What women love about men.

[Bekah]

You know ... if you change some of the words ... It could sound INCREDIBLY ... well there's a few terms for it

 

"I don't mind them so much, as long as I don't see them"

"Why can't they stay with their OWN kind?"

"They wouldn't be so bad, if they didn't keep having CHILDREN"

This is a very good point...although I admit I get very frustrated by people who are willfully stupid and ignorant, and that is much different than ostracizing someone for something that isn't a choice. Bro's and their female counterparts are choosing a lifestyle, not born within a certain race or ethnic group or with certain inherent human traits....so I see it as different entirely, because its not wrong to dislike a group for their choices, in my opinion. It is wrong to act on that dislike in a way that harms them though. 

[Thrillho]

You know ... if you change some of the words ... It could sound INCREDIBLY ... well there's a few terms for it

 

"I don't mind them so much, as long as I don't see them"

"Why can't they stay with their OWN kind?"

"They wouldn't be so bad, if they didn't keep having CHILDREN"

 

You're describing Americans, right?  Damn Yankees...

[Guzzi]

Bekah, I you darlin. I know exactly what you mean, and I wish I had the words to reply more eloquently, but right now I'm quite tired which makes it even harder for me to express myself than normal. Stupid head injury! I wish I could think clearly again.

I wish I knew you IRL.

[Thrillho]

I wish I knew all y'all.

 

... it wouldn't make much difference.  I'd be in the corner, typing all of my responses into a tablet, so it appears on your screen...  

[insanity]

Bekah, I you darlin. I know exactly what you mean, and I wish I had the words to reply more eloquently, but right now I'm quite tired which makes it even harder for me to express myself than normal. Stupid head injury! I wish I could think clearly again.

I wish I knew you IRL.

 

 

I wish I knew all y'all.

 

... it wouldn't make much difference.  I'd be in the corner, typing all of my responses into a tablet, so it appears on your screen...

 

 

LAN Party at my place... I'll bring the beer...

[Guzzi]

A bit off topic (just a little though) but I found this t-shirt the other day and thought "Yeah, I really ought to get that."

http://www.redbubble.com/people/pictologist/works/43408-im-really-a-flirt-really-i-am-you-have-the-most-beautiful-eyes?body_color=white&p=t-shirt&print_location=front&ref=shop_grid&style=mens

I think it would compliment my others nicely, lol!

[Bekah]

I wish I knew all y'all.

 

... it wouldn't make much difference.  I'd be in the corner, typing all of my responses into a tablet, so it appears on your screen...

hah I have to do this to not have misunderstandings with my husband, bc without fail, one of us will misunderstand something the other says...and non-verbal communication eliminates that most of the time (because its usually my fault ) so I'd be right there with ya   

 

 

Bekah, I you darlin. I know exactly what you mean, and I wish I had the words to reply more eloquently, but right now I'm quite tired which makes it even harder for me to express myself than normal. Stupid head injury! I wish I could think clearly again.

I wish I knew you IRL.

I totally understand, having a head injury since birth (I was 3 months early and my brain hemorrhaged during birth) sooo yeah, I get that *hugs* and I you too!! Eh...there will be vacations...and I am most certainly coming to the UK at some point because J has family in Wiltshire (in England)...soooo it will happen

[Barfly]

Exactly. I'll refer to the famous Craigslist post What Happened to All the Nice Guys?. The fact that it works keeps the behavior from being bred out of existence. And I'm sure most women would claim to not want anything to do with douche nuggets like them, but for some reason there are still good women who are being lied to and hurt and treated badly by guys like these, giving fodder to the misogynistic bro notion that women don't know what they want. And maybe they don't. But maybe they are also attracted, not to the broness of the bro, but to something else, like his passion (for broing), his confidence, his spontaneity, or his aggressiveness; he just happens to be a bro. And usually their friends tell them what a POS the guy is, but they defend him by saying "He's a really sweet guy once you get to know him." or "I'm fine, he didn't even hit me that hard." It's not their fault, really. Love makes us bad decision-makers, and our brain responds to love in the same way it does to cocaine. And Oreos. Jerks are fun and all, just don't act so surprised when they turn out to be jerks.

This. Just... all this.

