A little help for a rebel gone astray?

[Swinging_Jarnbjorn]

Rebels,

 

     I've been gone for about two months (admittedly I wasn't around much in the month or two before then, either) and I think I'm lost. Seriously. Life is getting out of hand, and for the first time in a long time, I can't see clear tweaks and adjustments that will help me get back on course. I'm 15 pounds heavier than I was four months ago, and I feel like that backsliding and failure is bleeding over onto the rest of my life.

 

     My pity party is over, and I'm sorry I didn't invite anyone, but it's time for cleanup.

what I'm hoping to find here is advice, simple and clear. That's simple, not easy. I'm not looking for shortcuts. So I ask you this: If you were in my shoes, backsliding and feeling like your ife was getting out of your grasp, what would you do? What's your move?

 

-JB

[MissMormie]

That's really depended on what is going on in your life. But in general the advice is take small steps and celebrate your victories. You won't be able to change your complete life around in a week, so pick one or two things to start on.

It's also important to celebrate your victories this helps you feel you're going somewhere.  

[zahana]

I'm not sure where the back slide is coming from, but a few quick tips. Cut sweets (I don't mean releasing fake sugar for sugar. Wherever you can cut that shit) find a way to work out daily (could be small steps like walking to a store instead of driving or taking the stairs instead of an elevator), Don't give up! On this last point I can't stress it enough. We all have to desk with this thing called life that gives us lemons. Do something more with those lemons than let them sit in a basket and go rotten, you are moving in the right direction. If v you can't use those lemons, store then up and find a dude buying lemons, you have sugar then make lemonade, you're just angry throw them back at life's head sitting "I don't want your stinking lemons" (throwing lemons is a decent with out)

[Guest]

Whenever things get out of control in my life, I employ a "stopper".

Right at this very moment, you force a cut from things that happened before this point. Best analogy I have is, say you're sliding down a mountain; you were at the top, you lost your footing and now your sliding towards the bottom. Shove your pick in and stop sliding. Assess your situation; it doesn't matter how you got here, you're already here. Now you have to get your footing. It matters where you go from here. This is you, as you are, right now.

Steer away from "I was at this point so-and-so time ago", and acknowledge that this is where you are now. This is your starting point. It's easier to walk on flat ground than to try to climb out of a hole you're digging for yourself.

[alienjenn]

what I do is make a small goal... that I KNOW I can meet... and meet it... then I pick  a slightly harder one... and then again... and again... the power of momentum works both ways...

 

 

 

 

and I don't let myself make excuses...

 

it's like GPS... I figure out wher eI am... where I wanna be... and then the path between usually falls into place

[lbgbvb]

I am reasonably fit, and have kept 80lbs off for 2 years now, but I still take it day by day. And boy, can I have a bad day, week, even a month!

 

Some people call it, "falling off the wagon." Friend, I invented it. I'm the Queen of Starts and Stops.

 

Its not backsliding or failure - you're human. Try to keep as positive an outlook as possible - for instance, did the bag of chips taste good? Of course they did! Did the sofa feel good? Of course it did!

 

No sense in feeling guilty about it - had I been there, maybe we could have watched Shaun of the Dead and I would have upturned the chip bag for you so you could get every last morsel. That is, if I didn't hog the crumbs for myself!

 

One thing I learned about losing weight and getting fit is that I said, "If only I knew I could do it....if only I knew I would do it...dang, I would have had a lot more fun eating." Why did I waste all of that energy feeling guilty about my "failures?" They're only failures if you don't seek to reverse them. No biggie! What good did it do to feel bad about falling of the wagon when I got back in action and came out better than before? What damage did those chips really do, except taste good?

 

All that matters, is that you get your momentum back.

 

Personally, I just take the first day and spend it cleaning house all day. Wash all the clothes, put them away, mop all floors, scrub the bath, etc. On the second day, walk one mile and go back home.

 

See how I feel on the third day - I usually have my momentum back and I genuinely feel like doing it for real. If not, walk 1.5 miles and go home. I'm guaranteed to feel right as rain and motivated on the 4th day.

 

Everything that happened before Day 1 does not matter. Its not that I am not acknowledging my faults or taking responsibility for them - oh yeah, I totally did that! I totally ate two King Sized Nutrageous bars and washed them down with a 2-liter of Coke for breakfast. I sure did.

