Depression

[redwoodfog]

Redwoodfrog - this song was written for people just like you. Well sorta like you, but with cats.

 

Aw, that was great! Now I kind of want to write a song from the perspective of Mijo, though it'd be nowhere as rad.

[cracked_belle]

I like that depression primer. Thank you. I think the illustrations do a good job of making a serious subject less scary. That lazy pancreas was adorable!

 

For a completely opposite feeling, I happened to find this game (-ish thing) while browsing an unrelated topic, and I'm definitely sending it along to family as well. It is intended to be a way to help those without depression understand what it's like.  A word of caution to anyone following the link--I did find it triggering because it is so accurate to things I have experienced. (But I snapped out of it quickly.) The creator has a trigger warning BEFORE the explanation of the game. (Good place for it!)

Depression Quest

oh man, that game always gives me the Feels.  :/

[Stonie]

I'm struggling this week, guys. Everything feels like it takes the maximum amount of effort to even think about doing. I keep trying to distract / entertain myself with something fun and crafty to do but none of my hobbies excite me, and every time I start something I get angry at it and unravel it again. Nothing turns out how I want it to. Also the prospect of having to clean up after myself again afterwards is stopping me from pulling something out of the office and doing it. I feel like I expended my weeks worth of energy having to do the dishes this morning. I've tried cups of tea, getting heaps of sleep, eating fine, meditating. I don't appreciate this lapse of motivation because I'm getting nothing done, and the extra feelings of angst around getting nothing done seem to be making it worse and/or prolonging my blank mood. Anything I do to try and make myself feel better bring up guilt and anxiety about not being productive.

 

Uffh. Any suggestions for shaking this blanket of apathy? 

[Glacier]

I don't know about shaking the blanket... Sometimes I can get going by turning on upbeat music, setting up a fragrance I like (usually incense, or a drop of lavender essential oil rubbed on my hands) and cleaning something (sweeping is pretty quick and easy,) but sometimes I end up reading for hours because everything else sounds hard.

I will pass on something I once heard, which helped me immensely with guilt: Your family (household/self/whatever) needs food, clean clothing, and maybe something to eat the food with. So, from my perspective, washing the dishes was amazing of you.

[Lalie Fanyarendil]

Sometimes a TV show or book that I really enjoy and think is funny will help me out. (Movies tend to be too short to accomplish the level of immersion I need.) Along with doing things that are relatively passive but beneficial. Ex.: binge-watching A Bit of Fry and Laurie while stretching. It takes minimum effort on my part but it will help me toward my goals, and sometimes it'll lift my mood enough that I'll be able to get something actually productive done and that'll help me get out of the cycle. Sometimes it doesn't do anything and I still would really rather not be conscious, but at least I'm a tiny bit more flexible.

[Minna]

I'm struggling this week, guys. Everything feels like it takes the maximum amount of effort to even think about doing. I keep trying to distract / entertain myself with something fun and crafty to do but none of my hobbies excite me, and every time I start something I get angry at it and unravel it again. Nothing turns out how I want it to. Also the prospect of having to clean up after myself again afterwards is stopping me from pulling something out of the office and doing it. I feel like I expended my weeks worth of energy having to do the dishes this morning. I've tried cups of tea, getting heaps of sleep, eating fine, meditating. I don't appreciate this lapse of motivation because I'm getting nothing done, and the extra feelings of angst around getting nothing done seem to be making it worse and/or prolonging my blank mood. Anything I do to try and make myself feel better bring up guilt and anxiety about not being productive.

 

Uffh. Any suggestions for shaking this blanket of apathy? 

 

I struggle with this too. None of my hobbies have interested me in months, and it breaks my heart. Having so much time on my hands now, and needing to fill it, I decided to give yoga another go. Nothing huge, just the little ten- and twenty-minute classes on yogaglo.com. I figured why not, I could use the stretching. Now I want it like I want food. I've even decided to make a new yoga mat be my quest reward for finishing the elimination diet I'm on. I'm not saying yoga is your answer, but I tried something wholly different from what I was doing already, and it helped. 

