Weight loss and self image

[Storm_Ike]

Is anybody else having trouble with this I've lost 35lbs and I seem to have a lot of trouble telling the difference. I was always told that once I lost weight, I would feel better, more energized but I really don't. I never seem to like what I see in the mirror at all and the more the scale tells me I lose, the more frustrated I get because I'm apparently the only person who cannot see a difference, in pictures and in the mirror. 

[spiderdust44]

Have you tried measuring? Arms, waist, hips, wrist, etc... A lot of people hear base progress that way. The eyes can be fooled and the scale does lie

[Storm_Ike]

Have you tried measuring? Arms, waist, hips, wrist, etc... A lot of people hear base progress that way. The eyes can be fooled and the scale does lie

I actually have. Mostly just waist. Dropped 3 inches, 35lbs, yet my eyes are still seeing the same thing, even in pics. I figured you'd start seeing or feeling something around the 20lb mark but no...

[Bearded_Dragon]

Well done for losing 35lbs! That's mega!

 

Do you mind if I ask what your starting weight was? That can make a difference as to when you might start to perceive the difference. Also, have you compared photos of before you started to now? A lot of the time, when you lose weight it comes off in the weirdest places first, rather than the places you kind of want it to. 

 

It can be really difficult to notice the difference in yourself, both in the mirror and in the way you feel, especially if it's been a gradual loss of weight. I'm all too aware of the difference between what we look like and what we perceive ourselves to look like and sometimes we need to do more than just increase our physical wellbeing. If you're seeing the same person in pictures of before & after then it seems to me like there's something deeper going on. 

 

I'd like to encourage you to a) keep doing what you're doing, 35lbs is a huge achievement and one you should be very proud of, and you're clearly doing something that works! 2) think about maybe getting some support (counselling or something like that) to talk/think through what's behind the way you see yourself. I've found CBT to be a big help (even the "CBT For Dummies" book). And also, if other people are noticing a difference, trust them! People generally don't say that kind of stuff unless they can actually see a difference. 

 

You've done amazingly well, keep it up. We're all cheering for you and we're here to support you too. 

[Ahoythar]

I know how you feel. My own self image is totally messed up, something I learned from my mother I guess. I'm trying to change how I see myself though! I have a list of positive things I wrote about myself that I look at when I feeling down. My boyfriend always quotes Stewart:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DIETlxquzY

Don't know if it's my kind of self motto, but at least I get a kick out of it!

[Waldo]

How much it takes to see changes really depends on how much you have to lose; every pound becomes more impactful than the last.

The body has visual plateaus as well, where your appearance will be largely the same over a wide range of weights. When you transition between these plateaus however, you appearance will typically change rapidly. Just a couple pounds will have more impact than the 20 before for example.

Self-image is a different issue entirely, it usually lags behind weight loss, often by quite a lot. If you lose a lot of weight, expect it to take years for your self-image to fully catch up.

[ytterbium]

Perception, particularly self-perception, is a messed-up mofo. I'm in completely the same boat that when I look in the mirror I see the same as three years ago, even though I've lost a lot of weight since then.

 

To get all philosophical, any kind of perception is necessarily an abstraction: A human's eyes don't perceive things in the same way as pretty much anything else—a scale, a laser, or a bee's eyes may give a very different picture than what a person will see. That doesn't mean that what a person sees is not a useful picture, but it is incomplete. When the picture is skewed—and not being able to see a 35-pound weight loss probably qualifies—trust the additional information that's coming in from other sources.

 

I fully realize that's easier to say than to do, but I wish you all the best.

[crazyjerseygirl]

Is anybody else having trouble with this I've lost 35lbs and I seem to have a lot of trouble telling the difference. I was always told that once I lost weight, I would feel better, more energized but I really don't. I never seem to like what I see in the mirror at all and the more the scale tells me I lose, the more frustrated I get because I'm apparently the only person who cannot see a difference, in pictures and in the mirror. 

You might be struggling with a touch of body dismorphia too.  As in, you see yourself one way when that really isn't the case.  Have you been overweight most of your adult life?  Your brain might just need time to acclimate to the change.

 

On another note, BRAVO! on the weight loss!

[Storm_Ike]

You might be struggling with a touch of body dismorphia too.  As in, you see yourself one way when that really isn't the case.  Have you been overweight most of your adult life?  Your brain might just need time to acclimate to the change.

 

On another note, BRAVO! on the weight loss!

Since I was 12. I'm 18 now so most of my childhood

[Robpocalypse]

Pictures can help a lot. You look in the mirror multiple times a day and it's tough seeing small daily changes on such a frequent basis. Before and after pictures can often times put the transformation in a much better light.

[crazyjerseygirl]

Since I was 12. I'm 18 now so most of my childhood

 

Since I was 12. I'm 18 now so most of my childhood

Yep, might be. 

Hey, just checked out you're a bio major!  hiiiii!

