MEN ONLY THREAD part two

[The Spider]

For those of you with a lady friend in their life, how do you encourage them to keep healthy as well?  I'm going to be getting into powerlifting at the end of August when school starts, and my girlfriend has been saying for the past 3 years that she needs to lose weight, but whenever I encourage her to get up in the morning and go on a walk she makes excuses.  She will go to the doctor, or for some odd reason she'll wind up finding out how much she weighs, and then I hear all about how overweight she is, blah blah, whine whine.  It isn't her fault that college is stressful, and that cafeteria food is smothered in low quality oils and chock full of preservatives, but she's been out of college for a few months, plus, just by going paleo for one month, she managed to lose maybe 3 inches off her waist, without exercising at all, but she refuses to get her body moving.  I've told her that some light stretches such as touching your toes and neck rotating in the morning will make her feel better (she gets headaches and lower back pain a lot), and that walking will help her in her weight loss, but it's like she just wants to continue to be jealous of all the skinny people around her.  What do you think I should do?  Last time I asked her to try and touch her toes for me, she stomped her foot and yelled at me that "she already did once today."

[wildross]

For those of you with a lady friend in their life, how do you encourage them to keep healthy as well? I'm going to be getting into powerlifting at the end of August when school starts, and my girlfriend has been saying for the past 3 years that she needs to lose weight, but whenever I encourage her to get up in the morning and go on a walk she makes excuses. She will go to the doctor, or for some odd reason she'll wind up finding out how much she weighs, and then I hear all about how overweight she is, blah blah, whine whine. It isn't her fault that college is stressful, and that cafeteria food is smothered in low quality oils and chock full of preservatives, but she's been out of college for a few months, plus, just by going paleo for one month, she managed to lose maybe 3 inches off her waist, without exercising at all, but she refuses to get her body moving. I've told her that some light stretches such as touching your toes and neck rotating in the morning will make her feel better (she gets headaches and lower back pain a lot), and that walking will help her in her weight loss, but it's like she just wants to continue to be jealous of all the skinny people around her. What do you think I should do? Last time I asked her to try and touch her toes for me, she stomped her foot and yelled at me that "she already did once today."

set an example and hope she follows.

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[insanity]

It is easy to get a crush for you?

Me?... if so I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to ask.

 

set an example and hope she follows.

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This... it's how I managed. It took a LONG time but she got there, she's still in the infant stages though so we'll see if it sticks.

[matty_mcfly]

The only things that have gotten my girlfriend to work out in the last 5 years has been Caribbean vacations, upcoming beach bachelorette party, subsequent upcoming wedding, and a cancer scare.  She hasn't found internal motivation, with the exception of the cancer scare/desire to be healthy, which only sucks because once we are back from the vacation or once the wedding is done, she'll stop.  Hoping her desire to not be sick/generally be healthy will make it more of a lifestyle change.

 

TLDR:: Try to find an external motivator or some type of incentive and just hope it sticks

[Thrillho]

Leading by example for 5 years has met with extremely limited success.  However, she starts her Environmental Planning degree in the fall, and that has a lot of field work and surveying, so she finally has a "reason" to try and get into better shape.  Hoping it sticks! After a big start, she hasn't been to the gym for 3 weeks.  Gonna try and poke her gently all August to go with me.

[Purple_Panda]

Strangely, after a good bid of me 'prodding'; and I only prod after she states something like, "Men have it easier to lose weight.", i'll respond with, "Especially when the woman doesn't try and workout." She is good natured, so am I; but I was never able to motivate her by myself.  I couldn't get her to come to a gym, or even do body weight exercises with me, AS I am doing them in the same room while she is watching <insert annoying reality tv show here>.

 

What did?

 

A co-worker expressed the desire to start exercising; he is trying to get in shape for his second kid him and is wife are having; and my wife is just hit or miss for gym work... well... he started to pick her up in the morning and they do their exercises at the campus gym. If someone is relying on my wife to do something, she is rock solid; but far as I can tell, I couldn't drag her out of bed if the house was on fire as early as she gets up now. LoL.

 

In the end, can be weird what gets them in the gym; all that matters, to me at least, is they are doing it.

[Sloth the Enduring]

For those of you with a lady friend in their life, how do you encourage them to keep healthy as well?."