 

Do you have anyone around locally who can come by and help with things, or maybe go for a walk with you? I know that company is the last thing I want when I'm feeling like this, but I'm discovering that it's often the depression talking more than me when that happens. 

 

Hugs - we know how you feel.

[redwoodfog]

I'm struggling this week, guys. Everything feels like it takes the maximum amount of effort to even think about doing. I keep trying to distract / entertain myself with something fun and crafty to do but none of my hobbies excite me, and every time I start something I get angry at it and unravel it again. Nothing turns out how I want it to. Also the prospect of having to clean up after myself again afterwards is stopping me from pulling something out of the office and doing it. I feel like I expended my weeks worth of energy having to do the dishes this morning. I've tried cups of tea, getting heaps of sleep, eating fine, meditating. I don't appreciate this lapse of motivation because I'm getting nothing done, and the extra feelings of angst around getting nothing done seem to be making it worse and/or prolonging my blank mood. Anything I do to try and make myself feel better bring up guilt and anxiety about not being productive.

 

Uffh. Any suggestions for shaking this blanket of apathy? 

 

Nothing but commiseration. I was coming here to post something very similar. There's so much I want to be doing, but I have motivation for none of it. And the little essential things (like dishes) seem to take all of my energy. I've been feeling this way for a while and fighting tooth and nail against it... thinking if I mentally yell at myself enough I might get something done. Ineffective.

It sounds like that might be where you're at too. But I'm tired. And I think today I'm going to stop fighting and just take care of myself. If the desire arises to do something crafty/make bread/whatever, I can, but otherwise I am just going to stop the constant stream of "I should be doing xyz" and just exist.

[Minna]

My mom likes to say, "Don't 'should' on yourself." I catch myself doing that all the time.

[Hit]

i can tell you what not to do - dont look back through an old photo album you found on your computer from the start of your previous relationship. that will not help :|

[Disil]

Or old shoe boxes under the bed.

[Stonie]

I don't know about shaking the blanket... Sometimes I can get going by turning on upbeat music, setting up a fragrance I like (usually incense, or a drop of lavender essential oil rubbed on my hands) and cleaning something (sweeping is pretty quick and easy,) but sometimes I end up reading for hours because everything else sounds hard.

I will pass on something I once heard, which helped me immensely with guilt: Your family (household/self/whatever) needs food, clean clothing, and maybe something to eat the food with. So, from my perspective, washing the dishes was amazing of you.

 

I must admit, doing the dishes did help me feel better, but still used up all my energy. Singing in the car this morning helped a bit too, as did being run off my feet at work all day then crashing on the couch. 

 

 

Sometimes a TV show or book that I really enjoy and think is funny will help me out. (Movies tend to be too short to accomplish the level of immersion I need.) Along with doing things that are relatively passive but beneficial. Ex.: binge-watching A Bit of Fry and Laurie while stretching. It takes minimum effort on my part but it will help me toward my goals, and sometimes it'll lift my mood enough that I'll be able to get something actually productive done and that'll help me get out of the cycle. Sometimes it doesn't do anything and I still would really rather not be conscious, but at least I'm a tiny bit more flexible.

 

I have a lot of books that I've been meaning to read and just haven't. One of those things that feels too big to tackle. And whether it's apathy or oversaturation, Most things feel like I've somehow read / seen them before. I'm halfway through so many TV series and books. I did enjoy reading once, and probably still do. Should give it another go. 

 

 

I struggle with this too. None of my hobbies have interested me in months, and it breaks my heart. Having so much time on my hands now, and needing to fill it, I decided to give yoga another go. Nothing huge, just the little ten- and twenty-minute classes on yogaglo.com. I figured why not, I could use the stretching. Now I want it like I want food. I've even decided to make a new yoga mat be my quest reward for finishing the elimination diet I'm on. I'm not saying yoga is your answer, but I tried something wholly different from what I was doing already, and it helped. 

 

Do you have anyone around locally who can come by and help with things, or maybe go for a walk with you? I know that company is the last thing I want when I'm feeling like this, but I'm discovering that it's often the depression talking more than me when that happens. 

 

Hugs - we know how you feel.