[Thrillho]

A bit off topic (just a little though) but I found this t-shirt the other day and thought "Yeah, I really ought to get that."

http://www.redbubble.com/people/pictologist/works/43408-im-really-a-flirt-really-i-am-you-have-the-most-beautiful-eyes?body_color=white&p=t-shirt&print_location=front&ref=shop_grid&style=mens

I think it would compliment my others nicely, lol!

 

My wife bought me this one for our anniversary.

 

 

Also, Bekah, I am jealous of you so much there.  I can really only communicate effectively through typing, where I a) don't stutter, and b.) can choose my words carefully before launching them out into the world.  My wife refuses to have any sort of meaningful interaction that way, because... I'm not entirely sure why.  But it's a no-go.  

[Guzzi]

Ha! That's classic. Very cool shirt

Not so good about the communication thingy... It's funny how we're all so different in that respect. I learned over the years not to take any notice of what my husband said in any argument/discussion the first time on any particular subject.

He would just throw out the first thought that came into his head without giving any consideration as to whether it was really how he felt. I realised that this was just part of the Fight or Flight response to dealing with something he was uncomfortable with. He'd just say anything at all in the hopes of bringing the argument to a head, and thereby getting it over with, as quickly as possible.

Once I'd got my head around that it was fine, we just had every argument twice. The first time just really being a "practice run" so that he could go away and think about it for a while and then we could actually discuss it properly in round two once the heat was off.

[Guzzi]

Eh...there will be vacations...and I am most certainly coming to the UK at some point because J has family in Wiltshire (in England)...soooo it will happen

Yay! If you're over here I will do my level best to meet up with you. I promise

[A banana]

Stuttering sucks, keeps me from being more social, almost afriad to talk

[Thrillho]

 

Tyranny Free since 1775*

 

* except for what we bring upon ourselves

 

Don't blame me.  I voted for Kodos.

 

Communication sucks. 

[Barfly]

 

Communication sucks.

Miscommunication more so.

[Bekah]

Stuttering sucks, keeps me from being more social, almost afriad to talk

 

*hugs* I guess this is an inappropriate time to ask you to marry me...a cute guy who doesn't want to talk to me...goddamn fantasy  

 

Communication sucks. 

yup

 

Miscommunication more so.

arent they one and the same? 

[Thrillho]

Barfly, on 17 Apr 2014 - 2:48 PM, said:

Miscommunication more so.

 

 

arent they one and the same? 

 

About four o'clock.

[Bekah]

Barfly, on 17 Apr 2014 - 2:48 PM, said:

 

About four o'clock.

Its always four o'clock somewhere

[humanperson832]

But I will say this: Women are not vending machines that you put niceness into until sex falls out.

 

I wish I could put those Emoji hands that mean PREEEAAAAACH! right here. Because yes.

[Machete]

So, I have issues with "Nice Guy Syndrome", but since part of my current challenge is not being snarky, I think I'm going to hold my tongue. But I will say this: Women are not vending machines that you put niceness into until sex falls out.

However, there is a vast space between the douchbag-bro and the guy with no spine who lusts after his best friend and never makes his feelings known. Luckily, most men fall into this category. :-)

 

Pardon me, miss. I tend to offend a lot of people because of the way I say things, but everything I say usually merits a second reading. I know I probably sound like some Liberal Arts douche from some hipster town saying this, but I actually fancy myself a bit of a feminist (which is why the matriarchs of this thread seem to adore me so much). The first 10 years of my education was in an institution headed by an active member of my country's biggest feminist group, and the influence is definitely there. I was also raised by my mother, who is a very independent and assertive bitch (her words, not mine). But later I also went to a very traditional Catholic school, and I've been fully immersed in macho culture for the past 14 years. So I kind of have a weird mix of traditional and progressive values. Plato believed that ideas are refined through active discussion, and I don't think anyone should hold their tongue for fear of offending anyone. Besides, America. I'm sure there are a lot more people exercising the right to an opinion out there who are less deserving of one.

