MEN ONLY THREAD part two

[insanity]

thanks for your responses everyone, but im not sure ive got enough to win this bet with the range of opinions coming through. lets try a slightly different approach:

 

if you could only pick one thing, what would you say is the core aspect of masculinity? "what makes a man?"

This is a tough one, but I would something along the lines of being a "rock". Being able to keep your wits about you, and handle the task at hand. Whether it's your daughter having her first "time of the month" or someone just kicked in your door at 3 am.

 

Do I get to ask what the bet was?

[Zorch]

Hey men, settle a bet. Do you think being dominant and competitive is a natural part of masculinity?

 

Depends how one defines dominance.  I'm definitely competitive - but dominance is somewhat subjective.  I don't feel the need to being the "official" decision-maker all the time, but if I have an opinion, you'd better damn well listen and factor my opinion into your decision.  I don't necessarily feel the need to be socially dominant, but in most situations you'd better believe that I want to be intellectually dominant.  However I am still willing to cede that intellectual dominance under certain circumstances once someone demonstrates sufficient knowledge/intellect.

 

if you could only pick one thing, what would you say is the core aspect of masculinity? "what makes a man?"

 

 

I think insanity's response is pretty close to the mark:

 

something along the lines of being a "rock". Being able to keep your wits about you, and handle the task at hand. Whether it's your daughter having her first "time of the month" or someone just kicked in your door at 3 am.

 

I think manliness is about being secure in the situation you're in, whatever that may be.  Knowing yourself, your strengths, and your limitations, and acting accordingly.

[Endor]

 

thanks for your responses everyone, but im not sure ive got enough to win this bet with the range of opinions coming through. lets try a slightly different approach:

 

if you could only pick one thing, what would you say is the core aspect of masculinity? "what makes a man?"

Depends what kind of man you are but testosterone typically plays it's part.

 

I'd be interested to know what you think is the core aspect of femininity? "what makes a woman"? 

 

[Red1263]

This is a tough one, but I would something along the lines of being a "rock". Being able to keep your wits about you, and handle the task at hand. Whether it's your daughter having her first "time of the month" or someone just kicked in your door at 3 am.

Something to this effect is my definition. Handling a situation regardless of what it is, but not panicking or freaking out and succumbing to fear.

[Hit]

 

 

I'd be interested to know what you think is the core aspect of femininity? "what makes a woman"?

 

i have no freaking clue. Maybe empathy.

[Thrillho]

i have no freaking clue. Maybe empathy.

 

I know... SO few people who qualify, then.  Like... four.

[Endor]

i have no freaking clue. Maybe empathy.

Someone (recently divorced) told me the other day that he thought the difference between men and women was that in general women didn't have the same idea about honour, which is one of the most important values a man can hold when dealing with other men. As a man, if you demonstrate you have no honour in your dealings with other men it's usually met with disgrace and disgust.

[Bearded_Dragon]

I think what makes a man is his ability to love. Love the woman (or man) he's with, honour and cherish them. Love his kids in such a way that they grow up to know they are special, important and deserving of love. Love friends in such a way that they know they can depend on him and love people strangers, because you never really know anyone's story. 

 

....I'm still working at it, hopefully I'll get there!

[Bearded_Dragon]

Wow...I should not be let in front of a keyboard when I'm that tired. Apologies for the soppiness of that post. It's so soppy it's dripping all over the floor, I'm going to need to put one of those yellow "slippery floor" signs up. Everyone be careful around this area, it's very slippery. 

[Jittersthe.Clown]

[Suited hippy]

If we are defining being a Man versus being male, I would say the greatest factor that embodies being a man is personal responsibility. It's encompassing of honor, of duty, of values. 

[Frost of the Gloaming]

I agree with you 100% Suited Hippy

 

One thing I don't understand, is why is house work (cooking/cleaning) considered feminine? I always wanted to ask those guys who could do neither if they plan(ned) to live with their mothers until they got married and then have their wives take care of them?

[Thrillho]

I agree with you 100% Suited Hippy

 

One thing I don't understand, is why is house work (cooking/cleaning) considered feminine? I always wanted to ask those guys who could do neither if they plan(ned) to live with their mothers until they got married and then have their wives take care of them?

 

I do all the cooking and cleaning and laundry.  That said... it was CONSIDERED feminine due to the decades of American post-war culture where the men had jobs and the women stayed home, since single-income was infinitely more manageable than it is these days.  

[The Spider]

If we are defining being a Man versus being male, I would say the greatest factor that embodies being a man is personal responsibility. It's encompassing of honor, of duty, of values. 

 

I agree with this 100%.  Owning up to mistakes, admitting faults, but also calling people out when they're NOT doing the right thing.  Men are expected to be workers and/or leaders, whether it's at home with the wife and kids or at work or in the military, the defining characteristic I would definitely say is being honest, trustworthy, proud of his abilities but humble in general terms, while standing up for their ideals.

[Frost of the Gloaming]

Trust me if we could swing it I would so be a SAHD, but that would be giving up a lot of stuff that I don't want to give up, (swim lessons, gymnastics, soccer, and family vacations) though there was a time before I got my promotion that my income almost matched what was going out due to childcare; that was a serious debate

 

I love when people walk in on you as you're washing your breakfast out of your beard while in the bathroom; which is a plus about having a long beard is that when your egg drips you don't have to worry about it getting on your shirt

[Thrillho]

I was a SAHD for a year.  Probably the happiest year of my life.  *sigh* I wasn't built to be a cubicle monkey. 

 

Also, we were DEAD broke for that whole year.  Like, returning our neighbor's cans and bottled for grocery money poor.  That kinda sucked.

[Suited hippy]

I dream of being a SAHD... My partner is younger than me, and already makes way more than I do. Just got to put that baby in her!

 

I would be the most popular parent at playdates, helping all the new mothers get back in shape, baking cookies, opening jars...

 

... I really should put a baby in her. 

[matty_mcfly]

Yea I would love to be a S@HD.  I mean, its never going to happen, but the thought is a beautiful.

[Hit]

 

 

the greatest factor that embodies being a man is personal responsibility. It's encompassing of honor, of duty, of values. 

this kinda sounds like the greatest factor in being an adult, as opposed to just for men. 

 

but thanks everyone for your responses, i wish you all well on your journeys to becoming stay at home fathers

[Phytomancer]

I have a 22 years contract for a job, so I won't be an SAHD, but it's an awesome concept. 

[Sloth the Enduring]

I hope you factored inflation into that contract.

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[Phytomancer]

I hope you factored inflation into that contract.

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Good thinking. I did.

[Purple_Panda]

I have a 22 years contract for a job, so I won't be an SAHD, but it's an awesome concept.

Are you building the Death Star!?

[Barmacral]

Naw, the White House vetoed that already.

[Frost of the Gloaming]

I'm thinking to myself what could I accomplish in 22years