Reluctant Amazon Posted March 17, 2014 Report Share Posted March 17, 2014 It was a triumph.I'm making a note here, huge success. So yeah I kinda dropped off the map. Still struggling HARD with my gender issues. I've started losing weight again. 4 Quote Link to comment
Vella Posted March 18, 2014 Report Share Posted March 18, 2014 Hey, RA! Good to know you're still about If you need time out, take time out - good to hear (I assume) that you're starting to find your footing again and are getting back into healthy. Looking forward to seeing you round the boards again! Quote Previous challenges: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) Link to comment
Timmy M Posted March 18, 2014 Report Share Posted March 18, 2014 good to know you're still kicking dudette, i hope you manage to work through everything Quote Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted March 18, 2014 Report Share Posted March 18, 2014 Glad to see you around still. Life has a way of throwing things in our way, from time to time, that makes us struggle. It's these things that bring some of the happiest moments when we figure them out. Good luck with your journey and stay in touch with us. 1 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Frost of the Gloaming Posted March 18, 2014 Report Share Posted March 18, 2014 we are here when you need us Quote Between a rock and a hard place, use our finger nails to climb, it's all we know.......... Daily Mile Perfer et obdura: Dolor hic tibi proderit olim Link to comment
Thrillho Posted March 18, 2014 Report Share Posted March 18, 2014 FLYING NON-GENDER-SPECIFIC BRUTE-SQUAD TACKLE-HUGS!!! ... or, you know, maybe a polite card, or something. I haven't decided yet. 1 Quote The cancer was aggressive, but the chemotherapy was aggressive, as well. There was aggression on both sides. Link to comment
Reluctant Amazon Posted March 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 18, 2014 Im on the verge of semi-big shifts Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment
Frost of the Gloaming Posted March 18, 2014 Report Share Posted March 18, 2014 remember to hit the clutch....... (sorry couldn't resist) 1 Quote Between a rock and a hard place, use our finger nails to climb, it's all we know.......... Daily Mile Perfer et obdura: Dolor hic tibi proderit olim Link to comment
Pathfinder Posted March 18, 2014 Report Share Posted March 18, 2014 Welcome back! Quote "The woods are the only place I can see a clear path." Pathfinder, Nord (Adventurer) Measurements: 163 lbs (N 13.625, C 39, W 37.5, H 40, RB 12.75, LB 12.75, RT 20.5, LT 21, RC 13.5, LC 13.25) BMR: 1562.5 Kcal Challenge Level/Stats: Level 0 (STR-0) (DEX-0) (STA-0) (CON-0) (WIS-0) (CHA-0) Rebel Levels: Level 3 (EQ 1) Academy Levels: Adventurer/Level 1 (Nutrition - 1) (Caffeine - 1) (Sugar - 1) Challenges: #1 Link to comment
Ahyar Dreamspark Posted March 18, 2014 Report Share Posted March 18, 2014 Welcome back RA! Echoing what everyone else said: we're all here for support :3 Best of luck on every aspect of your journey! Quote Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 19, 2014 Report Share Posted March 19, 2014 Hey RA! How you getting on? Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Reluctant Amazon Posted March 21, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 Well, one thing may have resolved. I had a personal crisis and that has changed my interpretation of my feelings. Realized I'm a lot more bigendered or gender fluid than straight up transgendered. Things feel up. And I think a return to lifting heavy things and putting them down again is imminent Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 3 Quote Link to comment
Vella Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 Great that things are looking up - a bit of extra self-knowledge frequently does wonders for one's outlook Let us know how you go with the lifting heavy things! We'd love to see you bragging in the Woot Room. Quote Previous challenges: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) Link to comment
Twilight Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 I'm genderfluid, too. Nice to meet you! Quote Link to comment
Reluctant Amazon Posted March 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 And now I feel worse than ever. I feel like I'm just a fat gut with a sexual fetish, extreme self loathing and clinging to the idea of transition as an escape Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment
Twilight Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 I'm sorry to hear that things are really difficult for you right now. Is there someone you can talk to in person? Friends, family, a professional? You don't have to carry this pain alone. Quote Link to comment
Reluctant Amazon Posted March 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 I have a therapist Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment
Frost of the Gloaming Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 When all else fails put on some pretty dresses and rock out to some Smashing Pumpkins Quote Between a rock and a hard place, use our finger nails to climb, it's all we know.......... Daily Mile Perfer et obdura: Dolor hic tibi proderit olim Link to comment
