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Heidi

Guild Leader
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About Heidi

  • Rank
    Amazon of Awesome
    Newbie
  • Birthday 04/09/1969

Character Details

  1. Random shout-out to @darkfoxx for making me a signature security blanket bed jacket.
  2. Love this. I slept late and woke up groggy but was nearly centered when I logged in. I'm glad I had an hour before scrum, because it devolved into chaos reminiscent of middle school. Our boss rolled into the chat and tried to shut the meeting down, but Contentious Coworker was having none of it, needing to keep her captive audience captive. Rick on girl, whatever. I kept my mouth shut and just watched the show). I listened to a favorite song while they argued. Hilariously, my silence was met by my boss messaging me privately and saying he was cancelling all scrums going forward, that they are outdated and meant for in-person teams. (he's not wrong.) I knew I was sick of this, but apparently I am not alone. We'll see where it goes. Communication sessions have been officially cancelled. The therapist is clearing checking out. There has been a promise of a co-parenting plan coming. I'll believe it when I see it. div widget
  3. I see what you did there. And yes, I seem to be on a "greek philosophers" kick. This afternoon at work someone said "it's only illegal if you ge caught!" and I said "Ok, Glaucon, go on with your bad self." My plan to keep that stuff to myself is failing.
  4. I logged in and had a day. It was pretty rocky this morning, but I kept my mouth shut through all of the tension and chaos that wanted to erupt and everything smoothened out in the afternoon. After work I met with a writing student. I continue to love this. I set up some calendar availability again. Let me know if you want to chat.
  5. I slept well last night, and most of the weekend. I was still very slow-moving this morning and was gentle with myself as I made tea and logged in. I made it through the day. Acupuncture was amazing, and I'm very glad I went. Surprising no one, the verdict is I have some major inflammation going on, at the system level. As I drove home I thought about how much if my daily habits has crashed since mid-sept, and I felt overwhelmed and tired just thinking about what I used to do. I drove on, sitting with that, and wondered what one thing I could do, what smallest one thing, that would have actual results. Be here, now After I parked, I walked into the gym and went to the steam room and then the sauna, and sipped water while I was there. I redressed and walked home, chopped some ginger and put it in my teacup with a slice of lemon. While the tea warmed in the microwave, I took out some already -chopped kale and broccoli and put them in a bowl with some dressing. Any one of these things is a smallest thing. I'm glad I'm here now.
  6. Howdy, Druids! Hope you have a bloomin’ great day.
  7. Also, therapy has been an important piece of my own journey towards wholeness and heart-centered living. Feel free to open an account just for therapy payments, so it doesn’t feel like your day-to-day balance is going down. Therapy is an investment in yourself. Also, if after a couple months a particular therapist isn’t really meshing with you, it’s absolutely okay to ask for a referral and to talk about what gaps you’re experiencing. This is what therapy is for. All the best thoughts for you today.
  8. This is everything. I love your goals, and your approach is spot on. Ordinarily I would say that this goal is the 80% rule, but given your recent experiences and changes, I’m going to go ahead and rate it at 100%. Show up for yourself. You are worth the not-doing. This ill not last forever. Much love to you this day, fellow survivor. I believe in you.
  9. Friday was a tired and grumpy day here, too. Hope you’re being gentle with yourself, Friend. But why NOT cottage??? — philosopher approved.
  10. I was settling in with a cup of tea to catch up on the last couple pages or so when I hit this, and looked over at the leek and potatoes I set out on the counter this morning for exactly this endeavor. It’s a potato soup sort of weekend.
  11. I love the autumnal equinox, and the new moon that follows it. As summer winds down and the days come into balance, I always feel as though the universe is inviting me to spend a few days in inner reflection, creating a space of stillness in which I get to consider what in my life is out of balance and what is important to me as I carry on into the darkening time of year—is there anything that I need to put down? It’s a powerful topic, if I let it be, and this year there is much to weigh. I really like what I do, and while this is great (and new!) it’s also an attachment, a thing that pulls at me and into which I lean. I don’t want to change that, but I want to make sure that I have some equilibrium and a sure footing. One doesn’t go up a boulder without understanding that gravity is dispassionately heartless and will dash any of us down to the ground, showing us the error of our ways. Over the last several years, I’ve prioritized my relationship with my daughter, and this has taken root. This is wonderful, and I’m glad to see it. New growth in our relationship in the last year opened new paths, and this too tugs at me, and is something into which I am leaning. Attachment is beautiful, magical, and difficult, possibly even dangerous. There’s a reason Buddhist believe attachment out of balance is at the root of all suffering. Being in relationship with mindfulness and compassion allows for expansiveness, in our relationships and for the whole world. Consider the nature of the corruption of the One Ring in Lord of the Rings: the idea of possession is embodied in the object, becoming obsessive to the