i LOVE this

So yesterday was packed full of work, with a nice break for lunch, for which my fellow trainee and I walked to a restaurant I had been anticipating. They were closed. So we walked back, stopping at a sushi place on the way. We also went to the parking lot so I could get my parking ticket validated since I'd left it in my car. We enjoyed the outside for a bit and headed back inside. I didn't climb the stairs later that day because we got to talking to someone else on their way out.    But I took the stairs today! Today wasn't quite as hectic. We did one day's work instead of two. I also got to enjoy brownies brought by someone grateful to the wire dept. There was a multi-pack of three flavors. I instigated the notion of cutting the squares in half to indulge in all three flavors, but didn't require it of anybody, though I think a couple other people did the same. XD   Don't know what I'm doing tonight except that it's Taco Tuesday on a Thursday. XD   Hope your day went by smoothly Maerad

I did not start from now - much snacks today. Ho hum. It's also late, though I had a lovely evening online gaming with a pal, except we only played two games of battleships and spent the rest of the time chatting shit ❤️ Did physio and no scrolling. I think I've basically passed this challenge already, so I might have a think about doing something for the final week - I'm meeting a mate for dinner tomorrow and have boardgames Saturday eve so will likely snack. Hmm.   Yesterday: 2pt Total: 46pts   Yep 45pts was a winning score. It feels uneventful to happen so early though, like if a movie bomb countdown doesn't run down to 1 second before being stopped, yanno?

He messaged again (after me not responding to his friend request) that 'silence speaks volumes' (because stating my disinterest clearly didn't...) and signed off his message 'namaste'....................... FB is looking like scheduling won't happen until after I next see fwb anyway. Meh, whatevs.   The wedding... tldr; strong moment of clarity around all these people from 10yrs ago where it was like watching an old home movie, but they're all still kinda the same. And I'm very much not (and very much happier for it). So yeah, I'd say a very positive outcome.   Some other lolz though... So my ex who was there was my first longterm bf, together 7.5yrs and ended a decade ago, he's now happily married with a kid - I told him I got an autism diagnosis finally, and he was like 'huh... I wouldn't have thought that of you' which either means my mask was strong, he didn't know me at all, or a combination of the two. I found it interesting though, and kinda sad in the way I've felt about situs that might have been different if I'd been diagnosed/more aware when I was younger way. Leaving the wedding the groom (ex's bro) asked how I was. I said I was living my best life in the 'happiest demographic' which is single women in their 40s with no kids - going on loads of holidays, doing all the hobbies I like with no responsibilities and shagging the people I want. His reply with a slightly 'aww never mind' face: I'm sure you'll find someone 🤔     I can't remember  but still NHS (as ever) but kinda strategic oversight/planning of clinical systems training. I've done much more on the planning the build/maintenance of the systems before so the training side is new. Should be good though, I'm just a bit whelmed at the mo...

It sounds like you're going through a very intense time emotionally, and the anxiety you're feeling about the interview results is totally understandable, especially when the stakes feel so high. Anxiety spirals like this can become overwhelming, especially when you're waiting for news that you have no control over at this point. The way you're describing bargaining with the universe and setting random conditions for getting the job (like push-ups or not popping a spot) can be a symptom of **high anxiety**, where your mind is trying to grasp onto anything to feel a sense of control in an uncertain situation. This kind of thinking, known as **magical thinking**, is pretty common when we feel powerless and anxious. Here are a few ideas that might help you manage this while you wait: ### 1. **Mindfulness & Grounding Techniques**      You can try grounding yourself through mindfulness, which helps bring you back into the present and reduces racing thoughts. Something simple like focusing on your breathing (counting 4 seconds in, holding for 4, and releasing for 4) can help slow down the heart rate and calm the mind. ### 2. **Focus on What You Can Control**      You’ve done all you can for the interview, so try shifting your focus onto things you can control—whether that's exercising, working on a hobby, or setting new personal goals that give you a sense of accomplishment. ### 3. **Challenge Irrational Thoughts**      When you catch yourself making irrational bargains or obsessive thoughts, try challenging them. Remind yourself that getting the job is not dependent on random actions like popping a zit—it’s based on your performance and the company's decision-making process. ### 4. **Physical Activity**      Exercise (like the 1,944 push-ups you mentioned) can be an excellent outlet for anxiety! But if that number feels overwhelming or anxiety-driven, consider starting with something more manageable—physical activity releases endorphins that help reduce anxiety naturally.

Bert leaves tomorrow for Fall Break, and won't be returning until Tuesday night. I'm ready for a break. He's a good kid, but he just makes more work for me. It's just so much more cleaning and having to double check everything because he forgot to close the garage door again when he left the house and he doesn't lock the side door when he takes the trash out. And I'm like "Thanks for taking out the trash, but you gotta lock the door."     And he and my dad are very similar so it's just like between the two of them, I have to hear explanations about every thing. EVERYTHING. "Hahahahah! I laughed because I thought that was funny"    HE LITERALLY SAID THAT.     "I'm going to eat something because I'm a bit hungry".  NOW THERE ARE TWO OF THEM.    The other day I was a part of ten minute conversation about the pros and cons of soup.   meanwhile I am a impatient grouch.   Actually it's really silly, isn't it? When I read back on this, I'm like "OMG this is just silly. Why am I getting so grouchy over this?"   let that shit go, snarky. just let it go. but check all the locks before bed.        

Ursina pops into the kitchen and starts talking in a funny, lowing voice. "Helloooooooo. Let's be adventurous in the kitchen!"  She grins "I love Julia Child, she was very Bearish, you know."  She pops on a chef's hat and it sits askew on top of her head.    Spicy Skillet Chicken Recipe - BettyCrocker.com   I made this recipe for dinner tonight.  What I love about it is that I made the chicken and rice ahead of time. So tonight I open up a couple cans and just throw everything in the pan and heat it up.   And a recipe we are having next week that we've had before James May Veggie Burgers   James May's delicious veggie burgers | This Morning (itv.com)   We didn't have access to the apple stuffing so we used a little stouffer's stuffing mix and a little applesauce.  I don't think I would call it a burger as much as a patty. I think burger makes you think of specific textures and flavors. This is really good though, even my carnivorous dad enjoyed it.   Ursina removes the cap and surveys the meals. "Well isn't that dandy? Do be mindful of the sodium, neighbears. You may want to drink some green tea with these and have a banana in the morning." she waves goodbye and walks out the door. 

I would love that!  <4

If we were neighbors, I would invite you over for pasta, wine, and quiet. <4