MEN ONLY THREAD part two

[Artinum]

After eating paleo and going back to milk, yes. I found that I have a small bit of lactose intolerance. It doesn't bother me, but it does those around me, so I limit it.

 

Take advantage of it:

[Waldo]

You know I'm not surprised I'm not the only person that has been doing noporn/nofap on this thread, geeks unite 'l; but seriously I've noticed a major difference since I have stopped, and I highly recommend it to pretty much every red blooded geek out there

'Eh, I imagine that what I'm going to describe is an extreme case that few men will experience, and those that do only a short period of their lives. But through extremes we tend to learn how the levers that you push and pull tend to work. Everyone knows how the abstinence extreme works. However at the other end....

Trying to conceive with fertility issues can be daunting. Especially as you progress from casually trying to ever more and more hardcore with doctors involved a couple times a month. That 5 day fertility window each month becomes an absolute marathon, especially when you need to perform multiple times a day.

All you young'uns (or even many others that haven't experienced it) may be thinking, a couple times a day every day, heck yeah. Fapping like that is no big deal. However the real deal is a different story. The real deal has a much stronger effect on hormones/desire. The real deal also has a shared mood, ugh, lets get this over quick, where she's not that into it, but needs the transaction to occur, is not real arousing, yet frequently occurs. You also need to recharge as fast as possible, if you are shooting blanks because of too high of frequency, you are wasting your time and energy.

Frequency begets frequency. One needs a periodized plan to deal with this. One doesn't go from fapping/real deal once a week to multiple times a day at the drop of a hat. You'll be shooting blanks and have no desire by round 2-3. On top of that, you need to be at your strongest not at first, but in the late middle (day 4 is about when you need to peak).

A few days in advance you need to ramp up (by the end of her period) to multiple times a day fapping. You need to get your body used to rapid cycling. Then back off and take a break the day before. Use your desire resources wisely at first, it is a finite well, but you can stoke it and get it burning raging hot if you do things right.

You can consciously cause production. The more excited you are between sessions, the less likely you are to be shooting blanks, or even low. Some fertility discussions/sources out there say that you should only do it every other day so that the man is firing full charges. This is BS, maybe for the no-porn no-fap types, but you can build up to firing full power multiple times a day. What this means of course, it that you have to keep yourself as excited as possible between sessions. If you are doing it right your nuts should hurt because they are so full by many of the sessions (not so much in the mornings, hard to build up like that while sleeping).

To keep yourself as excited as possible, with no fapping (strike that, no reaching the conclusion of fapping, no better way to keep yourself excited than a little fapping here and there), is the real trick during the prime fertility window. Porn is a very useful tool. Anything to get you excited. Keep your mind "in the gutter" as much as possible.

If you do it right you can go through the whole prime fertility window, rarin to go every session, firing full power, multiple times a day.

I'm curious, but just don't know for sure, how this relates to testosterone production, but my educated guess is that desire is an acute byproduct of testosterone production. That desire and sperm production are merely a facet of testosterone production and that you can mentally control its production to some degree. That is the same tricks I've learned/used in order to maximize the monthly fertility window is akin to taking steroids to some degree, except that it is produced by the body entirely naturally. I'd bet money that when I reach that desire peak, that my T levels are off the charts for a natural guy my age.

[stevembk]

I think that porn addiction is an issue that differs from just abstinence.

 

The book I was told to read a few pages back goes into that. It says that healthy fapping is ok if you are being completely aware of the feeling instead of fantasizing and visual aid.

[Artinum]

Doesn't matter how often I hop into bed with my partner. He's never gonna get pregnant.

 

Not that I want children anyway. Can't stand the things. My partner's a teacher, so he works with a few dozen of the little buggers every day and definitely doesn't want any of his own. And in any event, my genes are pretty lousy. I wouldn't want to pass them on to anyone.

[Frost of the Gloaming]

haha Art

 

say no to the death grip!

 

 

according to my urologist, it takes somewhere between 5-7 hrs to start regenerating sperm and somewhere between 24hr -72hr to be fully charged

[Waldo]

according to my urologist, it takes somewhere between 5-7 hrs to start regenerating sperm and somewhere between 24hr -72hr to be fully charged

It is a function of excitement. If you have zero desire, even after 48 hours you can still producing a pitiful quantity.

