Guzzi Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 Because Gwyneth Paltrow's head is in the boxOk, I still don't get it. You're going to have to explain that one to me... 1 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 Did you hear about the man who had the whole left side of his body amputated?He's all right now. 2 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 If you haven't seen the Se7en, that's a HUGE spoiler, sorryRight, ok. Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Barfly Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 Ok, I still don't get it. You're going to have to explain that one to me...Thanks, I didn't want to be the one to ask Quote The past is only smoke in a dream. Lvl 6 Ranger Berzerker STR 9 DEX 4 STA 9 CON 8 WIS 2 CHA 8 Barfly ain't even tryin'... Link to comment
Juni0r83 Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 "Ok I don't want to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution" Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk 1 Quote Dwarf Warrior I am today what I made myself yesterday, I will be tomorrow what I make of myself today. Current challenge: Juni0r83 works on his Schedule-Fu Previous challenge: Juni0r83 re-evaluates and refocuses Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 I always thought alcohol was a solution. Girl don't need no science 2 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Bearded_Dragon Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 I asked my histologist friend if he could fix me a drink, so he poured a beer into some formaldehyde. 1 Quote Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 Recently, some nutty wine maker came up with a blend that is an anti-diuretic. They call it Pinot-More(you really have to say it out loud) 2 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 Why was Ten afraid of Seven? Because everyone kept telling him, "Seven Eight Nine, Ten!" 1 Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 There's a thin line between word and world Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 Why does Waldo wear stripes? He doesn't want to be spotted 1 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 Did you know that it takes 3 sheep to make one sweater?Amazing. I didn't even know they could knit. 4 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted March 28, 2014 Report Share Posted March 28, 2014 Why are there walls around graveyards?It's silly beyond any doubt.The people outside don't want to get in,And the people inside can't get out! Unless they're zombies. Then it makes perfect sense Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
insanity Posted March 28, 2014 Report Share Posted March 28, 2014 I'm considering saying the motor bike one to my family... Two of my brothers ride motorbikes and so do my parents. Could be entertainingSent from my iPad using TapatalkEither... How did it go... Or... Record the reaction... If you haven't seen the Se7en, that's a HUGE spoiler, sorryI think the statute of limitations is up on that one... Quote "Insanity - you make my world a better place man, you really do! That shit is awesome! :D" - Guzzi- My first challenge My battle Log: Insanity: Warrior Monk Honorary Ranger dubbed by DarK_RaideR, 1000 Pound club (875 of 1000) Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 An amorous couple, named Kelly,Now have to walk belly-to-bellyBecause in their hasteThey used library pasteInstead of petroleum jelly. 1 Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
insanity Posted April 4, 2014 Report Share Posted April 4, 2014 Language alert "Give it to me" She yelledI'm so fucking wet, give it to me now... She could yell all she wants, I'm keeping the umbrella 4 Quote "Insanity - you make my world a better place man, you really do! That shit is awesome! :D" - Guzzi- My first challenge My battle Log: Insanity: Warrior Monk Honorary Ranger dubbed by DarK_RaideR, 1000 Pound club (875 of 1000) Link to comment
Guzzi Posted April 4, 2014 Report Share Posted April 4, 2014 Have you read the jokes series "50 sheds of grey"? For all you fellas who just love your shed. It's hilarious. Well worth a looksie. 1 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted April 5, 2014 Report Share Posted April 5, 2014 A good excerpt...."Hurt me!" She begged as she bent over my workbench. "Alright" I replied "You've got fat ankles and no dress sense." . 3 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
insanity Posted April 5, 2014 Report Share Posted April 5, 2014 A good excerpt...."Hurt me!" She begged as she bent over my workbench."Alright" I replied "You've got fat ankles and no dress sense." .Nothing to say... other than a literal LOL... Edit: Ok... gotta focus... no more shed jokes.. gotta learn... Quote "Insanity - you make my world a better place man, you really do! That shit is awesome! :D" - Guzzi- My first challenge My battle Log: Insanity: Warrior Monk Honorary Ranger dubbed by DarK_RaideR, 1000 Pound club (875 of 1000) Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted April 5, 2014 Report Share Posted April 5, 2014 I told my doctor I wanted to stop aging. He wrote me a prescription for cyanide. 1 Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted April 5, 2014 Report Share Posted April 5, 2014 Werner Heisenberg gets pulled over by the police. The policeman tells him, "You were going 88 miles per hour!" Heisenberg says, "Great, now I'm lost." 1 Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
Not much unlike batman Posted April 5, 2014 Report Share Posted April 5, 2014 Werner Heisenberg gets pulled over by the police. The policeman tells him, "You were going 88 miles per hour!" Heisenberg says, "Great, now I'm lost." Quote Link to comment
Guzzi Posted April 6, 2014 Report Share Posted April 6, 2014 'I'm a bad girl,' she whispered, 'Punish me in a way only a real man can!' 'Alright,' I said and left my wet towels on the bathroom floor.😆😆😆 2 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
sea.bee Posted April 6, 2014 Report Share Posted April 6, 2014 Nope. I left the toilet seat up, managed to pee on the middle toilet seat, and then shaved and left all the hair in the sink Sent from my RM-824_nam_att_101 using Tapatalk 2 Quote Level 1-2ish Assassin Str: 2.2 Dex: 1.9 Sta: -0.49 Con:1.3 Wis: 2.8 Cha: 1.7 http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/43281-a-single-step/ Link to comment
Guzzi Posted April 6, 2014 Report Share Posted April 6, 2014 Nope. I left the toilet seat up, managed to pee on the middle toilet seat, and then shaved and left all the hair in the sinkYou swine! Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
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