Struggling to get off the ground...

[Raven Rose]

I'm not very good at getting into habits, and this is proving to be just like every other time.  I've been overdoing it at the beginning of the week so that by Thursday I'm exhausted, and I'm devoting the mental energy to fitness so I don't have enough spoons to focus on regulating my eating (I'm a bit disordered on that front).  Habits have never been my thing.

 

But I guess I've stuck my toe in the water.  I've found my current level and I know where I want to get to.  I've been using Habitica for a while but having nagged a couple of D&D friends into joining it and forming a party, the guilt of letting them down gives me a little extra zing of motivation.  So it's been a month and I've not come crashing to a halt.  Not yet, anyway.  I guess I just keep going and at some point the habit clicks into place.

[EmiWantsToLiftThings]

Wow!  You've been at it a month?  That's longer than I've been able to stick to a thing, so congrats.  Since you've got limited spoons, I'd say your natural inclination to focus on one goal at a time is the right approach.  Do your fitness thing without worrying too much about eating right now!  Maybe scale back the fitness routine a bit too, just to make sure you aren't stressing yourself out too much by the end of the week.  Even small changes are better than no change at all (I tell myself, sometimes futilely) and they tend to stick around on their own better.

 

But it sounds like you're not just off the ground, you're making progress!  We're rooting for you!

 

[Evicious]

^ What Emi said.

 

Habits are funny things indeed. I like to think of them as plants in my brain-garden. The bad habits are deep-rooted weeds; the good habits are beautiful flowers and profitable vegetables or fruit trees. I've tried lots of different ways to improve my brain garden and get rid of the bad habits: digging down to the roots of them to figure out why they grew in the first place was a good start. Then I tried yanking them out entirely; that worked for some (like eating sugary crap - I just don't anymore). Others, I'm still working at slowly edging out by planting a bunch of good habits around them, so they don't get much room (like eating spaghetti squash instead of noodles, and keeping healthy snack options in the house instead of crappy ones - loads of delicious fruits and berries and veggies, rather than processed junk food). Some I've settled on steadily paring down (alcohol), with the knowledge that one day there will be nothing left to whittle.

 

 

They say it's all in your head, anyway.

 

[Guzzi]

Hehe! Yeah, I agree that what you need to do is relax, don't go nuts trying to do everything and then be so tired that you end up doing nothing. Pace yourself. You'll be fine. 

[Pavowski]

On 7/6/2016 at 11:44 AM, Evicious said:

^ What Emi said.

 

Habits are funny things indeed. I like to think of them as plants in my brain-garden. The bad habits are deep-rooted weeds; the good habits are beautiful flowers and profitable vegetables or fruit trees. I've tried lots of different ways to improve my brain garden and get rid of the bad habits: digging down to the roots of them to figure out why they grew in the first place was a good start. Then I tried yanking them out entirely; that worked for some (like eating sugary crap - I just don't anymore). Others, I'm still working at slowly edging out by planting a bunch of good habits around them, so they don't get much room (like eating spaghetti squash instead of noodles, and keeping healthy snack options in the house instead of crappy ones - loads of delicious fruits and berries and veggies, rather than processed junk food). Some I've settled on steadily paring down (alcohol), with the knowledge that one day there will be nothing left to whittle.

 

 

They say it's all in your head, anyway.

 

 

I am totally stealing your metaphor of the brain-garden for my own nefarious devices.

[Raven Rose]

You guys are great  Here and I thought I was scared and lonely and it turns out there are lovely encouraging people   I've overhauled a little bit as I do tend to jump into things far too deep and not keep them up.  I'm sticking with the basics of being prepped for the gym the night before (whether I actually go or not, it's a good habit), training at least three times a week and eating regularly.  I'm already finding an amazing degree of energy boost just from better sleep hygiene.

 

Tomorrow I have a meeting with my therapist about going back into CBT-E and I think this is a really good base to work on that from, and that gives me someone IRL to check in.  I'm hoping I'm not committing to too much so I'll keep reflecting on what to weed, what to prune, and what to encourage to bloom.  I am so stealing this metaphor too!

[Guzzi]

Never be scared to ask for help, there are so many people on here who have been there and remember what it was like. There will always be someone willing to help xx

[Raven Rose]

4 hours ago, Guzzi said:

Never be scared to ask for help, there are so many people on here who have been there and remember what it was like. There will always be someone willing to help xx

I am ALWAYS scared of people.  Thank you though!  I know I should be braver about talking because I've come so far with hurdles like not being a recluse and going in a gym with other people in it and the sky never fell in yet... Thanks

[Basement Cat]

One of the most important things (my opinion, feel free to debate ) is not to beat yourself up and give up if you find yourself overwhelmed if you tried to do too much or you ran out of steam. Regardless of the outcome, the experience made you learn something about yourself. From that you can adjust your strategy to something better suited. That's always a plus in my book.

 

Cheers, Raven Rose! Keep us posted!

[Guzzi]

4 hours ago, Raven Rose said:

I am ALWAYS scared of people.  Thank you though!  I know I should be braver about talking because I've come so far with hurdles like not being a recluse and going in a gym with other people in it and the sky never fell in yet... Thanks

 

Have you read the thread in The Pub called "Introverts and the Terror of Talking to People" yet?

 

Im sure you'll find some like minded people in there. Maybe some good advice/strategies to help with talking to people. 

[Raven Rose]

On 12/07/2016 at 8:58 PM, Guzzi said:

 

Have you read the thread in The Pub called "Introverts and the Terror of Talking to People" yet?

 

Im sure you'll find some like minded people in there. Maybe some good advice/strategies to help with talking to people. 

Oh! No I hadn't found that... thank you!

[fitnessgurl]

I have to force myself to be social in group situations (I'm ok with one on one interactions) It's an incredible mental strain; but a necessary one. Most people can't even tell that I have social anxiety. I make sure that I have alone time though. Method to have alone time at social functions? Hide in the bathroom...it is your friend. No-one bothers you in a bathroom stall, lol. Just 5 minutes alone enables me to go back out there & be ok. I also limit my time at these functions (2-3 hours max). I no longer worry about being the first to leave a social function. I do, however, find a way to gracefully exit.