Keep yourself in the Cialis danger zone (erection lasting more than 4 hours) on top of having a body that is used to going for it a few times a day and you can produce it much faster. 5-7 hours is incidentally about how long it takes to start getting your desire back naturally unless you are deliberately forcing it.

In some ways it is a lot like women's milk production when nursing; it will ramp up/down to meet demand. But unlike milk production, there is a conscious element to it, you can create artificial demand with anticipation/excitement.

[Frost of the Gloaming]

my only advice is to not get stressed out by it and enjoy yourself

[Artinum]

my only advice is to not get stressed out by it and enjoy yourself

 

There is something to that. Sometimes the best thing to do is stop trying. Instead of killing yourselves over it, do what feels right - and let fate take care of itself. If a baby happens, there you go. If it doesn't, there are other things you can try.

[Waldo]

my only advice is to not get stressed out by it and enjoy yourself

Whether the guy is stressed about it or not really doesn't matter. You have to do your best to perform and lets the cards fall as they may.

But this is my 2nd go round with it, already have one little one. So there isn't that near franticness and the what ifs that happen before the first one. Though soon were going to bump up to the next level (and significantly more $$) of doctor involvement, which was needed for the first. Despite about 5 years total of trying, still haven't conceived one the old fashioned way.

[RandomGuy]

'Eh, I imagine that what I'm going to describe is an extreme case that few men will experience, and those that do only a short period of their lives. But through extremes we tend to learn how the levers that you push and pull tend to work. Everyone knows how the abstinence extreme works. However at the other end....

Trying to conceive with fertility issues can be daunting. Especially as you progress from casually trying to ever more and more hardcore with doctors involved a couple times a month. That 5 day fertility window each month becomes an absolute marathon, especially when you need to perform multiple times a day.

All you young'uns (or even many others that haven't experienced it) may be thinking, a couple times a day every day, heck yeah. Fapping like that is no big deal. However the real deal is a different story. The real deal has a much stronger effect on hormones/desire. The real deal also has a shared mood, ugh, lets get this over quick, where she's not that into it, but needs the transaction to occur, is not real arousing, yet frequently occurs. You also need to recharge as fast as possible, if you are shooting blanks because of too high of frequency, you are wasting your time and energy.

Frequency begets frequency. One needs a periodized plan to deal with this. One doesn't go from fapping/real deal once a week to multiple times a day at the drop of a hat. You'll be shooting blanks and have no desire by round 2-3. On top of that, you need to be at your strongest not at first, but in the late middle (day 4 is about when you need to peak).

A few days in advance you need to ramp up (by the end of her period) to multiple times a day fapping. You need to get your body used to rapid cycling. Then back off and take a break the day before. Use your desire resources wisely at first, it is a finite well, but you can stoke it and get it burning raging hot if you do things right.

You can consciously cause production. The more excited you are between sessions, the less likely you are to be shooting blanks, or even low. Some fertility discussions/sources out there say that you should only do it every other day so that the man is firing full charges. This is BS, maybe for the no-porn no-fap types, but you can build up to firing full power multiple times a day. What this means of course, it that you have to keep yourself as excited as possible between sessions. If you are doing it right your nuts should hurt because they are so full by many of the sessions (not so much in the mornings, hard to build up like that while sleeping).

To keep yourself as excited as possible, with no fapping (strike that, no reaching the conclusion of fapping, no better way to keep yourself excited than a little fapping here and there), is the real trick during the prime fertility window. Porn is a very useful tool. Anything to get you excited. Keep your mind "in the gutter" as much as possible.

If you do it right you can go through the whole prime fertility window, rarin to go every session, firing full power, multiple times a day.

I'm curious, but just don't know for sure, how this relates to testosterone production, but my educated guess is that desire is an acute byproduct of testosterone production. That desire and sperm production are merely a facet of testosterone production and that you can mentally control its production to some degree. That is the same tricks I've learned/used in order to maximize the monthly fertility window is akin to taking steroids to some degree, except that it is produced by the body entirely naturally. I'd bet money that when I reach that desire peak, that my T levels are off the charts for a natural guy my age.

