SevenofSeven Posted October 7, 2014 Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 Why can't people who are straight in a LGBTQA space just say, no thank you and feel complimented by the fact someone just tried to pick them up?A lot of years ago I lost my lolly at some friends, as they were going on about how they would totally beat the crap out of any "poofta" who tried to touch their arse. However they didn't like to be told that any poofta in his right mind would not be attracted to a loud mouthed, fat, lazy, over bearing, homophobic prick. Funny how they took offence to being told the truth.But I think if you are going to frequent bars and clubs that are generally known as LGBTQA then you need to respect their space. If you can't do that don't go there. Why is it so hard for people to work that out? 2 Quote Wait! What............? Link to comment
ColoQ Posted October 7, 2014 Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 are the biggest problems with non-exclusive gay bars. the local gay bar in Perth had a huge problem with bachelorette parties, but i think theyve outright banned them now. its hard to think of something more disrespectful (and just downright rude) to the queer community then celebrating your straight marriage in a queer space, where the majority of the people there cant legally get married. Speaking of which, news from today in the States... Not perfect, but I'll take it 2 Quote ColoQ || Level: 0 Techno Troll || Assassin ========================= Current Challenge: 0 - V.2 Previous Challenges: , -------------------------------------------------- STR 0 || DEX 0 || STA 0 CON 0 || WIS 0 || CHA 0 -------------------------------------------------- Link to comment
Hit Posted October 7, 2014 Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 thats a damn site better than the news in australia today... Quote It's the moose on the inside that counts. Link to comment
shaeon Posted October 7, 2014 Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 woop here comes the assumption police - just cos people appear to be in a heteronormative relationship does not mean the two people are straight, cis, or not-queer. so lets keep all the options on the table and not try to judge people super quick. Well, technically everything I'm talking about is an assumption. For all I know, those bachelorette party girls are all bi. However, people project an awful lot by gawking, or by clinging to their girlfriends like a human shield. In general, it's probably better for you, your friends, and everyone at the bar if you don't go to bars where you are uncomfortable/are intimidated by a lot of the regulars/are there to treat the regulars like entertainment when they aren't there ostensibly to entertain you. There are certainly bars I don't go to because I wouldn't feel comfortable there. ColoQ - that was great news today. Sadly, I live in one of those light blue states, without a ring in it. I need to move. Quote SHAEON Jedi Apprentice Druid Character Sheet Daily Battle Log: Shaeon Restores Balance to the Force Past Challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 Current Challenge: Shaeon Focuses "With great boots comes great responsibility." Link to comment
Hit Posted October 7, 2014 Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 In general, it's probably better for you, your friends, and everyone at the bar if you don't go to bars where you are uncomfortable/are intimidated by a lot of the regulars/are there to treat the regulars like entertainment when they aren't there ostensibly to entertain you. this is undeniably true. its also more obvious from your second post that you're talking about specific actions rather than specific people, so sorry if we got our wires crossed there. a ctions speak louder than identities, if you're gonna be an asshole you're not welcome in a queer space, regardless of who you are 2 Quote It's the moose on the inside that counts. Link to comment
shaeon Posted October 7, 2014 Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 No worries, Hitlion! I may adapt "actions speak louder than identities" and begin using it regularly. Quote SHAEON Jedi Apprentice Druid Character Sheet Daily Battle Log: Shaeon Restores Balance to the Force Past Challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 Current Challenge: Shaeon Focuses "With great boots comes great responsibility." Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted October 7, 2014 Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 Speaking of which, news from today in the States... Not perfect, but I'll take it I'm surprised to see Texas has announced intent to legalize. I didn't realize it had made it that far yet here. 'Bout time. 1 Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Hit Posted October 7, 2014 Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 I don't care what she was born as, this is dead sexy^Kind of a poor choice of words given she was brutally murdered a day or so ago... :| Quote It's the moose on the inside that counts. Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted October 7, 2014 Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 Yeah, sorry I actually just noticed that and added an edit. My eyes are crap and the print is tiny on this screen. I think I'll just take that whole part down right now and schedule to surgically remove my foot from my mouth. One more lesson on the dangers of assumptions, seeing the title I assumed it was a hate speech article. Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Hit Posted October 7, 2014 Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 I should have posted a link to the news article, sorry :| Quote It's the moose on the inside that counts. Link to comment
