Elennare

Yeah. It's like, she's micromanaging me, but she can't even do that correctly. And has now either basically given me conflicting direction or expects me to be operating at the same level as someone who's been working on this component for years. Blergh. Apparently I spoke too soon about the other job not being interested in me anymore. I got a call from the recruiter this evening. They want to interview me! Unfortunately, the salary is lower than my ideal, so he wanted to discuss that, and the rest of the benefits, to make sure I was still interested before scheduling an interview to make sure they weren't going to be wasting anyone's time. So that's cool. I'm almost certainly going to say yes to the interview, but going to think about it for a few days first. I didn't quite follow my meal plan today, but I at least made an effort towards it. I'm sure I'll be able to make it work the rest of the week. Haven't exercised yet, but I'm going to walk for 20 minutes before bed.

Food has been meh, but I have a plan for the rest of this week, and even got the groceries to make it happen. Thursday I did some yoga, Friday and Saturday I ended up not doing any exercise, Sunday was coaching the game, and Monday also ended up being a day off. The game was a lot of fun. The other lady I was working with for the coaching team (another skater from my team, who is an aged-up junior from Little One's team) preferred to be more of the game coach, so I was mostly running lines. I did help with the game coaching some, and I was the assistant captain, so I also called time outs and even an official review. Overall it was a good experience, and I will definitely be more confident doing it next time. Also my team won the game. Sadly, Little One was on the other team, so he lost. On the upside, he won MVP Jammer for his team, so that was pretty awesome! And we both had fun, which is the most important part. Work continues to be incredibly stressful. My manager is continuing with her either failure to read/respond to everything I send/ask her, or just failing completely at communicating what she wants, or possibly both. And since she's now added a higher-level manager into our discussions, she's decided the best way to respond to me asking for clarification (when she does respond to that) or pointing out that I already did the thing and need her to tell me what she actually wants if that's not it is to do her best to make me look bad. So I'm having to deal with that on top of trying to get work done for the new component I'm still very much trying to learn. Because apparently she's expecting me to be fully on top of everything immediately, despite being just dropped into something completely new less than a month ago. Haven't heard anything back from what I thought was the promising job, so I think at this point I should assume I'm not going to. Need to get some more applications submitted.

9/11: 172.5 9/18: 172.0 9/25: 172.7 My weight has been all over the place this last week, but it looks like today landed on an "up" day. Yuck. I did finally get somewhat of a plan for eating more healthily put together, with the intent to really start today (yesterday had some planned "off plan" eating). I have not, however, made it to the grocery store, so I guess I'm not starting it until tomorrow at the soonest. It occurs to me, however, that I have been hanging out in the low 170s for a while. 6 months to a year ago, I was stuck in the high 170s. So, as frustrating as it is to not really be seeing the number change, I did manage to somehow get my "sticky spot" to drop like 5 lbs. Even though it's not what I want to see, it's not nothing!

Tuesday and Wednesday continued to be meh on the food front. Could be better, but also not terrible. I think I may have some time this evening to get a real plan in place. Tuesday exercise was walking for 20 minutes. Wednesday was practice with Little One. It was slightly chaotic, as there were over 30 kids, of different skating abilities, and only 2 coaches. Not sure what's happened to our other assistant coaches, but they haven't been here since we started up again. They may have gone off to collage, so it might just be the 2 of us going forward. Last night was also a touch extra chaotic because there was a parents meeting during practice. I couldn't go to the whole thing, because I had to coach. Also found out that I am likely going to be one of the *actual* coaches for the "fancy" scrimmage on Sunday, not just running lines like I expected. So that'll be exciting, because I've never done that before.

I was going to share a picture of us at the Ren Faire, but I didn't actually take any. My mom did, and sent them to me, but something weird happened and the copies I got look like they were shot on a potato. So, no pictures until Ren Faire #2, I guess. Yesterday went pretty well. I made some small improvements in my food, and practice was really good. I am slightly surprised I can walk today, honestly, but I also think I maybe started ever so slightly improving my plow stops, so that's pretty awesome. Also we started getting back into contact, which was also fun, even if it was only pushing people and not hitting.

9/11: 172.5 9/18: 172.0 Down half a pound! Not entirely sure how I pulled that off, but I have some guesses. Likely a combination of just eating less all week because my belly was a bit off and the increased activity from derby starting up again. I had a sudden change of plans part way through the week, so ended up really busy and didn't get my eating plan together. Aiming to make that happen in the next couple of days.

Sadly the run did not happen. Just didn't have enough time. We did, however, get the costume bits finished in time to go to bed at a semi-reasonable hour. So that was nice. Had a lovely day at the festival on Saturday with my parents. Also got to briefly chat with a friend we haven't seen in years because his band was playing there. Sunday we didn't do a whole lot, but the boys and I cleaned up the house while Husband was out. There was much complaining, but we got it (mostly) done. Because I'm serious about keeping it picked up this time, darn it! 😜

If you aren't able to get a brace, or just find yourself unable to cope with it, KT tape cut into small strips and wrapped around the sore joints (and/or also down the back of the fingers, depending on how they hurt) can also help.

Second attempt at buying costume stuff from Amazon worked much better. It's definitely not fantastic, but it'll do the job well enough. Especially once I hit up the fabric store and throw together an overskirt. Also need to hit up the thrift store for some belts, and footwear for one, or possibly both, of the boys (depending on if the boots Little Bug wore for Halloween a few years ago now fit Little One). And just in time, too, because my parents want to go to a different renaissance festival with us this weekend! We are apparently going from no renaissance festival in way too long, to all the renaissance festival! Still haven't fixed up my diet. I have plans to get a plan together to start next week, because I know I won't be able to get it done before then. Just need to make sure I actually do it. Took a rest day yesterday, because I was tired and my belly was feeling a bit off. Somehow, between work, running to the stores, and making a skirt (plus helping Husband with whatever else needs to get done), I need to fit in a run with Little Bug tonight. I think I can make it happen.

