I think you most definitely should continue your evolution as an awesome person. That is excellent advice. I didn’t start getting what I wanted in a relationship until I knew what it was I actually wanted, and that only came on the heels of figuring out what I could do for myself that was soul-satisfying. My divorce years (all seven of them) were a deep revamp of my life: what did I like to read? To eat? To cook? To wear? Who did I think was attractive? Why? (Even if I didn’t pursue them, discovering that I enjoyed people being attractive constellations in my life to admire was fun). What kinds of compliments did I like to receive? What kinds to give? What kinds of media (music, film, art) did I like and how did I like to interact with it? Honestly, Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way” was a great stepping stone for my self-discovery process. I am not sure if you have ever checked it out, but you might find it useful. The more I got to know myself, the richer my life got - in experiences, because I was flat f*ing broke so it couldn’t be in material things.    I agree with Scaly - you deserve to feel secure and loved. As a baseline. I can’t really say anything about adoration or lust or higher level passions like that because those are not the spheres Dave and I operate in, but even that is kind of useful to know - you can have a satisfying and strong marriage without those things if you have the security and the love. You are fucking awesome, Harriet, just as you are. Mr. Harriet is luckier than he realizes. I hope he clues in and that you continue to grow into further fabulousness. ❤️ 

Also, this. Very much this.    Hmmmmm.   ...can we make them sign a waiver where they acknowledge that if it's above 120F the SAR teams will not come after them, and their families can't sue?   Also, no  kids allowed.

How the fuck is this not child abuse?   Serious question.

You reinstalled a game you enjoy. Why would you need to defend that to anyone...? 🤔   The quote about heroes not earning their victories made me smile. I hate that "saved by divine intervention at the last moment"-bullshit, and have rage-quit many a fantasy novel because of it. FORESHADOWING IS A THING THAT SHULD HAPPEN. 

What do you like doing while hanging out?

People are so convinced of their own immortality sometimes. Good lord. What a trauma to the SAR folks and paramedics and doctors who have to try to deal with the consequences of monumentally stupid decisions.     

First of all, you are already awesome. Second, is this something you can take to your therapist? Helping someone grow into a slightly different person is basically what they do.  

Yes, to both. Though I would argue that for some couples the perspective is that the relationship remains the same, and they are the ones who are changing. They committed to each other when they were very young, and are as committed to each other today... they're just different people now compared to then (obvious example: my parents were not parents when they got married, over 40 years ago).      Cixin Liu is an award winning science fiction author, and the genius behind the 3 Body Problem novel trilogy. It's been adapted into a show on Netflix.       You deserve to feel loved and wanted and valued and desired. If you don't, something new needs to be negotiated, because being married is honestly exhausting. If you're going to put all that energy and effort into another human being, then he should damn well love you and treat you like the gift to him that you are. Don't settle for less than that, and don't give up on the marriage without making a sincere effort to renegotiate and create something better together, either.     This is wise and brave and I will study this technique in preparation for my next encounter with Procrastination.   My thoughts   My thoughts, and warning in advance that they're going to be a bit blunt... clarity over tact. I'm not trying t be mean, just be clear about the point I am making.       

Glad you are feeling a little better!    I think I am a few hundred hours into my island, too. Like 800+? I’d have to check. It’s a good game. I am currently in love with Coral Island and cannot wait for it to finally come to Switch. No idea when that will be, but I want it!

My brain is restless and discontent. Nothing is working.     Wait, wrong gif...