Annoying comments you hear all the time

[Guest]

Some people are just so negative about the whole thing. And then my colleagues wonder why I don't speak to them for months at a time. Jerks.

 

It's dangerous for older women. Tsss. Bulls**t propaganda... Why I oughta...

Rofl *grumble grumble*

That's messed up

[Basement Cat]

Rofl *grumble grumble*

That's messed up

 

I know! I can't believe how unpleasant some of them have been. They've called me crazy for going for a walk early in the morning (you're going to get attacked!). I live in a quiet suburd populated by public servants and situated next to a hospital, a grammar school and a church! Not exactly the kind of place gangs like to hang around.

[ReachingForTheStars]

What kind of work do you do? (If you don't mind my asking)

[Vella]

I think some people just don't realise how negative they are ... I have a friend over here who knows I go to the gym Tuesday and Thursday, and after class last week on Thursday asked if I wanted to go to the pub for a drink with her and my other classmate.

I said no, I had to get to the gym because I had stuff on in the evening.  But I'd be happy to go with them on Monday if they had spare time.

 

The response was a look like I'd just told them I wasn't able to go because I had to go make out with a goat.  And then the little self-deprecating laugh and the "Wow, you're really dedicated."

 

Lovely person.  Except when it comes to exercise.  Funnily enough, she knows I'm Primal, too, and she's always really supportive and accepting of that.  She asks questions in the spirit of either curiosity or figuring out where's the best place for everyone to go eat so that I can join in without feeling bad.

*shrug*  I got nothing.

[MariahSnow]

I love to see people use someone else's reflection as a mirror to themselves. All this negativity is just their own problems bouncing back in their faces. I think most of these negative people are comparing themselves to you (and failing), which is why you get negativity. But they missed the first lesson - don't compare yourselves to others. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, last week, last month, last year.

[Basement Cat]

What kind of work do you do? (If you don't mind my asking)

 

I'm a teacher of French as a second language to adult students. (that's a mouthful). The one thing I have noted though is that all the negative comments so far have come from women. Thank goodness my whole family is super supportive. My mom is being a worry wart, but that's par for the course for her. At least she tells me she's proud of me.

[Mahina]

I love to see people use someone else's reflection as a mirror to themselves. All this negativity is just their own problems bouncing back in their faces. I think most of these negative people are comparing themselves to you (and failing), which is why you get negativity. But they missed the first lesson - don't compare yourselves to others. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, last week, last month, last year.

 

I used to be extremely negative and now I feel terrible about. I was never all that negative to people's faces but I always used to judge. Like seeing some girl out running during the summer is tiny shorts and a sports bra. I always thought she was just out for attention. Now I'm running myself and I can't imaging running in summer without wearing tiny shorts and a sports bra only. It gets up to 100F or more here! Maybe a tank top since I burn easy. I also know that it was because I was feeling bad that I wasn't working out anymore and only putting on weight.

 

Although I can proudly say that I've never tried to get people off diets unless I thought the diet was unhealthy or they were starving themselves.

[ReachingForTheStars]

I'm a teacher of French as a second language to adult students. (that's a mouthful). The one thing I have noted though is that all the negative comments so far have come from women. Thank goodness my whole family is super supportive. My mom is being a worry wart, but that's par for the course for her. At least she tells me she's proud of me.

 

One of science teachers back in high school was also one of the teachers who would typically break up fights.  He noted that guys would beat each other up and call each other names, but they never really tried to hurt each other - they were just either looking for attention or they would be working out frustrations, and by the end it was over.  Bygones were bygones.  "Good fight, don't be such an idiot next time.  Cool?  Cool."  But when girls fought, they would insult to really hit you where it hurt, and they would bite, pull hair, scratch - whatever they could do to make sure the other person left with as much pain, anger, and regret as possible.  When they were done, they would likely either never speak to each other again or they would be out for revenge.

 

Obviously, not always true, but that was the noted trend.  Maybe I'm being sexist (for the record, I'm a girl!), but I've tended to notice that it's not boys who can really hurt you, it's girls who know how to really cut deep.

 

Again, not always true.  Has anyone else noticed this?

[samanmoran]

I was in a training group to get women to go into "the trades" carpentry, plumbing, etc. I can't remember the discussion, but one woman spoke up and said something like, "well, I know how women are manipulative and stuff, but..."

Anyway, here's the thing, she believed it - just, I don't know, because it was the conventional wisdom, I guess? That kind of thinking is so insidious we don't even know it's there wallowing in our subconscious a lot of the time.

