LGBTQA and Ally Safe Space

[Hit]

unless its been edited since last night, that daily mail article seems okay to me. i mean, its blowing up a story based solely on the idea of a woman being "born male", but at least it uses correct pronouns, never misgenders her or even says that she is trans. they use the term intersex in a way that seems appropriate to me. 

 

 

 

Chandler was born a male however in name only, and is actually intersex, meaning she had male genitalia, but no testicles, while also having a uterus and no ovaries. 

 

Is the applicable sentence. I hate to defend the daily mail, but i think they come out pretty even on this. not that the article needed to be written in any way, but its far from hate speech. 

[GamingPlenty]

unless its been edited since last night, that daily mail article seems okay to me. i mean, its blowing up a story based solely on the idea of a woman being "born male", but at least it uses correct pronouns, never misgenders her or even says that she is trans. they use the term intersex in a way that seems appropriate to me. 

 

 

Is the applicable sentence. I hate to defend the daily mail, but i think they come out pretty even on this. not that the article needed to be written in any way, but its far from hate speech. 

 

i agree, they just wanted to use a shocking title to get people to click on the article. i think that's kind of a dick move, but it's not because they're super ignorant the issue.

[dreamahri]

Hello, fellow asexual Virginian! I also didn't know I was asexual until college. I took Intro to Women's Studies and one day we went over different sexual orientations/identies/etc., including asexuality (disclaimer: this teacher was awesome and addressed a lot of different perspectives/experiences each day in class, it wasn't like we had one Queer Day or whatever, we just had one day where we went over definitions and such for people who didn't know them)(I always feel the need to explain because I've heard from other friends about Women's Studies classes that don't do a very good job of that). It took another four to five months for me to realize that was me, and I haven't doubted it since. The aromantic part took a little longer, but I'm pretty comfortable in both of those now. I like you're perspective on your romantic attraction, though. I'm always impressed when I meet someone who has such a reasonable and chill attitude towards attraction.

I tried to watch (A)sexual and ended up turning it off part way through, I just didn't think it did a very good job of showing a lot of diversity amongst asexuals and it showed a lot of examples of people saying kind of ignorant stuff that just upset me. Like, the guy it's mainly about (I always forget his name) did an interview on The View and the way they talked to him was making me so pissed off. It's on Netflix if you want to give it a shot, though. Maybe it gets better, tbh I didn't get that far in.

 

That makes me want to procrastinate more on actually getting around to watching the movie. It sounds like I may have the same reaction as you though. I haven't mentioned to too many of my friends that I am asexual, but the 2 I felt most comfortable telling didn't even believe me. So, I am glad even if I here that asexuals are being recognized, but I really hope they didn't just make it seem like asexuals have something against sex in general and that's it. Eh, I'll probably still watch it out of curiosity though.

[Bekah]

I have a question for those of you who identify as Asexual or Aromantic...to your knowledge/in your experience, do they seem to both occur together? Meaning are most Asexuals also Aromantic or vice versa? I have NO clue what either of those even remotely are like, I'm probably the exact opposite of both...maybe we can add a couple of O's to our alphabet soup (for Oversexualized and Overromantic)?? LOL!

[kaelvan]

That makes me want to procrastinate more on actually getting around to watching the movie. It sounds like I may have the same reaction as you though. I haven't mentioned to too many of my friends that I am asexual, but the 2 I felt most comfortable telling didn't even believe me. So, I am glad even if I here that asexuals are being recognized, but I really hope they didn't just make it seem like asexuals have something against sex in general and that's it. Eh, I'll probably still watch it out of curiosity though.

I feel stupid to ask, but do you mind explaining asexual to me? I somewhat get it, but it's still bit confusing to grasp.

[dreamahri]

I have a question for those of you who identify as Asexual or Aromantic...to your knowledge/in your experience, do they seem to both occur together? Meaning are most Asexuals also Aromantic or vice versa? I have NO clue what either of those even remotely are like, I'm probably the exact opposite of both...maybe we can add a couple of O's to our alphabet soup (for Oversexualized and Overromantic)?? LOL!

