Intake for the day   Brekky- 2 cups of loaded coffee, 1 peice raisin toast with pb, 2 eggs with hot sauce Lunch- Yogurt and granola Snack- 1 loaded coffee, 1/2 can tuna with hot sauce, 2 ritz crackers  Supper- Bowl of cereal   Total- 1453   Afternoon   Came home from the dentist and paced for an hr, then had lunch, a yogurt bowl and a coffee.   So let's have a chat about body image. I do not like my body. I'm chubby and decided I want to concentrate on weight loss as well as my fitness. Hubs and I agreed for me to lose 20 pounds (140 to 120). So I'll be sticking with 5 lb dumbbells and my interval training, but will eat 1400 cals.    I just want to gain confidence. I've been 140-145 most of my late teenage years and adult life, with a few times getting to 130 from yo yo dieting. I want to lose weight the right way this time, no starving, no binging as a result of starvation and working out.   ----------   Pacing till I have to get my kid from school. I feel great! I thought I'd feel sluggish from working out my legs and jogging but nope! And I have energy 😁   ----------   Got my kid from school, did homework with both of them then chilled with them in the living room for a while, then paced.   I'm craving pot. I gave it up a week ago after 2.5 years on it cuz I don't like high feeling anymore. I used to vape it to help with my depression, but I realized as I get mentally stronger, it causes anxiety.    3 years ago I had a mental breakdown. I heard voices that whispered and yelled at me. I was having religious delusions and thought it was God speaking to me. These hallucinations landed me in a mental hospital where I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, bipolar and major depression. I am on 3 meds to help. But this past week I have lowered the dose of my antidepressant and in 6 months, will go off of it completely! I don't know if I'll ever go off my antipsychotics but we will see. With my meds, I lead a normal life now.🤎 This is why fitness is so important, I need those endorphins! And why I want to lose weight, to be healthy and strong mentally and physically. ☺️   ----------   When hubs got home I had a hoot of pot. I don't really like it anymore but I do go through withdrawl from it still, so having a hoot in the evening helps alleviate the symptoms. I do have one right before bed to help me sleep tho. But my end goal is to just have it at night before bed.   For supper, I made the family hamburger helper, but bc I hate it, I get a bowl of yummy mini wheats cereal. I loooooove cereal!! So this feels like a cheat meal cuz I get a good sized portion of it that works into my calories.   Cleaned up and got the kids their snack of fruit then into bed. No snack for me tonight.    I think I'll start weighing everyday. I like to see even a tiny loss each day (most days). It's a victory before the day begins. And if I maintain or gain, I'll remember that no matter the number, I am changing my body with working out and eating right, so I don't go into a downward spiral like I used to. And it helps keep me on track each day. I am more careful with my diet knowing I have to weigh the next day! I'll still enjoy special occasions tho, like Thanksgiving coming up, I'll enjoy a big plate of food and a peice of pie with ice cream 🤤    Alright nighty night!

I bought a journal for tracking my goals, and it arrived today! It's so clean and bright! I almost hate...to....use...it...         I'm not going to my 25th reunion. I have bad vibes, y'all. There's a group of really creepy guys going, that are really into drugs and then there's a lot of talk that it's going to be a wild night of drinking and partying, and y'all...this sounds like a Mid-Life Crisis Party, and maybe I'm wrong, but maybe...I'm absolutely right. I'm not a wild party person. I'm barely a party person.  Also I'm really hormonal right now and I'm just kinda having ALL  the feelings, so  let's avoid broooding... I think I'm going to make a cup of tea, and look at templates for tracking goals and get some ideas. And I'm going to make some colorful marks on the first page or so that it doesn't feel too perfect anymore.    Ginger peach green tea or herbal mint? Decisions, decisions..      

An idea occurs to me. More spoilery than most of what I've said about Super Supportive  

And Boe, and Victor and catspace. And Gorgon's crickets and Kibbie's trip to the museum. And Stuart pelting him with forest litter before introducing him to one of his mothers. And the whole "I watched you watch your sister die and you don't know it" dynamic. And even the nightmares, because that boy should be having nightmares after all this shit! And damn straight the adults are worried about him! And Stu knowing how to offer the help he needs, and him accepting. The gym stuff is cool too.

And NesiCard man! How could I forget NesiCard man?!

I felt almost completely recovered today so I hired a bike for the day thinking I'd take in a few local sites - The Boca do Inferno, Paula Rego's Casa de Histórias, a couple of bookshops etc, and maybe just cruise up and down the coast in a stress free way, to let my legs get used to being legs again. But I had so little thigh pain that I just blasted off in a northerly direction toward Sintra to see the Poço Iniciático in the Quinta da Rega. Now I know, because the cycle hire places has a distance chart, that the Palácio de Pena, quite nearby, is 21 km away - exactly a half marathon. So, there and back, via the scenic route - I have done two marathons in three days - one on foot and one on a bike.    How's that for some scouting?    The Poço Iniciático did not disappoint by the way.  It's not even the only amazing thing in that place but I've been fixated on it since I heard about it.   

Yeah, that is a sign.   You have been doing a lot. A good chunk of that is doing things to take care of yourself, but it is still a lot. I would say you have been doing many of the good things.   It seems like your body and brain are demanding more deep relaxation time. If that is true, it would be prudent to schedule more of that rather than having to cancel fun things. You can always spontaneously go out and do something fun if you have extra energy. I hear you laughing at the idea of having extra energy. That is a sign.

Thank you. It's my proudest creation thus far.  Creation or Supplication? The initial inspiration was Millenium Tree by Josephine Wall. Might also be tree of life? (why is wayfarer the best link I can find right now?) My thought was strongly on the idea of a World Tree while I was working on it.  Hard to tell, but I was really trying to get the shoreline of Alaska and Russia, like the tree was growing from the north pole. The sun, the moon, the 4 seasons, the hands, reaching in... what?       Going to join the Patreon. This work needs to be supported and encouraged!     Hard question. My normal reaction to "superheroes and space wizards" would not be to go "sign me up!"  I think the author's voice was the biggest part.  The story is interesting and often compelling, and you hurt with and for the poor boy in the bubble. But then, there's a bark of laughter as the author gives you a bit of unexpected, but never miss placed, wit.  There wasn't much humor on the moon, and there shouldn't have been, but where it was, it was perfect. And you just had to CARE about him and Kibby and everything is wrong and getting wronger, and the lab gets blown up by a GIANT DEMON (she's not that big). I don't know how to explain it, but there's a button in my head that goes squee, and this story just stayed leaning on the squee button.  Tiny snake man! TINY SNAKE! And Stu, millimeters from his nose after he opens his eyes when saying he doesn't like his spell. And ass-abused learning cushions. And Mother giving him hot cocoa, and mad at Earth for copying.  And the game of hide the magic string when the healer is trying to attach things to him. And even the antagonists, you get to understand even if you don't like them.  Poor Hazel, never had a chance on Earth of being a decent person, maybe some desperately needed consequences will help her grow. Also, any lawyer worth their salt could have gotten her off, it was clearly self-defense, but Grandwitches secrets must be kept. And Jacob, didn't take Fragile Atmosphere, but gets to see what it looks like.  

Totally down for the crone coffee gathering.   I could even make cinnamon rolls from scratch. Those fall in the class of things that can be made at home, but a batch is too large for my household to eat. Or I could try making gluten-free aebleskiver. They have apples, which makes them seasonal. I have an aebleskiver pan that I hardly ever use and two bags of apples from the farmer's market. Just sayin.   I went for a walk at lunchtime today before I even caught up with your thread. Catching the vibe on the wind.

What did you two not like about them?