Artinum Posted December 20, 2014 Report Share Posted December 20, 2014 Not so much a joke as a puzzle, but it's got a mathematical-type bent to it. Secret agent James Bond is hidden outside the enemy base, watching the front entrance. He knows that, even in his stolen uniform, he'll be captured if he doesn't give the correct password. So he waits. Eventually one of the enemy agents approaches the guard at the gate. "Twelve!" states the guard on the gate."Six!" replies the agent. The door opens, and he's allowed in. Bond checks he has everything and is about to emerge when a second agent arrives. Bond quickly hides again. "Six!" states the guard on the gate. Bond is horrified. The password is different every time! "Three!" replies the agent. Ah, thinks Bond. I've worked out the pattern. The answer must be half the first number. Once the coast is clear, he approaches the gate. "Three!" states the guard."One and a half!" smiles Bond. The alarms sound, and armed guards usher him inside for interrogation... What is the pattern, and what should the correct answer have been? Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
tenaciousglee Posted December 20, 2014 Report Share Posted December 20, 2014 Five! 1 Quote Level 32 Minifig Jedi Assassin Current Challenge | Battle Log | "Epic" Quest Previous Challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 11.5, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34 "A man who wants to do something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." -Stephan Dolley, Jr. "You don't get stronger by skipping workouts." - me, to myself, about 3 times a week Link to comment
Artinum Posted December 20, 2014 Report Share Posted December 20, 2014 Five! Correct! Now then, class, who can tell me why?Curiously, the response to four is also four. Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
Guzzi Posted December 21, 2014 Report Share Posted December 21, 2014 I bought some shoes from a drug dealer other other day. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk 4 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted December 21, 2014 Report Share Posted December 21, 2014 Correct! Now then, class, who can tell me why?Curiously, the response to four is also four.Ok, someone PLEASE post the answer to this. I can't work it out and it's killing me!!!Sent from my stoopid phone which hates me I swear. Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
wildross Posted December 21, 2014 Report Share Posted December 21, 2014 Ok, someone PLEASE post the answer to this. I can't work it out and it's killing me!!!Sent from my stoopid phone which hates me I swear.Count the letters in the challenge from the guard Quote Warriors don't count reps and sets. They count tons. My psychologist weighs 45 pounds, has an iron soul and sits on the end of a bar Tally Sheet for 2019 Encouragement for older members: Chronologically Blessed Group; Encouragement for newbie lifters: When we were weaker Link to comment
Guzzi Posted December 21, 2014 Report Share Posted December 21, 2014 Ugh!!!!! Here's me racking my brain thinking it's got something to do with curves (six is three, four is four, three is five) but you need to know at least one more tangent to work out the answer. You mean trickster Artinum! "It's got a mathematical element..." That was plain old sneaky! Sent from my stoopid phone which hates me I swear. 2 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Artinum Posted December 21, 2014 Report Share Posted December 21, 2014 You have to count letters. That's mathematical, isn't it...? :-P Here's an easy one for you, then. What do Attila the Hun and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
Guzzi Posted December 21, 2014 Report Share Posted December 21, 2014 Errrrrr......Sent from my stoopid phone which hates me I swear. Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted December 21, 2014 Report Share Posted December 21, 2014 Errrrr..... Sent from my stoopid phone which hates me I swear. Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted December 21, 2014 Report Share Posted December 21, 2014 I thought you said this was easy!!!!Sent from my stoopid phone which hates me I swear. Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
tenaciousglee Posted December 21, 2014 Report Share Posted December 21, 2014 You have to count letters. That's mathematical, isn't it...? :-PHere's an easy one for you, then. What do Attila the Hun and Winnie the Pooh have in common?Same middle name? 2 Quote Level 32 Minifig Jedi Assassin Current Challenge | Battle Log | "Epic" Quest Previous Challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 11.5, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34 "A man who wants to do something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." -Stephan Dolley, Jr. "You don't get stronger by skipping workouts." - me, to myself, about 3 times a week Link to comment
Artinum Posted December 21, 2014 Report Share Posted December 21, 2014 Same middle name? Correct! I said it was easy! Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
