DC's annual respawn

[Guest]

When we last left off, our protagonist was battling fires of various kinds. In the past year, a lot has come to light.  (

 

Some of this may be a little rough for people with medical night mares on their hands right now:

In January I went in for a scar tissue massage and left feeling so sick and flu-like I was couch-bound for the rest of the evening.

Insert montage here. I went to many doctors that told me many useless and hurtful things about the pain above my hip, the not being able to roll over in bed, the scar tissue, etc. Which is to say, I told them what was going on and they wanted to either (1) do more surgery to "look around" or (2) suggest I just get over it and have more children.

Except for one GYN. She listened. She wasn't always right, but she sent me to a few people to try to find and answer. I went to PT, which made me really sick, in spite of have great communication with the women there trying to debug me. I got an MRI. And then I went to an orthopedist in a physiatrist practice. And he figured it out. The diagnosis: Muscle tear. Like someone put a steak knife through my left six-pack muscle about 1.5" above the corner of my c-section incision. Likely happened while resuscitating the small one several hours before our surgery. The trauma to the tissue in that part of my abdomen means that I have healed like a network of silly string scar tissue and adhesions all over the quadrant. My body was healing two major things at the same time and I had no idea. It did it's best. The doc sent me to a very specific one-on-one Pilates practice. He also suggested a few other relatively non-invasive things, like a steroid injection guided by ultrasound to the site of the scar tissue. A far cry in the risk department from " let's do laproscopic surgery and just see what we need to clean up," a practice which has about a 50% chance of adhesion recurrence and repeat surgeries in the literature. No thank you.

 

I've been going to the Pilates practitioners for about 5 weeks. The two women helping me come from a background of chronic pain, repeat surgery, or other injuries themselves, and they are wonderful. They have changed the way I stand. I can sleep on my stomach. This weekend I put on my wall harness and aid ladders and ascended/jugged up to my basement ceiling a few times. (This totally wiped me out for the day and most of the next day.)

 

Other highlights: In spite of the scarring and pain, I've been riding my bike. I rode 84 mi up to the Peak to Peak highway and back to my house. My core survived the first 80. MFH has had a lingering wrist injury that we're finally getting good answers on that has kept him mostly out of climbing. I attempted a big backpacking trip with my mom, but we had cut it short due to the technicality of some of the route not jiving with my mental state around carrying a huge amount of water and guiding her through some risky ledges. We went back 6 months later and did a big section of it as a faster day hike instead and it went much better. I'm a better spotter on tech terrain when I don't have 5.5 gallons of water on my back (long story). I've been bouldering at the gym a bit prior to Pilates. Pilates, while working very well, is exhausting. I'm going to stop in 6 weeks or so and take stock of where I am. I hope to start lifting again - WHICH IS WHY I'm BACK ON HERE! TO SEE ALL YOU PEOPLE!

 

Happy Holidays.

[Elastigirl]

Waving excitely. Good to see you! Wow, sounds like you've been through a lot. Good for you to keep looking for a Dr that would listen. Very glad you finally found one, and now can work on healing.

[KB Girl]

That's insane! So glad you're on the road to recovery ?

How's the little one doing?

 

[Guest]

8 minutes ago, KB Girl said:

That's insane! So glad you're on the road to recovery ?

How's the little one doing?

 

The little one is most excellent, fuzzy-headed, and adorable. (Also terrifyingly fast on his bicycles, strider and otherwise.)

 

45 minutes ago, Elastigirl said:

Waving excitely. Good to see you! Wow, sounds like you've been through a lot. Good for you to keep looking for a Dr that would listen. Very glad you finally found one, and now can work on healing.

 

Yeah, it's depressing how hard it is to get a doctor to listen to you. Early on in this quest, I made the mistake of mentioning how a hidden injury could put me and my partner in an unsafe situation if we attempted another big wall together, I was shamed for my "life choices." By a doctor who then told me not to take PT "too seriously" because I was just going to mess myself up again with another pregnancy and I should wait until I was "done" having children. Same doctor who wouldn't tell me how scarring complications affected future c-sections because in her experience those data didn't influence womens' decisions (which is circular if she won't try give her patients the data.) Now I know that a second pregnancy with a tear through my rectus abdominus would likely have been disastrous, leaving me at risk for more scarring, more surgery, hernias, etc. I am mourning the events that have brought us to this "choice." But it would be worse for me to be unable to fully participate in my first kid's life because of damage from a second pregnancy than to only have one kid. The conversation isn't about doing another big wall, it's about him sitting in my lap on the couch without me being in pain.

[Rookie]

Your doctor experience sounds like a nightmare but I’m so glad someone listened and in the end you figured out the puzzle. 
 

