Introverts, Social Misfits and the Terror of Talking to People

[Jakkals]

I'm an INFJ. I'm super rare! (or so the stats say...)

 

In the places I frequent on the internet we are the majority. (Maybe I should start looking for other places to hang out.)

 

 

A cute artsy girl was crying on the sidewalk, so I stopped my bike and asked if I could be a help. 

 

You stopped!

 

That is an achievement in itself. Maybe you should carry tissues with your phone number email printed on it.

 

 

, and my grim countenance combined with my requirement for excessive amounts of alone time tends to be off-putting in the extreme.  

 

Maybe we are family. I am known for my grimness. I have actually considered a challenge where I have to smile every day but that seemed too difficult. Maybe once a week will be easier.

 

And it is impossible to have excessive alone time. All the time is just enough.

[Machete]

Grew up from an extremely conservative family from a very conservative culture, I hear you. Do you know that in my hometown, the ancient custom is that if I touched a girl, I gotta marry her-- no turn back policy?

 

That's why Robb Stark did what he did. He was too much like his dad and had to do the honorable thing.

[Phytomancer]

That's why Robb Stark did what he did. He was too much like his dad and had to do the honorable thing.

 

Nah, Robb Stark boned a girl, and they're married.

 

In Ancient Lanna custom, this is how it goes: "You accidentally placed your hand on a girl's! When is the wedding?"

[Yraen]

Is it that you are not interested in physical affection, or that you want it/are interested in it, but are uncomfortable with it?  Truthfully, it took me a long time to develop a comfort zone with any kind of physical affection, even with family members.  It wasn't until my late 20's until I really began to develop some level of comfort around giving and receiving physical affection.  If it's a question of comfort and not a question of interest, I'd suggest going slowly and gradually going with "safe" interactions in situations where you are less likely to be overwhelmed until you have a greater comfort level.

It's a bit of both I suppose. The whole hugging kissing thing just seems strange to me. I don't get the desire. Also like I said I'm uncomfortable with basically all physical contact. I don't even like sitting near other people.

[Bekah]

I think it must be bc I'm a girl, but I have no problem in finding someone and dating, it's just when they expect the weirdness to lessen and it doesnt, it starts to grate on them and they realize all the funny and cute miscommunications arent so funny when it isnt about what kind of soda you wanted and is about bills and everything else. I can't have a good long term relationship, but short term ones are easy.

[Bekah]

And it is impossible to have excessive alone time. All the time is just enough.

and this. This doesnt bode well for success in long term relationships, except maybe if the other person likes alone time too, and you can be alone together? That would be kind of awesome

http://youtu.be/YJDFOqhzG7A

[Machete]

Nah, Robb Stark boned a girl, and they're married.

 

In Ancient Lanna custom, this is how it goes: "You accidentally placed your hand on a girl's! When is the wedding?"

 

It's different in degrees, but in essence is under the same basic principle. In the books he pulled that stunt (marrying another woman when he was engaged) because they banged while she was taking care of him when he was injured from a battle, and he didn't want to be that guy who "hit it and quit it". In the TV series though he was a teenage brat who threw everything away not for honor (which his father was known for) but for what seemed like petty reasons (i.e. Oona Chaplin being hot).

 

I can't really blame him though.

[Bekah]

 

I can't really blame him though.

Agreed. Even the one cute Frey girl isnt as cute as she is. What teenage boy do you know that is going to put honor above sex with a hot girl? Honor is for old men in that respect.

[Yraen]

What teenage boy do you know that is going to put honor above sex with a hot girl? Honor is for old men in that respect.

I put most things above. Always have.

[Machete]

It's a bit of both I suppose. The whole hugging kissing thing just seems strange to me. I don't get the desire. Also like I said I'm uncomfortable with basically all physical contact. I don't even like sitting near other people.

 

If you don't want to date, it's completely fine. You are under no obligation to do it, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I think that's a swell situation to be in.

 

I think the ones who are worse off are the ones who have the desire to be with someone but don't have the necessary skills to relate to people. Or the ones who maybe feel intense loneliness and a deep intrinsic need to be intimate with someone and yet cannot stand being with another person. It's a lose-lose.

[Bekah]

I put most things above. Always have.

Thenyou dear, are an exception. I have never known any,

[Rurik Harrgath]

The dream:

 

[Dusk]

[Presea]

^^ this was me on Friday.

[Rurik Harrgath]

Oh, jeez. 

 

I'm rarely struck by the want to socialize, but when I am... that almost inevitably occurs.  I wish there was a cat door for social interaction. 

 

I could pop my head out for a moment to soak up some people time and then disappear just as quickly.

[Silo]

Heh. We had people over for my husband's birthday the other day. At one point I texted my sister "Everybody's having fun. I'm on recharge in my bedroom."

[Presea]

My boyfriend's parents are arriving tonight for a 4 months stay (with the exception of 3 weeks in July when they will go visit his mom's sister).  We live in a 1-bedroom apartment.  "Me" time will only be possible commuting to and from work and playing tennis.  Even my long walks outside, which I relish as an opportunity to let my mind wander and digest recent social situations, will often be accompanied from now on.  Wish me luck!

[Artinum]

Last week I went to a conference type thing for work. Despite feeling ill. I may have infected half the attendees but ho hum...

 

I actually did rather well. On arrival, I spoke to about five or six people, swapped names (forgot most of them) and stories, and was pleasantly sociable. Unfortunately I shut back down again at lunch time - I sat alone, eating buffet food, while everyone else paired up around me and chatted about I don't know what. I felt I should be doing more but screw it - I was ill, I wasn't comfortable and I didn't have anything to add to any discussions anyway.

 

I resumed my social persona when the group activities started up in the afternoon. I can do outgoing, but I have to consciously force myself into it. My natural tendency is to hide in a corner and do fun stuff on computers.

[TMedina]

My new job is as a phone support agent.  And I don't like talking to people.  But I do it all day.  And I'm kinda good at it.

 

And I feel like a fraud.

[Phytomancer]

I was a waiter at a hotel, and I chatted up everyone. Patted people on the elbow and back, and just went bright-eyed bushy-tailed like people are the best thing in the world.

 

I acted very well...

[Rurik Harrgath]

I worked on the phones for about 2 months.  The stress of it made me ill enough that I did everything I could to avoid going to work.

 

Needless to say I've moved on.

[Bekah]

My new job is as a phone support agent.  And I don't like talking to people.  But I do it all day.  And I'm kinda good at it.

 

And I feel like a fraud.

I felt the same way when I did a similar job, I was like whoa..wait?!?! ewww. 

[Bekah]

I was a waiter at a hotel, and I chatted up everyone. Patted people on the elbow and back, and just went bright-eyed bushy-tailed like people are the best thing in the world.

 

I acted very well...

I was a Bell Ringer (red buckets outside walmart for the salvation army at Christmas) and actually was recognized for outstanding example of what kind of person they wanted doing the job...I wanted to claw my face off. LOL! I HATED that job! 

[SevenofSeven]

I like my job, teaching kids how to swim, I just hate interacting with the parents and other adults.

[Br0din]

My new job is as a phone support agent.  And I don't like talking to people.  But I do it all day.  And I'm kinda good at it.

 

And I feel like a fraud.

 

 

I was a waiter at a hotel, and I chatted up everyone. Patted people on the elbow and back, and just went bright-eyed bushy-tailed like people are the best thing in the world.

 

I acted very well...

 

Do you guys feel like you are Dexter?