Frack you, Depression.

[SimplyTsundere]

I seriously hate waking up in the morning depressed. It sets a completely terrible mood for the rest of the day. I'm not even really sure why I am.

 

Lately, I've been trying to dress and act more feminine (which femininity is in the eye of the holder) to please my boyfriend. This is difficult 1) because we're in a long distance relationship so we don't see each other every day thus he can't see my progress 2) I love dresses and I want to dress more feminine but I'm too obsessed with "saving" money to try and help others so I never get things for myself. It's not like I'm doing this just for him, this is something that has plagued me for forever. This past week I've been doing awesome and all my coworkers have complimented me on my progress but I really wish he could see it too. I feel like there's no point of caring about my appearance only when he's here; I actually have to give a fuck when he's not around too.

 

Anywho, that's just a mini rant. I'm just...depressed. I'm getting into my head and it's fucking with me hardcore. I'm getting run over by the self-image demon that I was having a good time keeping under wraps. Mix that in with a few other things in life and bam...sad panda for me.

[Morrigainz]

*hugs* Depression sucks for sure. Try to do some self-care stuff today...do something that is good for YOU and that makes YOU happy...not your boyfriend, not your coworkers, not anyone else.

 

For me, a good workout does a lot to beat the blues.

 

Hang in there...this too shall pass.

[ColbyWan]

Screw just a hug, you get a ~giant bear hug~!

 

I've struggled with depression for about 4 years now. It can truly suck.

 

As MirGSS said, find something to do for yourself. I found the one thing that keeps me going and sane is having a countdown to when I can get a cat (approximately 450 days). Like I have a goal to work towards that I want, a reason to keep going. The next thing I do is every day when I wake up, I tell myself a story, anything, I get myself in the mood of just imagining the possibilies. I might tell myself a story about dragons, or say that I'm going to invent working holograms, or w/e. And then, at some point in the day, I take time to focus on some small thing I like. I might just sit and listen to a song I really enjoy, I might indulge on one (or two or three) thin mints, or a cup of hot chocolate, and just really contemplate the joy I get out of that small thing.

 

The key is just one step at a time, not to give yourself time to focus on what you haven't gotten done or what is going wrong. Just baby steps.

[JessOfAllTrades]

One of my facebook friends posted this yesterday. I shared it immediately despite having not been open about my depression to the general public. I hope it helps.

 

http://www.diycouturier.com/post/47249603128/21-tips-to-keep-your-shit-together-when-youre

[stevembk]

You should be happy about your progress for yourself, not just for other people. All their compliments are just a bonus. If you want to look more feminine, do it for yourself as a lifestyle change. You come before anyone else.

 

Think about making as much progress as you can in between the times you see him. I'd think it would be better to see small leaps of improvements over a steady change. Its more dramatic that way. Wake up looking forward to what you are going to do that day to make yourself better for the next visit.

[SimplyTsundere]

*hugs* Depression sucks for sure. Try to do some self-care stuff today...do something that is good for YOU and that makes YOU happy...not your boyfriend, not your coworkers, not anyone else.

 

For me, a good workout does a lot to beat the blues.

 

Hang in there...this too shall pass.

 

Doing something for me is a good idea. I REALLY wanna dye my hair. Like. Right now, lol. But I currently have this weave in my hair that's stopping me. Le sigh. I dunno. I'll figure something out.

 

Screw just a hug, you get a ~giant bear hug~!

 

I've struggled with depression for about 4 years now. It can truly suck.

 

As MirGSS said, find something to do for yourself. I found the one thing that keeps me going and sane is having a countdown to when I can get a cat (approximately 450 days). Like I have a goal to work towards that I want, a reason to keep going. The next thing I do is every day when I wake up, I tell myself a story, anything, I get myself in the mood of just imagining the possibilies. I might tell myself a story about dragons, or say that I'm going to invent working holograms, or w/e. And then, at some point in the day, I take time to focus on some small thing I like. I might just sit and listen to a song I really enjoy, I might indulge on one (or two or three) thin mints, or a cup of hot chocolate, and just really contemplate the joy I get out of that small thing.

 

The key is just one step at a time, not to give yourself time to focus on what you haven't gotten done or what is going wrong. Just baby steps.

 

I think I'll have to do something like that. I've been staring at dresses and shoes all day trying to figure out what I want to buy. I'm being pretty adamant about staying under $50 so it's been difficult but I'll make the decision without anyone else's input. Picked it all all cause I liked it and I wanted it. Luckily, the day has been getting better. Like you said, one step at a time.

 

One of my facebook friends posted this yesterday. I shared it immediately despite having not been open about my depression to the general public. I hope it helps.

 

http://www.diycouturier.com/post/47249603128/21-tips-to-keep-your-shit-together-when-youre

 

Thanks a lot for that article. It's something I needed to read for myself as well as someone else I know that suffers with depression. I think it's an article he and I both can benefit from.

