Atrytone Takes A Single Step

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

And now I might have two jobs pending a positive reference check.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

So the job I might be getting (and possibly the other as well - not sure) has a strict NO JEWELRY policy. Which sucks because I have three piercings in particular that I almost never take the jewelry out of (nose, eyebrow, tragus). I've had my nose pierced for almost a decade (!!!) now so it probably won't grow over during an 8 hour shift but I can't help but worry that it might. So right now I'm doing practice runs. I have it out right now and set a timer for an hour. Tomorrow I'll leave it out for two hours and so on. Hopefully it's fine.

 

The reasoning is so stupid though! They're worried the jewelry will fall into the food. My nose ring is a screw-style stud and it has never, I repeat NEVER, "fallen out". Even better - I have to go in to see a piercer and have my tragus PROFESSIONALLY removed because I can't get it apart myself. But yeah, that could totally accidentally fall in the food.

 

(Cursing under the spoiler).

Spoiler

I fucking swear that people without mods are so fucking stupid about them it just blows my goddamn fucking mind. This shit doesn't just "fall out". Fuck me sideways with a crowbar.

 

[Sevasan]

That crowbar thing sounds painful!!!!!  Don’t do that!!!   Haha!

 

Anyway, yes it is dumb, but they do have to follow precautions. You take good care of your jewelry but that does not mean that someone else may not be as careful. I have had my tongue pierced for a long time and nothing ever happened (took it out a long time ago though… getting too old for that. HAHA! j/k)

But… I have known several people who have had their ear jewelry fall out and even one girls nose piercing out end up dangling out… about to drop into whatever she was standing over at the time.

SO I agree. It is not fair, but from knowing and seeing for my own eyes, they do have to be cautious.

“The good have to suffer for the bad” type of thing.    But out of all the piercings I used to have, none of them fell out either. So I can feel your pain in that respect.

 

But anyway Congrats on the job!  Hopefully both? Haha guess time will tell!

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

1 minute ago, Sevasan said:

“The good have to suffer for the bad” type of thing.

 

Yes, I suppose that's true. I'm just worried and sad I guess. I'm not ready to retire any of my piercings yet and I just bought a fancy new labret for my tragus (the one I have to get professionally removed). It wasn't cheap but it's so comfortable and I love it and now I can't wear it because it's too difficult to take out.

 

Thank you for your congratulations. I wasn't expecting to find a job so quickly. Both are casual positions to start off with though so I have to be content with that for the moment. Luckily my expenses are pretty low.

 

3 minutes ago, Sevasan said:

That crowbar thing sounds painful!!!!!  Don’t do that!!!   Haha!

 

Hahah obviously I never would but I find it's a satisfying curse. If I'm in an especially bad mood I'll tack "wrapped in barbed wire" on to the end of it.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

So I got the second job (which is kind of like two jobs - I'll explain shortly). I'm meeting with my boss for the first job (henceforth "Job 1") tomorrow to discuss my paper work and my orientation shift(s) next week. I start the other job (henceforth "Job 2") on the 28th and they have me booked for 7 shifts so far varying from 4-7.5 hours each. So. Guess I need to explain how Job 2 is sort of two jobs. It's for an overarching, government-funded association. There are two places locally that are run by it that work in close conjunction and trade staff back and forth, because again it's the same company (sort of). So the job I applied for (henceforth "Job 2a") is having me trained in the other location (henceforth "Job 2b"). I hope that makes sense. I mean it's pretty straightforward but I'm not sure I explained it well.

 

Either way I'm now going to be juggling three jobs and I have no idea how that's going to work out. Plus side, Job 1 plans their schedule out 4-6 weeks at a time so I'll have some idea monthly as to when I'll be free or not. Job 2 apparently calls out with shifts 2 weeks in advance (at least according to my boss and Job 2a). FURTHERMORE, Job 2 is a "casual" position so I might get calls at 6am asking me to come in immediately (yay). Plus side - I can probably get a lot of work. Down side - I won't be able to have much of a life. Plus side - I've never had much of a life and Job 1 pays more than minimum wage and Job 2 pays more than Job 1. I can take a little abuse right?

 

Switching gears, I had my nose ring out for two hours this morning. It still felt weird and wrong as fuck. It also felt a little tight getting my stud back in; but there wasn't any pain. It may just have been friction from the bioplast. I might try a metal piece of jewelry instead tomorrow. That would probably reduce the friction.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

Having some trouble accessing the relevant documents for my new job(s). My criminal record check (CRC) was supposed to be in yesterday but the servers were down all weekend. I emailed my managers asking if I should just print a paper copy of the CRC off and bring it into them. Manager 2a told me not to worry about it since there was nothing any of us could do until Monday anyway. So I have to call her at some point today so we can discuss what needs to be done.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

Got to the gym today! Very happy about that even if I've lost a lot of my previous progress.

[Sevasan]

On 7/12/2016 at 0:12 PM, Atrytone said:

Hahah obviously I never would but I find it's a satisfying curse. If I'm in an especially bad mood I'll tack "wrapped in barbed wire" on to the end of it.

 

  HAHAHA!   yes that would certainly make a terrible Curse!   I may have to borrow that one for my really bad days.  

