MEN ONLY THREAD part two

[Frost of the Gloaming]

Meh as long as I can still do my 15ks and half marathons it's all good

[Mark D]

What is this running of which you speak? Aside from sprinting to the power rack so you can squat before the bro gets there to curl....

[Frost of the Gloaming]

You guys need to do a Hash, it's a game where you all meet at a pre-determined point, everyone drinks a beer* and a Hare gets elected, the Hare heads out with a bag of flour and leaves a trail behind him, the goal is to have the group (hounds) not catch him/her so you leave false trails and go through the roughest terrain possible, normally at the halfway point someone stashes a cooler and the hounds have to drink a beer before they can start chasing the Hare again, at the end there is of course more beer and songs, and all sorts of silly rules that if you break you have to drink/sing, drink beer out of a shoe; and of course there is the awful nicknames that if you don't use you have to drink meaning if someone is named "Ass Pocket" and you call his/her real name you have to drink and I don't mean good beer, I mean the cheapest nastiest stuff that you can find $10 a 30 rack stuff

 

* It's always a good idea to designate a DD(s)

[Mark D]

You guys need to do a Hash, it's a game where you all meet at a pre-determined point, everyone drinks a beer* and a Hare gets elected, the Hare heads out with a bag of flour and leaves a trail behind him, the goal is to have the group (hounds) not catch him/her so you leave false trails and go through the roughest terrain possible, normally at the halfway point someone stashes a cooler and the hounds have to drink a beer before they can start chasing the Hare again, at the end there is of course more beer and songs, and all sorts of silly rules that if you break you have to drink/sing, drink beer out of a shoe; and of course there is the awful nicknames that if you don't use you have to drink meaning if someone is named "Ass Pocket" and you call his/her real name you have to drink and I don't mean good beer, I mean the cheapest nastiest stuff that you can find $10 a 30 rack stuff

 

* It's always a good idea to designate a DD(s)

 

 

We used to play Quarters in college, back when the drinking age was 18.

 

For the uninitiated, in quarters you bounce a quarter off the table into a glass of beer.  if you get it in, you designate someone at the table to drink the beer.  If you miss, you can try again or pass.  If you try and miss, you drink the beer, if you get it in you designate.  The real fun comes from forbidden words and gestures though.  For instance, we used to play where you couldn't point to the designee with your finger, you had to point with your elbow, and the following words were forbidden (with the words you had to use in parenthesis:  drink (consume) quarter (coin) glass (container) beer (beverage) table (platform).  

 

Of course the more beverage you consumed, the more difficult this became.  Hilarity ensued.  Until we got kicked out of the bar for making a mess that is.

[Frost of the Gloaming]

Ah yea Quarters, Asshole, flip cup...... I need to do some heavy drinking

[Mark D]

Ah yea Quarters, Asshole, flip cup...... I need to do some heavy drinking

 

Boot-A-Bout - Pass the pitcher around the table and drink from it (glassed would be MUCH too civilized).  Whoever finishes it, the person who passed it to him has to buy the next one.

 

Beer-Hunter - Based on the Russian Roulette scene from the movie Deer Hunter.  Two contestants are blindfolded.  A six-pack (cans, and ponies preferred) is ceremonially removed from the rings.  One can is shaken, and they're mixed up.  Blindfolds are removed and contestants take turns selecting a can, holding it under the nose, and popping the top.  Whoever gets a bath must drink whatever is opened.  Do not EVER play this in your own home.

[Frost of the Gloaming]

Hmmm we have a giant glass boot, that could work

 

I may have to try that with soda over the summer, not to drink but just to make a gigantic mess out in the back yard

[Mark D]

Oh, there are more drinking games.  I'm proving I had a mis-spent youth......

 

First game placed under spoilers for profanity, you have been warned....

 

 

Bullshit - Each participant gets a -shit name (horseshit, dogshit, etc).  You begin with someone saying "Somebody shit in the parlor"  to which all respond  "Who shit?"  and he replies  (for instance) "Horseshit", the person who has that name then immediately responds "Bullshit!" and everyone asks "Who shit" to which Horseshit responds with someone else (for instance Catshit).  Continue until someone screws up.

 

If you fail to respond when you're accused of befouling the parlor you drink.  If you name the person who named YOU, you drink.  If you name someone that doesn't exist (for instance batshit when there is no batshit in the game) you drink.  If you're laughing to hard to respond you drink.  This last happens when people pick names like softshit, shitshit, caterpillarshit, etc.