Did I read that right? You walked up your wall? ? you are Spider-Man

 

 Welcome back!

[Guest]

Ah yes. My nerd language: “big wall.”

 

https://www.mountainproject.com/route/105717862/lunar-ecstasy

 

 

[Guest]

So yesterday I hit the bouldering gym with a friend over lunch. This was moderately ill-advised since I'd gotten both my booster and my flu shot the previous afternoon and had a headache. But I've been off my bike commute because Pilates + work have been exhausting. I climbed for 30 min or so, but my headgame is weak and I don't like commiting to the top of a problem. The Pilates has been reworking my nervous system in a major way. Basically changing everything abotu how I stand and move, and re-awakening a lot of core engagement that had gotten sort of frozen in a protective place over the past 2.5 years.  Then I went upstairs to pick up the weights. Changes to my hip rotation meant I wanted to check in with my form, so my workout was light:

 

Back squat:

45 (bar) x 7 or so

65 x 5

85 x 5

I went to do another set at 85 and my lower core and hips said "no thank you" and didn't feel super well located, so I stopped there. Today I have a little workout soreness, but nothing bad.

 

Dealift

135x6

Then spent some time teaching a friend to deadlift with the bar.

(My max off the couch is in the 185-195 lb range, so 135 was a comfy place to start. And the climbing gym doesn't have bumper plates.)

 

I hope as I get used to a new normal, I am more confident bouldering again. At least indoors. Outdoors I will always be a chicken and vote in favor of protecting my ankles.

[Guest]

Played in the basement ceiling for the second time this week. Sunday was the first time I got into my aid ladders in almost 3.5 years. 
 
I’ll try to find a picture

 

[Guest]

 

Here we go. Learning to aid climb March 2018.

[Guest]

Man those pictures are old. That second one was my first day in aid ladders I think. Anyway. That's what some of this is all about.

 

Hit the gym with my friend who' learning to climb. Top roped a few pitches of 5.10 (gym), bouldered a little, then lifted:

 

Back squat

45 x5

85 x5

90 5reps x 3 sets

 

Deadlift

135 5x3

 

OHP

45 5x2 just to see.

 

I'm staying fairly light because ooh boy the little stabilizing muscles around my hips are relearning where my spine is. It's interesting. Tracking my knee stability is super important in my squats right now, and tracking knees unfolding with hips in my deadlift is similarly focusing.

edit: totally forgot I also played with the aid ladders with the toddler this morning. My body has reminded me by being totally wiped out a couple hours after the gym. 

 

 

[Guest]

So this morning everything hurt. Weird core things from all the nervous system changes from Pilates. A little bit of DOMS from squats. Scar tissue pulling on all of it a bit.

The small one is going through potty training and I think it's messing with his sleep. And therefore messing with my sleep. So yeah. What is this sleep I hear so much about?

Between that, the fact that my work schedule is super full right now because we're in environmental test mode, and just, well, everything, I am exhausted in every cell of my body.

 

So of course I talked myself into riding my bike to work today. It actually felt really good in spite of the fact that last week's locker room cleanout meant I had double the clothes with me that I usually have. I'm a little worried about the ride back. The last few times I've commuted, my core hasn't been happy about the end of the day ride home with the messenger bag. Again, blaming the massive change in how my core is behaving from all this Pilates repair work. So in the long run it's good. But tiring.

 

 

[KB Girl]

Hope you feel better by today ? all the hurts everywhere, kinda love it, kinda hate it. 
 

What made you decide to potty train? Just thinking that maybe it’s not worth it when you’re losing sleep over it.

[Guest]

The  potty training isn’t super strict. His friends and neighbors have been learning so we’ve been talking to him about it an encouraging him to use the potty during the day. He’s gotten into it and we switched to training pants. But I think he’s starting to notice more when his diaper is uncomfortable at night and it may be disrupting him. So eventually we’ll get there but it’s a big transition. 
 

Adding to the fun this week: MFH got put in a cast for his wrist injury last Friday. It hurts and makes a lot of things difficult, so I’m going to try to get my days off workouts in while the small one is napping. Usually I do better going for a bike ride in the morning, so I’m setting up gym dates with a friend of mine for afternoon climbing. Going to hang out with her will get me out the door.

My Pilates instruction is paused for the holidays. Not bike commuting has made all the scars very stiff. So doing my exercises at random moments on the floor is really good but about all I’ve got right now in the healing department.

[Guest]

Well I really dropped off the radar there.

 

Taking calls from folks for Challenge ideas. If you don't suggest anything I'll just end up imagining Aziraphale and Crowley sitting on my shoulders trying to encourage me for the next month, and maybe that won't be so bad. It will be a climbing/lifting hybrid, so I expect silliness from @Rurik Harrgath as well as my usual friends that I do love hearing from on here.