So, go look up the neurology on this.  It's seen a lot in people with eating disorders, (not saying you have one, but it's a good search word in NCBI).  I find that the more I know about the biological basis of my feelings/oddities, the more comfortable I am with conquering them and moving on.

[Machete]

More than 15 years ago I looked into the bathroom mirror and was disgusted at what I saw; nothing has changed since.

 

Try to take "before" and "after" pictures. They usually provide more objective visual evidence than the subjective opinion you have of yourself.

[Oramac]

First off, congrats on 35 pounds!  Truly, that is a great thing.  

 

I want to just give one example from a spectacular book I'm reading right now called "The Slight Edge".  Basically, small, seemingly insignificant actions compounded over time make a massive difference.  

 

BUT!

 

They take a while to actually show up.  Especially if it's our brains that have to see the differences.  Check out the graph here.  It pretty well shows what I'm talking about.

 

[Guzzi]

I know where you're coming from. I've lost nearly 60lbs now, it's taken nearly 2 years, but I'm finally at a point where I can take a little pride in my body. But up until fairly recently I still saw a disgusting fat person in the mirror. Even though, rationally, I knew I'd lost a shed-load of weight and was much smaller than I once was, I still couldn't bring myself to like what I saw when I looked at photos. All I could see was the fat that I hadn't lost. It completely overshadowed all my "success".

Also, your head plays tricks on you. YOU don't see the change, even when it's apparent to everyone else, and your self-image takes a long time to catch up with reality.

I'd like to echo everything Bearded_Dragon said. That's some good advice right there, and try to work on improving your self esteem too. It's amazing the difference positive reinforcement can make. Have you posted up any of these photos on the forum and asked for honest opinions? Because that could be a good starting point.

Lastly, congratulations! That's an amazing achievement and you should be very proud of yourself. Keep working at it, you'll get there.

[Xahn]

Storm,

 

My guess is it's Body Dismorphism.  And it really sucks.  I've got it, and bad.  Even though I've gotten in SOOOOOO much better shape than I used to be, there are a lot of times I just look in the mirror and am upset with what I see.  Like Guzzi, I'm pretty much in the best shape I've been in since my mid 20s (10 years ago), and am I happy with it?  Nope, not yet.  

 

What keeps me going is that regardless how I feel about myself, my life is going to continue to move forward, so I am too.  Why waste my time and not keep working?  It's not like I'm going to be happier NOT doing this.  

 

Body Dismorphism is really a terrible thing to fight against, and I wish I had some good advice on how to combat it.  I do not.  My mental state will always pick me apart, and I'll never be good enough.  But at the same time, that means it'll also keep me going.  Whether that's worth it, I don't know.  Sometimes I'd like to just be happy with the way I look.  

[Evicious]

I'm going to make a suggestion that could either help or hurt you - it will be up to you to decide which, honestly, so PLEASE think about it before you decide - if you decide - to give it a go.

 

Find a picture of "before" you. Take a picture now in the closest approximation of the same pose you can muster. Open up Microsoft Powerpoint (or an equivalent of it) and copy & paste both photos into the program. Now use the drawing tools to trace your shape on both pictures. Delete the photos, or move them out of the way. Now move either outline you've drawn over top of the other.

 

Odds are good, you're going to see a difference. It may only be that one lies slightly within the other, but that still shows you are making a difference.

 

Doing it this way removes your preconceived (and outdated) self-perception, because you aren't looking at *you* - just shapes. Hopefully, that may help you begin to see the differences in yourself as you progress. 

[TaraTheMiddle]

Storm,

 

My guess is it's Body Dismorphism.  And it really sucks.  

 

^ This. 

 

My best friend has lost an amazing amount of weight, looks fantastic, is wearing smaller pants at 5 months pregnant than she was pre-pregnancy and she cannot see the difference. She gets flustered when people tell her how great she looks because she can't see it and feels like it is an undeserved compliment. She measures and so she knows there IS a difference, yet she can't SEE it. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this as well, because that is a terrible feeling to endure; knowing something is true but not being able to make your visual evidence match that knowledge. To help her we printed out her before and afters at a 1:1 scale (make sure the pictures are taken in the same spot with the camera the same distance away) and then we cut them out. We can physically put her new self on top of her old self and see the difference. She can see how her outline curves in in places that it bulged out before hand. It might be worth a try.

[Storm_Ike]

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I will try.

 

This has been going for years. I would have lost much more weight by now if I didn't continually get discouraged and fall off. 

[Buff Brogan]

Is anybody else having trouble with this I've lost 35lbs and I seem to have a lot of trouble telling the difference. I was always told that once I lost weight, I would feel better, more energized but I really don't. I never seem to like what I see in the mirror at all and the more the scale tells me I lose, the more frustrated I get because I'm apparently the only person who cannot see a difference, in pictures and in the mirror. 

 

More than 15 years ago I looked into the bathroom mirror and was disgusted at what I saw; nothing has changed since.