 

In my experience, most asexuals that I've met are not aromantic. However, I think there is a good mix of people who are aromantic and non-aromantic. So, they do not seem to occur together. I've met many asexuals who are hetero-romantic, homo-romantic, bi-romantic, pan-romantic etc.

 

I feel stupid to ask, but do you mind explaining asexual to me? I somewhat get it, but it's still bit confusing to grasp.

 

No need to feel stupid! A lot of people don't know what it is and it never hurts to ask! Being asexual means you are not sexually attracted to anyone. It is NOT celibacy, celibacy is a choice, but being asexual is not a choice! However, this doesn't mean asexuals do not have sex. Asexuals may still have sex for many different reasons like an agreement with their sexual partner. Asexuals also may still be interested in being in romantic relationships unless they are aromantic.

 

If anyone noticed if I said anything wrong, please correct me. I am no expert and I am not the best at explaining things   Here is a link that answers those questions better than I can!

http://www.asexuality.org/home/overview.html

[kaelvan]

In my experience, most asexuals that I've met are not aromantic. However, I think there is a good mix of people who are aromantic and non-aromantic. So, they do not seem to occur together. I've met many asexuals who are hetero-romantic, homo-romantic, bi-romantic, pan-romantic etc.

 

 

No need to feel stupid! A lot of people don't know what it is and it never hurts to ask! Being asexual means you are not sexually attracted to anyone. It is NOT celibacy, celibacy is a choice, but being asexual is not a choice! However, this doesn't mean asexuals do not have sex. Asexuals may still have sex for many different reasons like an agreement with their sexual partner. Asexuals also may still be interested in being in romantic relationships unless they are aromantic.

 

If anyone noticed if I said anything wrong, please correct me. I am no expert and I am not the best at explaining things   Here is a link that answers those questions better than I can!

http://www.asexuality.org/home/overview.html

Ok that makes more sense. Thanks

[robozebra]

That makes me want to procrastinate more on actually getting around to watching the movie. It sounds like I may have the same reaction as you though. I haven't mentioned to too many of my friends that I am asexual, but the 2 I felt most comfortable telling didn't even believe me. So, I am glad even if I here that asexuals are being recognized, but I really hope they didn't just make it seem like asexuals have something against sex in general and that's it. Eh, I'll probably still watch it out of curiosity though.

Aw, I'm sorry your friends weren't more supportive. I've only come out to my two best friends and my sister and they were all great about it. I'm trying to figure out if/how to come out to my parents, my mom already claims she's worried about me being lonely all the time or something which doesn't make any sense to me. It's not like I don't have any friends and I go out more than she does (there is a long story of issues between me and my mom behind this that I won't take up all your time on). I just don't want her to hear that I'm not interested in romance and immediately jump to I'm going to be sad and lonely for the rest of my life. Because, you know, romantic relationships are the only ones that matter. *eyeroll*

[robozebra]

I have a question for those of you who identify as Asexual or Aromantic...to your knowledge/in your experience, do they seem to both occur together? Meaning are most Asexuals also Aromantic or vice versa? I have NO clue what either of those even remotely are like, I'm probably the exact opposite of both...maybe we can add a couple of O's to our alphabet soup (for Oversexualized and Overromantic)?? LOL!

 

 

I feel stupid to ask, but do you mind explaining asexual to me? I somewhat get it, but it's still bit confusing to grasp.

Don't feel stupid for asking! And I get what you mean, tbh it was a bit confusing for me to grasp too, lol.

dreamahri pretty much covered it, the only thing I would add, re: aromantic, is having a difference in romantic and sexual orientation isn't exclusive to asexuals. LIke 99% of people's sexual and romantic orientations match, but someone can be an aromantic heterosexual, biromantic homosexual, homoromantic heterosexual, etc., etc., etc.

If you're really curious and want to read up more on it, the Asexuality Archive offers Asexuality: a Brief Introduction as a free ebook. Full disclosure: I haven't read it, but I have heard it recommended by several asexual bloggers whose opinions I trust.

[kaelvan]

Don't feel stupid for asking! And I get what you mean, tbh it was a bit confusing for me to grasp too, lol.

dreamahri pretty much covered it, the only thing I would add, re: aromantic, is having a difference in romantic and sexual orientation isn't exclusive to asexuals. LIke 99% of people's sexual and romantic orientations match, but someone can be an aromantic heterosexual, biromantic homosexual, homoromantic heterosexual, etc., etc., etc.

