Loren Wade Posted December 24, 2013 Report Share Posted December 24, 2013 The Cult of Catspaw The Cult of Catspaw is an oligarchical cult co-founded on the veneration of the one we call Catspaw by Loren Wade and childofscorn on 12/23/13. We recognize her as a polymath and exceptional individual who deserves our devotion and admiration. It should also be noted we do not worship Catspaw and do not recognize her as deity, but as an extraordinary human. This is the official record of the Cult of Catspaw as translated by Loren Wade. Heirarchy OligarchyProphetesschildofscornRecordkeeperLoren WadeAcolyteAcolytes are Cultists who have taken the vow to record notable occurences of Catspaw's portents and revelations.CultistCultists are those devoted to Catspaw's Commandment.About The Catspaw Commandment"Go forth, eat steak, and love each other."The first words of our illustrious Catspaw. -12/23/13The Jest of CatspawA crowd of people got to a doorway, including several members of the Cult of Catspaw. The members of the Cult of Catspaw held the door open, because Catspaw said to love each other, so they let everyone else start to go through the door. First went one person, then another, then a third person... then all the members of the Cult of Catspaw slammed themselves into the doorway at the same time. They pushed and they shoved and fought tooth and nail to be the next one through. Finally one of the people already through turned around and said "Why are you guys fighting? You let the three of us go first." And the members said, "Yes but Catspaw said we should go forth." - Catspaw, 12/23/13The Lifehacks of CatspawHow to spoon hard coconut oil.Run a spoon under warm water.Spoon it out.The Lessons of CatspawSometimes inappropriateness is appropriate.Words of Our Prophetess, childofscorn Article 1, 12/23/13"And lo, the Catspaw did descendeth from high atop the Google mountain, riding upon her golden shuttle. And her dulcet tones did ring out across all the land as she did proclaim " 'twas the night before the night before christmas, and all through the chat, not a creature was stirring, not even a cat[spaw]." And the evening and the morning were the first challenge." Article 2, 4/14/14 (Palindrome Day)Catspaw described the rules of Catspaw Club, "The first rule is: THERE ARE NO RULES! The second rule is: clean up after yourselves." Mythos & TriviaThe official unit of measure of the Cult of Catspaw is the Catspaw Metric Fuckton. One Catspaw Metric Fuckton is equal to 9071847400000 kilograms.Legend says that Catspaw is a Time Lord, born in 1282 AD (Earth time), and is 732 years old.Catspaw has proclaimed 2014 as the year of the RAWR.Catspaw possesses the power of the blahblahblah, of which she can speak without actual saying anything. *Disclaimer: Everything you read in this thread regarding the Cult of Catspaw is satirical. The opinions and views expressed in this thread regarding the Cult of Catspaw do not reflect those of Nerd Fitness or, probably, of anyone actually in the Cult of Catspaw. 9 Quote lobro's a druid? twitter | fb Link to comment
Acryllica Posted December 24, 2013 Report Share Posted December 24, 2013 I'm into this. Bring on the steak and the love! Quote Texas Mom of Boys, Druid Chick Link to comment
Brometheus Posted December 24, 2013 Report Share Posted December 24, 2013 This is amazing! Quote Link to comment
childofscorn Posted December 24, 2013 Report Share Posted December 24, 2013 And lo, the Catspaw did descendeth from high atop the Google mountain, riding upon her golden shuttle. And her dulcet tones did ring out across all the land as she did proclaim " 'twas the night before the night before christmas, and all through the chat, not a creature was stirring, not even a cat[spaw]." And the evening and the morning were the first challenge. 5 Quote "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." Link to comment
Elastigirl Posted December 24, 2013 Report Share Posted December 24, 2013 I'm in for the lifehacks. I never thought of using a warm spoon to scoop coconut oil with. And the steak, I'm hoping Catspaw will bestow her supreme cooking skills unto me. Quote Wisdom 22.5 Dexterity 13 Charisma 15 Strength 21 Constitution-13 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27 Link to comment
CrazyMags Posted December 24, 2013 Report Share Posted December 24, 2013 They pushed and they shoved and fought tooth and nail to be the next one through. Finally one of the people already through turned around and said "Why are you guys fighting? You let the three of us go first." And the members said, "Yes but Catspaw said we should go forth."LorenWade, this is your best work thus far lmao Quote Level 6.5 Female Druid/Celtic Goddess (Str. - 14) (Dex. - 10) (Sta. - 11) (Con. - 10) (Wis. - 11) (Char. - 13) My Most Recent Challenge! Spoiler Awake every morning and do your best to follow this daily To-Do List: 1. Think Positively 2. Eat Healthy 3. Exercise Today. 4. Worry Less. 5. Work Hard. 6. Laugh Often. 7. Sleep Well. Then? Repeat... "Promise me you will always remember: You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." RIP C.H. aka. TexasToast Link to comment
Loren Wade Posted December 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2013 I'm into this. Bring on the steak and the love!Welcome! This is amazing!Honor be unto Catspaw. And lo, the Catspaw did descendeth from high atop the Google mountain, riding upon her golden shuttle. And her dulcet tones did ring out across all the land as she did proclaim " 'twas the night before the night before christmas, and all through the chat, not a creature was stirring, not even a cat[spaw]." And the evening and the morning were the first challenge.So sayeth the prophetess. I'm in for the lifehacks. I never thought of using a warm spoon to scoop coconut oil with. And the steak, I'm hoping Catspaw will bestow her supreme cooking skills unto me.Woot! I agree. LorenWade, this is your best work thus far lmaoThat was all Catspaw. Quote lobro's a druid? twitter | fb Link to comment
