Got abducted by goblins and nearly stepped on by giants

[Emmi]

I don't know how long exactly it's been since I was on here, but it's been so long that I've missed the moment the site got changed. It looks really cool!

 

Oh yeah - this is my second time respawning. During the first time I got captured by goblins so I was unable to be active here.

 

So I'm an interesting mess. 

 

I'm currently in college studying cultural anthropology, while struggling with a severe fear of failure, anxiety and some heavy emotional luggage from my home base. I see the people who are dearest to me suffer. This is not because of me, but because of the curse that's been put upon them. On top of that I'm afraid to feel, so I put away many feelings, sleep awfully, feel angry at the world a lot of the time and can't focus very well either. The world feels heavy on my shoulders.

 

It also was my birthday two weeks ago and I got Steve's Level Up Your Life as a gift. I've been reading it daily since I got it while I'm on my mother ship and I'm still slowly but steadily building my character and setting up my Epic Quest. Meanwhile, I try to do things I like when I'm not studying (like busting my ass at the gym (with VERY LOUD MUSIC in my ears so I get distracted from the giants walking around there), read books, watch movies and tv-shows or cooking).

 

Now, why exactly did I come back here?

 

Easy: even though I travel within this Country of Giants frequently and visit interesting places, I often feel misunderstood and alone in my dreams and quests. When I tell people about my dreams and potential plans, I either get a skeptical "that's ambitious" or a "be realistic - do you really think that's possible within the current society?" or even a "yeah, I remember when I felt like that. Then I grew up. You'll get there at some point, you'll see what it's all really like." Even though there are a few bright stars left, many people in this country have gone to the dark side.

 

You guys aren't like that. You are adventurers, superheroes (or superheroes in the making), jedi's. You guys inspired me already when I registered and you continue to inspire me. You remind me that I'm not alone and that it's more than okay to have Epic Quests and to cross off things from there. I'm here because I want to engage with you guys more and share my quests with people and fairies and wizards who will not tell me I'm crazy. I want to take active steps to get strong enough physically to lift the heavy world from my shoulders, and mentally to be able to process all pain and anxiety I feel.

 

So I'm back.

 

Not sure exactly how often I'll be here, not sure how often I have the courage to say something somewhere, but I want to be here, and that's enough for me to actually come here.

 

As I'm still building my Epic Quest and am writing my story, I will keep that to myself for now. I'll put a link in my signature below once I feel comfortable enough to share it.

 

I'll see you guys soon, and you'll see me soon 

[Noname123]

What are your dreams that everyone keeps shooting down?

[Emmi]

Wanting to start my own little shop with my own, handmade and fair clothes. Open a cafe with a small stage and fresh, local, organic meals (both of these things were before the hype to eat organic food and wear fair clothing started, so before shops like these appeared at every corner of the street). I once wanted to start a blog about chocolate and make a dish with chocolate every week and write about chocolate in general. Learn to be really good at poi (still a dream and also a work in progress), sing and make music on a stage for people to enjoy for free, make my own organic and harmful-chemical-free cleaning products (for in the house and also for my skin), have my own vegetable garden, make the world a better place with my (yet to be discovered) superpowers...

 

That last thing is my own choice of words, I've had several different dreams that all came down to making the world better. I'm currently feeling lost in this one, but I still feel I have big things to offer. It's also this where most people tell me I have to grow up because I can't do it alone, the world is too big, the world is already lost, we'll all die anyway...

[Talos]

You seem like a cool person. Ergo, following.

 

Count me in for encouragement whenever needed!

[Talos]

On 3/24/2016 at 3:03 PM, Emmi said:

I once wanted to start a blog about chocolate and make a dish with chocolate every week and write about chocolate in general.

 

Just reading those goals: what's stopping you from starting a blog like this now? Like, today? Or this week?

If this means a lot to you (and would be fun!) it would be a perfect way to crush one of your first life quests!

[Emmi]

On 3/26/2016 at 4:11 PM, Talos said:

Just reading those goals: what's stopping you from starting a blog like this now? Like, today? Or this week?

If this means a lot to you (and would be fun!) it would be a perfect way to crush one of your first life quests!

 

That's true! I feel confident enough to start such a blog now, to give an example, unfortunately I'm not sure if I currently have the time for it. Yes, it's the age-old "I don't have time" excuse, college is taking up a whole lot of my time. 

 

That doesn't mean I'm not doing anything! I've started implementing a few new habits in my life during the past few weeks. I'm currently meditating 15 minutes a day, and it's something I really need to remind myself of doing, so it's not fully part of my daily routine yet.

I'm also meal-prepping my lunch for an entire week (to slight annoyance of my flat mate: "Come look at the fridge. You see what I see? THERE IS NO SPACE BECAUSE ALL OF YOUR LUNCH IS EVERYWHERE"), trying a new recipe almost every week

Then there are two bigger things I'm working on: spend four hours on studying every day besides college courses, and go to the gym four times a week. These are challenging for me since I have a very irregular schedule and I'm also very dependent on my health (it fluctuates a lot).

 

For now, I'm going to stick with these  Actually some of these are on my quest list too! I have to admit I forgot they were on there... 

 

Thank you, by the way, for your uplifting reply! 

[BarbarianBassBro]

This is what most people will sadly never understand or try. They just wanna sit in their little comfortable dark holes and stay negative. EVERYBODY can be successfull and make dreams come true, just do it!

Go and use a pickup line at someone that´s "way out of your league", you´ll be surprised.

Be brave and do something that´s impossible to others. Didn´t we f.e. say some hundred years ago it´s impossible for humans to fly or go into space? Why stopping at your personal borders?

[Emmi]

On 4/3/2016 at 9:40 AM, BarbarianBassBro said:

This is what most people will sadly never understand or try. They just wanna sit in their little comfortable dark holes and stay negative. EVERYBODY can be successfull and make dreams come true, just do it!

 

YES! This is so accurate! It's so easy to be negative all the time and to stay where you are, it's also so easy to put it on others. "If I can't do it, you can't do it. My truth is the one and only truth, I refuse to recognize there are other people with other visions and other dreams and goals!"

 

Not getting dragged into people's negativity is a challenge in itself completely..... 

 

As for my own comfort zone: I know that I'm not standing right in the middle, but I don't think I'm completely out of my comfortzone just yet. I'm taking baby steps and stepping out of it with one foot sometimes already. I'm actually not sure what it will take to get me out of my comfortzone completely, that would be an interesting thing to find out.

[BarbarianBassBro]

1 minute ago, Emmi said:

 

YES! This is so accurate! It's so easy to be negative all the time and to stay where you are, it's also so easy to put it on others. "If I can't do it, you can't do it. My truth is the one and only truth, I refuse to recognize there are other people with other visions and other dreams and goals!"

 

Not getting dragged into people's negativity is a challenge in itself completely..... 

 

As for my own comfort zone: I know that I'm not standing right in the middle, but I don't think I'm completely out of my comfortzone just yet. I'm taking baby steps and stepping out of it with one foot sometimes already. I'm actually not sure what it will take to get me out of my comfortzone completely, that would be an interesting thing to find out.

Pretty good summary too.

Better babysteps than None. And you´ll never be out of your comfortzone completely because it adapts to your fears  You´ll always be challenged by something, but the way is the Goal, isn´t it?