 

But I also "took care of it." If I can get myself into a mess, I can sure as heck get myself out of it. So there's no point in thinking of it as a failure.

 

Is it technically "backsliding?" Yeah, I guess. But you have acknowledged such, pinpointed problem areas and are ready to change. That's not backsliding anymore, that's self-awareness, and its a wonderful quality to possess. Not to mention, its the best quality to have for success.

[Super Destroyer]

No sense in feeling guilty about it - had I been there, maybe we could have watched Shaun of the Dead and I would have upturned the chip bag for you so you could get every last morsel. That is, if I didn't hog the crumbs for myself!

 

I have Shaun of the Dead on my dvr.

[citizenkade]

Small goals are best. I also keep a picture of myself at 360 pounds to kick my ass when I slide back too far. But, yeah... Small goals, increase them, and work for something you want, really WANT. Then work your ass off for it, attain it, and relish it.

 

We all slide, it's going to happen. What measures your success or failure is not whether you slide, but how you stop! GO KICK SOME ASS!

[Swinging_Jarnbjorn]

Thanks for the advice guys. I know you're right. I'm going to do something with weight in my chest that was left for me by Frustration (my own personal Black Knight - no matter how many limbs I lop off, it keeps trying to bite my ankles), and take some steps. I'll check back in.

[citizenkade]

You got this, dude. Let us know if you need back up!

[Lizz]

Start back one step at a time, you are always able to move forward. Address one thing you want to change, just one and start it. Then once you are happy that you have started it and getting in the groove, start a second. It may help to prioritize. And this is coming from another backsliding rebel.

 

. So I ask you this: If you were in my shoes, backsliding and feeling like your ife was getting out of your grasp, what would you do? What's your move?

 

-JB

[World'sFinest]

Honestly, the biggest help I have in times of trouble is my support network. Friends, family, people who generally care and are willing to help me get my head right and fix my situation. Let me tell you a story.

 

I was in college, and to pay for said college I worked at a job that I hated and that was a significant part of the worst day of my life. And after I graduated I spent five months looking for work before I got a job working for a non-profit that I had always supported in a volunteer capacity.  I was very excited, and I quit the job I hate near immediately. People were happy for me, everyone was very excited. After a month and a half I got called into my bosses office and was terminated. The reason they gave me was they felt I wasn't trying hard enough. They asked me if I wanted to resign or be fired. Apparently the difference is one looks better on your work history.

 

I made three calls on the drive home. The first two were to volunteers I had been working with, letting them know that they wouldn't be working with me anymore. The third was to one of my closest friends. We had a short talk, and I went home to wallow in self-pity. He called me back a few hours later, told me he was coming over with a group of people, alcohol, and comfort food. We talked and drank from probably three in the afternoon to ten or eleven, and afterwards I was in much better shape. Hugely better. I was job-hunting the next day, even. Without that visit, I don't know how soon I would have started getting up before noon. I don't know when I would have cleaned up my resume, or when I would have had the confidence to start sending it out. It was two months I was without a job, but it could have been significantly longer. And while I'm not exactly content with my current job I still have my friends to hear my complaints, and they'll have me to hear theirs.

 

Find help. Even emotional support can go a long way. 

[Swinging_Jarnbjorn]

Well, I got a bit done at home today, which helped my outlook immensely, so I called up a friend and sometime workout partner to meet me at the gym. She didn't make it, but I got in a decent workout. I'm sweaty, tired, and my legs feel a bit shaky. All good things. 

 

Thank you so much for being a great community and for offering support when I needed it.

 

Rebels, you are awesome.

 

JB

[alienjenn]

I usually work out alone :/

 

 

it's nice to have a sometime workout partner!!

[citizenkade]

Just getting that workout in was a huge step, dude! Way to go!

[Swinging_Jarnbjorn]

So here we are, a couple of months removed from my last post on this thread and I'm happy to say that I've found a workout schedule that works for me and I'm getting it done! There are always going to be pitfalls, but I accept that and am happy to be moving in a generally positive direction. Thanks for the support, Rebels!

[wildross]

Congrats!!

[Swinging_Jarnbjorn]

Thanks!