Humilty vs. Vanity or "quit looking at your arms!"

[Gus]

We were given a new mirror for Christmas. It has afforded me new opportunities to be happy about my transformation. More than that though, my biceps are growing and are more defined... whoopie!

 

How much healthy adoration of ourselves is okay? This is our time to achieve things we haven't done before or redefine our image to our self and as well, others. The PG-13 pics are good, and the confidence booms. When heads haven't turned since you were in, I don't know, high school, when do we say: cool it, humility trumps pride every time?

 

I know this because my wife knows this.

[Raincloak]

In my religion there's actually a commandment to men, that they shouldn't spend lots of time preening and looking in the mirror like women do.  It's not that it's a bad thing to do, just a womanly thing, and therefore not appropriate behavior for men.  (Females have license to be a little more looks-oriented, as beauty was one of the few social levers available to them back in the Bronze Age...)

 

Read the story of Joseph in the book of Genesis.  He got all proud of his looks, and guess what?  A cougar tried to pounce his handsome ass, landing him in a heap of trouble.

 

That said, a little self-esteem is perfectly healthy, and you did go on this whole diet/exercise regime for this exact reward.  So I would say as long as you're not strutting around shirtless and going out of your way to make sure everybody sees how muscular/thin/sexy you are, you're probably ok.  (If you have a spouse, flirting with her/him is TOTALLY legal.)

 

But you know, the novelty of a New and Improved body will probably wear off soon.  These things do.  So, may as well admire while you can.  Just don't shove it in everybody else's face, or they'll think you are insufferable (or worse, they'll pounce your ass...)

[Gus]

We share the same beliefs, in faith I believe. I was borrowing from James when I said that about Pride and Humility, God Opposes the Proud, but Favors the Humble. I have become a little carried away. The preening and that stuff isn't mine to own. However, the delight is B.S. and I truly believe in an Old Testament God as well. I will get leveled to be sure if I even think that I'm hot stuff. The knowledge that I'm thinner and stronger has only landed me with more bruises and cuts, as of late. I was actually foolish enough to think I was adjusting to my size, weight and strength. If I have a bigger head still and try to believe I know God's plan than I can only expect to know less and poof, I'll be searching again. 

 

Novelty has about run it's course, as I know there is real progress such as being actually healthier and as well, no longer taking lipid meds. Then a little celebration will be in order.

 

Thanks for the perspective.

[Gingerdave]

It sounds more like pride in what you have accomplished.  If you had built a house you would take time to appreciate the work, in transforming your body you get the same thing.

 

As long as you aren't ogling yourself in every shiny surface I'm sure you will be fine.

[Jakob Kopfeld]

I think you can look at yourself as long as you want, but it becomes a burden once working your biceps becomes a priority in your routine

[SuperUnison]

There's nothing wrong with looking at yourself in the mirror. Indeed, if the hard work has paid off, then I think its good positive reinforcement!

Admittedly I do play guitar shirtless quite a lot, though this is more due to practicalities than vanity, stage lights are very warm and tshirts get wrecked by sweat/blood/beer! (Though I'd be lying if I didn't like the odd wolf whistle. My gf doesn't mind as she knows I only have eyes for her. )

[Vian]

I always check myself out in the mirror before I get in the shower, but only for like a few seconds while the water is warming up. I also catch myself not moving my arms when I walk because my hand is pressed against my upper thigh because I like to feel how the muscles move, because these past few months are the first time I can feel the muscles in my thighs...well....ever.

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

My wife makes fun of me for it a lot now, she always catches me flexing in the mirror. Honestly, it's positive reinforcement like said above. We always say that everyone wants to look good naked and visible progress toward that end is definitely motivation to keep at it even if its not one of your goals.

Now, checking yourself out in the mirror and strutting down the street flexing are two different things.

[Gus]

For myself, it was really telling today. I hadn't lost any real weight in some time. I think I need any positive reinforcement possible. I weighed in today and had lost 4+ pounds in the last month while adding a bunch of muscle. When I realized that this morning I made several trips in past the mirror with no gawking, and not even looking. That scale holds a bit too much power.

 

All added up I have lost 28 pounds since 4/2011 with many times going up and down with long periods of stagnation in between.

 

The cool thing is the way I feel, my body feels smaller as I walk and sit, very cool. In the meantime I also think some healthy validation is fine. I will be mindful of being a big ole dork when my wife rolls her eyes.

[andygates]

When you kiss them, or lick them, or call them pet names, you've crossed the line.  But only just...

[Timmy M]

When you kiss them, or lick them, or call them pet names, you've crossed the line.  But only just...

 

you know this from personal experience andy?

[wildross]

"The cool thing is the way I feel, my body feels smaller as I walk and sit, very cool. In the meantime I also think some healthy validation is fine. I will be mindful of being a big ole dork when my wife rolls her eyes."

 

One of the many things wives are good for...

[katpower]

I'm reminded of the scene in American Psycho, where the dude checks himself out in the mirror in coitus...

Don't be that guy. But a bit of vanity is fine.

[Kristen]

Since faith has already been mentioned, I'll add this: 

Remember where the improved health and good looks came from. We should be giving thanks, not congratulating ourselves.

 

(I struggle with this. A lot. In every area of my life. Constantly. Pride is probably my biggest challenge ever.)