Guzzi Posted December 21, 2014 Report Share Posted December 21, 2014 Groan! That is awful!Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 Groan! That is awful! Quick story about groaners. My son and I were driving home from a local collegiate basketball game on Friday and we were discussing types of jokes and some joke theory in the car (as you do). We were talking about groaner type jokes and how it's really about who tells it and how they're told that makes a joke. I asked him why he thought when I tell a "Bear Joke" I get groans for a reply and why when he tells one, he gets full on laughter. He didn't miss a beat when he said "Because I'm cuter than you are". It wasn't said with malicious intent, and I almost had to pull over from laughing so hard. JJ gets it. 2 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Artinum Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 Quick story about groaners. My son and I were driving home from a local collegiate basketball game on Friday and we were discussing types of jokes and some joke theory in the car (as you do). We were talking about groaner type jokes and how it's really about who tells it and how they're told that makes a joke. I asked him why he thought when I tell a "Bear Joke" I get groans for a reply and why when he tells one, he gets full on laughter. He didn't miss a beat when he said "Because I'm cuter than you are". It wasn't said with malicious intent, and I almost had to pull over from laughing so hard. JJ gets it. Now this reminds me of something that Scott Adams wrote about humour. I forget the exact details, but he basically said there were six types of humour in his cartoons - puns/wordplay, cuteness (little doggies, etc), evil, broken logic, rudeness (lewd comments, etc) and I forget the last one. Hey, I read this years ago. The key thing is - any one of these on its own is not funny. A pun, for instance, is groan-worthy. You need to combine it with another dimension. Scott's example was that the "evil" aspect (say, your company selling employees as slave labour) wouldn't be funny by itself - but if it's being suggested by a cute little doggie, it works. For JJ, the "cute" aspect is built in, so any pun or broken logic he comes up with is automatically funnier than if you or I do it. This is also why innuendo works - it's a combination of rudeness and puns/wordplay. 1 Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
MetalPinata Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 My brother just sent me a bad joke I felt I needed to share: Q: How did the hipster burn his tongue? A: He drank coffee before it was cool. 1 Quote Link to comment
Dleffe Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 When a woman is depressed/angry, hug her and tell her how beautifull she is. If she starts to growl, back of to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her. Quote Link to comment
redtomato501 Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 Not so much a joke as a puzzle, but it's got a mathematical-type bent to it. [...] What is the pattern, and what should the correct answer have been? Ah yes... I don't know it as a Bond story, but as a pure puzzle, four is cosmic. Pissed a lot of people off with it - tell them to guess a number, and then work down from there, such asTwelve! Twelve is six, six is three, three is five, five is four, four is cosmic!Twenty-one! Twenty-one is nine, nine is four, four is cosmic!Some of my less-puzzle-inclined friends still hate me for this! That, and the "I like kittens but I don't like cats" puzzle! Quote Current Challenge #39 - 15.02.23 | Challenges: #38, #29 | Fitocracy: redtomato501 Link to comment
redtomato501 Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 When a woman is depressed/angry, hug her and tell her how beautifull she is. If she starts to growl, back of to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her. Some one did this to me, I'd quickly become conditioned to growl any time I want chocolate (read: all the time). 1 Quote Current Challenge #39 - 15.02.23 | Challenges: #38, #29 | Fitocracy: redtomato501 Link to comment
Artinum Posted January 3, 2015 Report Share Posted January 3, 2015 That, and the "I like kittens but I don't like cats" puzzle! You may have to explain that one. It gave me paws. 1 Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
Juni0r83 Posted January 4, 2015 Report Share Posted January 4, 2015 You may have to explain that one. It gave me paws.Terrible...Is it possibly that the answer is they like rabbits? Quote Dwarf Warrior I am today what I made myself yesterday, I will be tomorrow what I make of myself today. Current challenge: Juni0r83 works on his Schedule-Fu Previous challenge: Juni0r83 re-evaluates and refocuses Link to comment
alienjenn Posted January 4, 2015 Report Share Posted January 4, 2015 They like tribbles too Quote Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting "doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom facebook battle log level 50 WOOT Backstory CNF2014 current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time) Spoiler * This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda * There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. * level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom * I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ... - I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move Link to comment
Artinum Posted January 4, 2015 Report Share Posted January 4, 2015 Hedgehogs? Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
Bearded_Dragon Posted January 6, 2015 Report Share Posted January 6, 2015 How does Captain Hook steer his ship when he goes below deck? He puts it on auto-pirate! 6 Quote Link to comment
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