 

Glad to hear you are back in the gym!!!!  If I can get something going myself I will be there too.  And even though the job deal hit a snag.. at least it is something.  

 

anyway. I am making myself go run in the morning. so I can catch up to you in the exercise department!

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

20 minutes ago, Sevasan said:

Glad to hear you are back in the gym!!!!  If I can get something going myself I will be there too.  And even though the job deal hit a snag.. at least it is something.  

 

anyway. I am making myself go run in the morning. so I can catch up to you in the exercise department!

 

I didn't exercise at all last month so you're probably doing better than I am tbh.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

Really feeling the DOMS today. I know getting to the gym will help (blood flow etc) but I'm dreading it at this point. It's only for a little while though. As long as I stick with going to the gym my DOMS will get more manageable. Just need a little time I guess. I'm going to go earlier today than I did on Monday. It wasn't crazy busy at 9am but I'm hoping it's even slower at 8am. Fingers crossed!

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

Going to the gym is getting better now. Thank goodness. There's an assisted pull-up/chin-up/dip machine at the gym. I set it to 100lbs (I weigh ~150lbs) and only managed 3 chin-ups. It's a start though. Next time the goal is 4-5. And so on. My pain levels, as a result of DOMS, have become more manageable. I'm glad even though I'm still not where I'd like to be. I'll just keep going and figure it out as I do.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

Wow it's been a while since I posted here. It kind of feels like my health and fitness life has derailed. I'm trying to adjust to work rather than school now. My schedule is all over the place too which doesn't help. I just can't seem to find the dedication or will power or motivation or whatever to workout and eat healthy. I feel like crap about it honestly.

 

Spoiler

...I feel like crap about myself, honestly.

 

Lately I've found myself dwelling on how dissatisfied I am with myself. With my accomplishments. It seems like no matter what I do it isn't enough. I'll be happy in the short term but after a little while it's not enough anymore. I was ecstatic about graduating with distinction but now I feel like I didn't really earn it. (I did talk to one of my professors about it though and he made me feel a little better about it. Basically while I might not have worked as HARD as some of my peers he suggested that I worked more EFFICIENTLY - that I know what works best for me for studying and what not when a lot of people are struggling to figure it out). At first I was excited about my decision to start an RRSP but now I feel like I should have started earlier or should put away more or just...I don't even know but I don't feel like I'm being as smart about it as I did at first. Like I'm being unfaithful to my roots in poverty or some fucking stupid thing like that.

 

I'm just really struggling because I can't see myself ever being permanently satisfied or happy in the long run and it just sucks. It makes me wonder what the point is. I've also been having the fear that I'm going to get old and die having lived an uneventful, unremarkable, worthless life. I feel like this is a result of my long-held fear of mediocrity and my more recent fear of dying. (The old age bit is probably a matter of proximity to the elderly and dying residents in my work places). I'm just sick of being scared and anxious all the time. Sometimes I'll picture this (not really voluntarily I might add) fear and have to talk myself down from a full-blown anxiety attack. Intrusive thoughts are awful.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

I'm in a better frame of mind today. While I'm not doing a challenge right now, and frankly don't have the energy to do much, I'm getting sick of how I've been treating my body. So I'm going to try to eat a bit healthier from now on. I've been feeling bad and masking that badness with crap food. That's not fair to myself since I'm just perpetuating the feeling bad cycle. 

 

Better eating habits here I come!

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

I've decided to get back into the habit of taking my measurements. Before I was doing it at the end of each challenge but I kept forgetting which day I was supposed to do it and then I just stopped. Since we're at the end of the month I'm going to take my measurements on the first from here on out. Hopefully. The idea is to keep me accountable to myself.

 

I work two shifts today. I finished 4 hours of organizing at Job 1 and I have a 4 hour closing shift at Job 2b tonight. (Still haven't been trained at Job 2a). Feeling a little sniffle-y today so I'm drinking some tea that's supposed to help with colds. I don't have a lot of shifts next month so I can't afford to get sick and miss out on any of the ones I do have.

 

I had leftover carbonara and green salad (with a little dressing) for lunch today. I've been snacking on sugary granola bars though. :/ Goal for tomorrow: more real food, less sugar-filled garbage.

[Sevasan]

I tried to type this yesterday, but the site would not let me post for some reason……

 

It is a strange stage in life you are at right now.   Finished school and got your degree, and now everything is different, you feel different, and you are doing different things. It will take some time to adjust. You worked hard in college for a goal. That goal is accomplished, and now you need a new goal.

 

Life is full if change, and change is scary. If can make you feel lost and not having a direction to go. Things will get better and soon you may find a path that may never would have occurred to you.

 

It took me till my late 20’s (well after college) to find a path I want to go on. You still have plenty of time. You don’t need a path right now. And while you fear a life of mediocrity, I can assure you that what you have done so far (that we have read about on here at least) is not mediocre. I have a feeling you will do good things, and it may take some time still, but you will find your own path

 

 

 (very cliché I know… but it’s true.)    Stay positive!!!!!

 

 

p.s.   don’t feel like crap, but use that crappy feeling and turn it into motivation!  YOU GOT THIS!!!! 