point of corruption. We do not possess things, they possess us. Our jobs, our relationships with others, these are not possessions and cannot be controlled. Love is a wild magic. While I’m not ready to go join the forest monks just yet, I also want to hold my attachments in a way that is nurturing for everyone involved, with elasticity and compassion. This is a matter of faith, ultimately: I have faith in the work I do, that any changes or challenges can be met with competence, dignity, and grace. I have faith in the people I’m in relationship with, that growth will only deepen our bonds and honor myself as well as each other. I have faith in the universe, that the universe loves me and wants me to be happy, and that all pieces of the journey are helpful. As the details shift in the ten thousand things that make up my day-to-day life—as they always will—this is the central truth. Stay tuned.
  12. Thank you, Friend. These are powerful words. Yesterday was difficult, mostly because Contentious Coworker keeps messing with the team’s digital paperwork, restructuring it and “cleaning it up.” Friends, I have no idea what the problem is that she is continually solving; it feels more like a game she’s playing, some bizarre Tetris with rules only she understands. It all kind of blew up in the afternoon, and I got cranky and anxious all at the same time, an unlovely mix at best. All will be well, I’m sure, but it was a sour afternoon, and I ended up not doing anything of note trying to get my head back on right. This morning I took an easy and slow morning, made some beef tips in marinade for lunch, and sorted out my finances for the coming month. I was gentle with myself and simply let everything be for most of the day, then napped most of the afternoon. This evening, I decided to look at just one thing and ended up sorting some clothes and shoes for donation, sorting some papers and correspondence, and throwing out some clutter items from the desk. I know this isn’t the Kondo-approved approach, but I have various stash boxes and piles, and these have to be dealt with as they are, and I’m glad I made some headway, however small. I also gathered many not-in-use bags and put them in a clear storage tote. I purchased some acrylic shoe boxes and most of my shoes are headed to homes instead of a pile, and this helps, too. Nothing grand, but all steps matter when they’re pointed in the right direction. I’ve heard nothing from the therapist, so i dropped her a note reminding her that the details are still not resolved for the Fall Festival next weekend. Fingers crossed.
  13. I know a cat named Easter, he says "will you ever learn"
  14. Today is a good day. I wrote a little before work, and then work was good. There were several meetings to the business people to demo the new code for the migration of the old code, and while the business users are all reluctant to any change at all, they each and every one decided that it was enough to work with. Hooray for the devs who poured their hearts into making it happen, and to one dev in particular who came up with the design that made it possible. I really like my team. The Jr. QA and I met in the morning before all the meetings and it was a good meeting. I’m a little concerned that she seems to kind of disappear-ish after lunch, as though she’s watching tv, which I actually suspect she is doing. I had a conversation with her after the last meeting finished up, and kind of redirected her to task, asking if she thought she would be able to do most of the things on the list for this week, since Friday is already tomorrow. She said yes, and that’s where I left it. My boss and I had our weekly chat by chat this afternoon, and he really likes my insights. He’s not saying so, but i think he’s pretty steamed about the whole “moved my cheese” incident. He scheduled a meeting for what i this I of as the leadership portion of the team and labeled it a “weekly tailgate” (whatever that means). During our chat today, he said he’s going to set some clear role definition and also make it clear that i have one person to whom i report, and no one else is allowed to be shitty to me. He also said he’s getting frustrated with the way that process is being broken just because Contentious Coworker says so. Scheduling UAT for code that’s not even developed let alone passed QA should never be happening, and that’s exactly what the last two weeks was all about so the Contentious Coworker could walk around and say that we were “behind” and “holding her up” and she could yell and have an artificial sense of pressure and urgency. RiverTam-SadLittleKingsOnASadLittleHill.gif Through all the hustle and bustle of the day, I forgot to eat anything, and I was very grateful that there was half of the squash and a whole baked potato from yesterday. I added some white corn and it felt perfectly autumnal, just in line with the weather. The rain is supposed to start tonight, and last until Monday, with the heaviest of it coming all day tomorrow. The high will be 56 tomorrow, so I broke my not-turning-the-heat-on-until-October rule (by one whole day) and set the thermostat to 64. The apartment hasn’t gotten above 68 all day, and everything is just going to get colder overnight as the storm comes our way. I have tea. I have a Berkey to filter the water. I have a way to heat the water even if the power goes out. I have a warm blanket that I knit that is super cozy, fuzzy socks, and a wonderful pair of slippers. I wish you warmth and comfort today.
  15. Thank you, Friend. Our talks make a huge amount of difference, even though they might seem like nothing-much. I went to sleep right after I posted, and slept so so well. It was nice. This morning is cold, the tea is warm, and my heart is full.
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