MEN ONLY THREAD part two

[Kage]

Not sure where to put this, so here goes:

 

Lately I've been feeling a strange kind of identity crisis. Identity flux? I didn't grow up with sports. I hated sports and everything they represented. I'm not only starting to like reading about them, but exercise is even making me feel.... well, more like a guy, I guess. I feel masculine for the first time in my life. It's... odd.

 

I've never felt like a guy before. I always felt like a fat, nerdy gay boy. An outsider. I don't know what to do with this emerging sense of self. I certainly don't know how to embrace it.

 

Has anyone gone through this? How did you embrace who you became?

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Nothing on the level of what you described, but I have found that the confidence I gained from getting stronger through working out helped me be more confident and therefore more true to my authentic self. Enjoy the confidence and remember that who you are is something deeper than adjectives. The nerd part isn't going to change, at least it probably won't if you hang around here. The fat part hopefully will. You're gonna stay a dude. Sexual orientation isn't about identity, it's about who you find attractive. Gay isn't who you are any more than straight is who I am. Who you are is a good man who is learning to feel good about himself, possibly for the first time ever. Just enjoy liking who you are, the other stuff will come.

[Mark D]

7 hours ago, Kage said:

Not sure where to put this, so here goes:

 

Lately I've been feeling a strange kind of identity crisis. Identity flux? I didn't grow up with sports. I hated sports and everything they represented. I'm not only starting to like reading about them, but exercise is even making me feel.... well, more like a guy, I guess. I feel masculine for the first time in my life. It's... odd.

 

I've never felt like a guy before. I always felt like a fat, nerdy gay boy. An outsider. I don't know what to do with this emerging sense of self. I certainly don't know how to embrace it.

 

Has anyone gone through this? How did you embrace who you became?

 

In simple terms, we don't come with manuals, and we ALL make it up as we go along.  Sometimes our expectations don't match reality, and we dare not say that the reality is wrong.  Interests change over time.  Books/games/movies I enjoyed decades ago would bore me now (and  in my case "decades" doesn't take me back to see-Spot-run/Candy Land/Peanuts either).  

 

 

 

 

 

[CharlieBoston]

On 8/5/2016 at 1:27 AM, Kage said:

Not sure where to put this, so here goes:

 

Lately I've been feeling a strange kind of identity crisis. Identity flux? I didn't grow up with sports. I hated sports and everything they represented. I'm not only starting to like reading about them, but exercise is even making me feel.... well, more like a guy, I guess. I feel masculine for the first time in my life. It's... odd.

 

I've never felt like a guy before. I always felt like a fat, nerdy gay boy. An outsider. I don't know what to do with this emerging sense of self. I certainly don't know how to embrace it.

 

Has anyone gone through this? How did you embrace who you became?

It's been said that regular exercise can raise testosterone levels, which could account for the feeling of masculinity. 

[MissoulaSquatch]

Becoming more fit can also lead to a boost in self-confidence.  A lot of us, because of how nerdy we were growing up, have never had much experience with confidence before.  As it grows you will feel a shift in interests as a result, things you used to be scared of trying you might find more intriguing now.  Growing up, I wasn't much into exercise, I mean I was a runner but that was it..lifting weights? Hell no, lol.  I used to hate being outside too, nature was icky.  The more I've gotten into shape, the more these shift..I'm pretty much a gym rat now, I go in for 2+ hour lifting sessions.  I moved to the mountains to spend time outside and hike more.  The more confident I get the more I want to try things that used to scare me and I'm becoming a completely new person.

[Mark D]

Just because it's always a good time to quote Dave Barry:

 

"Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically."

 

 

[Frost of the Gloaming]

If I bring down my goatee to a 1 or 2 that counts as shaving it off right?

[Draegon (Liam P Boyle)]

2 hours ago, Frost of the Gloaming said:

If I bring down my goatee to a 1 or 2 that counts as shaving it off right?

Why on earth would you want to do that?  I'm letting mine grow out until I hit a length of Archwizard, or Chinese sage at a minimum.