childofscorn Posted December 24, 2013 Report Share Posted December 24, 2013 CrazyMags, have you felt the caress of her divine whiskers? Quote "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." Link to comment
CrazyMags Posted December 24, 2013 Report Share Posted December 24, 2013 I have not! But I was gifted with amazing words of wisdom again this morn:"Sara_Mags:" she spaketh unto me, "fortunately, you can just say no." Quote Level 6.5 Female Druid/Celtic Goddess (Str. - 14) (Dex. - 10) (Sta. - 11) (Con. - 10) (Wis. - 11) (Char. - 13) My Most Recent Challenge! Spoiler Awake every morning and do your best to follow this daily To-Do List: 1. Think Positively 2. Eat Healthy 3. Exercise Today. 4. Worry Less. 5. Work Hard. 6. Laugh Often. 7. Sleep Well. Then? Repeat... "Promise me you will always remember: You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." RIP C.H. aka. TexasToast Link to comment
catspaw Posted December 24, 2013 Report Share Posted December 24, 2013 This thread is ridiculous. 2 Quote You gotta experiment to find out what works for you.PM me with any questions about, well, anything! Current challenge: Catspaw Starts Strong Link to comment
Loren Wade Posted December 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2013 Thus says Catspaw! All praise the ridiculousness of this thread. 3 Quote lobro's a druid? twitter | fb Link to comment
childofscorn Posted December 24, 2013 Report Share Posted December 24, 2013 Hail the wisdom of the Catspaw! Quote "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." Link to comment
alienjenn Posted December 24, 2013 Report Share Posted December 24, 2013 hail the wisdom of Catspaw... and her wonderful bacony brussle sprouts 1 Quote Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting "doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom facebook battle log level 50 WOOT Backstory CNF2014 current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time) Spoiler * This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda * There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. * level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom * I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ... - I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move Link to comment
littlewings Posted December 24, 2013 Report Share Posted December 24, 2013 What this thread makes me think of. 2 Quote Link to comment
chammy Posted December 24, 2013 Report Share Posted December 24, 2013 Oh my god yes. Quote [Pixie | Warrior] Carjack: Muscles don't get confused. They only get angry. | Catspaw: I'm always willing to help dig holes for your bodies. | Twitter | Instagram | chammy has a log | chammy competes at the end Link to comment
SammyShark Posted December 24, 2013 Report Share Posted December 24, 2013 Sub'd. For ridiculousness. 1 Quote Level: 2 Race: Elan Class: None STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 2 | WIS 2 | CHA 2Current Challenge | Challenge 1 1.5 2 | Battle Log Link to comment
Vella Posted December 25, 2013 Report Share Posted December 25, 2013 Following because I'm not sure what this is, but I'm sure as heck interested in finding out. Something tells me I need to be here for this.... Quote Previous challenges: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) Link to comment
Loren Wade Posted December 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 26, 2013 Hail the wisdom of the Catspaw!So sayeth Prophetess! Following because I'm not sure what this is, but I'm sure as heck interested in finding out. Something tells me I need to be here for this....We are the Cult of Catspaw. We venerate her as an exceptional human. She is a woman of many trades; a polymath. We have learned her wisdom from the land of the Nerd Fitness Chat Room, which you can find above. 1 Quote lobro's a druid? twitter | fb Link to comment
alienjenn Posted December 26, 2013 Report Share Posted December 26, 2013 her wisdom extends far beyond the NFCR Quote Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting "doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom facebook battle log level 50 WOOT Backstory CNF2014 current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time) Spoiler * This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda * There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. * level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom * I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ... - I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move Link to comment
Loopus Posted December 26, 2013 Report Share Posted December 26, 2013 I am very much in this. All Hail Catspaw! Quote "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment" - Marcus Aurelius Link to comment
Loren Wade Posted December 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 26, 2013 I have bestowed upon the Cult of Catspaw... a logo. 2 Quote lobro's a druid? twitter | fb Link to comment
childofscorn Posted December 26, 2013 Report Share Posted December 26, 2013 I have bestowed upon the Cult of Catspaw... a logo. And thus did the logo, inspired by the lucidity and perspicacity of Catspaw, spread throughout the land! Quote "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." Link to comment
Loren Wade Posted December 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 26, 2013 Praise be unto Catspaw for a miracle has occurred. Vella discovered the land of Nerd Fitness Chat Room thanks to the existence of the Cult of Catspaw. 1 Quote lobro's a druid? twitter | fb Link to comment
childofscorn Posted December 26, 2013 Report Share Posted December 26, 2013 Praise be unto Catspaw for a miracle has occurred. Vella discovered the land of Nerd Fitness Chat Room thanks to the existence of the Cult of Catspaw.Bountiful is her mercy, and her light shall illuminate the darkness! Quote "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." Link to comment
Vella Posted December 26, 2013 Report Share Posted December 26, 2013 Praise unto Catspaw for introducing me to the majesty. Quote Previous challenges: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) Link to comment
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