Lend me a hand, fellow travellers. 9 Months to chisel this blank slate.

[McFlake]

Mára arin, forum fitness gurus, adventurers and all others who roam or lurk in these parts.
Happy new year as well.

The following paragraphs will detail, in an overly dramatic, sometimes almost theatrical fashion, my motivations and reasoning (read: gibberish) behind wanting to grow fitter/stronger in body and in spirit – somewhat hoping that you can (and are willing to) aid me in my journey. An introduction, if you will, yet a cry for assistance as well. Note that for all that find this sort of tripe rather teasing, you will find a TL;DR on the very bottom. I'd hyperlink it, but I can't seem to bbcode an anchor.

Paragraphs relating to diet have a green X at the beginning, unnecessary information about my person is indicated in blue. Stuff that actually matters and is related to fitness is marked by a red X.

[X] I am a male in my early to mid twenties. Short of stature (~5 foot 6), slender of figure. Slender enough to have that little groove on my belly if I flex that is so very coveted by some who can’t lose that final pound there. Slender enough to make some very fit looking young ladies envy my stature. Slender enou-

You get the picture. I’m a skinny little twerp is what I am.

[X] I am currently pursuing what I believe to be the equivalent of a double major in the united states (essentially attending two universities/colleges at the same time to end up with two degrees), which is strenuous, yet not fulfilling (Probably some sort of deeply rooted issue relating to my height, childhood and Siegmund Freud). As I cherish my independence somewhat, I also work 1-2 jobs at the same time, yet there are not enough hours in the day to elevate my living situation to one of luxury (The few hours I have to myself are a luxury in and of itself).

[X] As such, most of my money is spent on rent, food (see paragraph below) and the occasional book.
Speaking of culinary delights – I enjoy cooking more than most. It is an expression of creativity to me, to sauté what none have dared to sauté before, especially not in that particular combination – and what is that lemon grass doing in there anyway?

[X] My diet could be considered overly healthy. No alcohol, aside from the obligatory Mojito, which I have on every last Sunday of every month. No smoking. No junk food. No crisps. No chocolate. Tea, rather than soda. Not because I avoid all these on purpose – they just happen to be rather unappealing to me (Sugar cravings, which have been pointed out to me before, are non-existent to me). My worst guilty pleasure (fasten your seatbelts) might be a bowl of fresh muesli with a tablespoon of Greek yoghurt and 1/8tsp of ground up vanilla.

[X] I enjoy fresh fruit, spicy hummus, legumes in all shapes and forms – and a bowl of rice porridge with a splash of low-sodium soy sauce and some green onions for breakfast every day (overnight slow cooking be praised). As such, my calorie intake is rather low – though that is easily remedied. I don’t really go in for meat – don’t ask; Suffice to say, it isn’t because I am under the impression that eating meat is akin to sacrificing small children (for the glory of satan!) or murder of any sort. I just do fine without it. Dinner is usually Mediterranean (wheat pasta, dark bread and cheese, tons of olive oil) or Asian (All sorts of curries, coconut soup, seitan).

[X] Due to my incredible skinniness but healthy diet, I am somewhat of a blank slate. There is no weight that I have to lose. I am flexible, and can maintain my balance, because I practice yoga every so often. My legs are quite decent – My endurance isn’t horrible, but not great either. Upper body is the main issue. Why? Because I lack time, instruments and, of course, I keep making up excuses. I enjoy cardio (speedroping) more than I do weighted training (which, on a diet with few calories and basically no fat left is a futile effort). My tolerance for pain is abysmal, though for some reason I can take my daily ice-cold shower just fine (Only way to kickstart me in the morning).

[X] I have made a space, to work in. I have 120 minutes, every day, henceforth – for the next 9 months. Why that particular deadline? Because then I will take up another job, or education, that will constrain me even more, time wise. Anything beyond maintaining the status quo will be impossible for about 18 months after that point. So I have to start building. Clock’s ticking. Now!

[X] Constraints: I cannot go to a gym (Not that, according to your page, you go in much for machines). I am always low on cash – as such, I will only be able to purchase a subscription in the near future (2 months) if I start saving up now. I will have to work with body weight mostly. I have a mat, something that can be used as push up bars, a yoga mat and an ab wheel. I have no way to do pull ups (Doors are too narrow, can’t affix it to a wall or ceiling, don’t have resistance bands). If there is no other way whatsoever, I may be able to get some free weights. Nothing to bench press though. I can easily adjust my diet to include a ton of good proteins. Would prefer to go without substitutes, but I can somehow squeeze a home made recovery drink in I reckon.

Goals:

• Priority 1:

Shoulders and chest – I gotta work on those. It’s like looking at a plank with a twig bolted to it on either side.

• Priority 2:

Triceps and back – I do not require a biceps the size of a boulder. But I need more than half a tennis ball on my arm. But whenever I try to do any sort of static exercise, or anything else concerning my triceps, I can barely start off.

• Priority 3:

Definition - Having built up the two groups above, make certain everything is firm.

So what do I need? I need a plan, a schedule.Something I can work from. Something where I can slowly increase reps or add exercises to build up strength, growing over the next 270 days.

(This isn’t a new year’s resolution – the date is a complete coincidence.)

If all of this goes according to plan, I'll detail my journey and share my experiences, the mistakes I made along the way etc. - no doubt others may benefit from it.

TL;DR
Super skinny. Healthy diet. 9 months time, up to two hours a day. No gym. Body weight training preferred. Wimp. Priorities: Arms, back, chest, shoulders. Need a plan to start with.

[sylph]

Welcome to the Rebellion.

 

Have you looked into the beginners body weight workout from the main site? It's a good place to start and evaluate where you stand. Otherwise, there are a bunch of other bodyweight based programs that you can look into here and elsewhere. 

 

As for lack of pull ups--you'll need something to build your back. Developing your pecs and neglecting your back is a great way to set yourself up for muscle imbalances that lead to poor posture and shoulder issues. Can you do inverted rows on the underside of a table? Or find... something to use as a weight (milk jug, bag with cans in it, whatever) to do one arm rows. Or monkey bars at a playground?

 

To get away from super-skinny, you'll have to eat more. You can't build a brick wall without bricks, eh? This means weight gain, which it sounds like you're probably okay with. A couple ways to go about this: find a calculator to get your daily caloric needs and track calories (ensuring you get 500 extra calories/day comes out to 1 lb/week of weight gain, though it's not linear). Or, start eating more and track your bodyweight over a period of a couple months and see whether you're gaining. Not gaining? eat more. Gaining too fast? eat a little less.

 

I'm sure you'll get a bunch of other advice from other rebels. It's easy to over-analyze. Just remember: It's more important to get started do SOMETHING than to wait for the the EXACTLY PERFECT ONE RIGHT THING and meanwhile do nothing.

 

Good luck.

[BlackTezca]

I don't have a gym membership either; all my works out I do at home, mostly body weight.  It takes some creativity at times, but there are a lot of works out here and other places that have body weight focused exercises to help build up strength (The Beginners Body Weight Workout, FitnessBlender which is mostly videos, and awesome superhero workout sheets from NeilARey).  For diet, you could try looking at apps that take your physical profile and what your goals are to caculate your daily caloric needs and macronutrients (MyfitnessPal does this and while I don't consider super accurate, it could point be used as a reference).

 

Slyph has great advice: just get started somewhere and you'll build up those habits and get where you want to be.  Good luck and welcome to NerdFitness!