In my experience you really can't without it coming back and biting you in the ass. What you can do is be a good example without being preachy about it. You can support her when she does start making better choices. And you can give her positive feedback.

[Suited hippy]

Help her find her exercise. Some people find walks boring, some find running monotonous, some find weightlifting too loud. 

 

Think about what she enjoys doing, and think about how that can be made to exercise. Zumba is really popular with women these days. I know a few women who after taking intro kick boxing lessons were hooked.

 

Think of it like this, you are dating a metal head, she loves to headbang and get rowdy in a mosh pit, but you are inviting her out to a square dance. Find her Moshpit. 

[Thrillho]

So her exercise is Simpsons "Tapped Out" and red wine.

 

... hmmmm, that might not help. 

[The Spider]

Thanks for the helpful responses, gents.  She says she could get into swimming and could go on walks, but she just never does.  She's always tired, always falling asleep, but she also doesn't do much of anything on the days that she doesn't work (she's a cardiology nurse).  Here's to hoping my workout goals inspire her, especially if the potential for marriage gets greater.  O_o;;

[cn3wton]

Saw my first real gym "crush" today.

 

This girl I have seen multiple times in the gym. Always seem to catch her on Monday's when I am finishing up my circuit by doing hanging leg raises and Russian twists. I always acknowledge her and go about my business, thinking shes just another one of those girls that comes in, does ab workouts and runs on a treadmill before leaving. But as I was talking to my friend on my way out and I happened to notice her by the cables, doing real exercises. For real exercises. Well, as close to real exercises as you can get at Planet Fitness... My jaw just about dropped to the floor.

 

So anyone run into this kinda thing before. I don't want to be "that guy". But in fact my friend whose the assistant manager at PF, met her boyfriend (actually how I met her in the first place) at the gym. So maybe there's hope? I mean not only did he meet her at the gym, but also her place of employment...

[Zorch]

Help her find her exercise. Some people find walks boring, some find running monotonous, some find weightlifting too loud. 

 

Think about what she enjoys doing, and think about how that can be made to exercise. Zumba is really popular with women these days. I know a few women who after taking intro kick boxing lessons were hooked.

 

100% this.   It's less about pushing her through the door***, than it is about holding multiple doors open for her until she finds one where she likes what's on the other side, and decides to pursue that path.

 

Additionally, going for a walk is a great idea - but don't frame it as exercise, frame it as couple time, where it's about the two of you spending time together and enjoying each others' company.  The exercise component is secondary, and she'll enjoy it more that way.

 

 

***everyone is different psychologically.  Some may be more effectively motivated by a bit of prodding, while others may just shut down.  But generally speaking you can't force someone to change.  The best you can do is to remove the obstacles to changing for the better/living a healthier life and hope that person takes advantage of the opportunity with which they've been presented.

[The Spider]

***everyone is different psychologically.  Some may be more effectively motivated by a bit of prodding, while others may just shut down.  But generally speaking you can't force someone to change.  The best you can do is to remove the obstacles to changing for the better/living a healthier life and hope that person takes advantage of the opportunity with which they've been presented.

 

I definitely agree with this.  I definitely won't force her, raise my voice or something crazy, like threaten to break up with her over it, but I definitely worry about HER raising HER voice at me, and stomping her foot when I try to playfully encourage her to do even simple things like stretch in the morning.  I make jokes so it's not so much about reminding her about how much work she has to do, and I tell her I'll do things with her when I can, but there's just no ambition, even though she complains about her appearance and the numbers on the scale.  She hates the way she is, but refuses to do anything about it to change.

[Endor]

I agree with the walking as couple time. There are so many distractions at home with tv, Internet, jobs to be done etc. I find going for a walk with my wife for an hour is the best time to talk things through and burn some calories at the same time.

Starting at exercise is the hardest part and there's only one person that can start it, yourself.

This is a bit left field but she may be using her 'problem' as a way to get attention.

[Church]

I have loved ones like that, weather they complain about their finances, weight, mariage, body-image, etc. that are constant complainers and constantly looking for advice and help, but never actually apply any of it. Or constantly come up with reasons why they can't do it. and I, personally, have just said "You know what? Theres two choices. Either change, or don't. You can't get what you've never had unless you begin to do things you've never done and become someone you've never been. Now if you're serious and you want help, I will provide all of the support I can. But if you have no intention of actually doing something about it, then please don't include me on your list of people to complain to." I realize that may not be an applicable solution in your circumstance, but it is something that I have had to do in order to spare myself heartache and misery by association.