If you're really curious and want to read up more on it, the Asexuality Archive offers Asexuality: a Brief Introduction as a free ebook. Full disclosure: I haven't read it, but I have heard it recommended by several asexual bloggers whose opinions I trust.

I actually had to look up few of those...very interesting stuff I never knew existed.

[Bekah]

oooh I learned new words

So I'm a PanSapiosexual Demiromantic Female

ok, so PanSapiosexual isnt a real word, but I wasnt sure how to put both Pansexual and Sapiosexual in)

[Teirin]

Don't feel stupid for asking! And I get what you mean, tbh it was a bit confusing for me to grasp too, lol.

dreamahri pretty much covered it, the only thing I would add, re: aromantic, is having a difference in romantic and sexual orientation isn't exclusive to asexuals. LIke 99% of people's sexual and romantic orientations match, but someone can be an aromantic heterosexual, biromantic homosexual, homoromantic heterosexual, etc., etc., etc.

If you're really curious and want to read up more on it, the Asexuality Archive offers Asexuality: a Brief Introduction as a free ebook. Full disclosure: I haven't read it, but I have heard it recommended by several asexual bloggers whose opinions I trust.

 

I can vouch for it too.  It was one of the first things I read on asexuality and it really helped me figure things out. 

[kaelvan]

Am I the only one who gets more upset about another member of the lgbtqiagnc (or what ever alphabet soup you go with) saying (and/or doing) stupid things to another member of the community just because they don't fit a stereotype, than bunch of jack*** religious nuts doing it (even if do get upset with that)?

 

Sometimes the comment sections gets me so upset.

[Bekah]

Am I the only one who gets more upset about another member of the lgbtqiagnc (or what ever alphabet soup you go with) saying (and/or doing) stupid things to another member of the community just because they don't fit a stereotype, than bunch of jack*** religious nuts doing it (even if do get upset with that)?

 

Sometimes the comment sections gets me so upset.

That bothers me too...I'm always worried I am going to inadvertently piss people off by my ignorance, but zealots can come in any form and be part of any group...It's a human thing, not a religious, gender, class, race based issue

[kaelvan]

That bothers me too...I'm always worried I am going to inadvertently piss people off by my ignorance, but zealots can come in any form and be part of any group...It's a human thing, not a religious, gender, class, race based issue

Hope you didn't think I was saying all religious people are jack***es.

Yeah it's just my annoyance of the day. Mostly it was just me getting upset with few certain lesbians thinking all girls that feminine are "straight" and gives them the right to be serious a**es. One (for tardis' sakes) actually punched a femme lesbian in the face because she thought was a "straight" girl in a lesbian bar.

[Bekah]

Hope you didn't think I was saying all religious people are jack***es.

Yeah it's just my annoyance of the day. Mostly it was just me getting upset with few certain lesbians thinking all girls that feminine are "straight" and gives them the right to be serious a**es. One (for tardis' sakes) actually punched a femme lesbian in the face because she thought was a "straight" girl in a lesbian bar.

not at all Some PEOPLE are just assholes, gay, straight, black, white, Christian, atheist...she sounds like she fits in that category!

[shaeon]

I haven't posted in such a long time. I had a crappy week this week but things are a bit better now, so I decided to do something bold and get my hair undercut today, and now it's 1:15 a.m. and I'm dying the undercut blue. I miss you, fellow queers! 
 

 

I have a question for those of you who identify as Asexual or Aromantic...to your knowledge/in your experience, do they seem to both occur together? Meaning are most Asexuals also Aromantic or vice versa? I have NO clue what either of those even remotely are like, I'm probably the exact opposite of both...maybe we can add a couple of O's to our alphabet soup (for Oversexualized and Overromantic)?? LOL!

 

I think you and I have the O's in common.

 

 

Am I the only one who gets more upset about another member of the lgbtqiagnc (or what ever alphabet soup you go with) saying (and/or doing) stupid things to another member of the community just because they don't fit a stereotype, than bunch of jack*** religious nuts doing it (even if do get upset with that)?

