Kage

Holy cow, I love squats!

My Epic Quest of Awesome, to be updated the first of every month February's Challenge: No restaurants, exercise 6 times a week, sit daily Current Level: 1 XP: 0 XP to next level: 500 　 Exercise 6 times a week: A. Bodyweight Monday Wednesday Friday: 50XP B. Yoga Sunday Tuesday Thursday: 50XP C. 10XP bonus for every 1 pound lost 　 Become fluent in braille A. Read 1 hour a day: 10XP Each B. Read aloud every Sunday: 25XP C. Test speed the first Sunday of every month: 5XP D. 5,000XP bonus at 250wpm 　 Become conversant in Spanish A. Learn 10 Spanish words a week: 10XP B. Learn 1 grammatical form a week: 10XP C. Practice speaking whenever possible: 20XP 　 Play the guitar A. Learn to tune it: 15XP B. Learn 1 chord a week: 10XP C. Learn a song: 50XP 　 Cook Thai, Indian, Lebonese, and steak A. Learn 1 meal a month: 25XP C. Bake 1 item a month: 25XP 　 Eat intuitively at every meal A. Start with water: 2XP B. Eat until satisfied: 3XP C. Take leftovers home: 5XP 　 Become an **** specialist A. File for eligibility: 5XP B. Schedule the exam: 5XP C. Apply for certification: 5XP D. Pass the exam: 100XP E. Send receipts to **** for reimbursment: 5XP 　 Become a full-time **** specialist A. Write a resume: 5XP B. Apply for Positions: 5XP each C. Apply for and accept the job in ****: 1000XP 　

My mental and physical health are at war with one another. My mind screams in panic. I eat until I'm numb. My fat causes me to panic more. I eat... I panic... I eat... I panic. I eat even more when lonely. For the month of October I vow to: 1. Sit with my pain in an hour of daily meditation. 2. Eat until satisfied, not stuffed. 3. Not skip meals. 4. Exercise Monday through Saturday.

Hi, all, My first four-week challenge was a huge success. Now I'm going to do a six-week challenge to catch up to the group, since I was moving and didn't have internet for the beginning of this cycle. Last challenge's rules: 1. Eat until fulfilled, not full. 2. Drink a glass of water before and after every meal. 3. Learn to cook one new meal (which turned into 'learn to go grocery shopping for healthy ready-made meals,' since I'm living in a hotel on a school campus for a while. 4. Don't nag my husband, which has resulted in the strongest, happiest month of our entire marriage, even though we're across the country from one another. This challenge's rules: 1. Eat a salad every weekday. 2. Don't eat dessert* 3. Don't eat more now in preparation for skipping a meal later on/Don't skip meals 4. Do the beginner bodyweight exercises Monday, Wednesday, and Friday before dinner. *Explanation: I hate sweets and they hate me, but I still order them, telling myself I'll regret it if I don't. Instead, I regret it when I do. It's time to break the pattern.

Oh, man. It's been more than a month since my last post. How is that even possible? I had some family issues, moved across the country, didn't have internet for two weeks, started my student teaching for my master's degree, and have been learning a new video game. Phew! My goals were not to overeat, to drink lots of water, to cook one new meal, and not to nag my husband. I was completely successful in all of them, except I didn't learn to cook one new meal-- I learned how to go grocery shopping and buy healthy convenience foods instead. This is a huge accomplishment, as my busy lifestyle and my blindness mean I can't just walk into a kitchen and cook something; I need to take time, equipment, and some sighted assistance to make it accessible. I consider this a win! Guys, I'm active! I teach blind kids how to navigate unfamiliar environments (schools, neies offered here?er than the strict daterally* never ghborhoods, business districts, how to cross streets, etc,) and I'm walking 5-10 miles a day in hundred degree heat. I'm also eating lots of salad, and when I do have pizza or something, I only eat a couple pieces, not the entire pizza. I have literally *never* had a pizza go 3 meals, much less an entire week. I eat a piece, put it away from 5 hours, have another piece... and I don't feel like death! I'm losing weight. I'm happy. I'm healthy. My marriage is stronger than ever. I feel like a person! Thank you all so, so much for supporting me in this. I'm ridiculously excited to get on my next challenge. Maybe I'll even start early. Do you think I could do it from the first to the first rather than the strict dates they offer here? I'd even be happy to do it for six weeks instead of four. I just hate having to try and keep track of which seemingly random date they use. God, I feel so good. Now just to start doing bodyweight exercise as well as walking so much

Observation: If I anticipate having to skip lunch for work, I eat twice as much at breakfast to compensate. Except it doesn't actually work! I'm still hungry, I'm just also 300 Calories farther from my goal!

Ewwww. I overate in a big, bad way. Not intentionally. I didn't *eat* much, but I *drank* a large smoothie, part of a coffee drink, and a huge tea latte. I feel physically disgusting. Socially, it was absolutely worth it. I visited with a childhood friend for the first time in years. It was lovely. In the future, I'll stick to teas and water. the sugar was too much for me. Now I know!