 

The past few weeks have been rough. MFH being in a cast and then brace and basically one-handed coincided with the Marshall Fire (google it) burning my dear friend's house to the ground and Omicron hitting our daycare. So we've had the toddler home to ride out the wave and been working half days for the past almost a month. (I got exposed to COVID, then the following Monday daycare got hit. Next Monday life gets back to its usual schedule.) Staying home with the small one in the morning has had its upsides - we've had a lot of fun running around and going to the hardware store. The hardware store is deserted at 9 am on a weekday and it's a great place to talk about new things! But trying to keep my work brain on track has been a MESS. My Pilates work got diverted too because of COVID, so I missed a month of that. My second appt back was this week. Things really locked up over the holidays/fire/pandemic so that's been painful. I went back to not sleeping without pain for about a week there in spite of my best efforts to keep up with myself.

 

Today I went to the gym. Thank goodness. I committed the cardinal sin of lifting BEFORE climbing, so I only attempted 3 pitches, but the lifting went well. Logging here:

 

Pilates bridges and single leg work

Backsquat 45x5, then  75 5x5

Balance ball dumbbell bench press - 15 lb each hand, 7repsx3 (this felt to easy in terms of weight but the balance ball adds a degree of focus!)

Farmers carries of kettle bells - 53 lb each hand for 3 laps or roughly 54 paces

Deadlift 135x5, 155x5

1 true pull-up on a bar I have to jump to get to

More deadlifts, 175x3

 

Pilates has moved EVERYTHING and made me more aware of asymmetries and bad habits. I kept the squat weight intentionally light to check my form. I meant to keep my deadlifts similarly light, but we know how that all goes. Deadlifts are fun.

 

My grip was hosed from carrying the kettlebells so climbing was abbreviated. I know I'll have a light climbing day with a group on Sunday afternoon though, so that's ok. Tomorrow there will be skiing. (Also someone tell me why I can crosscountry ski 4 or so miles, then snowshoe around like an idiot with 50 lbs of toddler+pack+stuff on my back for another couple miles, but I couldn't get out of bed the other morning without whimpering. wtf.)

[Guest]

Here for inspiration. The book was good. Watching these two have so much fun with their characters was great.

[Rurik Harrgath]

1 hour ago, DaemonCorax said:

 I expect silliness from @Rurik Harrgath as well as my usual friends that I do love hearing from on here.

 

Count me in for that!

 

[Guest]

Mulling over this character thing: 

 

as much as my balance of strength and endurance might lead me there, I have a hard time believing amI am an elf. Or if my character is an elf, she is of the variety that the big magical powers skipped over. 
 

In life, I am a jack of all trades in many respects, including athletically. As I get older I am more accepting that how good I get at something is sometimes limited by moving on to something else because of weather or circumstance.   Much to think about. 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

11 hours ago, DaemonCorax said:

In life, I am a jack of all trades in many respects, including athletically. As I get older I am more accepting that how good I get at something is sometimes limited by moving on to something else because of weather or circumstance.   Much to think about. 

That sounds pretty Rangerly to me. Maybe half-elven Ranger?

[Guest]

Maybe. That would explain a lot.

 

today the weightlifting made itself known. We went skiing. 4x4 road stuff. Loads of fun. I land I got the money pitch of towing the toddler up the first mile. Definitely a workout. I’m wiped but I think my core feels better than it did a couple years ago trying this with a lighter baby. So that’s something.

[Guest]

Sunday log:

 

Took the small one to the climbing gym WITH a climbing harness for the first time. He had a lot of fun trying things out and then just swinging around and running laps per usual. I realize that I have mixed feelings referring to my husband as "MFH" on here, when clearly the Small One is all that is light and wonderful.

 

While I was at the gym I squeezed in a set of squats

75lbs 5x5

 

I later went BACK to the gym with a friend of mine in the afternoon for a monthly queer climbing event. It was only my second time going. I'll talk more about the group later probably but the punch line is: I bouldered a bit, climbed two more routes, and left thinking much less about my to do list for the week and much more about what a nice group of people this is to hang out with. So that helped. My schedule this week is a mess, with Pilates tomorrow and dr's appts for both me and MFH (wrist injury) smattered throughout.

 

I'm mulling over the character choice for building a challenge here. I think @Tanktimus the Encourager is right and half-elf is the way to go. I've moved to much and lived too many places for normal human lifespan, but I am more solid and durable (and desert-oriented) than the average elf. Maybe this is a character to scribble.....

[Guest]

Wednesday update.