[Church]

I have loved ones like that, weather they complain about their finances, weight, mariage, body-image, etc. that are constant complainers and constantly looking for advice and help, but never actually apply any of it. Or constantly come up with reasons why they can't do it. and I, personally, have just said "You know what? Theres two choices. Either change, or don't. You can't get what you've never had unless you begin to do things you've never done and become someone you've never been. Now if you're serious and you want help, I will provide all of the support I can. But if you have no intention of actually doing something about it, then please don't include me on your list of people to complain to." I realize that may not be an applicable solution in your circumstance, but it is something that I have had to do in order to spare myself heartache and misery by association.

[wildross]

Is this the church? Log tossed and hammer thrower?

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[wildross]

Is this the church? Log tossed and hammer thrower?

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from the profile. . Don't think so.

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[Church]

No sir, This is Spartan 981, callsign Church. I was really active about a year ago, did 12 or 13 6 week challenges, but then I got hurt, drunk, and lazy and kinda sort of fell off the fitness lifestyle. but now I'm back

[Jittersthe.Clown]

I have loved ones like that, weather they complain about their finances, weight, mariage, body-image, etc. that are constant complainers and constantly looking for advice and help, but never actually apply any of it. Or constantly come up with reasons why they can't do it. and I, personally, have just said "You know what? Theres two choices. Either change, or don't. You can't get what you've never had unless you begin to do things you've never done and become someone you've never been. Now if you're serious and you want help, I will provide all of the support I can. But if you have no intention of actually doing something about it, then please don't include me on your list of people to complain to." I realize that may not be an applicable solution in your circumstance, but it is something that I have had to do in order to spare myself heartache and misery by association.

I had to like, unlike, and like this again.  I have a sister in law who does this.  All. The. Time.  She is one of those who just needs to complain about something or her day is ruined.  She has 3 boys, a 5 year old, and a set of almost 2 year old twins.  My brother works on the fire department and is in the Army reserves still, so he is away from home a lot.  I get it.  You have your hands full.  You don't have time for this or that.  You know what, yes you do.  Throw the twins in their stroller (the jogging stroller I bought you specifically because you said you can't bring them out on your walks...) and get the 4 year old on his bike and go for that walk.  Then I heard "Well, your brother is home today, so I have to make sure he's alright with the kids before I do and then..." No.  Stop.  Take the kids out if my brother is there or not.  Build a habit.  The boys will love it and you get your walk in that you want.  Or don't.  But if you don't, I'm tired of listening to you complain that you can't do something.  You have 3 brother in laws that are willing to help you out and a mother in law that is willing to change her weekend plans of a mini getaway to help you.  You guys moved back from Texas to be closer to family.  We offer to help.  Please take us up on it.  

Sorry, I kind of went on rant mode for a moment.  

[Church]

It's all good dude, that stuff is frustrating as all get-out. My personal pet-peeve is people who complain about their finances but say that they're not interested in changing anything to improve their standing. Or "really really want to." but don't have ANY spare time or money because they need to drink a case of beer, smoke a pack of cigarettes, and watch reruns of Alf for the 40th time or their day is ruined. I find it gets easier to tell these people to "Can it because you wouldn't change even if i gave you the chance. Oh wait, I did. You weren't interested."

[Sloth the Enduring]

Alf cracks me up, so I guess I can see where they're coming from.

[matty_mcfly]

And the case of beer because I mean...beer.  But otherwise I agree. My pet peeve are people who complain about their job but don't do anything at all to make a change for the better, whatever that change may be

[Red1263]

My biggest pet peeve is when someone less healthier than I comments on my fitness level ("You need to eat more." "You're getting a lil pudgy, you know") and all I can think of is, "SERIOUSLY?! HAVE YOU LOOKED IN THE MIRROR LATELY!?"

[161803398874989]

My biggest pet peeve is when someone less healthier than I comments on my fitness level ("You need to eat more." "You're getting a lil pudgy, you know") and all I can think of is, "SERIOUSLY?! HAVE YOU LOOKED IN THE MIRROR LATELY!?"

Ha I got laughed at for getting a pair of squat shoes the other day. I was like: "bro, you don't even squat 1-plate, so shut up".