MEN ONLY THREAD part two

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

Like wildross, you have some interesting choices. I've been with my wife 9.5 years, married 18 months (Jesus, that's it?), and I couldn't imagine this happening to me. It would completely blow my mind. At the same time, if 9 months later it happened to be rekindled, I'd probably give it another shot, especially with all the reasons wildross gave as to what really could have drove the response from her. But you never mentioned any kind of interest in that direction. If nothing else, if you guys got along that well, I'd say stay in contact. If you were together that long and anything like my wife and I, you were each others best friends and should still know each other better than anyone else.

[AgentsSka]

Vasectomies....who has had one?

 

After our third kid was born last month, we're officially done.  That is to say, I thought we were done after our daughter was born 5 years ago, but my wife advised me that I was misinformed and that we would be having a third.  The third is here, and with two boys and a girl, we're truly done.

 

So I had a consultation for a vasectomy today and based on the recovery time and the restriction on high intensity activity, I'm going to have it done in early May after I finish my current Insanity program.

 

Has anyone here had one and care to share the details of how it went, recovery, and so on?  How about any issues with "back pressure"? Which the doctor said can cause discomfort up to 9-months post-operation (and he clarified that it could mean 'take a couple of days off work").

 

I've had one.  And, it really wasn't that bad.

 

However, it was an operation on my balls!  So, of course, whatever the doctor said to do for care - you better freaking believe that I followed every instruction the freaking letter.  For two days, it was lots of movies and a bunch of icing. But, I really had no adverse affects. 

 

For me the worst part was the prep.  At the time, I wasn't manscaping with a razor so much.  (Pretty much have been ever since.)  So, they tell you to shave the day of.  So, timidly - because it's the first time I've put a freaking razor on my sack - I took care of business.  However, when Helga (can you ever use the name Helga without thinking of some burly Hungarian woman - it's accurate) came in to prep me for surgery, she decided to make sure that I was truly ready.  She grabbed a disposable bic and proceeded to aggressively dry shave me.  And, at that time I truly believed that Helga hated men, and that she wanted to remove any evidence that I ever had testicles.  But, I survived.  

 

Fast Forward... Surgery is underway. I'm laying there trying to relax. Again, it's surgery on my nuts! So, I'm staring at the ceiling and I have my hands folded behind my head.  Suddenly, he pauses and asks me if I am gripping the table.  The table is your typical medical office table, small amount of padding on a metal base.  I tell him that I'm not, and ask why.  He says, "Because I am going to begin cauterizing & some people feel shocks in their hands because they are touching metal."  So, unless you want to be like the Emperor, don't touch the metal!

 

The kicker to all of this is that there was music in the room. And, of course it was set to the local "Light Rock" station. I. Kid. You. Not.  As, I'm laying there getting the surgery, what song comes on the radio?  Marvin Gaye's "

."  To this day, when I hear that song, I remember my vascectomy.

[AgentsSka]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

How's that for my first ever post in the man thread!?

[ColbyWan]

I say mighty darn good. ~fills out your man card~ That had to have been the most horrifying and hilarious story I have read in a while.

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

Very good story. Much enjoyed. Don't know how you didn't chuckle when that song came on.

[WizardTrip]

Very good story. Much enjoyed. Don't know how you didn't chuckle when that song came on.

 

Chuckle? After all that...I'd be singing along

[guest439437484421]

So, I've been thinking about getting a vesectomy.  I want kids, but not at the moment.  I haven't made up my mind one way or the other.  The major concern is that there's a slight chance that it may not be reversable if i decide i want kids.  Dunno.

[AgentsSka]

I say mighty darn good. ~fills out your man card~ That had to have been the most horrifying and hilarious story I have read in a while.

oooh a man card!  I've always wanted one of these.

 

Very good story. Much enjoyed. Don't know how you didn't chuckle when that song came on.

um... because dude was cauterizing my nuts!!! I was doing everything I could not to even flinch! (In my head, I was thinking that it was the most ridiculous moment of my life to that point.)

 

Chuckle? After all that...I'd be singing along

Maybe if it was post surgery.

 

So, I've been thinking about getting a vesectomy.  I want kids, but not at the moment.  I haven't made up my mind one way or the other.  The major concern is that there's a slight chance that it may not be reversable if i decide i want kids.  Dunno.

My recommendation would be to not do it unless you are 100% sure.  I was young when I got it done.  I was 28ish.  But, I had had three kids and knew that no matter what life threw at me, I was done having kids. The success rate for reversal is meh.  Also, it's surgery on your nuts!  Even if it is no big deal; you really want to go through it more than once??

[Irish Oisin]

So, I've been thinking about getting a vesectomy.  I want kids, but not at the moment.  I haven't made up my mind one way or the other.  The major concern is that there's a slight chance that it may not be reversable if i decide i want kids.  Dunno.

 

As my doctor says; "For the love of god, wear a condom"

[67alecto]

I've had one.  And, it really wasn't that bad.

 

However, it was an operation on my balls!  So, of course, whatever the doctor said to do for care - you better freaking believe that I followed every instruction the freaking letter.  For two days, it was lots of movies and a bunch of icing. But, I really had no adverse affects. 

 

Thanks for relating this.

 

After those first two days, did you have any pain or flare ups due to exertion?  The doctor mentioned that with heavy lifting, high intensity exercise, etc there's a chance of back pressure building up which could be very uncomfortable (that's where he mentioned it could be a case where "you need to take a couple of days off work").  He said that can occur up to 9 months post-operation.