 

Monday was a bike commute day. I've been way off on my commuting regularity due to being Pilates-tired, holidays, snow, carrying my stupid laptop back and forth, etc. Monday was a solid non-laptop-carrying commute, with a mildly annoying construction detour to the path system that required rather more ice dodging than I prefer.

 

Tuesday was Pilates.

Spoiler

Also definitely ended up in tears all afternoon about the not-truly-made-I-guess decision to not have another kid.....oof.

 

Today's workout was a brief episode of "shovel the driveway." We have a snow day but I still have a huge amount of work to do.

 

Tomorrow I have an all afternoon dr's apt that I am NOT looking forward to, but then Friday I'm going to play hooky and go cross country skiing with MFH.

 

I've decided my character going forward is going to be a half-elf Hunter (ranger/druid hybrid). I am going to cherry pick aspects of my real life and the little part of me in the back of my head that always wants to go live in my truck in the desert and be a hermit. Nurturing that little part of me while still being true to the people I care most about is an ongoing part of my mental health journey.  The Hunter in this case has lived many places and does not always get to live where she is best suited. She struggles as I do by knowing that being around humans is fundamentally good for her, leading her to do good things in the world and put her skills to best use. Her intense connection with nature sometimes serves as a conflicting and isolating force. Her goals are to move forward with strength and durability while also finding balance, and possibly pick up some assimilation or "stupid human tricks" along the way. Maybe she has an eagle.

 

I have some very longterm athletic goals for myself IRL that exist alongside some possible changes for our family going forward.

1) In the next few years bikerpelli strongly, not "barely surviving". This requires some serious leveling up in my technical mountain biking.

2) This year, redo the desert gravel bike route I did last April, but longer. Targeting 80-100 miles.

3) Deadlift 315 lbs

4) EPIC QUEST: Do another bigwall with MFH

 

Maintenance goals:

1) Sort out stupid muscle spirals on right leg such that knee is happy when trail running

2) Nurture my climbing "lead head"

 

Stupid human tricks:

1) Handstands

 

 

 

[Guest]

Image inspiration for characters. All the faces are courtesy of this funky artist x AI website call Artbreeder:

 

 

 

[Guest]

More challenge planning. Long long ago in a forum far away, I was keeping up with the STR, DEX etc points system in my signature. I think I'm going to reboot them for myself.

 

Baseline levels of old

STR 21

DEX 3

STA 10.5

CON 8.3

WIS 15

CHA 2

 

Restarting my level 1 character. She's weak in the climbing department right now but can carry a heavy load long distances over harsh terrain where the air is thin. She has learned much over the years, so for Level 1 I will be at:

 

STR 10 - this reflects that my strength is not optimized right now for lifting or climbing. Building both of these is one half of my focus the next three months or so. For climbing I need to stay lean, so there will never be a true "bulk" phase. Also, my cycling goals may not leave me with the energy to bulk anyway.

DEX 3 - This reflects a desire to get back grip strength, be a better boulderer, and continue to connect with my body through Pilates and possibly yoga, so I don't lock up as much.

STA 20 - I'm pretty good in this department. I haven't metabolically bonked in a WHILE, including my 84 mi ride this summer.

CON 10 - I'm a durable thing, but I have work I could do with scarring desensitization and getting better sleep, also my mental CON needs work.

WIS 20 - I have learned a lot in my long healing process

CHA 2 - There's work to do here for my grouchy old self.

 

Challenges will have goals that are each worth some pts per activity done towards a goal. So if my goal is to climb 2x a week, that may be worth 1-2 per workout. I will normalize the point system for some standard number of point possible per challenge. Maybe 20 total?

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

Aaaand another update. I have zero experience with drawing on a computer and am lacking in color-applying devices right now. I had some markers but they didn't do what I wanted and my pastels are far too messy for random deployment at work.

 

Here is a 2 min sketch of where my character is going. My big weakness with art is returning to a sketch to actually finish it, so we'll see: (I feel like @Salinger might have some advice on that lol.)

 

[Guest]

Got a workout today between work and a drs appt:

Boulder 20 min

Squats 85 5x5

Shoulder plank extensions on rings

Pilates things

1 true pull-up plus some attempts on high bar

Standing tricep cable pull 20 lbs 8x3

 

It was nice to boulder with a limited amount of time. I didn’t let myself sit and stare at the problems for long, and I didn’t worry to much if I didn’t get something, just tried to climb consistently.

 

Squats felt great. 
 

I’m realizing how much strength COVID has cost me just because we haven’t been willing to take the toddler to the gym as a family much at all, and there have been many periods where even though the climbing gym was open, we felt it was too risky to go. Seeing my body respond to strength training is a little bittersweet in this regard, but it makes me hopeful.