Getting Over Old Stuff

[ImACoolNerd]

Hello-

I just found this website today.

The past 2 years or so I have been recovering from a really bad long term illness that had me on bed rest for 6+ months!!

 

And that is like... really bad for you. You lose everything!

 

So after a lot of physical therapy and chiropractors, etc. etc. I feel like I'm finally at a "normal" point.

 

Physically I can see my #s and compare them to where I was before I got sick - and on paper I am better than I was before (and I was a pretty athletic person) But mentally I am really struggling.

 

But now I want to get into great shape - so badly.

 

My problem is I have had so many people tell me why I would never recover - "too old" - "your muscles are broken now" - "you can't build new muscle at your advanced age" - "too late for you" - "you just are not that kind of person" - "you're not a fit person you're a smart person - you can't be both" - "you're so hopeless you shouldn't even try to do Pilates" and on and on...

 

Which made my recovery process extra stressful and extra scary. I believed them. (By the way I'm only in my 20s.)

 

This belief paralyzed me so much  - probably because my body felt SO bad - so weak, tired, stiff, I literally felt old! And when your body feels SO BAD I guess it just made it all so easy to believe. It felt true. It felt real.

 

I am so scared before and during my workouts. I'm afraid that this is the best I can do and that it is impossible for me to improve. What if they're right? What if I'm broken?

This week I realized that it is not just this new stuff that is filling my head - it is also old stuff too. As a kid I was always the "weak" girl. I remember even my mom telling me as a child that is was ok that I wasn't strong - that I could find something else to be good at. My gymnastics coaches taught us that some people were just good and some people just weren't and couldn't be helped. Guess which one I was. (rather than you need to get stronger and this is how to do that - or your technique is wrong, etc.) Why did I even bother to keep going? I was also the "chubby kid" always - all through out my life.

 

And I learned this identity and have been carrying it with me all these years. The truth is that I can't picture myself improving past where I am now. But I'm questioning all of this stuff. Have I been wrong all of these years? Have THEY all been wrong??

I'm not lazy or unmotivated - I have the time - and this is very important to me - I want it - I'm just scared.

 

[Hellda]

Welcome! I can wholeheartedly tell you that THEY were wrong. We have similar stories - I was the chubby, smart kid at school, picked last in sports, told I wasn't good enough etc and I can completely feel where your fear is coming from but you can and you will get fitter and stronger and the forums here are a very good place to start. 

[SpecialSundae]

People are talking absolute RUBBISH!

 

I was a fat kid and avoided sports at all costs. At 27, I came down with an illness which left me all but bedridden for months. I was overweight and could barely walk without exhaustion because of the illness. At 29, I picked up a barbell for the first time and at 30 I competed in my first powerlifting competition.

 

You can always make progress, even in your 70s or 80s, but you can't make progress unless you try!

 

Don't give up!

[Elastigirl]

I grew up thinking I could never be strong, and that I would always be clumsy. I thought it was a set point. I thought that until I joined NF, when I was in my mid-forties. Now I am strong, I can do a headstand, and I can dance. No, you are not too old. It may take a while, and the road may not always be easy, but it will be worth it. The only person you need to compare yourself with is yourself. And if you start working on getting healthier, than you will improve your health.

[Mr.Six]

To start, I agree with everyone above.  I've only come to realize as an adult how often being told "you can't do it" led to giving up on something I really wanted to and should have done.

 

On 1/25/2017 at 2:54 AM, ImACoolNerd said:

I'm not lazy or unmotivated - I have the time - and this is very important to me - I want it - I'm just scared.

 

Fear not CoolNerd, you are in good company.

 

 

[ImACoolNerd]

Thank you to everyone who replied to my post. I appreciate your kind words and encouragement very much!

 

I have been reading a bunch of posts on the website - I'm starting to think that maybe my illness and everything else are actually good things in a way - because otherwise I would have just kept going as usual and never questioned anything. In a weird way... maybe I needed this to shake me up and who knows maybe I'll end up better because of it.

 

I also realized that a lot of the things I was told were given "magical" explanations rather than scientific factual explanations. And feeling so extremely terrible with no explanation as to why (at the time) just pushed me to believe it all. We actually only figured out the real reason I was so sick last week - so I hope this will help with the fear. Before I was just so scared I was going to drop dead or something  because I had no real answers. But now I can try things going into it thinking like I'm ok - you're fine - this is good for you.