[Frost of the Gloaming]

To make a fresh start, but I don't want to get rid of it, made a vow 4years ago that I was never shaving again

[Draegon (Liam P Boyle)]

Okay, I can understand that I would go down to a 2 and go from there.

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

Resubbing, it has dropped from me feed.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Frost of the Gloaming]

Anyone else go from being a skinny twerp (long distance cross country frame) to being a thick monster; how did you deal with the scale?

[turboseize]

Quote

Anyone else go from being a skinny twerp (long distance cross country frame) to being a thick monster; how did you deal with the scale?

I'm 1.9m tall. I went from 72kg (@~7%body fat) at the age of 17 to 114kg at 33. (No, I don't know my body fat percentage then, nor my current. But considering the belly I had, it was way to high.) I'm fluctuating between 100 and 105 now. I never was concerned with the weight. Only with what this  weight was composed of. Actually, I had all my teen years and early 20s tried to gain mass, rather unsuccessfully. It was not until I learned to completely ignore the "looks" and just train for strength that I took on a bit of muscle. A desk job and injured achilles tendons (prohibiting any cardio except swimming for several years) however were much more effective in adding "mass"... Unfortunately, that newly gained mass was only to some part muscle, to the major degree fat. When I reached 114kg a friend of my wife took a rather unflattering photo of me when we where hiking in the Alps. That was the point when I decied I definitely had to cut... But it was not the weight I was annoyed of, it was my shape! I had consistently become stronger and was moving heavier weights than ever before, but my increase in body fat had ever outpaced the increase in strength.
After I took the decision to cut, I lost 10kg in 6 months, all while preserving, in some exercises even improving my strength. So I guess most if not all of that weight loss was indeed pure fat. I am pretty sure I was succesfull in cutting (just as in gaining before) because I mostly ignored both scale and mirror and instead just focused on athletic performance. More reps completed with the same weight, more weight moved with the same reps, but now (for the first time in years, as the achilles tendons had finally healed) also longer distances run, longer distances rowed, faster lap times....  all that kind of stuff. If I was doing better in this, I felt better; and as long as my performance improved, I would also always suddenly notice I could wear trousers again that had gotten to small... after all, Form follows function. 
I still could lose some belly fat. At least I'd look better without the life belt around my waist.  But then, my current weight is something I would have considered "ideal" 15-20 years ago. (All the guys going to the world championships and the Olympics in my sport, that I admired and that I was jealous of when I was young,  were about 1.9m to 2.05m tall and weighed upward of 90 kg). And I'd have no problem should my weight one day go back up to 114kg or beyond; I just would not want the extra weight to useless weight - that is fat. Because the weight on the scale is just a number. What matters is what the weight comes from and what your body is capable of - 110kg @15%body fat (to me) is much more desirable than 90kg@30%.
But again: I am not obsessed with body fat percentage. See, when I weighed 70kg, I would pull 380watt for 6 minutes on a Concept II indoor rower. That means 5.42 watt/kg of body weight, which was not bad at all. But I would lose all the races to the chubby guys weighing 100kg and pulling 400watt. They only pulled 4 watt/kg, but still, 400>380. I had a sixpack, they didn't, but with comparable technical skill in the boat, they would win the medals (and the girls) and I wouldn't. So... as longs as your body get's the job done that you want it to do, everything is ok.

One side note:
Being a fat blob has obviously impaired my running performance and my athletic performance in a lot of other aspects, too, but there is also one advantage I noted: gaining muscle and strength felt much easier when I was thick than back in the day when I was ripped. 

[Frost of the Gloaming]

Yea I just got to get used to being a "monster" and working on becoming more of one; my goal for 2017 is to kick ass at Obstacle mud run (think Spartan but local) and find a cheaper half marathon.

[insanity]

On 10/4/2016 at 3:25 PM, Frost of the Gloaming said:

Anyone else go from being a skinny twerp (long distance cross country frame) to being a thick monster; how did you deal with the scale?

Cross country to powerlifter here...I ignored the scale, I would use it for BF percentage, but never really paid much attention to the weight since I knew that was gonna go up...