 

Try to take "before" and "after" pictures. They usually provide more objective visual evidence than the subjective opinion you have of yourself.

i was literally about to say the same thing. i can't tell month to month how i've changed other than i'm stronger than a few weeks ago based on lift numbers. that said, i took a before picture on 3/3, then after pics on 4/5 and 5/5.

looking at those pictures side by side by side i can see a huge difference. one i otherwise would have been completely oblivious too. one of my closest friends did something similarly and has lost a very substantial amount of weight(over 50 pounds) and didn't really notice his change until he compared pictures from a year ago to now. if you can get an app or load them into power point as @Evicious said i think it will do wonders to your realization of how much you've accomplished. 

[Roughyed]

I have lost over 30Kgs (70lbs) since last April and I can honestly say I see no difference looking in the mirror.  It's very weird!  I have taken before and during pics too, again I can't see it!

 

I know there has been a change, the scales say it, friends say it, clothes say it and yet I can't see it.  It is very weird. 

[Storm_Ike]

I have lost over 30Kgs (70lbs) since last April and I can honestly say I see no difference looking in the mirror.  It's very weird!  I have taken before and during pics too, again I can't see it!

 

I know there has been a change, the scales say it, friends say it, clothes say it and yet I can't see it.  It is very weird. 

Exactly my problem. I started at a XXL and I'm now a medium in shirt sizes But I look in the mirror and see no difference in the slightest 

[Suited hippy]

I'll chime in a little here. I lost about 100lbs a year ago and I felt the same. A year has past now, the skin is tightening up, I've kept a healthy-ish diet, and exercise pretty regulariliy and looking in the mirror now I can see a new body. My weight is the exact same as a year ago, infact even up about 8lbs, but I look entirely different in my eyes. 

 

Keep up with it, keep your focus, and your mind will catch up with your body...

 

And one day, a beautiful member of the sex you are attracted to will look upon your naked body, and say "Daaaaamn, you have the body of a greek god."

[Storm_Ike]

I'll chime in a little here. I lost about 100lbs a year ago and I felt the same. A year has past now, the skin is tightening up, I've kept a healthy-ish diet, and exercise pretty regulariliy and looking in the mirror now I can see a new body. My weight is the exact same as a year ago, infact even up about 8lbs, but I look entirely different in my eyes. 

 

Keep up with it, keep your focus, and your mind will catch up with your body...

 

And one day, a beautiful member of the sex you are attracted to will look upon your naked body, and say "Daaaaamn, you have the body of a greek god."

Well it gets extremely frustrating because I feel like I still have an enormously long way to go. Or do I? Again I can't seem to tell. Without clothes, I look and feel no different. Even when I look at old pictures, even when I run into people from high school (this one guy's jaw dropped) no matter how many old shirts I try on. I feel like I'm nowhere close to where I want to be. The scale can drop as much as it wants and I won't see a difference. It's been months and nothing has changed. It's been made apparent the best thing to trust is your eyes and pictures but I can't even trust that. 

[Robpocalypse]

Well it gets extremely frustrating because I feel like I still have an enormously long way to go. Or do I? Again I can't seem to tell. Without clothes, I look and feel no different. Even when I look at old pictures, even when I run into people from high school (this one guy's jaw dropped) no matter how many old shirts I try on. I feel like I'm nowhere close to where I want to be. The scale can drop as much as it wants and I won't see a difference. It's been months and nothing has changed. It's been made apparent the best thing to trust is your eyes and pictures but I can't even trust that.

Consider it this way. You have a variety of factors providing concrete evidence you are kicking ass at loosing weight:

- Clothing is probably getting looser

- People are starting to actively notice

- Scale is providing confirming pounds shed

Vs.

- You don't see it in the mirror.

The first set if conditions lend pretty strong support to the consideration your lack of progress might only be perception! Also you lose weight all over your body, you might not see it immediately in the spots you want so you laser focus on those areas, but may very well me slimming down in others (like the ones you can't immediately see in the mirror). You'll hit an "ah hah!" Moment where you have to cinch your belt tighter and I promise you, there are not many feelings of glee that can match.

It's a marathon not a race and when you're just starting out the path ahead can seem soo long it can feel soul crushing, many people who have tried to lose weight feel that same dispair when things are not moving quickly enough. Trust your program, by all accounts it's working and it takes time, but I think I read your 18? This is the best time to reform healthy habits and start working on the future, healthy you.

[BarbEricScotaku]

I still have man boobs, a beer gut, and thunder thighs even after losing close to 200 lbs. Just can't seem to get rid of another 30-40 lbs of flab (even though ~60 in fat is still barely 20% bodyfat if my Accu-Measure is... accurately measuring my bodyfat). I do feel 20x better than I used to, but I'm afraid I'll continue to be disgusted with my looks (naked, at least -- I think I look pretty good with [baggy] clothes on nowadays, if the "oohh.." stares of young girls much of the time I'm out, that I never got while morbidly obese, is any indication) until I become as Zyzz says a shredded sick cunt. Or at least look big and strong without the six pack like Jim Wendler.