@Mr.Six I have had a similar realization - that every interest I have ever had in my life that I can think of - there has always been someone who has told me I shouldn't or wouldn't be able to do "the thing". And I hope that I have never been "that person" to someone else! I read this really great book about different Olympians and I was so shocked when so many of them talked about how few people believed in them and told them they couldn't "do it" for so many different reasons. Totally not what I was expecting at all.

@SpecialSundae Thank you for sharing your own experience with me. I remember when I couldn't even walk to my mailbox. An extremely humbling and bizarre experience. I will never forget what that felt like. And I LOVE your picture - back bends are one of the things I was told I shouldn't and couldn't ever do again. I picture myself going back to my chiropractor and doing the best back bend ever and proving him wrong! I think he would fall over from the shock.

 

@Elastigirl That is so cool that you dance now. I have been wanting to do ballet forever and took a few classes last month - but stopped going because of these fear/stressful problems I have been having. I'm hoping I can go back soon with a better mindset - and get some better results. Ballet is another one of those things I was told I could never do. Ugh! I am like a broken record! I know!

 

 

 

[Elastigirl]

1 hour ago, ImACoolNerd said:

Thank you to everyone who replied to my post. I appreciate your kind words and encouragement very much!

 

I have been reading a bunch of posts on the website - I'm starting to think that maybe my illness and everything else are actually good things in a way - because otherwise I would have just kept going as usual and never questioned anything. In a weird way... maybe I needed this to shake me up and who knows maybe I'll end up better because of it.

 

I also realized that a lot of the things I was told were given "magical" explanations rather than scientific factual explanations. And feeling so extremely terrible with no explanation as to why (at the time) just pushed me to believe it all. We actually only figured out the real reason I was so sick last week - so I hope this will help with the fear. Before I was just so scared I was going to drop dead or something  because I had no real answers. But now I can try things going into it thinking like I'm ok - you're fine - this is good for you.

@Mr.Six I have had a similar realization - that every interest I have ever had in my life that I can think of - there has always been someone who has told me I shouldn't or wouldn't be able to do "the thing". And I hope that I have never been "that person" to someone else! I read this really great book about different Olympians and I was so shocked when so many of them talked about how few people believed in them and told them they couldn't "do it" for so many different reasons. Totally not what I was expecting at all.

@SpecialSundae Thank you for sharing your own experience with me. I remember when I couldn't even walk to my mailbox. An extremely humbling and bizarre experience. I will never forget what that felt like. And I LOVE your picture - back bends are one of the things I was told I shouldn't and couldn't ever do again. I picture myself going back to my chiropractor and doing the best back bend ever and proving him wrong! I think he would fall over from the shock.

 

@Elastigirl That is so cool that you dance now. I have been wanting to do ballet forever and took a few classes last month - but stopped going because of these fear/stressful problems I have been having. I'm hoping I can go back soon with a better mindset - and get some better results. Ballet is another one of those things I was told I could never do. Ugh! I am like a broken record! I know!

 

 

 

Take small steps. You don't have to do it all at once.Just take the next step. 

[LouCarJo]

Just to add to what everyone else has said that you're not alone.  I also was fat and told I wasn't sporty as a child - got asked to leave gymnastics because I was too heavy (aka had matured to full adult height at 11, am taller than average, and carried a bit of excess fat).  I also didn't get into exercise again till later on (early 30s).  And I recently had 3 months of doing very little following surgery.  People still have their opinions (my dad reckons I shouldn't be lifting weights as it's "unladylike"), but they are always going to be there and you just need to find some way of ignoring them or at least carrying on with what you want to do regardless.  Taking tiny steps is a good suggestion - what one little thing can you do today that will move you in the direction you've identified you want to go?  Start really, really small, but then do something each day.  You'll be able to identify an action better than me, but something like booking a ballet class, or sorting out clothes and putting them in a pile that you'll wear at the class, or doing some gentle stretches for 5 minutes...  And report back here!

[Lydiechan]

Those people who told you you're too old and you can't rebuild muscle...there's a word for those people.  STUPID.  Not only are they destroying you instead of building you up, what they're saying is the opposite of scientific fact.  So don't let them crush you under their own stupidity.

 

I just found an article about a 57-year-old man who planked for 5 hours and 15 minutes to break the world record.  I collapse after 40 seconds and he's 20 years older than me.  Age has nothing to do with it.  Do be careful.  Don't be scared.

[ImACoolNerd]

@LouCarJo Oh my heart breaks for 11 year old you. omg. Now you see top gymnasts of all sizes, shapes, and ages. It just proves how wrong your coaches were. I am so sorry that happened to you.

 

I think I'm going to have to print out this thread and read it everyday until it all sinks in.

 

I also think that maybe I've been hanging with the wrong crowd...