[Frost of the Gloaming]

Yea I think I'm going to embrace it, find a Lucha mask and have some fun with the skinny young kids that think they are going to be the next Dean Ambrose (whoever is popular) CROSS FACE CHICKEN WINGS FOR EVERYONE!!!!!! 

[Kage]

Anyone here go from lifelong fatkid to trim and lean?

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

3 hours ago, Kage said:

Anyone here go from lifelong fatkid to trim and lean?

I'm working on it. I have an easier time building muscle than burning fat.

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

On 10/16/2016 at 5:38 AM, Kage said:

Anyone here go from lifelong fatkid to trim and lean?

 

On 10/16/2016 at 8:39 AM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I'm working on it. I have an easier time building muscle than burning fat.

 

Same here. I got fat in college, fell in love with lifting 5 years ago but got addicted to the bulk. Still trying to figure out how to lean out without eating so little that I get the spins. Need to fix my sleep, I know that's key.

[Frost of the Gloaming]

it's all about the workout, eat, work, life schedule

 

 

really I have come to the conclusion that nearly all of us do not need to work 8+hrs a day with the technological advances that have occurred in our life time. In the print shop I used to have to do this process that would take 2hrs for a certain print job to be done, now it's down to 45 mins

 

 

[Luds]

On 10/16/2016 at 10:38 AM, Kage said:

Anyone here go from lifelong fatkid to trim and lean?

yup, always been the fatkid/obese uncle.

like the other lads... on my way; looking to turn more fat into muscle to keep bulk. Like the feel of it.. ...erm.. ah, you know what i mean.

 

Find it interesting how different you're treated by society/"the world" just based on the different body image. Was clear all along on an intellectual level, but.. damn...  (/cynic-gnome on my shoulder flicks my earlobe and snorts "Told you.") 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[wildross]

yup, always been the fatkid/obese uncle.

like the other lads... on my way; looking to turn more fat into muscle to keep bulk. Like the feel of it.. ...erm.. ah, you know what i mean.

 

Find it interesting how different you're treated by society/"the world" just based on the different body image. Was clear all along on an intellectual level, but.. damn...  (/cynic-gnome on my shoulder flicks my earlobe and snorts "Told you.") 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A lot of random women touch me on the shoulders. Airline attendants, waitresses, etc

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[Frost of the Gloaming]

a lady at work was having issue with her shoe so I held out my arm so she could use it for balance, I got an "Ohhh" that made me feel good

 

 

[Frost of the Gloaming]

because this is where I think I will get the most replies; I just saw that Goldberg is coming back to wrestle Brock Lesnar. If this was 10+ years ago I would be excited. However if they could do a cross promotion I would pay to see Matanza Cueto vs Lesnar

 

Matanza Cueto;

 

[Mark D]

On 10/16/2016 at 5:38 AM, Kage said:

Anyone here go from lifelong fatkid to trim and lean?

 

By no means trim and lean yet, but getting there.

 

I got a look from a co-worker the other day when I carried the 5 gallon water bottle to the water cooler to replace it, like I was carrying a suitcase (they have handles).  Hey, 5 gallons of water weights about 40 pounds, and it's a plastic bottle which doesn't weigh much.  The day i can't suitcase-walk 40 pounds they might as well stick me in a box and throw dirt on me.  My biggest worry was that the handle would break off.

 

I've had a couple co-workers comment on my weight loss, and it feels good.  Unlike the others here, I don't get extra attention from the ladies.  Of course I've always been oblivious to women flirting with me anyway, so maybe I just don't get notice it.  I've always joked that if a woman threw her underwear at me, with herself still inside them,I might think she was trying to get my attention.

 

Which brings up a memory.  I have a leather wide-brimmed hat I wear when it rains (I hate umbrellas, I'd much rather wear a hat and a jacket if it's raining.).  It kinda looks cowboy-ish, but other than that I was wearing chinos and a polo-shirt, so the only thing faintly cowboy-ish was the hat.  I had time before my train one evening and stopped for a beer, a young lady at the bar asked me if I were a "real cowboy".  Mind you, this was in Hoboken, NJ, not exactly cowboy-central.  When I told my wife about it (in a how-silly-was-she, thinking I was a cowboy way) she said "Mark, she was flirting."  Duh.