 

I do yoga and constantly underestimate the power it has to calm me, and I actually did some this morning when I got up because I couldn't face my bodyweight workout. It did help. 

 

There are family and friends around, but I don't trust them enough to let them into my soul. Most of them are of the opinion that it's the kind of thing you get over, that you don't take sick days for and whatever. Other people I know are co-workers, and people I've previously worked with. The one person I'd dump my sorrows on is away currently being treated for cancer, and there's no way I'm dumping my weeny little problems on him when he's got bigger issues.

 

 

Nothing but commiseration. I was coming here to post something very similar. There's so much I want to be doing, but I have motivation for none of it. And the little essential things (like dishes) seem to take all of my energy. I've been feeling this way for a while and fighting tooth and nail against it... thinking if I mentally yell at myself enough I might get something done. Ineffective.

It sounds like that might be where you're at too. But I'm tired. And I think today I'm going to stop fighting and just take care of myself. If the desire arises to do something crafty/make bread/whatever, I can, but otherwise I am just going to stop the constant stream of "I should be doing xyz" and just exist.

 

Yep, I feel that too; like I should be able to just stand in the mirror and yell at myself and it will all be better. The weekends get me the most I think, because I get the guilts up for not cleaning or getting things done or doing things with Mr. Tea. Mind you, 8 hours of Call of Duty is a bit much. xD

 

Funny, the other day I mentioned my general distaste of the general public and blew my bosses mind (I'm a waitress; and pretty good at the whole "fake it till you make it" thing... Still haven't made it yet but the customers fall for it. xD)

 

 

i can tell you what not to do - dont look back through an old photo album you found on your computer from the start of your previous relationship. that will not help :|

Or old shoe boxes under the bed.

 

 Yep, nope, I agree. I found all the stuff I wrote / drew etc from when I was a teen and it hurts to look at. Most of it's burnt or shredded or gone now. None of my other "relationships" (if you could call them that, I was in high school) were worth crying over so no worries there. I should remember look at the positive and know that I'm much, much better now then back then, and even a year ago. 

 

Thank you for your support guys, by the way. Today was the start of work again (nyerrgh) and I was supposed to body weights but I could tell that angry physical exertion was just going to make me crankier, so I did 10 minutes of yoga, meditated, had a paleo chocolate mug muffin for breakfast, sang my way to work, worked my ass off, came home, crashed on the couch, ate leftovers for dinner. The days are much better when I fill them with things.

 

I'm noticing that the weekends are definite problem areas; Mr. Tea and I are home together and he often just wants to relax, and I have a few days off from work so I generally feel the need to clean or do something productive. But by then there's a huge list of things I"ve put off or have noticed and it's all too much. Or I feel like if I'm going to do something it should be something that will add to my Epic Quest or improve some part of my life... Then the anxiety about never getting anywhere in life hits and then it's couch and COD for two days straight. At least I noticed when something's wrong when I would rather play the same levels and shoot the same NPCs over and over then face the real world. 

[Machete]

[Candace Koller]

I tend to get overwhelmed with things piling up too. I read something once that helps a little when I actually do it, the hard part is remembering to do it.

This guy bought a former meth lab to try and renovate it as a real estate investment without ever seeing it. When he got there he realized how bad it was (and that it had been a meth lab) and had a month long panic attack that immobilized him. Then his dad (or maybe father-in-law, I forget) came over to help. He said, this is no big deal, all we have to do is pull up this carpet.

The guy started listing off other things that needed to be done and he responded, no we only need to pull up this carpet. That's what we have to do right now. The rest comes after that and there is no reason we need to think about all that until we get this carpet up.

He said breaking things down into one task that needs to be done right now and putting the rest at the back of his mind until he got there helped immensely and was the only way he got such a seemingly impossible situation fixed.

[Hit]

 

 

He said breaking things down into one task that needs to be done right now and putting the rest at the back of his mind until he got there helped immensely and was the only way he got such a seemingly impossible situation fixed.

 

this is really good advice for when the little things have all piled up and seem far too gigantic to deal with. 

[Stonie]

That is good advice, and it's even something I try to do at work. Why I don't apply obvious things like that to my home life as well baffles me. 