Artinum Posted October 7, 2014 Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 Yeah, sorry I actually just noticed that and added an edit. My eyes are crap and the print is tiny on this screen. I think I'll just take that whole part down right now and schedule to surgically remove my foot from my mouth. One more lesson on the dangers of assumptions, seeing the title I assumed it was a hate speech article. Seeing the general layout, I'm assuming this is one of the more sensationalist tabloids. Looks rather like the UK's "Daily Star". If it's anything like that soft-porn rag, I have good news - this story is probably either entirely made up or at least heavily exaggerated. We can hope. Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
Frost of the Gloaming Posted October 7, 2014 Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 Unfortunately it's not made up and I haven't read the story in that paper, but overall it's pretty gruesome Quote Between a rock and a hard place, use our finger nails to climb, it's all we know.......... Daily Mile Perfer et obdura: Dolor hic tibi proderit olim Link to comment
Hit Posted October 7, 2014 Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 Its real. Its fucking horrible. And increasingly bizarre. The media in australia are swarming over it building the story into a scandal. http://mobile.news.com.au/national/killer-chef-marcus-volke-worked-led-a-secret-double-life-as-a-male-prostitute-friends-say/story-fncynjr2-1227083355387 Quote It's the moose on the inside that counts. Link to comment
insanity Posted October 8, 2014 Report Share Posted October 8, 2014 Why can't people who are straight in a LGBTQA space just say, no thank you and feel complimented by the fact someone just tried to pick them up?This is how I've always looked at it... I don't care who you are, if you show some form of attraction, the bare minimum response is a thank you, and a smile. 1 Quote "Insanity - you make my world a better place man, you really do! That shit is awesome! :D" - Guzzi- My first challenge My battle Log: Insanity: Warrior Monk Honorary Ranger dubbed by DarK_RaideR, 1000 Pound club (875 of 1000) Link to comment
Vella Posted October 8, 2014 Report Share Posted October 8, 2014 This is how I've always looked at it... I don't care who you are, if you show some form of attraction, the bare minimum response is a thank you, and a smile. Pretty much this. Like, unless the person is being creepy/forceful/intimidating about it, just be polite. The sentiment "You look like a pretty cool human that I would like to be more involved with" shouldn't be offensive. Its real. Its fucking horrible. And increasingly bizarre. The media in australia are swarming over it building the story into a scandal.http://mobile.news.com.au/national/killer-chef-marcus-volke-worked-led-a-secret-double-life-as-a-male-prostitute-friends-say/story-fncynjr2-1227083355387 Oh god, this has been all over Facebook and I'm just like ... Can we not? Just, as a country can we just not? Ever? Quote Previous challenges: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) Link to comment
Liam Posted October 8, 2014 Report Share Posted October 8, 2014 Its real. Its fucking horrible. And increasingly bizarre. The media in australia are swarming over it building the story into a scandal.http://mobile.news.com.au/national/killer-chef-marcus-volke-worked-led-a-secret-double-life-as-a-male-prostitute-friends-say/story-fncynjr2-1227083355387 agreed, it is just being pulled apart like some sort of spectacle, I've heard multiple reporters being quite inappropriate considering the horrendous nature of the crime. From simply using incorrect pronouns to outright mocking of the couple, particularly the murder victim. It's just so so sad. BTW, I actually dropped by to introduce myself. I'm Liam, 26 year old transguy from Perth, Australia, G'day all. 3 Quote Link to comment
shaeon Posted October 8, 2014 Report Share Posted October 8, 2014 Greetings, Liam! Pretty much this. Like, unless the person is being creepy/forceful/intimidating about it, just be polite. The sentiment "You look like a pretty cool human that I would like to be more involved with" shouldn't be offensive. Indeed. Quote SHAEON Jedi Apprentice Druid Character Sheet Daily Battle Log: Shaeon Restores Balance to the Force Past Challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 Current Challenge: Shaeon Focuses "With great boots comes great responsibility." Link to comment
Hit Posted October 8, 2014 Report Share Posted October 8, 2014 oh hey, another perthian! welcome Liam Quote It's the moose on the inside that counts. Link to comment
SevenofSeven Posted October 8, 2014 Report Share Posted October 8, 2014 Hey Liam, seems like a few Sandgropers are popping up in NF.Welcome Quote Wait! What............? Link to comment
Frost of the Gloaming Posted October 8, 2014 Report Share Posted October 8, 2014 Sandgroper, that sounds like something you would do on the beach...... 2 Quote Between a rock and a hard place, use our finger nails to climb, it's all we know.......... Daily Mile Perfer et obdura: Dolor hic tibi proderit olim Link to comment
Gainsdalf the Whey Posted October 8, 2014 Report Share Posted October 8, 2014 and yeah when did straight girls going to gay male bars become a thing? Is it just that the lack of sexual interest factor by the men, makes it more fun for them? From my experience being out with the girls in my core group of friends at non-gay bars (is there a term for this, "normal bar" didn't seem right at all), I imagine it's a safety thing. Over the years, I've had 2 physical altercations due to guys hitting on them and getting pushy about it when they weren't interested, and narrowly avoided at least half a dozen more. I imagine at a gay bar, at least if the girls got hit on, the drunk-lesbain is less likely to be really baligerantly aggresive with it than the drunk bro dude. I agree that they need to be cool with it and handle it properly if it happens, it's not hard, I've done it. If you're terrified of getting hit on by queer-folk, you shouldn't be going to a queer bar. 3 Quote Massrandir, Barkûn, Swolórin, The Whey Pilgrim 500 / 330 / 625 Challenges: 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 31 32 34 35 36 39 41 42 45 46 47 48 49 Current Challenge "No citizen has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a disgrace it is for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable. " ~ Socrates "Friends don't let friends squat high." ~ Chad Wesley Smith "It's a dangerous business, Brodo, squatting to the floor. You step into the rack, and if you don't keep your form, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ Gainsdalf Link to comment