 

Sometimes the comment sections gets me so upset.

 

I get far more upset at us being jerks than at them being jerks. Something I frequently see is that the B and the T don't get a fair shake as often in the LGBT community. I can't stand to hear people talk shit about bisexuals and I get FURIOUS if someone tells me not to date a bi girl (never tell me who I can date!). I see more situations where other members of the community don't have a lot of understanding about trans people, and I can forgive ignorance more than aggression. Willful ignorance, however, also annoys me. 

But I love that here, I've seen people being really open minded and willing to ask and learn. This is a great community we've got going.

Well it's so late that even my cats have gone to bed. I think I'm about to rinse this out and see what I've done. 

[Bekah]

I haven't posted in such a long time. I had a crappy week this week but things are a bit better now, so I decided to do something bold and get my hair undercut today, and now it's 1:15 a.m. and I'm dying the undercut blue. I miss you, fellow queers! 

 

 

 

I think you and I have the O's in common.

 

 

 

I get far more upset at us being jerks than at them being jerks. Something I frequently see is that the B and the T don't get a fair shake as often in the LGBT community. I can't stand to hear people talk shit about bisexuals and I get FURIOUS if someone tells me not to date a bi girl (never tell me who I can date!). I see more situations where other members of the community don't have a lot of understanding about trans people, and I can forgive ignorance more than aggression. Willful ignorance, however, also annoys me. 

But I love that here, I've seen people being really open minded and willing to ask and learn. This is a great community we've got going.

Well it's so late that even my cats have gone to bed. I think I'm about to rinse this out and see what I've done.

between the blue hair and the matching O's I like you

[robozebra]

Am I the only one who gets more upset about another member of the lgbtqiagnc (or what ever alphabet soup you go with) saying (and/or doing) stupid things to another member of the community just because they don't fit a stereotype, than bunch of jack*** religious nuts doing it (even if do get upset with that)?

 

Sometimes the comment sections gets me so upset.

Nope, not at all. It's frustrating because you kind of expect someone who is LGBTQ+ to be more aware that of stuff so it's disappointing to find out that's not the case. Or at least that's how I feel. Not that everyone shouldn't know better, but you know what I mean.

I've actually discussed this with a few people in regards to diversity in television (I want to write for television someday so I get into a lot of tv-analysis conversations, lol). When a show that is sort of low brow or offensive or just plain bad has an all straight white cast, it doesn't get quite as much of a vocally angry reation as a show that has one or two minority characters. It's that frustration that they started to care, so they obviously know there's a problem, but just didn't go far enough. Not exactly the same situation, but similar.

[Bekah]

aaaaaand...im sorry you had a crappy week

[shaeon]

between the blue hair and the matching O's I like you

I like you too! And the week is getting better now. I really like the new haircut. I did a blend from blue to purple, and it turned out good. When it was done, my immediate reaction was "I'm a peacock!"

[Vella]

Agreed - people who can demonstrate that they should know better will always annoy me more than ignorant a-holes because, well ... now you need to make an effort to continue to be ignorant, and that's frustrating.

 

Also, and entirely off-topic, ooo, blue hair!  I've been experimenting with haircuts (by which I mean I miscommunicated with a hairdresser and ended up with something that was probably better than what I had in mind anyway). Not sure I'm quite up to colours, but maybe one day!

[SevenofSeven]

I just shave my head, I have no imagination.

[Bekah]

I had rainbow streaks once, but something in the dyes makes me very ill, so It was like I had morning sickness for six months!! I am toying with the idea of just coloring the ends and wonder if that would have the same effect, and have been meaning to ask my mom (she is a hairdresser by trade) although I'd still have to pay someone to do it bc well, my mom only does what she thinks I should get done to my hair!

[robozebra]

I used to dye my hair a dark red color but I got tired of keeping it up so I just let it grow out. I had the most awful two-toned hair for a while until I finally got the last bit cut off. I really should have just dyed it my natural color (dark brown), especially since I have really curly hair and keep it long so it took forever to grow out. I've thought about doing a few strands in crazy pastel colors, especially if I can get my hair to behave and have like one pink curl, one blue curl, one purple curl, etc. mixed in with the brown ones. Someday I'll try it.