Driving: One Life Goal Woot!

[Phytomancer]

If you wonder how such an easy thing like driving can be a woot, I can explain. I was afraid of driving until now. 

 

I grew up in a country where a driving age was 18. What did I do when I was 18? I moved to a different country.

I learned how to drive and got my national license, but I never used them.

 

My conservative dad asked me to promise him not to borrow anyone's car. He never approves the idea of me driving anywhere without his sight. His reason? I will drive around, drink and drive, take girls out, play with women, and flunk school. He wants me to graduate first.

 

Where am I in school now? PhD. Still the same request. GRADUATE FIRST. Now, I don't want to rely on my bike until I'm 30. 

 

He never took me driving, but he keeps saying that I don't know well enough. I am going to crash in a foreign land. It's dangerous. It's scary. It's understandable, although, his boss's daughter was killed in a car accident before her wedding night. My dad, for some reason, is afraid that similar thing will happen to me.

 

So whenever I tried to practice driving, using the international license my mom got me after the last argument with my dad. All those worries he says became mine. I kept thinking... what if I crash? What if I kill someone? What if... I never saw my parents again, or never really love someone romantically? 

 

I spent a lot of money relearning driving. ($50 an hour-- for a grad student income, it's not easy.) But I could never drive alone. Every time, behind the wheel, I'd feel like I'd throw up. My heart raced, and I wanted to smash something. It took me a lot of breathing each time. I avoid it even if it was my life goal!! 

 

Until I had no choice. My research requires driving for data collection, and nobody could drive. So last Monday, I shut up about my fear of driving and volunteered my research team to drive them 150 mile from my college to Chicago, all around, and back.

 

Nobody knew how scared I was until they saw my face all screwed up behind the wheel, but it was too late. The paperwork was done, and there was no way out. I already peeled the bright red Ford Focus off the curb without releasing the parking break.

 

 

 

For all this long story, I just want to tell you that I took the team all over Chicago-- through highways and expressways and airports, and downtown during rush hours, did the research.we need, and delivered them home safely this afternoon (though a little traumatized.)

 

And my fear of driving was diminished.  .

 

I am very happy. Exhausted, mostly, but happy. I feel like a heavy mountain was lifted off my chest. It feels... normal to be able to drive.

 

So there shall be a woot.

 

Thank you for reading me rant.

 

PS. I don't blame my dad. He loves his sons, and he wants to protect me from harm even though we are 7,000 miles apart and even when I am practically older than my mother when she married him. I wonder if he has this kind of fear in his mind everyday after the daugther of his boss-best friend died-- that he might eventually kill his wife and his children any time he drives... If that is what he thinks, yet he still drive us around for a long time, my father is a very brave man.   

[redwoodfog]

Congratulations!!! And talk about exposure therapy! Super super awesome.

[MsFitz]

Congratulations in conquering your fears!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk. Excuse any short replies, please.

[Kaylya]

Congrats!

 

One thing you should know: If you're living somewhere for more than about 6 months, you usually need a local license (which may or may not require you to do some tests locally). The International license is just a translation for travelers.

[wildross]

Congrats!  Facing a fear like that is tough.  Glad you were able to wrestle it to the ground and make it tap out.

[Silo]

Wow, congratulations! That is a really big accomplishment. Being thrown into the fire like that (or volunteering to throw yourself into it) sometimes is the best way to learn a new skill. Good for you for doing it!