Hey Sov, i am here, sorry I am late. Lots of love!!!! xx

Hey Rookie, loving the photos, you are gorgeous and kind and loving. I can see the utter love that you have for each other, it is beautiful to see that!! ❤️    Cheering you on, always xx

Thank you. This is something I've wanted for a long time but have been too scared to do. Part of my beauty goal is to say "fuck what people think; this is what I want!"   Beautiful. I might have to paint that.

weather is nice if cold again. When your in the sun and out of the wind it is actually warm at the moment.  having a good clear up of the chaos right now. Boxes are all over the floor. It is ongoing but slow, though at least forward progress is being made.  could have gone for a swim today but am erring on the side of not overdoing it.    open my new tarot box today and the art is stunning. Here are a few of my favourites   noticed as i was flicking through them that the suits are vaguely themed along element lines. All the cups are aquatic, all the swords are birds or other flying critters. Pentangles are things like bison and ibex, wands are cats and foxes.    This is most of my 5 card spread (the past and bottom present card were a bit personal so I'm leaving them out).  the ace of wands is about having an epiphany that changes your outlook and finding new direction that allows you to grow. 8 of pentangles is about working hard and being rewarded for it.  I read the four of pentangles as “don't rest on your laurels”, which i always feel is a good thing to keep in mind after hard work brings successes.   for me these basically encapsulate the journey I've been on since jan to try and get my life into some sort of shape. Feels like cutting back the scrub to find the path at times, but its rewarding and the hard work pays off.    overall i just adore the art in this deck. It makes me want to draw so much.  (Helen Crawford as Myrtha, queen of the Wilis. In Giselle. Royal ballet,      spent the morning going through my books and throwing out even more stuff i realised id missed first go round. going to be an ongoing process it seems. i did stick my japanese rail poster up, which adore and looks so good, which id done it sooner. Feels like reclaiming the space weirdly. 

Didn't get much of anything done after church, and had another rough night.   Not going to try and do the list on my phone, but really really need to get some level of cooking done today.   Bright side of early start; I get to leave early too.

Hey all.    Saturday was ok. Didnt go to the beach on Sat. Felt too sad tbh.    My mum is annoyed at me, i can tell from tone in texts. Probably just disappointed in me.    It was fathers day here yesterday and my sister was with my mum over the weekend. Once again, i let them both down.    I just couldnt do it tho. My mental health is bad at the moment, im struggling and i couldnt be there, talking about dad and feeling anxious and stressed.    Anyway. Somehow i didnt drink, i was close this weekend. England game, stress, sadness.    But i had a zero percent beer.    Not much to say about the weekend. Every day or so, in my head i think, i need to sort my shit out. But i never do haha so frustrating. I feel paralysed until the money situation is sorted. This bastard landlord. ugh.    This week.... some meetings. Some work to do on application. Some walks with Bronze. Aiming to go to the beach on Wednesday with Rox after work. Will be my one year sober date so..... a beach trip, in the evening.    Trying to think of meals to make this week. Plus SO MUCH FOOTBALL which is great.    A little bit flat. Wish i had more positivity to share xx

Johnny rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard!   Any prior experience with bowed instruments? 

You 100% figures correctly! Thanks for tagging me, that'll be going on my payday shopping list.

It was ❤️     Thank you Sov! I sure dont feel amazing, but i will listen to you xx     Yes, a massacre wasnt it!! xx

That's an entirely fair point. Maybe it's worth just trying it to see - if you feel more hungry or tired, or less strong, then maybe you need to increase protein. If not, maybe you don't right now.     12.7lbs (about 5.75kg), which is about a 7.3% reduction in total body weight. I'd have liked a bit more, but I wasn't particularly overweight to begin with.     Yeah, that's a good point. I'll definitely get into tracking a good month before I start bulking, if not earlier, so that I know my maintenance number going into that.     This is true - it's not an all or nothing thing, as much as I usually feel like it is.