 

That being said, if you saw my previous posts...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMiyg87UhL4

 

No, I do not condone this sort of behavior. In fact, I encourage females to recognize this type of manipulative behavior, and perhaps even to actively make fun of it, even if I do get caught in the crossfire. (I don't talk to women at the gym, even if they have uncomfortably bad lifting form, because they're there to work out, not socialize. Also, I'm a pussy who cares too much about what people think and am terrified of being seen as another creep trying to hit on her. I noticed and swooned over this girl for a year and a half, and when she finally talked to me and said that she's apparently noticed me all along, I was about to leave the state for good. Always be closing.) I'm not saying that women should give these fedora-wearing boners a chance. I'm saying that claiming to want a "nice guy" is bullshit. Because nice guys are pussies. Nobody wants that. Following their logic, claiming that "women only date jerks" shows that they are at least aware of some correlation in the world, and yet they refuse to do anything about it. They claim to know what "all women are ever attracted to" (douches) and that "nice guys finish last", yet they still choose to remain unattractive (nice guys) and instead complain about the injustice in the world. Verily I have often laughed at weaklings who thought themselves good because they had no claws. (Friedrich Nietzsche)

 

 

If you don't like what's happening with your life, at least try to do something about it. If you find yourself in the middle of the ocean with no hope of ever getting to shore, you keep swimming anyway. Claiming to be looking for a "nice guy" is misleading to a lot of simpler-minded men who may misinterpret this, and this is exactly what breeds these "nice guys" into existence. It's a dissonance that both sides are guilty of.

 

The Nice Guy and the Bro are pretty much both misogynists who see women as sex objects. They just go by different strategies (with different success rates). This sense of entitlement to sex is what makes Bros get after it and Nice Guys complain about not getting it. I personally don't believe that any woman has an obligation to bang any guy. Actually, even prostitutes, usually the independent ones, are allowed to reject men. (Walking in there with pretension, finding out that you can be rejected by a prostitute is probably one of the more devastating rejections a man can go through.) I've always believed in only having sex with someone who wants it at least as much as, if not more than, you do. Consequently, I've never wooed or courted or dated anyone with the intent of convincing her to have sex with me. I've always had a very strange relationship with females.

 

That's what I think.

[Machete]

We would have been indeed. Although back then, I didn't know that I didn't know the things I don't know about other people. I just was blissfully oblivious, and would have been one of those aggressive girls to break you out of your shell...but in a very different way from the typical girl, but I would have still pursued you until like Guzzi said, you showed zero interest in me...but I would have also been rather blunt and asked point blank after a while, so unless you wanted to lie to my face, your interest would have come out sooner or later. I just thought that's how all girls were, because obviously the games confuse me too. and that isn't creepy...unless you are a 15 year old girl who likes the bros.

 

 

 

Yes, that is what "we" mean (meaning me and Guzzi apparently at the least)

and that last bit, well that's the crux of the Aspie problem with NT people....because while Machete is actually rather charming and enigmatic in his way, it is almost assuredly much different in "real life" (I know this because it is for me) because like him, I may seem to appear that way here, but I guarantee, that upon closer inspection...it will appear much less so and I for one, am actually much more weird and freakish, because I "think" (total perception from living life and seeing it with others) that most of you here, exaggerate yourselves in the positive and even the negative to some degree, and the rest of you naturally assume that everyone else is doing the same, while at least I know that I am being unexaggerated, and am just a total weirdo nutjob and that this person in the "real world" is inside my head, and comes out at the most random and mostly exactly wrong moments and pisses everyone off almost daily and makes people angry and sad and frustrated when trying to do exactly the opposite at all times....and that just makes me cranky and not want to talk to anyone, and enough of those "misunderstandings" just makes me a hermit who hides from things that I wont ever understand (people and their body languages) 

 

Haha. I'm a terrible liar. But back then if I was attracted to someone I usually kept my distance from them. I'd have no idea what to do about it anyway. You could say I was ashamed of the fact that I wanted to put my penis inside certain females. (I guess this is why I'm a cheesy romantic who believes in physical chemistry so much.) Otherwise I'd be really friendly to people, I just don't approach. I even gave one female the shirt off my back when she needed it. (Literally, because she was meeting her dad and didn't want him to see her in a skimpy top. He saw the shirt and asked "Since when did you start kickboxing?" Haha. Just a funny story I remembered.)

 

But yeah, I'm pretty much Josh Hartnett from Mozart And The Whale. Kind of adorable and endearing, but really awkward and painful to watch. Haha.

