Telions forced reboot

[Telion]

So here I am again, more determined this time.

 

Having been made redundant. And for the last four months dealing with the stress of that possibility resulting in me diving back into the bottom of a bottle and stopping my depression meds and counseling (I know I am an idiot for it, But that is cutting a long story short).  

 

So I have had a look at my life, and broken my current situation down into a list of things that are bad, good or I have no control over.

 

Bad.

Been made redundant. (Also a good thing)

Family is ripping itself apart. (sister has split up with her husband, grandfather is in a home and doesn't even remember who I am and my parents are at each other's throats every time they think I don't know)

Drink... 

World of warcraft

 

Good

Been made redundant. (I have to use this as the massive kick up the backside I need it to be. I have a degree [sure only a 2:2] but four years at uni should count for something)

I have finally been signed off and completed all the training to be a cub scout leader (and have had a couple of requests to take on the district commissioner role. Which I won't do because I prefer the grass roots group level scouting over the admin side of it)

 

No control

Being redundant.

My family issues.

 

The thing I have lost since university where I was physically my healthiest and fittest is the accountability from my housemates. Without them I default into just sitting in front of a screen, or spending way to much time in the pub. 

 

So thats my download of all the crap I have. Now to work on getting back to where I was physically at uni. 

 

I just know that I can't do it without help, because something else is either more important that fitness or easier. If anyone has advice (Be as brutal as you want) I would be more than grateful.

 

But I think the thing I need most is an accountabilibuddy Or a team of them.

 

Telion, the ironically lost scout leader

[Diadhuit]

Hi,
Sorry to hear about all the crap that happened to you.
I was without a job for 6 months after university and it was very tough to leave the house because I felt I should have searched for a job and after 1h a day there isn't much you can do.
My suggestion is to create a day schedule, e.g. From 7 to 8 exercise, from 8 to 12 job searching, etc. and put it into a 4wc, then report back each day.
What type of exercise did you do when in college? Were you enjoying it?
Also, sit for some time and search for free or low priced events in your city, you might find that there is more places you can go than a pub.
Let me know if I can help you more with accountability!

[Harleytrypp]

Hi Telion, 

 

Congratulations on your self awareness.  recognizing your issues is the only way to begin to address them.  I hope you have or will return to your counseling, and appropriate medications.  No solutions were ever found at the bottom of a bottle.  

 

Congratulations and condolences on being made redundant.  I hope it opens a great new chapter in your life.

 

As to your family issues, I know family is important, but FIRST you do you.  Once you have your own issues addressed, then be there for your sister with a shoulder to cry on, or be happy for her, which ever is appropriate.  Be there for your grandfather, whether he recognizes you or not, be a loving grandson, or a new friend, whichever is appropriate.  I'm going to break pattern now.... DON'T be there for your parents!  Be there for your mother, and be there for your father.  If they are at each others throats, that's on them.  I know it's hard, seeing the foundation of your childhood possibly crumbling, but know that it's up to each of them to find their own happiness, with or without each other.  And remember, your happiness is only your responsibility.  I hope you will be happy.  I hope your sister will be happy.  I hope your grandfather will be happy.  I hope your mother will be happy and I hope your father will be happy.

 

As for the drink, only you can determine how much of a problem that is.  But if you feel it's out of control, bring it up in your counseling, and possibly join a support organization specifically for alchoholism.

 

Same with the WoW... video game addiction is a real thing... only you can make that honest judgment.  

 

Finally..... a big congratulations on completing your training to become a leader in scouting.  It's wonderful that you care to provide support and guidance to the next generation.  

[ladyofthebog]

Man, you are doing a brave thing. I feel the honesty in your post and I’m very impressed. I’m excited to follow along with your journey. Depression is a gnarly beast. Only the brave can confront it head on. Strong soul. 

[Telion]

Thanks for the support guys. Just a update. Saw my GP last week and have another appointment a week on thursday (Which also happens to be my birthday). I understandably got a bit of a grilling but my next appointment is about treatment/counselling options going forwards. 

 

In other news have spent some of my redundancy package on getting myself a new bike, so back in the saddle so to speak.

 

Thanks again

Telion