Twilight Posted October 8, 2014 Report Share Posted October 8, 2014 Gay bars are one of the only places I can go to escape straight cis dudes sometimes. :-p (And yet I still get hit on by guys there ... sigh.) Quote Link to comment
shaeon Posted October 8, 2014 Report Share Posted October 8, 2014 I imagine it's a safety thing. Over the years, I've had 2 physical altercations due to guys hitting on them and getting pushy about it when they weren't interested, and narrowly avoided at least half a dozen more. I think part of it is the fun of being able to dance with hot guys and it not be anything more than dancing - last I checked it's not hard to get danced with at a gay bar, particularly if you're friendly. Or the freedom to dance with your fellow girls, if you like doing that, without it turning into a bunch of jerks fistpumping and high-fiving over how awesome it is when girls are with girls (see: the previous example of my friend's misguided attempt to get a guy to leave us alone by making it appear that we are a couple). But safety is certainly part of it too. I've encountered gay men that touch without permission, and some lesbians that do that. But in both cases, even if you are not ok with the touching and feel the need to make that boundary clear, there isn't a perceived threat of them trying to follow you to the parking lot and assault you. And you know. If your friends are gay, or if you enjoy the company of gay people - which I think is possible to do without treating us like charming accessories that straight people keep around to make them look cooler - it's just a way to hang out with people you like in an environment where THEY get to feel comfortable. 2 Quote SHAEON Jedi Apprentice Druid Character Sheet Daily Battle Log: Shaeon Restores Balance to the Force Past Challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 Current Challenge: Shaeon Focuses "With great boots comes great responsibility." Link to comment
shaeon Posted October 8, 2014 Report Share Posted October 8, 2014 Gay bars are one of the only places I can go to escape straight cis dudes sometimes. :-p (And yet I still get hit on by guys there ... sigh.) What is your reaction to that? I have a friend whose husband is a trans man. She likes to go to gay bars, he does not because gay men hit on him and try to dance with him. He's successfully passing as male, and being perceived as queer... just not in a way that's accurate. It seems frustrating. Quote SHAEON Jedi Apprentice Druid Character Sheet Daily Battle Log: Shaeon Restores Balance to the Force Past Challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 Current Challenge: Shaeon Focuses "With great boots comes great responsibility." Link to comment
Liam Posted October 9, 2014 Report Share Posted October 9, 2014 I think part of it is the fun of being able to dance with hot guys and it not be anything more than dancing - last I checked it's not hard to get danced with at a gay bar, particularly if you're friendly. Or the freedom to dance with your fellow girls, if you like doing that, without it turning into a bunch of jerks fistpumping and high-fiving over how awesome it is when girls are with girls (see: the previous example of my friend's misguided attempt to get a guy to leave us alone by making it appear that we are a couple). But safety is certainly part of it too. I've encountered gay men that touch without permission, and some lesbians that do that. But in both cases, even if you are not ok with the touching and feel the need to make that boundary clear, there isn't a perceived threat of them trying to follow you to the parking lot and assault you. And you know. If your friends are gay, or if you enjoy the company of gay people - which I think is possible to do without treating us like charming accessories that straight people keep around to make them look cooler - it's just a way to hang out with people you like in an environment where THEY get to feel comfortable. Not that where I live is a great example because there arn't that many LGBT specific clubs and bars but I know most of my partner's friends who are mostly straight prefure them because they are safer, plus they have a great vibe. What is your reaction to that? I have a friend whose husband is a trans man. She likes to go to gay bars, he does not because gay men hit on him and try to dance with him. He's successfully passing as male, and being perceived as queer... just not in a way that's accurate. It seems frustrating. My partner likes to go to gay bars for the reasons mentioned above and if I go with her (i'm not into going out as she is) it's never really bothered me, personally. I have striaght cis friends who will go with us too and they dont have a problem either, but we're all usually just going to dance and have fun not really to hook up or anything so it might be different if that was your aim? Like i said before though there are probably more straight cis people in most of the gay/queer/LGBT type clubs in Perth anyway so biased sample really Quote Link to comment
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