Our discussion at that point veered off onto challenging that belief by asking her to look at herself and the women around her to verify if that statement was true or not. Of course, there was some yes and no. But the point is to really evaluate our beliefs and don't believe everything we think.

Sent from an alternate universe using Alien tech.

[Basement Cat]

You both have a point, Samanmoran and Reaching for the Stars.

 

While the "women are manipulative" thing is partly conditionned, I think the ability for girls to really hurt other girls comes from the fact that most girls share the same insecurities due to social pressure, hence the cutting remarks. For boys, they share similar issues and know how to hurt each other too, but social conditionning dictates that men get into fights. You see it in movies, in music, in advertising, in everything. So, how much is social condiotionning and how much is natural disposition really comes down to the individual. Believe me, I have met some very nasty men who really knew how to hurt another man, or a woman for that matter.

 

This is especially obvious in bullies and other abusers, both male and female. Their abuse is often verbal and preys on the insecurities of their target. Read up on how abusers control their victims, and you'll see that manipulation really knows no gender. It often comes down to terminology: when a man does it he is being intimidating (masculine), when a woman does it she is being manipulative (feminine).

 

It all boils down to the same thing: being a jerk, and that knows no gender.

[samanmoran]

Yeah, my old boyfriend had me tied up in knots by his subtle manipulation. It was in his every move. I never saw it coming and couldn't identify it because I simply do not think that way. Through the benefit of hindsight (and therapy) I could see it, now I can see it coming and run the other way.

People are people- and creeps, jerks, bullies and losers come in all varieties.

Sent from an alternate universe using Alien tech.

[I-Jo]

women tend to hold grudges longer- and they tend to be more backhanded- knowledge is power.

 

Men play king of the dung heap- women it's about social circles and status- not what you know but who you know.

 

"Poison is a woman's weapon"

 

It's definitely a thing- we are brutal to each other- which is one reason I get along WAY better with men than women. Just WAY better.

When I say it- I mean it and there is no double meaning. When we are done- I try to be done (sometimes I'm not- but I TRY).

I'd rather fight it out and be done with it than pick fights. 

[samanmoran]

women tend to hold grudges longer- and they tend to be more backhanded- knowledge is power.

Men play king of the dung heap- women it's about social circles and status- not what you know but who you know.

"Poison is a woman's weapon"

It's definitely a thing- we are brutal to each other- which is one reason I get along WAY better with men than women. Just WAY better.

When I say it- I mean it and there is no double meaning. When we are done- I try to be done (sometimes I'm not- but I TRY).

I'd rather fight it out and be done with it than pick fights.

That description couldn't fit me less. I couldn't be backhanded if I tried, and I'm not the least interested I social status, in fact I shy away from it. I can be very cutting when I want to, but my poor husband bears the brunt of that. I always end up apologizing.

And I used to think I got along better with men, but I generally get along well with anyone who isn't a douche bag and feel comfortable among people mostly by interest and topic of conversation than anything else.

I don't have time for gossipy nonsense. In my time, I've found that coming mostly from men believe it or not! I worked construction, you should HEAR these guys! Incredible.

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[ReachingForTheStars]

While the "women are manipulative" thing is partly conditionned, I think the ability for girls to really hurt other girls comes from the fact that most girls share the same insecurities due to social pressure, hence the cutting remarks. For boys, they share similar issues and know how to hurt each other too, but social conditionning dictates that men get into fights. You see it in movies, in music, in advertising, in everything. So, how much is social condiotionning and how much is natural disposition really comes down to the individual. Believe me, I have met some very nasty men who really knew how to hurt another man, or a woman for that matter.

 

You're exactly right, I think.  A lot of my perceptions likely come from the fact that I AM a girl.  There are girls who tend to get on better with guys, but I still tend to feel a certain comfort when I'm with other girls versus when I'm with boys.  We just go through similar things.  I wonder if a lot of guys think that guys are more hurtful?

 

But goodness me, look what I started...

[Basement Cat]

But goodness me, look what I started...

 

A philosophical discussion about the age old "nature VS nurture" argument? Congratulations!

[samanmoran]

And for our next topic: How Many Angels Can Dance On the Head of a Pin?

(And isn't dancing salacious?)

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[Thrillho]

Seven.

 

Next!

[samanmoran]

Now THAT'S annoying.