 

I tend to get overwhelmed with things piling up too. I read something once that helps a little when I actually do it, the hard part is remembering to do it.

 

Also this. I struggle to remember what I did yesterday, let alone what I said I was going to do. I write a lot of lists.  

[Toxophilite]

 

He said breaking things down into one task that needs to be done right now and putting the rest at the back of his mind until he got there helped immensely and was the only way he got such a seemingly impossible situation fixed.

 

That's a good story. Reminds me of something *rummages around on the internets* here we go:

 

“You don’t set out to build a wall. You don’t say ‘I’m going to build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that’s ever been built.’ You don’t start there. You say, ‘I’m going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid. You do that every single day. And soon you have a wall.†- Will Smith aka epic source of motivational quotes

[Candace Koller]

I found the article that story came from. It's a great read, especially the second page.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-youre-sabotaging-your-own-life-without-knowing-it/

[Teros]

Uffh. Any suggestions for shaking this blanket of apathy? 

I think perfectionism is part of depression- where nothing is really good enough.  I'm not sure that I can say to bring you out of this funk; but I will say that you're in my thoughts.  Previous times that have helped me a bit are usually tied with my Wall of Positivity.  Sometimes if I just meditate on it and look at the sum of all the good things that people have said and done; it helps ease the burden. It won't eliminate being depressed; but I feel like I tend to not dwell as long.  If everything feels like too much effort, then I would say the best bet would be to just go for a walk. Sometimes getting some air and being able to calm down and also have some endorphins kick in can help a little.

 

 

As for the mentioning of overwhelming- I got rid of lists altogether (except grocery shopping).  I found that I was too obsessed with getting stuff checked off, but once I was done; I thought of more things. It created a feeling of hopelessness so I tend to just try and remember 3 things to do and then stay 'in the moment' and do them. Then if I think of something else I do that later on.  I'll feel accomplished because I did what I remembered, instead feeling like I fell behind because there is still a half unfinished list next to me.

[Amdhiel]

Uffh. Any suggestions for shaking this blanket of apathy? 

 

I can't say I really have any suggestions. I'm in a similar place right now. The weather has been getting colder here and the days are getting shorter. I've also been struggling with being bored to tears over the project I'm working on and the lack of clarity regarding what ppl want.  I decided that I needed a mental break from stuff so I've been trying to focus on just taking care of me the past few days which has been helpful.

 

This guy bought a former meth lab to try and renovate it as a real estate investment without ever seeing it. When he got there he realized how bad it was (and that it had been a meth lab) and had a month long panic attack that immobilized him. Then his dad (or maybe father-in-law, I forget) came over to help. He said, this is no big deal, all we have to do is pull up this carpet.

The guy started listing off other things that needed to be done and he responded, no we only need to pull up this carpet. That's what we have to do right now. The rest comes after that and there is no reason we need to think about all that until we get this carpet up.

He said breaking things down into one task that needs to be done right now and putting the rest at the back of his mind until he got there helped immensely and was the only way he got such a seemingly impossible situation fixed.

 

Oh this is so true!! There are days where I get overwhelmed a bunch and I try to do this when I figure out that it's an issue. I deal with it partly be keeping lists of the small things that can be done to improve my living space like empty the trash. Being able to do a few small things to make my home more comfortable seems to help.

 

I'm super glad that I caught up on this thread because I've been feeling blah/meh for a few days. I've been managing to continue with my challenge quests and get some stuff done but the motivation isn't fully there. I started taking vitamin D again which hopefully will help. I think I'm also going to take a step back and reassess somethings and see if I'm looking at the picture wrong.

 

We can all overcome the blues and apathy!

[SirHammerlock]

Hey guys, really happy I found this thread.

 

I think, everybody needs their own strategies to fight depression, some things working for oneself do work for others, some don't. But I for my part have begun realizing, that I don't want to be that person sitting and staring at the wall, thinking those thoughts that just seem so overwhelming. It's a bit like with health and fitness in general: We do have a choice. We can choose not to let the depression beat us, but beat it ourselves. It doesn't always work, but I always try to remember things that are good in my life and than stand up and decide to pull it together. Sometimes, screaming helps or just letting your wrath out by punching a boxing bag. For me, watching episodes of funny tv-series also works, like simpsons or Scrubs. I just love the scene, where Eliott decides to change her life and stop being so whiny all the time:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aA2JZz1p6Q

[Artinum]

Aw man. I'm surprised it's taken me this long to find this thread.

