Guzzi Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 One, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.Absolute class! You haven't been posting enough in here of late my friend. That one made my laugh out loud Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb? 100. One to change the lightbulb and 99 to stand around saying, "I could have done that better." Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 Police were recently called to a day care center. Seems that a 3 year old was resisting a rest. 1 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 The past, the present, and the future all walked into a bar. It was tense. Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 Four fonts walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't want your type in here!" Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 I went to a zoo the other day. They only had one exhibit, and it was a dog. I thought it was a shih tzu 4 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 Bad taste but very funny....Why did Princess Di cross the road?Coz she wasn't wearing her seatbelt 3 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 Funny none the less. Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 There are two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says: You man the guns, I'll drive! 2 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Artinum Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 What do you call a dog with no legs? Anything you like. He won't come. What do you call a gorilla with a rocket launcher? Sir. 1 Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 How do you find Will Smith in fresh snow?Look for the fresh prints 3 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Barfly Posted March 22, 2014 Report Share Posted March 22, 2014 I went to a zoo the other day. They only had one exhibit, and it was a dog. I thought it was a shih tzugroan Quote The past is only smoke in a dream. Lvl 6 Ranger Berzerker STR 9 DEX 4 STA 9 CON 8 WIS 2 CHA 8 Barfly ain't even tryin'... Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted March 22, 2014 Report Share Posted March 22, 2014 I really empathize with batteries. I'm never included in anything, either. 1 Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 24, 2014 Report Share Posted March 24, 2014 "Never was so much owed by so many to so few"Sir Fred Goodwin 1 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 24, 2014 Report Share Posted March 24, 2014 Former CEO of the Royal Bank of Scotland Group for you lot across the pond Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
AlterStephen Posted March 24, 2014 Report Share Posted March 24, 2014 Why do you never see hippos hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it. Also, why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered 6 offender. 1 Quote "First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win." —Mahatma Ghandi Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 24, 2014 Report Share Posted March 24, 2014 Why do you never see hippos hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it. That one's going into my parade routine this year. Well done! Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Fruitloopbabe Posted March 24, 2014 Report Share Posted March 24, 2014 I like it... might have to see where my fiance got my "Watch for motorcycles, they leave dents" bumper stickers made....From confused, to a snicker, to a laugh.... I like this one too.I'm considering saying the motor bike one to my family... Two of my brothers ride motorbikes and so do my parents. Could be entertainingSent from my iPad using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 24, 2014 Report Share Posted March 24, 2014 I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I don't know 3 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Hrothgar Posted March 24, 2014 Report Share Posted March 24, 2014 I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I don't knowLove that one. Quote Victory is not a destination; it's a process. Link to comment
Hrothgar Posted March 24, 2014 Report Share Posted March 24, 2014 What do you call a cow with no legs?Ground beef. 1 Quote Victory is not a destination; it's a process. Link to comment
Hrothgar Posted March 24, 2014 Report Share Posted March 24, 2014 What do you call a cow with 3 legs?Lean beef. 1 Quote Victory is not a destination; it's a process. Link to comment
Hrothgar Posted March 24, 2014 Report Share Posted March 24, 2014 What do you call a cow with 2 legs?Yo mamma!! 1 Quote Victory is not a destination; it's a process. Link to comment
Bearded_Dragon Posted March 25, 2014 Report Share Posted March 25, 2014 What do you call a cow with 2 legs?Yo mamma!! oh no you di'int! 1 Quote Link to comment
Hrothgar Posted March 25, 2014 Report Share Posted March 25, 2014 oh no you di'int!Mmmm-Hm! 2 Quote Victory is not a destination; it's a process. Link to comment
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