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Introverts, Social Misfits and the Terror of Talking to People


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My job requires me to be nice to people all day and help them with all their last minute questions. (Sorry, your negligence is not my emergency.) And while I really do like being nice to people, and am a nice person... it's really exhausting. And I'm only, like, 11% introverted, according to the Myers-Briggs test thingy. I can't imagine how exhausting this must be for people who are really introverted.

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My job requires me to be nice to people all day and help them with all their last minute questions. (Sorry, your negligence is not my emergency.) And while I really do like being nice to people, and am a nice person... it's really exhausting. And I'm only, like, 11% introverted, according to the Myers-Briggs test thingy. I can't imagine how exhausting this must be for people who are really introverted.

 

I just retook the test and got ISTJ.  44% introverted, but I don't feel "that" worn out with social interactions, but then again, I do wake up after 2 hours at the house after work.  

May Br0din bless you with mighty gains, and may your shaker bottle always be full.

Wheymen

 

...and, if you die...  Walk it off - Captain America

 

Level 13: 1/4 Giant Warrior

STR - 50 | DEX - 19 | STA - 19 | CON - 14 | WIS - 28 | CHA - 24

My food logging is here*: MFP: tyrsnbdr

 

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I'm fortunate to work amongst the absolute worst of society and, generally speaking, really don't have to be any more nice than "barely civil/polite" on a given day.

 

It's the secret to my success, really.

[Level ??] Rurik, the Thunderer

Class: Stormborn War-Shaman (Path of Giants Barbarian/Conquest Paladin/Elemental Domain Cleric)

BRUTALITY 11 | FINESSE 10 | VIGOR 11 | INSIGHT 14 | WILL 13

Equipment:  Studded leather armor, war club, plus adventurer's pack containing rations, rope, and nature-based potions. 

 

"Rangers have to at least give up on pants. It's a special rule we enacted after Rurik became a Guild Leader.” – DarK_RaideR

"Did I just get my ass kicked by a member of Metallica meets History Channel's Vikings?" - Wild Wolf

"By the Well-Oiled-and-Meticulously-Groomed Beard of Rurik!" - Tanktimus the Encourager

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Do you guys feel like you are Dexter?

 

No. Never felt like killing anybody. When I had a girlfriend though, I felt a bit like him in that I didn't know how to be genuine or sincere toward her at all. However I did care for her.

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Do I feel like Dexter?

Not really. Although I suppose it depends on how you mean. I'm not emotionally neutral, or a psychopath (sociopaths are reclassed I think).

I just have the same default setting. I can wear a mask most of the time, but it really does drain.

I also spend way too much time contemplating, which has its own problems.

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If I remember correctly Dexter had schizoid personality disorder and homicidal tendencies. As shown throught the books and tv show he does feel emotions and limited empathy for certain people. In that respect I feel similar to him. I have enough signs of SPD to diagnose (along with sereval other disorders) but if I remember correctly it was declassified as a mental illness.

Also on the Myers-Briggs test I score between 98 and 100 percent introverted.

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I'm always amazed at introverted people who can play extroverted. I've known quite a few people who seem incredibly outgoing, but will confide that they hate it, find it exhausting, or feel incredibly awkward.

 

I feel like I come off as shy, awkward, and thanks to my "bitchy resting face" like I'm unhappy around people 100% of the time. Trying to look happy (for the benefit of others, or simply not to hear "what's wrong?") is so incredibly exhausting for me.

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I'm always amazed at introverted people who can play extroverted. I've known quite a few people who seem incredibly outgoing, but will confide that they hate it, find it exhausting, or feel incredibly awkward.

 

I feel like I come off as shy, awkward, and thanks to my "bitchy resting face" like I'm unhappy around people 100% of the time. Trying to look happy (for the benefit of others, or simply not to hear "what's wrong?") is so incredibly exhausting for me.

 

It took me a couple acting classes, a few jobs that demands public speaking and presence, and observing people. I am good at noticing subtle moves people do when they express care and affection toward others, and I imitate them (most of the time I do care for people-- I just am awkward and shy.)

 

Genetically too, I have that round eyes with deep toasty color that people associate with breakfast food and drinks. Those and I train my eyes to try to describe people's eye colors in very specific ways throughout lighting changes-- that makes me look like I always search for their souls with intense curiosity (at least I hope it look that way-- not just creepy). It's also fun for me, and disengage me from my anxiety of being around people.  

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I can do public presentations, playing extroverted, when the topic is something that I know inside and out. I get super nervous beforehand but then end up doing a great job and people come up and tell me how helpful it was and that I do a good job explaining generally non-understandable stuff. I'm an accountant who loves to make fun of accounting and accountants so I think they appreciate that. But then after the presentations I am pretty beat. There's kind of a high and then I crash a bit.

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2016 goals: Hit goal weight. Build muscle.

2015 goals: Get stronger, stop loathing squats and get better at them - DONE!!!

2014 goal: Lose 52.5 lbs. - DONE!!! 12/13/14

 

MFP

 

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Which one? If you mean the guy with the secret lab and the annoying sister, I often have...

 

I"m too old for the secret lab one.

 

I can do public presentations, playing extroverted, when the topic is something that I know inside and out. I get super nervous beforehand but then end up doing a great job and people come up and tell me how helpful it was and that I do a good job explaining generally non-understandable stuff. I'm an accountant who loves to make fun of accounting and accountants so I think they appreciate that. But then after the presentations I am pretty beat. There's kind of a high and then I crash a bit.

 

Me too,  I can enjoyably fake the funk if the topic is right,  (I can give a dissertation on football and fantasy football) I can be nice and charming to people I don't know, cause I can pull out my (now) rehearsed "how to met new people topic list,"  where I fail is the prolonged friendship phase.  WE know each other, now I have to make a meaningful engagement and I have nothing else to say.  This part drives the wife absolutely ape shit.  

