MEN ONLY THREAD part two

[Why not?]

I shave my head smooth once every 3-4 (usually 4) weeks. This keeps me within regs for the Army and saves me a couple hundred a year on haircuts. I shave it because it last longer than just buzzing and because I cannot reliably buzz my own head so that it looks presentable.

[Machete]

I shave my head smooth once every 3-4 (usually 4) weeks. This keeps me within regs for the Army and saves me a couple hundred a year on haircuts. I shave it because it last longer than just buzzing and because I cannot reliably buzz my own head so that it looks presentable.

 

Saved me $1'200 in haircuts.

[Sloth the Enduring]

I had to quit buzzing my own head, my wife said I looked like a mental patient.

[Frost of the Gloaming]

Yea the reason why my wife didn't like my shaved head was because it reminded her of someone that we lost to cancer

[Frost of the Gloaming]

fuck it I'm going to be blunt; I lost my brother last week, it was a sudden thing that no one can explain. I've been trying to deal with it the best that I can but right now I just feel myself getting angry over peoples stupid petty bullshit

[insanity]

fuck it I'm going to be blunt; I lost my brother last week, it was a sudden thing that no one can explain. I've been trying to deal with it the best that I can but right now I just feel myself getting angry over peoples stupid petty bullshit

Sorry to hear that... I know the feeling all too well. I'm not sure how I can help, but if you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me.

[Phytomancer]

fuck it I'm going to be blunt; I lost my brother last week, it was a sudden thing that no one can explain. I've been trying to deal with it the best that I can but right now I just feel myself getting angry over peoples stupid petty bullshit

*Hugs*

 

I am sorry. I hope I can do something to make you feel better. Please message me as well if you need someone to talk to.

[Suited hippy]

Sometimes we need to be angry to get us through things. And sometimes some people need to be petty to get over things. 

 

Sorry about your loss dude, rough stuff for sure when an unexpected death surrounds us. 

[Hit]

holy fuck, im so sorry frost i have no idea what you're going through, but its always okay to have feelings. if being angry helps, be angry. hugs!

[Red1263]

Find an outlet, something to vent to in order to process all of this, but please don't direct your anger and sadness inwards. Find someone, anyone to talk to, it'll make the grieving process a lot better, as someone who lost his father, I'm speaking from experience.

 

You're not in this alone, my friend

[Frost of the Gloaming]

Thank you all

 

Yea I'm trying to direct that anger into working out, going to try and start a Thursday night track meet/speed work out night

[erosan]

Stay safe, though. Working out angry can make you push yourself too hard. I'm sorry for your loss.

[Waldo]

So, a question for all the fathers out there.

First time my wife was pregnant I was nervous as heck and freaked out about everything, and wasn't terribly in-tune with my body, I didn't really notice a whole lot. This time around (#2) is way different. Very little in the way of nerves, freaked out about very little, and I notice changes in myself quite easily.

The thing that has really taken me aback....

"They" always say that pregnant women are beautiful. ...But when its your wife, I don't think that is the right word, because beautiful is a non-sexual word. Her being pregnant, that beautiful glow, is also the sexiest thing ever. Its weird because I don't find other pregnant women attractive, its more of a turn off (and was the first time around when nerves were through the roof). But this time, good lord she is almost unbearably hot, the more she shows the stronger it gets.

I've never heard of this being a thing. It makes a lot of sense biologically to be hardwired like this (both an attraction to yours and repulsed by others), but I never could have imagined it being as powerful as it is.

Am I just weird, or is this really a thing that I just haven't heard of before?

[wildross]

Definitely a thing. In a real way, pregnancy is one of the most natural and 'pure' expressions of femininity in the sense that it is something only a female can do. Not surprising that it turns the mate on...

[Why not?]

Yep, it's a thing.

[insanity]

So, a question for all the fathers out there.First time my wife was pregnant I was nervous as heck and freaked out about everything, and wasn't terribly in-tune with my body, I didn't really notice a whole lot. This time around (#2) is way different. Very little in the way of nerves, freaked out about very little, and I notice changes in myself quite easily.The thing that has really taken me aback...."They" always say that pregnant women are beautiful. ...But when its your wife, I don't think that is the right word, because beautiful is a non-sexual word. Her being pregnant, that beautiful glow, is also the sexiest thing ever. Its weird because I don't find other pregnant women attractive, its more of a turn off (and was the first time around when nerves were through the roof). But this time, good lord she is almost unbearably hot, the more she shows the stronger it gets.I've never heard of this being a thing. It makes a lot of sense biologically to be hardwired like this (both an attraction to yours and repulsed by others), but I never could have imagined it being as powerful as it is.Am I just weird, or is this really a thing that I just haven't heard of before?

Not a dad, but I've heard this quite often from many walks of life (Scientist to Marines). It would make sense biologically, since she's carrying your kid, that the attraction and/or protective instinct would kick into overdrive. At the same time, other pregnant women aren't carrying your kid, while also signifying there's no hope for you to have a kid with her, therefore no attraction.

Smarter Every Day explored this a bit in a video of his on youtube.