 

That said, it's not at all shameful to give some attention to your looks, as long as you're not flaunting.

[Gus]

Indeed to all above. We need to give thanks for anything we can, lately I've just seen the value in just health, by the lack of it for a intimate friend of our family, who has ARDS. I'd gladly pack on ten pounds overnight for his health to be returned. Although I'm not a believer in magic. 

 

I know that all things are new with true faith. Being a competent, healthy person is part of that, and those two things are why I believe Steve is really successful with the articles and all. When we excel, I know God digs that the most, just not at the expense of others.

[alienjenn]

I often find my self putting a hand on my shoulder/forearm/bicep (whatever) and then having to feel the muscles there because I am surprised that there is something hard in there... it's new and novel and like I forget or something... so every time I randomly touch my shoulder it's like a new thing... I have *NEVER* in my life had muscles... 

 

I also find myself looking in mirrors if I pass... not because I want to stare at myself in a vanity type of way... but more because "oh what is that, who is she, what are those weird shapes on her arms, oh that's me!" kind of thing... it is such a novel and new thing that I haven't grown accustomed to it yet... 

 

it isn't like I go around preening in the mirror or something,... but it is almost as if there is some disconnect in my head with who I perceive myself to be in my mind's eye and what the mirror shows me to be... and I am having a difficult time adjusting to it.... 

 

 

I think it becomes vanity depending on WHY you are looking in the mirror... are you looking because you want to see yourself looking good? or are you looking because you know that your body is a temple and you are amazed at it's workmanship and ability to adapt?

[Waldo]

It does need to me said though that flexing does/can play an important role in progression eventually on more complex exercises.

 

A lot of people will find they don't have a great mind-muscle connection with some muscles in some movements.  Practivation (doing an easy isolation exercise to "turn on" a muscle) is a common techinque, flexing is a means of working this mind-muscle connction.

 

Obviously the biceps aren't a big factor here, but I bet a good % of people could benefit a lot from periodically flexing their lats; the lats tend to be a muscle group that people have poor mental control over (quite a few non-lifters in fact cannot even flex their lats, they don't know how).  Getting a strong connection with your lats can be hugely useful.

 

Learning to flex your butt at the same time as your abs (in order to hold a stiff straight body) is another place where most will need practice, simultaneously flexing them is not easy at first.  In the mirror this will give you the best looking abs as well (you can do a hard flex without bending over).

[rybo]

THis has always been an odd topic for me. I was a skinny little kid, and for as long as I can remember I've always run around shirtless as long as the weather was even half way decent. In college I started pounding the weights and put on some good size, I was pretty stacked if I do say so. BUT I then developed this self conscious attitude about always being shirtless and feeling like I was showing off. Which was FAR from the case. Now that I am older, I still am quite lean, but no where near as built so I have less an issue about being shirtless these days.

[KillerGriller]

It does need to me said though that flexing does/can play an important role in progression eventually on more complex exercises.

 

A lot of people will find they don't have a great mind-muscle connection with some muscles in some movements.  Practivation (doing an easy isolation exercise to "turn on" a muscle) is a common techinque, flexing is a means of working this mind-muscle connction.

 

Obviously the biceps aren't a big factor here, but I bet a good % of people could benefit a lot from periodically flexing their lats; the lats tend to be a muscle group that people have poor mental control over (quite a few non-lifters in fact cannot even flex their lats, they don't know how).  Getting a strong connection with your lats can be hugely useful.

 

Learning to flex your butt at the same time as your abs (in order to hold a stiff straight body) is another place where most will need practice, simultaneously flexing them is not easy at first.  In the mirror this will give you the best looking abs as well (you can do a hard flex without bending over).

Funny, I always had trouble flexing my left arm, using for activity seemed fine but being able to flex it was awful.  Using a mirror has helped me acuate it and balance out my effort (i.e.- working from both sides when lifting or playing)

[Jcannon98188]

When you kiss them, or lick them, or call them pet names, you've crossed the line.  But only just...

I'm a skinny little nothing and I do this..... I need help

[WizardTrip]

...I also catch myself not moving my arms when I walk because my hand is pressed against my upper thigh because I like to feel how the muscles move, because these past few months are the first time I can feel the muscles in my thighs...well....ever.

Ha! Glad I'm not the only one!

[Guest Snake McClain]

I look in the mirror pre shower. What is too much? I dont know. Probably what i do already. Im always looking at myself wondering if i look good naked. Do i look too fat around the stomach. Pecs too small? Traps are nice though...these things cross my mind constantly. Partially because of pro wrestling and my need to be shirtless in front of strangers i need to be slightly more aware than others. I also have mental hang ups about body issues and i worry about those. I spend maybe thirty seconds a day doing this.

Also i flex like the wrestler sting all the time. Just to pump up a bit.

[chairohkey]

I be mirror mirin daily. Kinda hard to not do when you're rockin 18.5" fatceps. 

[sumdawgtwigg]

It's def ok to proud of what you accomplished

[Gus]

I be mirror mirin daily. Kinda hard to not do when you're rockin 18.5" fatceps. 

 

Freakin' Hilarious and Awesome, I was happy with my .25 inch growth in a month. I'm 5'9"... Please tell me your rockin out to oh I don't know... 6'4"???