Barfly Posted March 4, 2014 Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 Teenage girls with low self esteem and questionable morals Quote The past is only smoke in a dream. Lvl 6 Ranger Berzerker STR 9 DEX 4 STA 9 CON 8 WIS 2 CHA 8 Barfly ain't even tryin'... Link to comment
Reindeer Posted March 4, 2014 Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 A japanese, a Norwegian, and a Swedish person strands on a deserted island after a shipwreck. One day turn to two days turn to three days with no rescue in sight, and eventually they realize that they cannot actually just sit and wait for someone to come and get them. "Alright." said the swedish guy. "Lets be more productive today. Norwegian, you're going to build us a better shelter. I am going to go look for food. Japanese guy, you're going to look for supplies, whatever you can find." They agree on this plan and split up. The Norwegian built a mighty fine shelter from washed up debris, and the Swede returned to camp with enough food to feed them all for days. But the Japanese didn't return... and, as the night crept on, his friends got worried for his safety. They decided to go look for him the first thing after sunrise. The new day came, and the Swede and the Norwegian went further into the island, looking for any trace of their missing friend. Then suddenly the Japanese jumps out of the bushes with his hands over his head, yelling "Supplies!" 2 Quote Race: Reindeer l Lvl: Adventurer I will travel across the land, searching far and wide~ Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 4, 2014 Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 What do you call a snake that studies past events? A HISSStorian. 1 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted March 4, 2014 Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 A blonde walks into a beauty parlor wearing headphones hooked up to a mp3 player strapped to her arm. She tells the hairdresser, "I want you to do my hair, but whatever you do, don't take off my headphones." So the hairdresser starts doing the woman's hair, but soon gets to a poing where it's impossible to continue with the headphones in the way. The blonde has her eyes closed at this point, so the hairdresser figures she's asleep and moves the headphones off one ear. The blonde doesn't say anything, so the hairdresser continues cutting until it's impossible to continue with the headphones in the way. So the hairdresser takes the headphones off completely. The blonde doesn't say anything, so the hairdresser continues cutting. About 3 minutes later, the blonde falls over dead. The hairdresser is agast, and wondering what was so important about the headphones picks them up and listens. "Breathe in.... breathe out.... breathe in.... breathe out..." 1 Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
maenumania Posted March 4, 2014 Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 Then suddenly the Japanese jumps out of the bushes with his hands over his head, yelling "Supplies!" 2 Quote Level 1 - assassinSTR: 3, DEX: 2, STA: 2, CON: 2, WIS: 3, CHA: 3Current Challenge: maenumania learns the secrets of spidermanBattle Log: We are the hero of our story!--------------------------------------------------------------------Challenge Archive: #1 - Let's kill those rats and spider!--------------------------------------------------------------------Where other men blindly follow the truth, remember nothing is true. Where other men are limited, by morality or law, remember everything is permitted. We work in the dark to serve the light. We are the Assassins. Link to comment
Reindeer Posted March 4, 2014 Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 Quote Race: Reindeer l Lvl: Adventurer I will travel across the land, searching far and wide~ Link to comment
Bearded_Dragon Posted March 11, 2014 Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? 4 Quote Link to comment
Basement Cat Posted March 11, 2014 Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 If I got a nickel for every time somebody said I was OCD, I would have 33 dollars and 65 cents. 3 Quote Current form: Chubby House Cat (lvl4) Weight objective: 20% S. 4 P. 6 E. 4 C. 7 I. 8 A. 4 L. 5 Battle log Current Challenge Handy linky. Link to comment
Basement Cat Posted March 11, 2014 Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 Here's a few more: (the answers are written in white, highlight to see them.) What did the Bhuddist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't look, I'm changing!How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed! Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.What is the definition of a good farmer? A man outstanding in his field. 2 Quote Current form: Chubby House Cat (lvl4) Weight objective: 20% S. 4 P. 6 E. 4 C. 7 I. 8 A. 4 L. 5 Battle log Current Challenge Handy linky. Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 11, 2014 Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 What has 9 arms & sucks? Def LeppardWinner! Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 13, 2014 Report Share Posted March 13, 2014 Oh Bad Joke Thread.... I have neglected you of late. How remiss of me. I'm sure I still have plenty of REALLY BAD jokes up my sleeve. Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 13, 2014 Report Share Posted March 13, 2014 Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Batman!!!! 4 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
insanity Posted March 13, 2014 Report Share Posted March 13, 2014 Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Batman!!!! While I understand the joke.... trying to actually read that is hard... Quote "Insanity - you make my world a better place man, you really do! That shit is awesome! :D" - Guzzi- My first challenge My battle Log: Insanity: Warrior Monk Honorary Ranger dubbed by DarK_RaideR, 1000 Pound club (875 of 1000) Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 13, 2014 Report Share Posted March 13, 2014 A blonde goes to the doctor and says: I don't know what's wrong with me, I hurt everywhere!Dr: what do you mean?Blonde touches her left leg, "Ow!"Blonde touches her right leg, "Ow!"Blonde touches her stomach, "Ow!"Blonde touches her shoulder, "Ow!"Blonde touches her nose, "Ow!"Dr: Ok, I see what's going onBlonde: is it serious doctor?Dr: No not really, you've got a broken finger... 2 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 13, 2014 Report Share Posted March 13, 2014 While I understand the joke.... trying to actually read that is hard...I did warn you they were bad.... Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 13, 2014 Report Share Posted March 13, 2014 Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it's too far to walk! 1 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 13, 2014 Report Share Posted March 13, 2014 What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill 2 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 13, 2014 Report Share Posted March 13, 2014 A little more tasteless: What's black and white and has a hard time going through a revolving door? A nun with a spear through her. 1 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 13, 2014 Report Share Posted March 13, 2014 Priceless!!!!! Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 13, 2014 Report Share Posted March 13, 2014 She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still 4 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 13, 2014 Report Share Posted March 13, 2014 Had my rubber band gun confiscated in Algebra class today. Teacher said it was a weapon of math disruption. Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 13, 2014 Report Share Posted March 13, 2014 How do you get a party going in the universe? You planet. 1 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 13, 2014 Report Share Posted March 13, 2014 What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks? Fowl weather. 1 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
insanity Posted March 13, 2014 Report Share Posted March 13, 2014 I did warn you they were bad.... I meant in a tongue twister kinda way.... :-) Taking it to a new level of tasteless... They're bad...Really bad...I'm warning you...Alright... last time..How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them. How many dead babies does it take to wallpaper a wall? Depends on how thinly you slice em 2 Quote "Insanity - you make my world a better place man, you really do! That shit is awesome! :D" - Guzzi- My first challenge My battle Log: Insanity: Warrior Monk Honorary Ranger dubbed by DarK_RaideR, 1000 Pound club (875 of 1000) Link to comment
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