[161803398874989]

I say mighty darn good. ~fills out your man card~ That had to have been the most horrifying and hilarious story I have read in a while.

You'll have to pass that along to me in order for it to be official.

[SeeGee]

So, I've been thinking about getting a vesectomy.  I want kids, but not at the moment.  I haven't made up my mind one way or the other.  The major concern is that there's a slight chance that it may not be reversable if i decide i want kids.  Dunno.

Do not consider it reversible! They sometimes can be reversed but there are a significant number that cannot be. It is also expensive to reverse a vasectomy. There are other options for birth control besides vasectomy. You may meet a woman who wants children and the vasectomy could be a major stumbling block. Trust me on this one, I know. 

[Suited hippy]

Thanks for the feed back. I'll come clean, I was doing a bit of drinking when writing that... went on a bit of a bender, missed a day of work, laid in bed just unable to muster the strength to move. I forgot the most fundamental facet of my new mantra "run through it." Did a killer work out today, after a great day doing some really interesting work, and I feel like my head is back on straight... well straighter.

 

The cure was non-traditional, non-chemical, non-surgical... It was a process called dry needleing where they pretty much dragged a bunch of needles along her spine to trick the brain. I asked my own doctor about the process and he said he could not believe it did anything, but was happy that she was feeling better.

 

At first I thought it was just the withdrawals  that given a few months she would come around, her mind would straighten out, and we could get on with our lives. I did not sleep around, I just waited for her to call saying she was sorry... but the call never came. 

 

Now I am in that strange predicament. Do I try to fix it? Because you are very right, I did not mention if I want to even try... She was my best friend, for years the only friend I had in town, and I still love her more than the character limit of this post would allow me to describe. But with her out of my life I have done amazing things, grown more as a person than I ever knew possible.

 

Awash I am, but at least I got my head straightened out to not be overwhelmed by it anymore.

 

Thanks again for the feedback men!

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

You miss her, that's natural.  But if you take her back without her acknowledging what she has done to you, admitting it was wrong and giving some evidence she has made changes in her life, you'll just be setting yourself up for something similar.  If you want her, you have to wait on her to grow so she won't do the same thing to you in the future.  Whatever you do, don't try to fix it, because the potential for enabling her to do the same thing again is too high.  Be patient, and wait.

[AgentsSka]

Thanks for relating this.

 

After those first two days, did you have any pain or flare ups due to exertion?  The doctor mentioned that with heavy lifting, high intensity exercise, etc there's a chance of back pressure building up which could be very uncomfortable (that's where he mentioned it could be a case where "you need to take a couple of days off work").  He said that can occur up to 9 months post-operation.

Honestly, I wasn't doing much lifting at that time, so I can't really speak to that portion of it.

[wildross]

You miss her, that's natural.  But if you take her back without her acknowledging what she has done to you, admitting it was wrong and giving some evidence she has made changes in her life, you'll just be setting yourself up for something similar.  If you want her, you have to wait on her to grow so she won't do the same thing to you in the future.  Whatever you do, don't try to fix it, because the potential for enabling her to do the same thing again is too high.  Be patient, and wait.

I think this is a great insight.  There needs to be a lot of communicating about what happened, why, what was learned, what needs to be different, etc, etc.

 

There are some pretty nasty psychosis(es, eze??) that use illness to control other people, but they are partly characterized by the person's inability to recognize what they are doing.

[Suited hippy]

You miss her, that's natural.  But if you take her back without her acknowledging what she has done to you, admitting it was wrong and giving some evidence she has made changes in her life, you'll just be setting yourself up for something similar.  If you want her, you have to wait on her to grow so she won't do the same thing to you in the future.  Whatever you do, don't try to fix it, because the potential for enabling her to do the same thing again is too high.  Be patient, and wait.

Thanks for this dude. It's exactly what I needed to get my head around.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Thanks for this dude. It's exactly what I needed to get my head around.

A good book for you might be Boundaries by John Townsend, it can provide some really good insights on how to tread carefully on the precarious path before you.  I wish you all the best.

[Irish Oisin]

I find having a garden shed with my lawnmower, logs, gardening accessories etc in it oddly satisfying. On a nice day I'll use the shed and sit outside it with my dog running around me. Is this a man thing? As if the shed is a sanctuary of some kind? I'm single and live on my own so it's not like it's the sanctuary where you're avoiding your wife/girlfriend in a funny sitcom kind of way.

 

Anyone else?

 

No?

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I would say it's certainly a man thing. Outside, good, dog, good, shed representing manly pursuits of manual labor, good.  Sitting in a place to enjoy all three, great!

[Irish Oisin]

I thought as much! I think men find odd things enjoyable, like sharpening knives and axes and feeling the difference when you use them

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Who says that's odd?

[Irish Oisin]

A few of my friends, who have equally manly habits, but I take great pleasure in things like that and the pleasure can be seen, I'll smile and look satisfied.

 

*chops wood, looks at chopped wood, looks pleased, nods contently*

 

That kind of thing

[Red1263]

A few of my friends, who have equally manly habits, but I take great pleasure in things like that and the pleasure can be seen, I'll smile and look satisfied.

 

*chops wood, looks at chopped wood, looks pleased, nods contently*

 

That kind of thing

I feel the same way just by hiking and stopping at the end of a long trail, I'd like to just stand there and admire, not just the view, but the depleted energy I spent, and just the very fact that I'm standing right were I am.

[Irish Oisin]

I'm the very same, standing on top of a mountain or on the edge of a cliff and feeling like you've conquered something