 

Been there. We went full route, which had me going to the hospital, picking up the envelope with the mags and movies from the nurses station (and trying to ignore that she knew exactly what I was fixin' to do), and walking down the hall (in front of a dozen or so other patients/spouses - trying to ignore that they all knew exactly what I was fixin' to do), spending 5 minutes finding something that would provide maximum arousal, then making the return route with my brown bag containing a cup I hoped contained 1/2 of a kid.

 

My counts weren't low to begin with, but doc told that to ramp up the count, purge the system about 48 hours prior and to spend as much time after that thinking about sex and doing everything we could short of trigger pull. It worked - twice.

[Waldo]

Been there. We went full route, which had me going to the hospital, picking up the envelope with the mags and movies from the nurses station (and trying to ignore that she knew exactly what I was fixin' to do), and walking down the hall (in front of a dozen or so other patients/spouses - trying to ignore that they all knew exactly what I was fixin' to do), spending 5 minutes finding something that would provide maximum arousal, then making the return route with my brown bag containing a cup I hoped contained 1/2 of a kid.

 

My counts weren't low to begin with, but doc told that to ramp up the count, purge the system about 48 hours prior and to spend as much time after that thinking about sex and doing everything we could short of trigger pull. It worked - twice.

Same, though I've only done it once and fortunately it was done at a quiet time with a lot of relative privacy, I think that I really only interacted with one nurse. It worked though. Only a few months away from round 2, since it seems the old fashioned way isn't working again.

Huh, I wasn't aware that docs actually suggested that. Its really something I worked out via trial and error on my own.

Funny thing is that I've never even really told my wife, she is utterly oblivious to it. At first she was pushing the once every 48 hours thing and testing to find that perfect moment (probably wasted at least 1-2 years with this), but I've convinced her that that is hogwash, that the perfect moment (as tested) is about the last possible moment, and that you totally waste most of the window focusing on the tested results (and that thinking less sex will increase chances is stupid thinking), and that I can be ready to go a lot faster than every 48 hours.

And the same, my counts aren't low either. Quite the opposite.

[RandomGuy]

Same, though I've only done it once and fortunately it was done at a quiet time with a lot of relative privacy, I think that I really only interacted with one nurse. It worked though. Only a few months away from round 2, since it seems the old fashioned way isn't working again.

Huh, I wasn't aware that docs actually suggested that. Its really something I worked out via trial and error on my own.

Funny thing is that I've never even really told my wife, she is utterly oblivious to it. At first she was pushing the once every 48 hours thing and testing to find that perfect moment (probably wasted at least 1-2 years with this), but I've convinced her that that is hogwash, that the perfect moment (as tested) is about the last possible moment, and that you totally waste most of the window focusing on the tested results (and that thinking less sex will increase chances is stupid thinking), and that I can be ready to go a lot faster than every 48 hours.

And the same, my counts aren't low either. Quite the opposite.

 

We wasted years (7) and cash (tens of thousands) and emotion as well. Ended up in that 10% catergory of "there's no reason you 2 shouldn't be able to conceive a baby." Once we went all-in with IVF on kid #1, we didn't waste time on the prelims with #2 - straight to IVF.

 

As for the wife, she had to know the ops plan since it involved only her launch key getting turned during prelim drills. Usually from all the drilling, on launch day I could have just pulled up to a drive-thru window and turned my key without any outside stimuli.

[Waldo]

We wasted years (7) and cash (tens of thousands) and emotion as well. Ended up in that 10% catergory of "there's no reason you 2 shouldn't be able to conceive a baby." Once we went all-in with IVF on kid #1, we didn't waste time on the prelims with #2 - straight to IVF.

Damn, that's hardcore. We definitely haven't spent that much. Finally did an IUI with the first one and it worked fine. Went back to trying the old fashioned way for #2, after a year and a half of nothing we bumped up to fertility drugs (again), now we've got a date planned for the next round of IUI, hopefully it doesn't come to that (that shit ain't cheap, and insurance doesn't cover any of it).

The emotion is tough. Especially on the guys side because we are pretty much left alone/out of things. Look no further than the Fertility issues - WOMEN ONLY thread in the women's subforum. We are expected to perform, and little else.