[Suited hippy]

Not a father either, but it does make biological sense to be wired to find them more attractive. Human babies are bloody useless compared to most other members of the animal kingdom. They need parents around to keep them alive until they fully develop. Finding the pregnant form more appealing keeps you around to deal/raise.

 

On a personal level, I find the older I get, the more and more I find early stage pregnant women more sexually attractive. 

[erosan]

A dad, and yes… its a thing. I figure it might partially be due to them producing mindbogling quantities of every natural chemical known to man… also, a beautiful woman is beautiful pregnant. and a hot woman is hot pregnant too. no discussion there, as far as I'm concerned.

[BarefootDawsy]

OK, I've got a question for you guys. How many of you were bullied at school? I'd be interested to know how you handled it, and what you would tell your kids to do about it if they were bullied?

[Mark D]

I was, especially when the weather got warm and I got a crew cut, one kid in particular would squeeze my head, etc.  Until one day I got fed up, turned around, and punched him in the mouth.  My fifth-grade teacher shook my hand and said "Good job".  Of course that was in the mid 1970's, we did things differently back then.  Today I'd have been suspended, sent for anger management, and told to consider how my haircut made the other kid feel and why he might have felt compelled to act as he did.

 

Funny thing is he left me alone after that.

[Cat in the rack]

I can recall now three occasions where I was bullied at school.

1) There was a teacher that didn't like me in primary school. And this wasn't the typical situation where there's an irritating child and the teacher stresses out because of it, this woman would do things intentionally to spite me. I remember one time she was handing out worksheets to everyone in the class, intentionally skipped me and then ignored me asking for the worksheet, then ten minutes later gave me detention for not doing the work. I don't believe I did anything to handle it seeing as I was like 9.

2) There was a guy that was a dick in secondary school. One time after PE in the changing rooms he came up to me and started shoving me for no reason as far as I could tell. At first I ignored it, told him to stop, after he didn't stop I threw what I imagine were some pretty shit punches seeing as I was like 15 and not at all athletic, but it got the job done, didn't have any problems after that.

3) I was around 16 and there was a schoolbus driver who really sucked at his job, kept getting complaints. One time he skipped my stop (I was the only one at that stop) so my dad decided to call up the bus company to angrily complain, I'd say he made way too big a deal out of it. I don't know if he left his full name or the exact stop location or what, but after that the bus driver took every chance to treat me like shit. For example, everyone bought weekly tickets which they'd show when they got on the bus, he'd stop me and nobody else and demand to see the receipt for the ticket; he'd purposely not stop at the stop I wanted to get off and go to the next one to make me walk further, and he tried on several occasions to ban me from the bus for little to no reason (ie, for standing rather than sitting, for walking upstairs while the bus was moving, for littering when I hadn't). He got fired after a few weeks, so no big issue.

As for what I'd tell a kid to do about it? I'd say it depends on the situation. A lot of people like to think there's some solution, that there's an 'if you get bullied you should do this' that will work 100% of the time, but it differs. If the bully's an authority, then the parents should be the ones to handle it, if the bully's a kid, some kids are insecure, some kids are show-offs, some kids are just violent assholes, it just depends.

[Endor]

I didn't really get bullied, I always felt sorry for the kids that did. The ones that took the bait and reacted verbally but not physically were generally the ones that got bullied long term.

 

These days I would immediately involve the school and if possible talk to the other kids parents, they might not know the kid is doing it.

 

Might be time for karate lessons!

[CyningaDena]

I grew up gay in rural Montana, and was bullied pretty from j-high through graduation. My parents were all about the "meet cruelty with kindness" approach -- bullies are insecure, the bigger man walks away, violence solves nothing, etc. And even though I'm this close to being a pacifist today, I still think that was a crap response to bullying and wish I would've punched someone in the face instead. After years of doing nothing, I started to believe that I deserved it, and I finished high school feeling like I was trash.

Maybe people get more traction and intervention with school administration these days, with all the "Bully-Free Zone" campaigns, although I don't see how such a thing would stop kids of that age from being a bunch of baboons in ugly haircuts establishing a pecking order. They're a pack of primates creating a social heirarchy, and in that context, violence absolutely accomplishes something. I plan on teaching my kids to dish out bloody noses to bullies, and then high-fiving them all the way through suspension. It is never acceptable for someone to treat you like trash; you push back with words and, when that doesn't work, with fists.

[matty_mcfly]

I'd have to agree with @Mark_D. We teach our 2.5 year old to say "please stop. I don't like that." If it doesn't stop he has the right to make it stop on his own.

The punch in the face thing is always good advice with a bully

[insanity]

I was more the "self-isolationist" when it came to my response. My parents were of the don't fight mentality so I just basically stopped interacting with people. It didn't help that I was a military brat and seemed to always be in a new school. I was in 6 schools over my school "career"  In high school I spent my lunches sitting in a corner on the ground away from everyone. Wasn't fun, but the bullying was kept to a minimum.

 

Now that I've grown up, I'm of the "bullies listen to force" mentality. Nothing like a punch in the face to get your message across.