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

Thanks @Sevasan, I'm definitely taking that crap and using it to motivate me into feeling a little less like crap. Baby steps.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

Thinking I need to have an "eat like the elderly" goal in a future challenge. Three balanced meals a day as well as 3 snacks. Dessert at lunch and dinner (with dessert often being fruit)...sounds pretty nice honestly. I'd have to portion control though.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

So I have a viewing tomorrow. I have no idea what the place looks like but it ranks quite high in both the cost and location categories. Fingers crossed that everything goes well tomorrow.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

I got the place. More about it after I sign the paper work.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

So I signed the paperwork and immediately could not sleep that night and worried incessantly that I had made the wrong decision. While location and cost were both perfect there were some definite flaws. For one the place didn't have a kitchen. At all. It had a fridge and I'd have to use the bathroom sink as a kitchen sink. Furthermore the rental started on the first of October and the landlord refused to push the rental date back even too the 15th. I ended up asking for my deposit back the day after we went through all the paperwork. The gentleman was very nice about it and we both wished each other well and parted ways. So that's a thing that happened and then was promptly undone.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

Now, yesterday I decided to indulge my inner nerd. It doesn't happen as often as I would like but I bit the bullet and invited a friend to try Android: Netrunner at a local Nerd Store^TM with me yesterday. We struggled with it a bit because it's a complicated game (and the guy in the store specializes with magic and has only played Netrunner a couple times himself) but at the end of it we both had a lot of fun and definitely want to play it again sometime. I'm thinking very strongly about buying it the next time we go play. 

After I came home I played a game I bought the last time I was at the Nerd Store^TM - Indigo Prophesy - and I'm adoring it. Which is pretty amazing since the last two games I bought that I'd never played before were pretty unenjoyable to me. Usually I just play whatever games my best friend tells me too because she has a delightful knack for knowing which games people will end up liking. Indigo Prophecy is amazing though and I'm super happy I bought it. It's been a long time since I played a new (to me) game.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

So I joined NF at the beginning of January and as we rapidly approach the new year I'm feeling like I haven't really changed that much from the person I used to be. One thing I feel like I've been missing are life goals. I never had a real reason to work on my health aside from a vague sense that my poor eating and fitness habits were (and are) going to catch up with me at some point. I've spent the past ten months trying and struggling to stick with things. While I feel like I'm in the same place as before I know that I'm not. I know now that I truly dislike running but enjoy hiking. I know that I love squats and want to get better at them. I know that my eating habits are in desperate need of improvement but I'm not sure how to change them completely while still living with my parents who aren't exceptionally supportive of my food-related goals.

 

After a lot of consideration I have discovered one life goal for myself. I want to hike the West Coast Trail. Growing up in BC I've always known about it and I've finally reached a place where I think it's possible for me to hike it at some point in the future. This means I need a lot more training. I need to work on my endurance. I need to work on rucking. I need to research the challenges I'll face on it. I'm almost positive there are bridges; due to my fear of heights this has the potential to be a serious problem. If I want to do this I need to confront that fear and find a way to best it. I need to start taking (literal) steps to reach this goal. I know I can do it if I can put in the hard work to accomplish it.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

One other (pseudo) life goal that I have begins with the New Year. I have a friend who has, a couple times, undertaken something she calls "The Year of the Selfie". Given how negative society is about women's bodies (or any bodies that don't really conform to some pointless ideal) and how negative it is about selfies in general this has always been an interesting idea to me. I rarely like the way I look in photos and there's that small society-fed voice in the back of my head calling me vain and pathetic every time I post a selfie. Which is frankly quite ridiculous. Who cares if people want to post pictures of themselves online right? So The Year of the Selfie is pretty basic. You take at least one selfie every day for a year and post it online. I'll probably post mine on Facebook because it's a decent platform for that sort of personal expression. I feel like it'll teach me something about myself and get past society's denigration of self-love in selfie form.

[Sevasan]

Get your Selfie on!  haha    

 

    But really, that actually seems like a good idea. Get yourself used to being "out there" no matter how negative others seem to be.   Screw them!  There will ALWAYS be "something" someone will find to complain about and those people will never be happy with life.

 

  Celebrate the positive! You are living, breathing, and moving... That right there is something to be positive about!  Plus you have awesome people here on NF who care and support you!  OH..... AND!!!!!!    .... You live in Canada!!!!!!  I mean really!  What else is there?      HAHA!

 

 

If that is something you want to do then I say, Go for it!

 

 

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

I got my loan repayment forms the other day. That was kind of stressful...but I have a plan to pay them back. It involves trading one loan for another! I know that might sound kind of bad but my bank representative offered me a line of credit with a low interest rate for a year. So I'll use that to pay off the bulk of my loan and my personal savings to pay off the balance. It's going to be tight because I have to renew my car insurance next month as well but I can manage it with a little to spare. Plus I have two paychecks between now and when my car insurance is due. That should provide a nice little buffer. Most importantly my interest rate is going to be 3-5% lower. And since all I'll be borrowing from the bank is $5000 I should have it paid off in no time. Less than a year for sure.