(Just kidding! ;-) )

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[I-Jo]

That description couldn't fit me less. I couldn't be backhanded if I tried, and I'm not the least interested I social status, in fact I shy away from it. I can be very cutting when I want to, but my poor husband bears the brunt of that. I always end up apologizing.

And I used to think I got along better with men, but I generally get along well with anyone who isn't a douche bag and feel comfortable among people mostly by interest and topic of conversation than anything else.

I don't have time for gossipy nonsense. In my time, I've found that coming mostly from men believe it or not! I worked construction, you should HEAR these guys! Incredible.

Sent from an alternate universe using Alien tech.

it doesn't describe me well either- I am incredibly straight forward.   I don't deal with back handed bullshit- I'm much more straight forward. 

 

Men are gossipy too- they definitely like to chit chat. no denying that. 

[ReachingForTheStars]

 (And isn't dancing salacious?)

 

I love how people were bashing this video in the comments section for having supposedly salacious dancing in it just because it's usually a religious song.

 

No, the video's not about a cast working hard and supporting each other to create some music and put on a good show.  Nope.  It's clearly all about the half-naked girls. -face/desk-

[insanity]

You're exactly right, I think.  A lot of my perceptions likely come from the fact that I AM a girl.  There are girls who tend to get on better with guys, but I still tend to feel a certain comfort when I'm with other girls versus when I'm with boys.  We just go through similar things.  I wonder if a lot of guys think that guys are more hurtful?

 

But goodness me, look what I started...

 

Not I... There's a bit by the comedian LouisCK that discusses the differences between boys and girls, and I think it has some merit.

 

The gist being that boys do there damage in monetary value, while girls go for the psyche.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpW3orlfp7E

 

For the most part, that seems to be the case. Obviously, there's exceptions to the rule, but you don't really see many guys going for the manipulation, and you don't see many women go for the physical damage.

[ReachingForTheStars]

Gosh, I can't decide whether I love or hate that man.  He always makes me laugh, but some of his bits make me feel really awkward.  Everything he says is, like, brutally honest (as is with most comedians).  Kinda makes me wonder how he's like off stage.

[I-Jo]

Not I... There's a bit by the comedian LouisCK that discusses the differences between boys and girls, and I think it has some merit.

 

The gist being that boys do there damage in monetary value, while girls go for the psyche.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpW3orlfp7E

 

For the most part, that seems to be the case. Obviously, there's exceptions to the rule, but you don't really see many guys going for the manipulation, and you don't see many women go for the physical damage.

 

I'm a physical fighter- it's been hard being involved with someone who isn't. It's weird. - but I find this to be very true. But I'll swing both ways poor BFgets double barreled.

Gosh, I can't decide whether I love or hate that man.  He always makes me laugh, but some of his bits make me feel really awkward.  Everything he says is, like, brutally honest (as is with most comedians).  Kinda makes me wonder how he's like off stage.

Love his stand up.  If he is anything like his show- god lord- fug off. the TV sit com show was atrocious. Simply atrocious.

SABOD became a thing in my circle of friends.

Also  "I have questions"

[MariahSnow]

Women are manipulative, men are manipulative. Women are easy going, men are easy going. While gender is a big conditioner, there's more to it than that. But what I can't stand is the double standard. If a guy speaks up about something, people listen. If a woman speaks up, she might be brushed off as "sensitive".

 

For example, I have two female coworkers who sit next to each other and get annoyed by each other. Recently Woman 1 messaged me at work, complaining about how loudly Woman 2 was talking about her fantasy football team with another coworker. My immediate reaction was, "grow a pair and say something". But if Woman 1 says, "hey, I'm having a hard time concentrating, can you all keep it down?", then Woman 2 has a choice: she can be reasonable and say, "my bad, no problem". OR she can take it personally, message me saying, "Woman 1 is so obnoxious, who does she think she is, it's my office, too!" And then Woman 2 is holding a grudge, and hating on Woman 1 even more than she was already. Ugh. So Woman 1 is kind of stuck because if she speaks up, she's making herself a target. So she sits quietly at her desk with her headphones turned to 11.

[samanmoran]

Meh... He forgot the whole part of the physical damage men can do to women that also leaves a pile of shit in your heart.

And who's that chick who sings that she's gonna carve her name into his leather seat? Not that I have any respect for that, either, but it does imply that she's interested in doing physical, monetary damage. I think she should just dump the asshole, but whatever.

Not digging this one. Sorry.

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