It's been such an informative week! I've learned how to not overeat at work, that I will always overeat at a hibachi grill, and that eating pizza without Netflix means I'll eat two pieces, but eating it with Netflix means I'll eat six. Fascinating!!! I'm hydrated. I still have to learn to make a new meal; I honestly forgot about that one. My marriage is stronger than it's ever been. I'm still chomping at the bit to workout, so I think I'll start on Monday and just do what feels right, when it feels right.

I'm trying to decide how to handle cravings as I change how much of and what I eat. Do you guys ignore them completely; eat something healthy, distract yourself with exercise, or what??

Yesterday was a mixture. I had a small, super early, healthy breakfast, a very late lunch of ten small veggie grape leaves, and a bowl of potato bacon soup for dinner. I didn't overeat, but it still felt too carby (even if it was realistically fine.) I also snacked on 4 chocolate cookies while I was at work. I stopped as soon as I saw what I was doing, and I honestly think it stopped me from having too low of blood sugar. Not the ideal medium, though. I'm debating whether to get on the scale and see how much I weigh. I'm definitely someone who becomes obsessed with the number. I also could be demoralized if it's higher than I think it should be. But it would be helpful to know if I'm actually losing weight. My real concern is eating too little so the numbers drop as quickly as possible. I'm also about to transition to a cognitively demanding, moderately active job where my ability to think straight could literally mean life or death. (No pressure.) I know the foundation: Listen to my body. But my body wants to be overweight, so it might lie to me. It isn't exactly reliable.

Another day, another step toward where I want to be. Doing a lot of work today on planning for what I want my relationship with food to look like and what kinds of things I want to be eating. I also learned that I can get soups and sandwiches from the deli of my local supermarket, meaning I can save time, money, and calories by getting a cup of soup and/or a sandwich rather than going to a restaurant and getting a giant portion of an expensive, unsatisfying something. Neat! I still want to exercise. *A LOT.* I'm itching to get moving, but I don't want to start too soon and overwhelm myself. Maybe I'll just do it when it feels right rather than hold myself to some kind of standard... for the first month. I know exercise will need to be part of next month's challenge, though.

Another day. Another step in the right direction. Learned that I can text myself, meaning I can text myself a food journal. Breakfast was a two-egg omlet with one slice of deli ham and a small bit of shredded cheese. Lunch was a sandwich from Jimmy John's and most of a Dr. Pepper. Dinner was 3 and a half too-large pieces of too-thick pizza. I didn't eat any desserts or have any snacks. Other than the Dr. Pepper, I drank water and plain tea, no Gatorade or bottled coffee drinks. Strangely, controlling one aspect of my life makes me feel as though I can control more. I feel strong. Impatient, but energized. I want to do more. To go after what I thought was impossible. And my marriage... I can breathe again. I'm talking rather than lecturing. I'm asking instead of interrogating. I can do this. I am doing this. Don't overeat. Drink water. Learn to cook one new meal this week, and don't nag. But... For the first time in a long time... I want to exercise. I have an urge to move. To create. To live.

Another day done. I did notice myself eating more sugar and less protein/healthy fat, but I reluctantly let it happen and decided that I didn't enjoy it. Now I know

I'm a sedentary, but relatively healthy 24 year old male. I'm transitioning from a office job to one where I'll be walking 5-10 miles a day. Ideally, I want to get into bodyweight exercises with an eye toward eventually doing gymnastics, as well as walking so much and generally taking up fun activities whenever I feel like it. Is NerdFitness' beginner bodyweight workout sufficient to start taking me from sedentary to fairly active? I'd also like to walk 5 miles 3 times a week between now and when I have to do it every day (just over a month.) Monday, Wednesday, Friday: 3 sets of the Beginner Bodyweight Workout Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday: Walk 5 miles, or 3 if my feet can't take that. What do you guys think?

Okay, so my lifestyle quest this month is to not nag my husband. The long story short is that a few months ago, while stressed about some truly wild things going on with school, he said that he wasn't actually gay-- that although he likes boys and doesn't like girls, all he's ever really wanted is to be normal. He took it back a fw days later and explained how bad things were with school and that, when he's depressed, his sexual orientaiton seems like the obvious culprit. If that one thing could change, so would his anxiety and depression. Needless to say, this completely spiked my anxiety and had me going over every single thing I've ever said or done. I've been asking him literally daily if he's really gay, how he knows he's gay and that he didn't just feel pressured to enter into a relationship with me because we were such close friends, etc. Again, needless to say, it's only putting a wedge into our relationship that makes it feel as though we're waiting for the next shoe to drop. Either he's not really gay and we're just pretending, or else my anxiety is going to convince me as much and ultimately destroy our relationship, anyway. By not interrogating him and instead having a thoughtful, polite dialogue, I learned today that when I ask him point blank if he's gay, the question itself reminds him of all the times his family told him he wasn't allowed to be gay, that they didn't raise a homosexual for a son, he was too stupid and too weak to know himself... all that stuff. He basically feels as though there's a right and a wrong answer and *insert deer-in-the-headlights-reaction.* I guess I should say that he's always maintained that he is gay. He's very fluid with calling me his husband, saying he likes boys, that kind of thing. He just freaked out once a few months ago and it put me into a catastrophic tailspin. Not nagging him might actually result in me getting past my anxiety a little bit and, you know, not completely destroying our relationship. Thanks, NerdFitnes, for helping me be a better me. I love this place.