What do you do when the universe is really out to get you?

[Gobnait]

I'm not paranoid. If I were properly paranoid, I wouldn't be in this regretful mess. It just seems like I have the slightest shred of optimism, and everything goes haywire.

And I'm hatefully afraid of psychiatrists. I can't handle spiders either, but at least they will stay put while you go searching for a weapon, and most will happily get out of your life if they have an escape route while you're threatening them.

My latest hangup was that I missed a dental cleaning and am on a warning list for short-notice appointment cancellations. (At least I hope this is my first warning.) I had to reschedule tommorrow's doctor appointment, pushing the time from deciding to make the appointment and having a fifteen-call fight about it, to getting in a month after I wanted it and developing a second reason to call and make an appointment in the meantime. (And I think the only reason they answered the phone today is because I started having a voice-cracking meltdown at their higher-up before calling them.)

All because I felt sure that just because we solved all of the problems that should keep the scooter from starting, it would actually start for me this morning. Stale fuel and sluggish starter motor, there is a flammable aerosol I can squirt into the fuel intake to make the ignition catch. Won't charge it's own battery while tearing around town? Jumpstart it to get it back home and recharge the battery from the wall... and then have another problem to solve. I still need to check to see if it will start if plugged in to the wall, but I was too cautious for my own good and wondered how I would get back home again if I needed an external power source. (I guess I could have been rude by wanting a jumpstart without having my own cables, but it seems like the locals don't consider that rude, and are unlikely to carry cables.)

And if I had a much higher stress threshold, I'd have the courage to AC-start the scooter and hope I make it to where the car is without stalling out, even though there is an 80% chance of it happening a few miles before the halfway point. (And then having to jump-start it again, causing yet another problematically fried circuit, plus the headaches associated with taking the car.) At this point, trying would do no good unless I was fully bitched-up enough to show up at the appointment I cancelled.

[LRB]

Deep breath.

The universe is not out to get you; you're having some transportation issues. It happens to all of us. Hang in there, and try this on for perspective:

My best friend's daughter is catastrophically ill. She has had a five-organ transplant, followed by two different kinds of cancers and three rounds of rejection. She spends about half her life in the hospital and is on a medication regimen that would make your head spin. In April, my friend was diagnosed with Stage IIIB colon cancer. And the hits just keep on coming. I don't want to belittle your feelings about what you're going through, but do hope that you can keep it in perspective.

[Gobnait]

Deep breath.

The universe is not out to get you; you're having some transportation issues. It happens to all of us. Hang in there, and try this on for perspective:

My best friend's daughter is catastrophically ill. She has had a five-organ transplant, followed by two different kinds of cancers and three rounds of rejection. She spends about half her life in the hospital and is on a medication regimen that would make your head spin. In April, my friend was diagnosed with Stage IIIB colon cancer. And the hits just keep on coming. I don't want to belittle your feelings about what you're going through, but do hope that you can keep it in perspective.

Well, that didn't make me feel any better, but the "shut up" (it could be worse) chant it started in the back of my mind should ward off any more incidental misfortune.

There wasn't any more of my rum to fill the ration bottle completely, but I think I've twice-filled from hubby's bottle and probably won't do a third. I have nothing left but to start over and trying to guilt over my indiscretion later is a pointlessly weak gesture.

I still need better coping skills for next time. Addressing the alcoholism directly isn't a strategy, fixing the need to be an alcoholic should also make it hard to get to the bottle.

And this was just the latest thing. It took years to break me the first time, and I had to watch as every dream I ever had crumbled before my eyes while people who claimed that they were helping me were hitting it with sledgehammers. It's just now that every little thing that goes wrong is met with a reaction since I never regained my patience after having to use 5-years worth without rest.

If just one more month-worthy trial comes up, I'm going to see how long I can comfortably act like the universe is out to get me. I mean, I used to online hang with people who were convinced that the zombie apocalypse was coming, but they didn't believe in the possibility of really actual zombies.

[LRB]

Kelekona -

I'm sorry. My reaction was insensitive and poorly thought out. The best I can say is that I was having a really bad day (got some bad news about another good friend) and perhaps should not have posted any response to your post. I apologize for my reaction; it sounds like you're reaching the end of your rope. I hope you find the strength and resilience you need to get you through this, and am sorry for how I responded.

Best,

Liz

[realbrickwall]

Your problems sound unfun.

I bet you know someone who's good at auto mechanics who could help you out with your scooter (I bet this because it seems like there's always one guy/girl like that in every circle of acquaintances). Don't be afraid to ask them. While life may be difficult, you'd be surprised at what you can overcome with patience, perseverance, and a lot of help from other people because seriously human beings are not physiologically or psychologically designed to handle life all on their own.

[Gobnait]

LRB, you didn't offend me, my response was nutral-voice. It also does drive home that I need to rebuild my patience, at least well enough so that I don't go all drama queen over a month that was only sporadically bad. Hope your friend makes it through.

And it might take a while, but I'm going to make hubby rebuild the thing, or call on one of his buddies to help.

[cob]

This happens to me quite often. Sorry to say, it's part of life. What do I do? I bitch about it, whine and stomp my feet and throw a hissy fit (all of this is mental of course, once I posted online unnecessarily). Then I tell the universe to f*ck off and handle the situation as best I can. It sucks hardcore, unfortunately there are a lot of circumstances we can't control and it feels crappy.

I find it helpful to remember if I let one little universe stop me, I wouldn't worthy of the epicness I am trying to achieve. Once you get on NF, it's time to level. No matter what get shoved in your face, move forward and let the universe see that you are a force to be reckoned with!

I also always recommend meditation for any problems stemming from mental incongruences (IE stress)

LRB sorry to hear about your friend's daughter. Hopefully she gets some good news soon!

[Blaidd]

I hear you about feeling the universe is out to get you, but honestly I try keep it all in perspective and when I can't I kata-box or something similar. The punch bag becomes the universe and I beat the billy out of it! Not only do I release stress and anger but also endorphins (and hopefully fat). Exercise induced endorphins are waaaaay better than chocolate (for me anyway). I also found another outlet - the junk yard. I smash things up. It's easier to let things out than to keep them in, just do it in a positive way that doesn't hurt anyone.

Ps. You're not being paranoid. It is out to get you - thats it's job!

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[rtalencar]

Grab the f***er by the horns and say "B**** let's do this"

Good luck!

[Kalyrn]

When live gives you lemons, you eat those damn lemons!

[CROW]

This reminds me of a Koan.

There was a monkwho spent his time in a small shack, contemplating through the day. All he had were his robes, a bowl and a pair of chopsticks. Whenever he was hungry, he would go to a nearby village and ask for food. The only reason he had the hut was because a villager built one for him.

A travelling thief came upon his hut one evening and demanded anything the monk had. The monk told him all he had was his bowl and chopsticks. The thief then requested the robe off the monk. What he thought odd of his victim was that he did not think twice and gave it to him. After the thief left, the monk.contemplated the moon thinking "if I could only give that man who took my things the moon".