other half in the first place. But only at the beginning of a relationship. Beauty and interests fade; conversations run out of topics; shared experiences eventually dim; physically intimacy loses its initial sensation/passion and the dullness of taking the other's presence for granted sets in. Eventually we might not even be able to remember the name and memories of our loved one or hold his/her hand.

 

I doubt that a relationship based on what the other party can offer would last in above circumstances. By adopting that mentality, the relationship devolves into one where we love what the other has to offer and not the other. When the things desired from the other are no longer given or no longer satisfy, our "love" and relationship ends. Of course there are other external factors which cause relationships to become "complicated" and cause breakups but their effect on the relationship depends on the foundation of the relationship itself.

 

On the other hand, a relationship based on the second option would last since we have decided to love the other for the person himself/herself rather than for what they can offer us. Such a love does not make us immune to pain and suffering caused by the failings of the other, but it allows us to (eventually) see past those failings and realise that our love is for the other and not for what the other gives us.

 

 

Disclaimer: Abusive relationships are always a no no. A person who regularly/routinely hurts, threatens to hurt or makes the other feel unsafe is not in a fit state of mind/heart/soul to be in a relationship.

[Bekah]

I agree. I'm not just talking about romantic love, though. I mean, like, "I got your back" love. Simply being generous, being charitable, having someone's back, is what I think of when I think of the word "love," and that can happen between friends, siblings, and even random strangers on the street.

Very true Stephen. I have heard a great all-encompassing definition of love that really works for me.

"Love is when another person's happiness becomes your own"

[humanperson832]

Just for the sake of my faith in humanity, were things like "a job" and "potential to be a good husband and father" listed here somewhere amidst the sea of talking about clothes and mannerisms and body hair?

 

These are a given. For me, anyway.

[I-Jo]

"Love is when another person's happiness becomes your own"

yeah no.

 

you gotta be content on your own.  that's been part of the issue with mine- I'm his whole world- I'm what makes him happy- and that's not healthy.

[Bekah]

Just for the sake of my faith in humanity, were things like "a job" and "potential to be a good husband and father" listed here somewhere amidst the sea of talking about clothes and mannerisms and body hair?

I think no self respecting woman who wants children would ever date a man without these two as pre-requisites, and even if she doesn't want children, the ability to be a good father is a character trait that passes into many other areas of life and should still be required, in my opinion.

[humanperson832]

I once heard someone say, "You have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say, 'This person in front of me is the best friend I'm ever going to have.'" And it's so true. People who don't love themselves reach and grasp for love all around them, and then, that person leaves. And it's a mess. You have to L-O-V-E yourself so that you don't accept sub-par love from other people as a replacement.