May Br0din bless you with mighty gains, and may your shaker bottle always be full.

Wheymen

 

...and, if you die...  Walk it off - Captain America

 

Level 13: 1/4 Giant Warrior

STR - 50 | DEX - 19 | STA - 19 | CON - 14 | WIS - 28 | CHA - 24

My food logging is here*: MFP: tyrsnbdr

 

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I feel like I come off as shy, awkward, and thanks to my "bitchy resting face" like I'm unhappy around people 100% of the time. Trying to look happy (for the benefit of others, or simply not to hear "what's wrong?") is so incredibly exhausting for me.

 

 

Gaaaah! THIS! This happens to me all the time. Are you okay? Are you angry? Are you upset with me? Do you dislike me? Are you bored?

 

NO. I just don't feel like putting effort into my facial muscles, okay. I'm really happy, look:

 

hqdefault.jpg

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Me too,  I can enjoyably fake the funk if the topic is right,  (I can give a dissertation on football and fantasy football) I can be nice and charming to people I don't know, cause I can pull out my (now) rehearsed "how to met new people topic list,"  where I fail is the prolonged friendship phase.  WE know each other, now I have to make a meaningful engagement and I have nothing else to say.  This part drives the wife absolutely ape shit.  

 

I'm a very "out of sight out of mind" person so I'm terrible about long term friendships with people I don't see often. I have zero contact with my friends from college because none of them are active on FB. As for high school friends, I keep up with a few because they are on FB but most of my closest friends from back then are not so, again, zero contact. The only person from high school with whom I have any sort of real relationship is my husband, which is easy since we see each other every day. I actually had a close friend from high school write me a letter during college criticizing me for not keeping up with her and writing her letters more when we were in college and then she wanted to know what she did wrong. I wanted to say "it's not personal, I treat everybody like that" but that didn't seem like a good defense so I just didn't respond at all.

  • Like 1

2016 goals: Hit goal weight. Build muscle.

2015 goals: Get stronger, stop loathing squats and get better at them - DONE!!!

2014 goal: Lose 52.5 lbs. - DONE!!! 12/13/14

 

MFP

 

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I have a soul-sucking job that I absolutely hate.

 

Just kidding. I can't even get past an interview.

 

Honestly, I should take it as a sign.  If I get past the interview, it's clearly a job I don't want.

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I'm a very "out of sight out of mind" person so I'm terrible about long term friendships with people I don't see often. I have zero contact with my friends from college because none of them are active on FB. As for high school friends, I keep up with a few because they are on FB but most of my closest friends from back then are not so, again, zero contact. The only person from high school with whom I have any sort of real relationship is my husband, which is easy since we see each other every day. I actually had a close friend from high school write me a letter during college criticizing me for not keeping up with her and writing her letters more when we were in college and then she wanted to know what she did wrong. I wanted to say "it's not personal, I treat everybody like that" but that didn't seem like a good defense so I just didn't respond at all.

 

I'm the same way, I have 0 contact with my HS friends cause social media didn't exist when I graduated.  I kept in contact with my college friends, but only through AIM then facebook (and I was the last one to be on it.)  But I don't really FB, so...  I can contact them if I want and them me, but it never happens.  My "Best" Friend (that's not my wife) is a co commissioner in my fantasy football league, so that forces us to communicate.  We also played SWTOR together, but I had to quit it for money reasons.  

May Br0din bless you with mighty gains, and may your shaker bottle always be full.

Wheymen

 

...and, if you die...  Walk it off - Captain America

 

Level 13: 1/4 Giant Warrior

STR - 50 | DEX - 19 | STA - 19 | CON - 14 | WIS - 28 | CHA - 24

My food logging is here*: MFP: tyrsnbdr

 

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I had a horrible awkward social interaction that I have not had to deal with since I left school. Someone calling out on me being quiet. I don't understand what people expect from this, as though I'll just switch on my chatty switch. I suppose I should be happy that i have gone so long without such conversation but all it did was make me want to hide back in my shell.

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Previous challenges:7, 6 5, 4,  3. 2, 1

 

 

 

 

I am the one thing in life I can control

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True, that's how I've dealt with it in the past, and I have become quite comfortable with my quietness and my social anxiety is nearly non-existent. This time just caught me off guard and was done in front of a group who were clearly talking about me before I joined them.

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Current Challenge

 

Previous challenges:7, 6 5, 4,  3. 2, 1

 

 

 

 

I am the one thing in life I can control

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I had a horrible awkward social interaction that I have not had to deal with since I left school. Someone calling out on me being quiet. I don't understand what people expect from this, as though I'll just switch on my chatty switch. I suppose I should be happy that i have gone so long without such conversation but all it did was make me want to hide back in my shell.

I still hear that every few months or so. I don't understand what people expect me to say in return. Some vlogger somewhere referred to statements like "You're tall." as setting you up for a failed interaction. I wholeheartedly agree. Don't make me out to be the awkward one when you're just saying things that are true and expecting a response.

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I had a horrible awkward social interaction that I have not had to deal with since I left school. Someone calling out on me being quiet. I don't understand what people expect from this, as though I'll just switch on my chatty switch. I suppose I should be happy that i have gone so long without such conversation but all it did was make me want to hide back in my shell.

 

They don't expect anything. =)

Maybe they hope that you will turn "normal" immediately.

 

But you are normal.. =)

 

I would react with irony like: " You are the very first to notice that" or "Yes. I'm glad you noticed"

Sentences like these are no real openers of a conversation. So they are not worth worrying about answers or expectations ;)

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Fate whispers to the warrior: "You cannot withstand the storm."

 The warrior whispers back:
 "
I am the storm."

 

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