 

Yeah, but "going for it" and not being able to read the signs, REALLY fucks you in the end (in a LOT of ways) because as a girl, you usually don't get rejected if you show interest, especially not by the jerks or the bros, who you never realize are jerks or bros until after the fact because yeah, that whole inability to read body language that screams asshole to everyone else. So yeah, it does suck...and the rejections that you do get, are totally weird and confusing because they hurt too, regardless of if you understand why you were rejected or not.

 

In high school I used to have tick marks on the wall in my room of how many females have rejected me. I stopped counting after 30.

 

Occasionally us terrified, shy and awkward guys will get up the nerve to just "go for it", the way movies, television and even other girls will tell us is ALL THEY REALLY WANT, and it's ALL WE NEED TO DO TO SUCCEED.

 

And, in some cases *cough*not me*cough*totally*cough*nope never*cough* we will get laughed at.  In public.  Then be forced to watch the damsel of our unrequited affections tell all of her friends how HILARIOUS it was. Then endure two more years at that school, with someone I don't even know mentioning it roughly once a month.

 

Fun fact: some guys earn their fear and lack of trust. 

 

Looking back now, with all the experience I have (which consists of exactly one woman, my wife), I can see all the mistakes and misconceptions and stuff that I had, but that is something that a lot of guys WILL NEVER REALIZE until literally DECADES down the line. 

 

One of my buddies is a great example of this. Huge video game and anime nerd, in high school he was so awkward that he ate lunch in the janitor's closet. Some popular girl invited him out on a date to the mall, only to make fun of him with her friends. (A Carrie-type story perhaps?) He eventually lost his virginity to one of the infamous college cherry-poppers, then later picked up a copy of Neil Strauss' Rules of the Game. He started treating women like trash, and he openly admits that it's because they treated him like trash. But he was getting laid more than everyone, especially me and my respectful roommate who was also raised by his mom.

[Guzzi]

^^^^^^ All of that = Yup! You truly are the Adorable One (seriously, I'm going to ask the mods to change your name to that when you're not looking some day)

I wish I knew you IRL too.

[Missmouse]

Machete - I really wasn't talking to you at all. I was responding to the Craigslist Nice Guy article, which basically indicates that if you offer a woman "emotional closeness" (which I call friendship), she is obliged to give you "physical closeness" (sex).

I apologize if you thought I was attributing those thoughts to you. But...nope. You're good. I did think it was interesting that you chose the CL article to back up some of your points though, as it seems to be the complete opposite of your actual opinion. (?)

[insanity]

Machete - I really wasn't talking to you at all. I was responding to the Craigslist Nice Guy article, which basically indicates that if you offer a woman "emotional closeness" (which I call friendship), she is obliged to give you "physical closeness" (sex).

I apologize if you thought I was attributing those thoughts to you. But...nope. You're good. I did think it was interesting that you chose the CL article to back up some of your points though, as it seems to be the complete opposite of your actual opinion. (?)

I see the ad differently, I think it's the combination of he's offering her friendship, and a potential relationship (not JUST sex) that would be based on mutual respect, while she's off screwing other guys, then complaining that there's no good men around.

 

Which ironically enough, most of the guys she would be going for, probably wouldn't stick around if she didn't give them sex.

[Barfly]

I see the ad differently, I think it's the combination of he's offering her friendship, and a potential relationship (not JUST sex) that would be based on mutual respect, while she's off screwing other guys, then complaining that there's no good men around.

 

Which ironically enough, most of the guys she would be going for, probably wouldn't stick around if she didn't give them sex.

Which makes me think of the meme:

"Laughs about blowing off the nice guy, cries about getting fucked and chucked by the asshole."

[Guzzi]

Yeah, I disagree with your interpretation of the article Miss Mouse. It seems to me that he's not complaining so much about not getting the girl in the first place, but about the fact that women all "claim" they want what he believes he's offering, but in actual fact, they don't want that at all, and laugh or scorn those guys who are "nice".

I have loads of male friends. But when I hang out with them, it's as mates. There's non of this pseudo-boyfriend lark going on, because that would be using a guy for my own emotional gratification. That's the kind of behaviour the guy in the article is referring to, and why he feels used.

At least, that's how I read it.