Rocker3722 Posted September 8, 2014 Report Share Posted September 8, 2014 I'm a straight ally, so far just when it comes to voting. So, good luck to all of you in the things that will be discussed here. 2 Quote Lvl. 2 Elf Ranger"Ouch! What, did something happen?" Link to comment
Steppinon D'Arrows Posted September 8, 2014 Report Share Posted September 8, 2014 I'm an ally too. Love is love, right? I don't put labels on myself or anyone else. 4 Quote Calorie Counting/ Nutrition Tracking for a year on MyFitnessPal+Fitbit One (365 days = .27% per day, Day 74): 19.98%19.98% New Year's Resolution - Healthy Weight/BMI for Summer (June 1st, Get to about 130 lbs/22 BMI approx. in 152 days/21 weeks starting from 153 lbs = 4.35% per pound, currently 142): 47.85%47.85% Graduate Culinary School {20% per section: F.O.H. ( A ), Hot Foods ( C ), Garde Manger [Cold Foods], Bakeshop, Test} Passed Certifications: ServSafe, Management 40%40% Fitbit, MyFitnessPalIntro Challenges: 1 2 Reset 3 Link to comment
Hit Posted September 9, 2014 Report Share Posted September 9, 2014 Love is love and even when its not love, it's still totally fine 4 Quote It's the moose on the inside that counts. Link to comment
ColoQ Posted September 9, 2014 Report Share Posted September 9, 2014 and even when its not love, it's still totally fine more than fine.. sexy, even 2 Quote ColoQ || Level: 0 Techno Troll || Assassin ========================= Current Challenge: 0 - V.2 Previous Challenges: , -------------------------------------------------- STR 0 || DEX 0 || STA 0 CON 0 || WIS 0 || CHA 0 -------------------------------------------------- Link to comment
AnnieP (respawned) Posted September 9, 2014 Report Share Posted September 9, 2014 So, I'm friends with this girl at work. I'm ace, I like friends. Except, she's been sending signals lately that she may want to be more than friends. Probably been sending them longer, but I'm kinda dense when it comes to that sort of thing. Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that I need to tell her that I am asexual, and I am freaking out over the prospect. Last time I told anybody anything like that, it did not end well. Okay. I'll be okay. I just figured you all would understand. :/ Sent using Tapatalk Owl Post. Quote AnnieP (respawned) Starting over Newbie (second time's the charm) "Never be satisfied with anything less than absolute perfection! ...said no sane person ever." -- Spark "And my cheese monster will never be satisfied by cheddar, only the cheese of accomplishment." -- Ze Frank, An Invocation for Beginnings(NSFW) Current Challenge: Finding Her Joy Again; Previous Challenge: Here We Go Again Link to comment
Bekah Posted September 9, 2014 Report Share Posted September 9, 2014 I'm glad you will be okay. I hope in her case it goes well 1 Quote Druid Assassin Halfling Druid Level 16, Current Quest: Bekah Returns Spoiler Fitbit Facebook Your life does not get better by chance. It gets better by change. - Jim Rohn Link to comment
Teirin Posted September 9, 2014 Report Share Posted September 9, 2014 Good luck! Hope it goes much better this time. 1 Quote Behave yourself, badly if necessary. Current Challenge Judo - Shodan My Character Link to comment
SevenofSeven Posted September 9, 2014 Report Share Posted September 9, 2014 Being up front and honest is what friends do. You'll be fine, if she freaks out then that is on her. I hope it works out though, good friends are hard to find. 2 Quote Wait! What............? Link to comment
Hit Posted September 9, 2014 Report Share Posted September 9, 2014 You dont have to tell her if you dont want to. Disclosure is a privilege and all that. Can you just say "im not interested / i just want to be friends"? 1 Quote It's the moose on the inside that counts. Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted September 10, 2014 Report Share Posted September 10, 2014 This is amazing and we need more of them! 6 Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
GamingPlenty Posted September 10, 2014 Report Share Posted September 10, 2014 we've had this on buses, posters and billboards in the UK for a few years now. one of the posters is displayed nicely in the back of my work. 7 Quote Level 2 Wood Elf, Adventuring for Ranger statusSTR 4 | DEX 2 | STA 1.75 | CON 1.75 | WIS 2 | CHA 2 71.6%71.6% > 65kg 0%0% 100 days crisp free Link to comment