It took a while though to get through to my wife that sex once or twice a month was not in fact the best plan, as she had stupidly been led to believe by womens fertility support groups (I consider years 1-2 an utter loss due to that)(another one of those cases of the blind leading the blind, much like you find frequently with weight loss (morbidly obese are in fact not the best givers of weight loss advice)). I had to go so far as to forbid the use of ovulation tests since their only function was to reduce the amount of sex we had to the extreme (and those damn things are expensive), I had to save up for that perfect moment and that was it. Uh, yeah, that is an idiotic plan. Though once we got doctors involved, they told her as much as well. Docs basically told us to screw as much as possible during the fertility window. I guess I could see how that one ideal shot would work if low counts for the guy was the issue, but in our case, that isn't.

[Thrillho]

Our first was an accident, and a BIG surprise for both of us, because, without going into details, my wife was declared medically unable to have kids. Ever. 

 

We started trying for a second, so our little dude wouldn't be an only child. After several miscarriages we resorted to fertility drugs for her, which appropriately enough killed her sex drive and made her even crankier than normal, so the infrequent times we tried it wasn't exactly "fun".  Eventually succeeded! Yay!

 

And, if we do the math right, the FIRST time we had sex after the second one was born resulted in the third kid.  

 

After that, it was an appointment with the LASER VASECTOMY doctor. Pew pew, lasers!

[RandomGuy]

Damn, that's hardcore. We definitely haven't spent that much. Finally did an IUI with the first one and it worked fine. Went back to trying the old fashioned way for #2, after a year and a half of nothing we bumped up to fertility drugs (again), now we've got a date planned for the next round of IUI, hopefully it doesn't come to that (that shit ain't cheap, and insurance doesn't cover any of it).

The emotion is tough. Especially on the guys side because we are pretty much left alone/out of things. Look no further than the Fertility issues - WOMEN ONLY thread in the women's subforum. We are expected to perform, and little else.

It took a while though to get through to my wife that sex once or twice a month was not in fact the best plan, as she had stupidly been led to believe by womens fertility support groups (I consider years 1-2 an utter loss due to that)(another one of those cases of the blind leading the blind, much like you find frequently with weight loss (morbidly obese are in fact not the best givers of weight loss advice)). I had to go so far as to forbid the use of ovulation tests since their only function was to reduce the amount of sex we had to the extreme (and those damn things are expensive), I had to save up for that perfect moment and that was it. Uh, yeah, that is an idiotic plan. Though once we got doctors involved, they told her as much as well. Docs basically told us to screw as much as possible during the fertility window. I guess I could see how that one ideal shot would work if low counts for the guy was the issue, but in our case, that isn't.

 

I should be more precise. The tens of thousands includes the successful IVFs, so I certainly don't consider that wasted. But about 5 years were actually wasted on timing, IUIs and fertility drugs because they found a physical problem with wife (later corrected by surgery) that would have made it impossible for her to conceive. Over and above dealing witht he fact that you're not getting pregnant, try adding "the wasted time, money and emotion is because we missed something obvious for 5 years" to the equation.

 

Needless to say, fired that squad.

 

Although my count and quality was never a concern of our doc, his mindset was along the lines of "as long as we're doing all of this, why not go for the best of the best with you?" too.

 

I'd add one other thing that pisses me off to this day - emotion filled medical practitioners. We had to grab them by the throats to get them to understand that we just wanted the most sound medical advice and not another shoulder to cry on. Example - there was a consideration about when to put back the embryos - Day 3 or wait to Day 5.  This presents a conundrum - the chances of the embryos making it outside womb until Day 5 was less than for those put back at Day 3 - but - of those did make it to Day 5, the pregnancy rate was higher. Since our goal was, you know, to get pregnant and carry the pregnancy to term, we went with Day 5. Doc says that statistically speaking, he would go with Day 5. Nurses, who you deal with 90% of the time, were literally crying at the thought that we might get to Day 5 and have no viable embryos.

 

Anyway, glad you got through once and hope you're successful on the next one.

[Jittersthe.Clown]

Going on a different path here because I have nothing to contribute to the current conversation.  I am curious; are there any Freemasons on the boards?  It seems to me that in a community as vast as we have here there should be at least some who would be a part of the craft.  I have been a Mason for the past 5 years and found it to be a wonderful experience.  Are there any Brothers out there?