ColoQ Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 Welcome back! Your tribe has been waiting, it seems (based on the replies to this thread alone). I'm sorry to hear that things are really difficult for you right now. Is there someone you can talk to in person? Friends, family, a professional? You don't have to carry this pain alone.I wanna echo talking to a professional. I was resistant to the idea myself but now its one of the best decisions I've ever made. And now I feel worse than ever.I feel like I'm just a fat gut with a sexual fetish, extreme self loathing and clinging to the idea of transition as an escapeSent from my iPhone using TapatalkYou are special, and Wonderful. You are wanted and needed. Your contribution to this melting pot of life is necessary! Its something that you might not be able to see right now but its there. I hope you can find it in your heart to be comfortable in your skin: whatever shape, gender or identity that is. My current girlfriend was a self identified "Bull Dyke" (her words, not mine) at one point, but is now a Pansexual Gender fluid person dating a guy. Change is tough. Change is necessary. Its not wrong or bad to be confused and explore. Hang in there! Quote ColoQ || Level: 0 Techno Troll || Assassin ========================= Current Challenge: 0 - V.2 Previous Challenges: , -------------------------------------------------- STR 0 || DEX 0 || STA 0 CON 0 || WIS 0 || CHA 0 -------------------------------------------------- Link to comment
Bekah Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 And now I feel worse than ever.I feel like I'm just a fat gut with a sexual fetish, extreme self loathing and clinging to the idea of transition as an escapeSent from my iPhone using Tapatalk****biggest giant hugs****I am sorry you feel that way I tend to feel the same way sometimes, like "yeah right, you got lucky once, no one else is ever going to want you regardless of whether you are looking for men or women, so just give up before you get started" but you know what...that bullshit isnt true, thats just our head lying to us trying to make us believe the worst about ourselves because all the people who have made us feel that way all of our lives were scared of who we can be, and who we would be, if we felt free from judgement to be ourselves. Don't let them win, let YOU win <3 1 Quote Druid Assassin Halfling Druid Level 16, Current Quest: Bekah Returns Spoiler Fitbit Facebook Your life does not get better by chance. It gets better by change. - Jim Rohn Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 You are special, and Wonderful. You are wanted and needed. Your contribution to this melting pot of life is necessary! Its something that you might not be able to see right now but its there. I hope you can find it in your heart to be comfortable in your skin: whatever shape, gender or identity that is.^^^^^^ This. So much this 3 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
SevenofSeven Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 Sorry to see you are having a hard time. So I give you virtual hugs. I agree with what people in our community are saying, you are wonderful, and unique, and we care about you. Quote Wait! What............? Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 but you know what...that bullshit isnt true, thats just our head lying to us trying to make us believe the worst about ourselves because all the people who have made us feel that way all of our lives were scared of who we can be, and who we would be, if we felt free from judgement to be ourselves. Don't let them win, let YOU win <3^^^^ And this. You will never find a harsher critic than your own self doubts. Believe me. You deserve to be happy and feel good about yourself, to be free from all that guilt and self loathing. But you need to believe that, and give yourself permission to be happy, to love yourself, to accept yourself without compromise. It's ok to do that. Big hugs. Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Vella Posted March 28, 2014 Report Share Posted March 28, 2014 And now I feel worse than ever.I feel like I'm just a fat gut with a sexual fetish, extreme self loathing and clinging to the idea of transition as an escapeSent from my iPhone using Tapatalk All of the virtual hugs I can give. Brains can be awful things, and they tell the worst lies. Don't listen to it when it tries to get you down, and remember that no matter what, we're here for you We think you're wonderful and love to be around you, even when you don't. You go ahead and do what you need to do for you, and we'll be here with support, always. Quote Previous challenges: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) Link to comment
Reluctant Amazon Posted March 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 Thanks for the support. It's just a very very tough call to make. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment
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