Sadly, the communication continues to be shit. And they *still* haven't implemented the reorganization, which means I'm still under the same manager. So, things have marginally improved, but I'm still having to deal with her BS. I am starting to get some understanding of the new components, and slowly getting integrated into the group, so that's good. I have been actively trying to find a new job for probably close to a year at this point. I've had 5 interviews and 4 rejections so far, as well as two positions I thought I was well qualified for have the position canceled. Still waiting on the results of the most recent interview (which I am incredibly well qualified for; I just hope I conveyed that well in the weird record-yourself-for-1.5 minutes interview format). 😕 Did ok on food yesterday. Lots of room for improvement, but not a lot of energy to spend on that right now. Had practice with Little One last night. His league was doing an open house type thing for potential new skaters, and I was the only coach who could make it. So I ran a "get a feel for derby" practice essentially by myself. With a ton of kids there. All things considered, it went pretty well!

Did better on food today, and I walked for 30 minutes. Sadly, the stuff I ordered from Amazon did not work. Returned it and tried again. Maybe this time it'll work. Speaking of work, I think it's better? Kind of? I don't really have anything to do. I got sent some documents to review, but I don't know anything about the components so they don't make a whole lot of sense. I am sure that will change, but the main guy I'm working with is in training this week and the other guy seems to be out of the office.

OK, here's my first weigh in and plan. 9/11: 172.5 Plan: still slightly fuzzy, and probably not going to actually be able to start it until next week because lots of planning will be required, but...I'm going to either try to follow the 90 Day Journey diet plan or the Mediterranean diet-ish Flat Belly Diet if I can find the book. Or maybe I'll end up with some weird amalgam of the 2. I am going to start with 1200 calories/day and when that proves itself to not be enough to sustain being an athlete, I will aim to get the additional calories I need from produce.

I didn't used to have that problem. And, I have extensively modified patterns before, so I have no doubt I *could* make it fit, but it wouldn't be fast and I don't have the time. I just wanted something I could quickly throw together. I also hope what I ordered fits and works. It definitely won't be what I normally wear, but it will probably be good enough to look like I made a decent effort. Costuming is one of my nerd things, so I have very high standards for myself. Sometimes it's a double-edged sword. 🙃 No, not really. I am certain I will be ok. I think I just need to give myself some grace when it comes to how quickly I get over everything that happened, and honestly, grieve a bit. I spent 2 years working on that component and had it yanked away from me just before we got to the cool stuff/seeing the results with actual hardware. I do have derby again to also help me get my head right. Had my first practice after the break tonight. I am going to be so sore tomorrow, but it was good. Also, something awesome happened. It takes a bit of explaining, however. The structure of how you go about getting cleared to be able to play has changed, but there used to be a test with "minimum skills" you had to demonstrate. One of them was skating 27 laps of the track in 5 minutes, commonly called the 27 in 5 and written 27/5. It's not a required skill anymore, but it's still a nice benchmark of speed and endurance and some leagues still have their skaters do it. My best ever, not counting the time last year where my count and the person counting for me's count were so different I don't know which of us screwed up or which number was right, was 28.5 and I almost died getting that many. Tonight at practice we didn't do the 27/5, but we did skate for 5 minutes straight. I decided to count my laps for fun. I skated at a nice steady pace that felt like I could hold for a while. I didn't push myself, but I also wasn't skating at "tooling around the rink talking with friends" speed either. Let me stress that "I didn't push myself" part, because I really didn't. It was a nice comfortable pace. And I got 28 laps in those 5 minutes. 🤯 Apparently I'm getting better at this skating thing. 😁

Hello friends! I am jumping in again. I'm going to set my goal at 10lbs, even though I haven't even managed to lose 5 over the course of one of these, because I really need to step up my efforts in the weight loss department. Tried to buy a sewing pattern over the weekend and the largest size the store had was 2 inches too small for my waist. The size that matched my hip and bust measurements had a waist measurement 4 inches smaller than my waist. I am so very done with my waist being so out of proportion to the rest of me. I will fill out the spreadsheet later today, and be back with my starting measurement and hopefully a plan.

Finished Zero Week by going to a University of Michigan football game. That was ton of fun, and we got a lot of walking in. Also met up with a friend for boba afterwards. Week 1 is not off to a great start. Slept WAY late on Sunday. Almost to the point of missing church. And was really tired and out of it for most of the day. We're going to the ren faire in a bit (Husband is organizing, and I forget exactly when it's planned for 🤪), so we went to the fabric store to get some stuff for the garb he's making for the boys. None of my stuff fits, so I decided to see if I could find a pattern to make some new stuff for me. Apparently renaissance clothes are not "in" right now in sewing pattern world. I found 3 options, and they were only for bodices. Ok, fine, I can make a skirt without a pattern. So I went to get the pattern for the bodice I liked the design of...and apparently I don't get to make clothes for me. The size that fit my hips and bust (my measurements exactly, in fact!) had the waist measurement 4 inches smaller than me. The largest size available stopped 2 inches smaller than my waist (and had correspondingly larger hip and bust measurements). 😡 So, that sucked, and sent me into a spiral for the rest of the day. So I ended up ordering some costume crap from Amazon that I hope looks ok enough, because I do not have the time to mess around with altering the pattern enough to make it fit me. It's slowly dawning on me that I am nowhere near as ok as I'm pretending I am. But, there's literally nothing I can do to change the situation, so all I can do is try to change my view of it. *sigh* Fake it 'til you make it, right?