Ahyar Dreamspark Posted September 11, 2014 Report Share Posted September 11, 2014 So, I'm friends with this girl at work. I'm ace, I like friends. Except, she's been sending signals lately that she may want to be more than friends. Probably been sending them longer, but I'm kinda dense when it comes to that sort of thing.Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that I need to tell her that I am asexual, and I am freaking out over the prospect. Last time I told anybody anything like that, it did not end well.Okay. I'll be okay. I just figured you all would understand. :/Sent using Tapatalk Owl Post. Aaaaaurrgh. This has happened to me several times, and resulted in epic awkwardness every freaking time--and occasionally friendship loss. I hope you manage to let her know that you're not interested in anything beyond good friendship, and that she understands and is accepting of where you stand. Also, please tell me this isn't one of those cases where the interested party is painfully awkward and constantly drops hints that they're interested, but won't actually tell you that they're interested, leaving you with the burden of bringing up the topic :\ Because that's always...interesting. You dont have to tell her if you dont want to. Disclosure is a privilege and all that. Can you just say "im not interested / i just want to be friends"? That too. It's your call, though. I've never had anyone blow up at me because of asexuality, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Is this friend generally good with LGBTQ people/issues? 1 Quote Link to comment
ColoQ Posted September 11, 2014 Report Share Posted September 11, 2014 That too. It's your call, though. I've never had anyone blow up at me because of asexuality, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Is this friend generally good with LGBTQ people/issues?Based off the picture, and profile name of AnnieP, I assumed the OP was female, or presented female. and the good friend making a pass at OP was referred to as a "her." I inferred the friend to be lesbian/bi/pan.So.. ... Maybe?! 1 Quote ColoQ || Level: 0 Techno Troll || Assassin ========================= Current Challenge: 0 - V.2 Previous Challenges: , -------------------------------------------------- STR 0 || DEX 0 || STA 0 CON 0 || WIS 0 || CHA 0 -------------------------------------------------- Link to comment
Ahyar Dreamspark Posted September 11, 2014 Report Share Posted September 11, 2014 Based off the picture, and profile name of AnnieP, I assumed the OP was female, or presented female. and the good friend making a pass at OP was referred to as a "her." I inferred the friend to be lesbian/bi/pan.So.. ... Maybe?! Oh right. I probably shouldn't attempt to reading comprehension past 8 PM 1 Quote Link to comment
AnnieP (respawned) Posted September 11, 2014 Report Share Posted September 11, 2014 Yes, she's a lesbian. And, unfortunately it is just hints, which is why it took me so long to figure it out. *sigh* And then there's this little voice in the back of my head that says What if I'm misreading things? I think I am just going to tell her, and see where the conversation goes from there. I'm mostly having a problem because I haven't actually said the words, "I'm asexual" to anyone before. I think she'll be cool with it, if a bit disappointed. The worst thing that could happen is she tells everyone at work. That would be... awkward. But not the end of the world, I guess. The company I work for has very strict anti-discrimination rules, so no worries there. Not that I have ever heard of discrimination against asexuals, anyway.Sent using Tapatalk Owl Post. Quote AnnieP (respawned) Starting over Newbie (second time's the charm) "Never be satisfied with anything less than absolute perfection! ...said no sane person ever." -- Spark "And my cheese monster will never be satisfied by cheddar, only the cheese of accomplishment." -- Ze Frank, An Invocation for Beginnings(NSFW) Current Challenge: Finding Her Joy Again; Previous Challenge: Here We Go Again Link to comment
Artinum Posted September 11, 2014 Report Share Posted September 11, 2014 Discrimination against asexuals is uncommon, largely because it's difficult to discriminate someone over something they *don't* do. There are doubtless plenty of people at work living lives of unspoken celibacy, and not necessarily by choice. The unspoken assumption may simply be that you haven't found the right person yet. If you're worried she won't take honest rejection well, you could suggest that you're seeing someone else. But if she can't handle you for who you are, that's not a friendship that's going to work well. Personally, I'd take the risk and tell her. 4 Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
Hit Posted September 15, 2014 Report Share Posted September 15, 2014 oooh photo sharing! reminds me of the stickers on my guitar. i like to mix and match my approach. 2 Quote It's the moose on the inside that counts. Link to comment