 

You should be happy about your progress for yourself, not just for other people. All their compliments are just a bonus. If you want to look more feminine, do it for yourself as a lifestyle change. You come before anyone else.

 

Think about making as much progress as you can in between the times you see him. I'd think it would be better to see small leaps of improvements over a steady change. Its more dramatic that way. Wake up looking forward to what you are going to do that day to make yourself better for the next visit.

 

I am happy about the progress. I felt great the other day but today...just wasn't feeling it. Even with wearing my new favorite skirt. I'm making progress, this I know. I told him I have to do it on a daily, just not when he's here cause that's not fair to either of us. I just have the most DIFFICULT time putting myself first in the grand scheme of things.

[The Mouse]

Surprise Hug!
 

I hope you feel better soon.

I'm not sure if I have much advice, but I do want to urge you to dress feminine and feel feminine for your sake. I used to want to be feminine for my boyfriend, but I realize that the pressure to be feminine when I didn't feel it made me miserable with him and myself. When I decided just to be feminine because I wanted it, I felt better and I looked better and it turned out he liked it better. If you want to be feminine, go for it! But do it for yourself - you're the lady, you get the benefits of femininity, not your boyfriend. He gets to enjoy knowing that his lady is class all her own. 

 

As for funding for fancy dresses, maybe you could set aside an account for yourself as well? Consider it a part of your money that will go to helping others - you help them best when you're at your best. If buying and wearing dresses makes you happy, then it's a good investment. You being happy will make helping other people easier.

 

At least that's what I think. I hope it helps, and big hugs!

[FyreFlies]

Aww, I hope you feel better soon. Where do you live? Let's go shopping! =D

 

Go out with your friends for a coffee or something else? Dance a little. Just do what YOU like to do, like everyone else has said. Everyone else isn't living in your mind, only you are.

 

Take care of yourself my dear.

[SimplyTsundere]

Surprise Hug!

 

I hope you feel better soon.

I'm not sure if I have much advice, but I do want to urge you to dress feminine and feel feminine for your sake. I used to want to be feminine for my boyfriend, but I realize that the pressure to be feminine when I didn't feel it made me miserable with him and myself. When I decided just to be feminine because I wanted it, I felt better and I looked better and it turned out he liked it better. If you want to be feminine, go for it! But do it for yourself - you're the lady, you get the benefits of femininity, not your boyfriend. He gets to enjoy knowing that his lady is class all her own. 

 

As for funding for fancy dresses, maybe you could set aside an account for yourself as well? Consider it a part of your money that will go to helping others - you help them best when you're at your best. If buying and wearing dresses makes you happy, then it's a good investment. You being happy will make helping other people easier.

 

At least that's what I think. I hope it helps, and big hugs!

 

It's nice to talk to someone that's been in a similar boat. It just really sucks. It's been a problem in damn near all of my relationships but this is the first time I've put forth some real ummpth in changing. It takes forever. And ever. And three quarters. I know I won't ever be super girly, he knows and accepts that too, but I've also known for a while I have to take better care of how I look and carry myself. I'm not a slob by no means but I don't have enough fucks to give. When you work behind a computer all day with a place full of tech geeks, why bother? That's the wrong mentality to have. I should care because I'm a reflection of myself. And it's an added perk if it makes him wanna jump my bones.

 

Aww, I hope you feel better soon. Where do you live? Let's go shopping! =D

 

Go out with your friends for a coffee or something else? Dance a little. Just do what YOU like to do, like everyone else has said. Everyone else isn't living in your mind, only you are.

 

Take care of yourself my dear.

 

Gah! If you live in Maryland, yes, LETS! I need more lady friends here to go shopping with. I just hang with a ton of guys and it's just no fun going shopping with them. Well, it isn't except with one person. Oh well. I think I'll go home and take a nap. That's doing something I want to do. I'd love to go outside and enjoy the day but I'm kinda stuck at work. Sigh.

[The Mouse]

I know for me one of the biggest reinforcements for my femininity is when I sheepishly tried on this tight-fitting black dress I was considering wearing to one of his cousin's weddings - I slipped into it and didn't even get a chance to zip it up before he was up off the couch running his hands up and down me. It was a nice surprise.

 

And you're absolutely right! It is a reflection of yourself. You deserve it - and it's kinda like "fake it till you make it". If you dress and act more feminine and confident, you'll find yourself really starting to live it. Switch on that 20 second beast mode into femininity!

 

I find my power lies in my femininity and a bit of sexuality. I love the idea of being able to stand in front of a room of guys and captivate them - they won't (and can't, cause another definition of my power comes from being able to very powerfully physically defend myself) touch, but they can certainly look and respect. My femininity and sensuality are important parts of myself and I find it powerful to be able to turn on the charm or turn on the deadly. Heck, I'm by no means a slim super model (working my way to a tight, toned body, though), but I think any woman, regardless of size or age, has that ability. 