 

I can testify to the advice so far given:

* Focus on one step at a time

* Don't worry about "should"

* It will pass - just focus on getting through it.

 

My own experiences with depression led me to write this:

http://freedom-muse.com/2014/01/27/depression/

 

Thoughts, suggestions and more are welcome.

[Toxophilite]

My own experiences with depression led me to write this:

http://freedom-muse.com/2014/01/27/depression/

 

Thoughts, suggestions and more are welcome.

Wow it's like you've opened up my head dumped the contents on a webpage. "I made you a nest"

[kaelvan]

I want to stress the point that taboos, like depression, need to be talked about. It is very important.

And like many important things, it is hard. At least to me, opening up and asking for help is hard.

I could guess for many others too.

 

But as when more and more people know about things, take contact with them, and are aware of their feelings

towards hard and *hushhush* subjects, it is for the good. Maybe they then know when, and how to

reach out for another human being to offer to others and ask help for themselves, and have the courage to do so.

Honestly admitting I needed help was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. For long time I tried to do it myself, which only resulted in me slipping further and further in my dark hole of my depression. I got to the point I tried killing myself few times before telling anyone. Also, my cutting got to being really bad.

Basically if no one notice my wrist or that I pierced my ears (5 times) the night before, I might of not speaked up about my depression and not gotten the help I needed.

[cracked_belle]

source:  http://sidebysidemh.com/2014/10/08/running-from-crazy/ _____________________________________________________ Running from Crazy

 

 

Mariel Hemingway, an author, actress and a model, is the grand daughter of the accomplished writer Ernest Hemingway. She comes from a family with a long history of mental illness. Seven members of her family died by suicide, including her grandfather and her sister. As you can imagine, growing up in that environment, was difficult. She is now speaking up about her experience as the “clean up†girl, as she reflects on the dysfunction and silence surrounding mental illness within her family. Mariel has partnered with two-time Academy Award-winning filmmaker Barbara Kopple, to produce a documentary that examines her personal journey as she strives for a greater understanding of her complex family history. In addition to the documentary, in this brief talk, she speaks about the guilt, fear, and chaos that was present throughout her childhood, and her mission to address these issues so they don’t affect her own daughters and many other families in a similar situation. Her talk is inspiring, and her dedication to mental wellness is admirable. I hope you have some time to have a look at this short video and share your thoughts.

 

[MariahSnow]

source:  http://sidebysidemh.com/2014/10/08/running-from-crazy/ _____________________________________________________ Running from Crazy

 

 

Mariel Hemingway, an author, actress and a model, is the grand daughter of the accomplished writer Ernest Hemingway. She comes from a family with a long history of mental illness. Seven members of her family died by suicide, including her grandfather and her sister. As you can imagine, growing up in that environment, was difficult. She is now speaking up about her experience as the “clean up†girl, as she reflects on the dysfunction and silence surrounding mental illness within her family. Mariel has partnered with two-time Academy Award-winning filmmaker Barbara Kopple, to produce a documentary that examines her personal journey as she strives for a greater understanding of her complex family history. In addition to the documentary, in this brief talk, she speaks about the guilt, fear, and chaos that was present throughout her childhood, and her mission to address these issues so they don’t affect her own daughters and many other families in a similar situation. Her talk is inspiring, and her dedication to mental wellness is admirable. I hope you have some time to have a look at this short video and share your thoughts.

 

 

 

It's incredibly frustrating how much my own family history contributes to my problems. After some discussion this weekend with my partner and some introspection, I started to take a good look at all the weird stuff I do to stave off anxiety. And of course, googling lead me to some symptoms (nightmares, IBS-like symptoms, unnecessary fears, etc) and predispositions (children of mothers who are/were unhappy, or otherwise non-emotive). Sigh, back to therapy with my tail between my legs