Vella Posted September 16, 2014 Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 *sidles into thread**waves* Hey, folks. Mind if I join in the conversation? Amateur neutrois mostly-androsexual DFAM here. I kind of had the epiphany about a week and a half ago and I'm still trying to figure everything out, so I was hoping to chill out around here and hopefully I can figure out how to figure stuff out a little faster/more smoothly or something like that. AnnieP - I hope it all goes well for you! As Hitlionsoul said - would you be able to just say "Sorry, not interested" without giving a reason? Though if you'd prefer to go the route of giving the reason, that's cool, too - whatever you feel most comfortable with. Good luck, either way! 2 Quote Previous challenges: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) Link to comment
Hit Posted September 16, 2014 Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 Sup vella welcome to the thread. Never heard the term androsexual - would you mind explaining that? If not im totally googling later Quote It's the moose on the inside that counts. Link to comment
Vella Posted September 16, 2014 Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 Well, if I identify as gender neutral, then the terms 'hetero' or 'homo'sexual kind of aren't very descriptive (or ... does a gender-neutral heterosexual person find themselves attracted to variable genderqueer folks?.... stuff like that). So, androsexual = guys, gynosexual = girls; defined by the person being attractive, rather than attracted. I'm probably making things unnecessarily complicated, though 2 Quote Previous challenges: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) Link to comment
Reluctant Amazon Posted September 16, 2014 Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 I really struggle with internalized and externalized transphobia. And within two months all of a sudden two trans people are working in my department and I want to scream. Being locked inside sucks.Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment
Hit Posted September 16, 2014 Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 So, androsexual = guys, gynosexual = girls; defined by the person being attractive, rather than attracted.Ooo i like this! Thanks for explaining that def makes more sense - basing it on the person you find attractive and not yourself - tho i wonder what the genderqueer equivalent would be for it. Amazon - can you talk to these people and maybe share your experiences? If they can be out at work then so can you right? Quote It's the moose on the inside that counts. Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted September 16, 2014 Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 I wish more people could learn to accept that others are different without judging.Amazon, do you think you could gauge others' reactions to them enough to ease the fear a little if they are well accepted? As a side note, I'm starting to wonder if I am more a-gender than cis-gender. I don't really identify with being a woman but don't want to be a man either. I haven't figured out yet if that's just me rejecting what society says a woman should be though. I imagine it will be a while before I figure it out if I do at all. For so long in my life gender just meant what body I have as far as I knew and it's hard to separate that. Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Madam_Patella Posted September 16, 2014 Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 As a side note, I'm starting to wonder if I am more a-gender than cis-gender. I don't really identify with being a woman but don't want to be a man either. I haven't figured out yet if that's just me rejecting what society says a woman should be though. I imagine it will be a while before I figure it out if I do at all. For so long in my life gender just meant what body I have as far as I knew and it's hard to separate that. Huh, and I was starting to worry there wasn't anyone else one who felt this way. I completely understand the feeling of not really identifying as any gender and I probably wouldn't care if my meat-suit was biologically male or female. Quote Link to comment
Rocker3722 Posted September 17, 2014 Report Share Posted September 17, 2014 In my opinion people put too much emphasis on gender identity, there isn't a whole lot of differences between being a good man/woman in modern society and being a good person. While I identify as a man I prefer to strive for being a good person. 4 Quote Lvl. 2 Elf Ranger"Ouch! What, did something happen?" Link to comment
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