[Thrillho]

I keep getting told that because my grandfather was one, and I still have all of his old Masonic items, I CAN "become" one, somehow.  Not the faintest clue what they actually are and/or do, other than weird rumors. 

[dntspard]

I'm part of the Knights of Columbus before I left the church...still technically a part of them I believe since never formally left. 

[RandomGuy]

Going on a different path here because I have nothing to contribute to the current conversation.  I am curious; are there any Freemasons on the boards?  It seems to me that in a community as vast as we have here there should be at least some who would be a part of the craft.  I have been a Mason for the past 5 years and found it to be a wonderful experience.  Are there any Brothers out there?

 

Jitters The Clown

 

Not to be confused with Jitters The Attorney

 

Sorry, old Seinfeld bit I couldn't resist  

[Frost of the Gloaming]

"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member." - Groucho Marx

[Corben]

Hi guys,

I'm not much of a poster here, but I find myself in need of some advice...

 

There's a girl who I have known for a long time, she's been with her current guy for a bit under a year.

About a couple of weeks ago she called me crying saying he is controlling her, deleting her friends and texts etc from her phone, reading her emails and facebook etc etc and she is stuck out of town on a property with nothing to do and no-one to talk to while he goes out to the mines for work.

 

Last night she FB PM'd me saying she has to relocate and can I call her tomorrow morning [once he's gone to work, I'm assuming]

 

 

So, obviously if she wants me to go pick her up I'll do it of course.

Hopefully I'll be in and out of there while he's not there.

He's a big guy, got it all over me in height, weight and reach. Plus he calls himself a kick boxer...

 

If I decide to take backup, what's better - cops or thugs?

Weapons?

 

Anyone who's been through it before - what's your advice?

[wildross]

Hi guys,

I'm not much of a poster here, but I find myself in need of some advice...

 

There's a girl who I have known for a long time, she's been with her current guy for a bit under a year.

About a couple of weeks ago she called me crying saying he is controlling her, deleting her friends and texts etc from her phone, reading her emails and facebook etc etc and she is stuck out of town on a property with nothing to do and no-one to talk to while he goes out to the mines for work.

 

Last night she FB PM'd me saying she has to relocate and can I call her tomorrow morning [once he's gone to work, I'm assuming]

 

 

So, obviously if she wants me to go pick her up I'll do it of course.

Hopefully I'll be in and out of there while he's not there.

He's a big guy, got it all over me in height, weight and reach. Plus he calls himself a kick boxer...

 

If I decide to take backup, what's better - cops or thugs?

Weapons?

 

Anyone who's been through it before - what's your advice?

Not knowing where you live, ethnicity or anything else, I would at least notify the police. This is the type of situation that lands you on the front page and in jail.

Sent from my SCH-I925 using Tapatalk 4

[Endor]

He can't keep her there against her will, she needs to call the cops herself if he is and get them to escort her out of there.

 

Definitely don't take weapons.

[dntspard]

He can't keep her there against her will, she needs to call the cops herself if he is and get them to escort her out of there.

 

Definitely don't take weapons.

 

Agreed, Taking a group there with weapons will look hostile and if things escalate you will look like the instigator. Call the Police (not 911, but the actual police department) and tell them the issue. Many police stations will have someone come out to overlook and protect, and if things escalate then you will have someone there that is trained to deal with these situations, that is equipped to deal with these, and has the law behind them.

[RandomGuy]

Law enforcement is the only way to go. It's called a "peace officer" call. They'll stand by to ensure her safety and allow her to remove her personal stuff. This doesn't include furniture and stuff they use together, no matter who owned it before they hooked up. She'll also want to get some cash into her hands prior to doing anything. Possession wins in most of these cases, so have her get what's rightly hers out of any shared bank account and have her place holds (or enhanced verification) on all her credit accounts..

 

Two cautions: She better be sure she's ready to leave before she begins to act. Having second thoughts, backing down, giving in to his promises to be a better soul mate will doom her in the end. Secondly, she needs to have a plan for her safety/health/life after she leaves. He will not let go easily and this could result in anything from pestering to financial shenanigans to violence.