[SimplyTsundere]

You and I shall be long distance friends. You shall be my mentor. Accept it *nod*

[The Mouse]

XD

 

I dunno if I'm qualified enough to be a mentor - but we can be super badass valkyrie amazonian women together. >w<

[SimplyTsundere]

I can work with that too = D

[JessOfAllTrades]

I am a lady who lives in Maryland. I'm also trying to learn how to dress more like an adult (and go a bit more feminine as well). I'm always down for shopping buddies, though I hate spending money (which it sounds like you relate).

[SimplyTsundere]

Hurray! I do indeed hate spending money. Just got really angry with myself for being, what I feel is overcharged, to get all my nails and stuff done. Freaking A. Especially since I'm trying to buy a house too. Just shoot me.

[Archbishop]

I am far from suffering from chronic depression, but I have to deal with it sometimes. I know the few things that always manage to help me are just having people around that I actually like, and forcing myself to accomplish things. For me at least, a large part of depression is intense loneliness, a sense that there's no one around even if the room is full of people. Just forcing myself to get up, get something done, and be around people--all things I really want to avoid at all costs when I'm depressed--starts to get me to a point of functionality again.

 

The most helpful thing though has been my wife not trying to happy me out of it, which is what almost everyone else always did. We've been figuring out how much that just doesn't work, and has a terrible tendency to make it worse.

 

TLDR; you're not alone, keep pushing ahead.

[ColbyWan]

As a guy, I don't feel qualified to start this. But can we get a fashion thread going? Guys need to start focusing on how they dress as well. I know this is weird, but as a guy who lives in Maryland half the time. I can do your nails, just ask Jofalltrades.

[Guest asdf]

Monty Python's Life of Brian ending scene single handedly helped bring me out of depression during high school after being uprooted after 9th grade to move to a new state and go to a new school. It has also helped many friends of mine who are feeling down in the dumps. I lost count the number of times I listened to this song during the first two years after moving, and I swear this song has magical powers. Take the lyrics to heart and things will start to look up. It won't make all your problems just go away, that comes from inner strength, but it will at least put a smile on your face which is a big and vital step in the right direction.

[Timmy M]

i'll give the same advise i gave to another thread about depression

and get yourself some

 

it's not monty python but it makes me happy

 

this too:

[JessOfAllTrades]

As a guy, I don't feel qualified to start this. But can we get a fashion thread going? Guys need to start focusing on how they dress as well. I know this is weird, but as a guy who lives in Maryland half the time. I can do your nails, just ask Jofalltrades.

So does that mean you're coming back here soon?

 

And the ladies tend to have some fashion threads under the Women Only board. 

[This is Seth]

Is someone bringing back the "Sartorial Meatheads" thread?

[thegingerdances]

Hurray! I do indeed hate spending money. Just got really angry with myself for being, what I feel is overcharged, to get all my nails and stuff done. Freaking A. Especially since I'm trying to buy a house too. Just shoot me.

Find a thrift store!  Thrifting may be an investment in time, but you can find really nice clothes in good condition for dirt cheap.  A lot of my friends go thrifting in the fall (mostly for grandpa sweaters that look adorable) and in the spring.  Even if you don't find anything, you can look through piles of the goofiest hats and scarves for a laugh.  Knowing how to sew a button is a useful skill to add to thrifting, though.  

[sumdawgtwigg]

Depression does indeed suck. Hope you're feeling better soon! 

[SimplyTsundere]

Monty Python's Life of Brian ending scene single handedly helped bring me out of depression during high school after being uprooted after 9th grade to move to a new state and go to a new school. It has also helped many friends of mine who are feeling down in the dumps. I lost count the number of times I listened to this song during the first two years after moving, and I swear this song has magical powers. Take the lyrics to heart and things will start to look up. It won't make all your problems just go away, that comes from inner strength, but it will at least put a smile on your face which is a big and vital step in the right direction.

 

Thanks a lot. I have to admit, I did giggle a bit watching it but that only intensifies the meaning behind it. At least I'm not being crucified. Things will get better, and I know they will. Appreciate you sharing = )

 

i'll give the same advise i gave to another thread about depression

and get yourself some

 

it's not monty python but it makes me happy

 

this too:

 

Thanks for the song! I do really like it = )

 

So does that mean you're coming back here soon?

 

And the ladies tend to have some fashion threads under the Women Only board. 

 

If she speaks highly of you, I may have to enlist you!

[SimplyTsundere]

Find a thrift store!  Thrifting may be an investment in time, but you can find really nice clothes in good condition for dirt cheap.  A lot of my friends go thrifting in the fall (mostly for grandpa sweaters that look adorable) and in the spring.  Even if you don't find anything, you can look through piles of the goofiest hats and scarves for a laugh.  Knowing how to sew a button is a useful skill to add to thrifting, though.  

 

Everyone mentions thift stores but they overwhelm me! Even Burlington Coat Factory, TJ Maxx, and other stores like those with just tons of stuff really bog me down. But, it's always worth a look one day. Thanks for the advice!

 

Depression does indeed suck. Hope you're feeling better soon! 

 

Thanks! It's on again off again so...I take it one day at a time.