 

Again, as drinking continues it gets more difficult. 

 

 

 

Drinking for dollars - Pass a pitcher around, drop a quarter into it, and drink what you want.  Want the money in the pitcher?  Chug it.  The trick being to take the tiniest sip each go-round, until the money in the bottom of an almost full pitcher becomes enough to overcome the fact that you'll be reverse-drinking it shortly.  (For the more innocent among us, reverse-drinking occurs when the volume of fluid consumed exceeds the stomach's capacity to hold said fluid and it comes back up.  Beer is often still foamy.)  

 

Then, if your goal is simply to get plastered:  

 

A shot of beer a minute.  Doesn't sound like much, an ounce-and-a-half of beer.  That's a can/bottle every eight minutes.  A six-pack every 48 minutes. A case of beer in 3 hours and 12 minutes.  I saw two guys do this at a party once.  It wasn't pretty.  

 

Oh, that minute between shots of beer?  The clock doesn't stop because you need to go to the bathroom.

 

At age 52 I no longer drink in order to get sh*tfaced, I learned a long time ago that they can make it a lot faster than I can drink it.  I drink beer, wine or whiskey (Scotch or Irish usually) because I enjoy it, and I know how much is enough.  Sometimes wisdom accompanies age, but sometimes age comes solo.

 

 

 

 

And if I may suggest the next manly topic, how about cigars?????

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I'm on board if we include pipes with cigars. For Cigars I prefer Macanudo, they made a maduro for a while that I really liked. I find the cigars I like best are from the Dominican Republic. I truly prefer pipes though. I have several, including some corn cob, briar, and one clay.

[wildross]

My chest is fairly well developed (muscle, not man boobs).  My wife was wondering if I would fill out an A cup.  Which was weird.  "I don't think they make bras in 50A"

 

I was worried there for a minute.....

[Endor]

My chest is fairly well developed (muscle, not man boobs).  My wife was wondering if I would fill out an A cup.  Which was weird.  "I don't think they make bras in 50A"

 

I was worried there for a minute.....

 

http://www.biggerbras.com/catalog/category/bras/bra-size/50a/

 

still a few hours left for a Christmas gift!!!

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

My chest is fairly well developed (muscle, not man boobs).  My wife was wondering if I would fill out an A cup.  Which was weird.  "I don't think they make bras in 50A"

 

I was worried there for a minute.....

I believe you want a bro, not a bra.

[Frost of the Gloaming]

stupid things you should be able to do but can't/don't: I have to make a schedule for my meal plan, as in I have to set an alarm clock to tell myself to eat, or else I won't and I will get light headed, cranky and all the other fun problems I have been having......

[Phytomancer]

stupid things you should be able to do but can't/don't: I have to make a schedule for my meal plan, as in I have to set an alarm clock to tell myself to eat, or else I won't and I will get light headed, cranky and all the other fun problems I have been having......

 

I have the opposite problem. I think about food all day every day. 

[Hit]

 

 

stupid things you should be able to do but can't/don't:

stand up to pee.

[Mark D]

stand up to pee.

I do that just fine thank you.

[Frost of the Gloaming]

I think if we gave women the ability to pee standing up just for one day they would be wicked jealous the rest of their lives, seriously it's so nice to be able to go behind a tree on a trail run and discreetly water the plants

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I grew up out in the country. One of my biggest complaints about living in town is having to go inside to pee.

[Bullroarer Took]

I live in town having grown up in the country.  My wife has made her peace with me peeing in the backyard in the privacy fence but still gets angry about the front yard.

[Hit]

 

 

I think if we gave women the ability to pee standing up just for one day they would be wicked jealous the rest of their lives

 

it's the only thing I miss.

[Phytomancer]

it's the only thing I miss.

 

Didn't they have the standing-pee cup on the market somewhere a long time ago?

 

[Bullroarer Took]

When your pregnant wife asks you how much you think she weighs don't guess...

[insanity]

When your pregnant wife asks you how much you think she weighs don't guess...

That sounds like there's no right answer... including silence...

[Phytomancer]

As a person with no experience with anything close to having a pregnant wife, I plan to just keep saying "I love you" with puppy eyes until she stops asking.

[Bullroarer Took]

Also when she says you are forgiven for making her self conscious about her weight because you brought home ice cream... you should not point out the logical problem with that.  When will I stop making true but unhelpful statements.