A new hope

[Petts1337]

Hi to all,

This is my first post so I hope you won’t mind my giving you a little introduction to set the scene!

I’m Jordan, 24 years old, based in the North West of England and have been a member of the rebels now for almost a year.

Why are you only posting now you may or may not ask.

Well – I’m asking for some advice/help with motivation.

My weight has fluctuated since my early teens and this has largely been due to situations at home and in life, my constant search to find a hobby and, the big one, alcohol.

I suffer with Anxiety and Depression, and have done from a very young age, and have often used alcohol as a crutch. I take both anti-depressants and beta-blockers (the latter for anxiety, but I imagine it goes somewhat to helping my blood pressure.) In the middle of last year my other half, whom I was in a long term relationship with, left me out of the blue and ultimately broke me. I spent a good few months signed off work and lost almost 2 stone in weight in a matter of weeks.

Following an intervention from my family I did begin to get back on my feet and threw myself into exercise. I gained weight, gained some bulk and was generally in good shape. This didn’t last too long, however, and 18 months later I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been (14st/5’8” tall) and am consuming, on average, and this is a conservative figure, 7 or 8 pints of lager a night. A Saturday and Sunday can be as many as 12+ pints respectively. It's a problem. I am what they call a 'functioning alcoholic.' I hold down a job, but live a seperate life in the evening. I'm not proud of it, it depresses the hell out of me, and, with the new year approaching, I feel it'd be as good as any time to make a change.

I’ve been a member of my gym for some time and can count the times I’ve been on less fingers than are on one hand. This needs to change, somehow.

It’s for this reason that I’m trying to make the first step in improving my health, both mentally and physically, and I’m reaching out to you guys to try give me a hand. It’s going to be a tough one, but I truly hope that at the end of it, with your help, I can be another success story.

If you can offer any advice or motivation to get me to begin this journey, I’ll keep you all in posted. I can be someones little project!

I’m an avid gamer and very much wish to hit top level irl

I plan to start a blog to track progress, depending on if I get (m)any replies, and would love for you guys to be part of it. If I feel I have a reason for doing it (other than the obvious - getting healthy) I feel, knowing how my head works, it'll keep me on track.

Hoping to hear from you all and thank you in advance.

With sincere thanks,

 Jordan

[FatboySuave]

Hey Jordan, nice to meet you! My name's Richard and I've been on the forums for about a year and the Academy for about 6 months. I saw your post on the FB Academy group. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of tough stuff. I wish I could offer some sage advice, but the truth is I have no experience in what you're going through. I'm always thinking about ways to cut back on my own drinking, but my situation is more along the lines of binge drinking in social situations. I wouldn't necessarily say I have a problem (though maybe I'm just in denial, lol). When you say you're drinking nightly, are you drinking alone or in social situations? And I'm curious about your quest to find a hobby. Do you feel like having something more productive to do would help you deal with your anxiety/depression and alcohol habit? What do you like to do for fun?

 

Even though I may not be able to help too much, I wanted to drop in and offer my support nonetheless, if only to let you know you're not alone! If you ever need to vent, I'd be glad to be here for you and read whatever you need to get off your chest. And you're welcome to send me a private message.

 

As far as the lack of motivation, that's something I struggle with too. I think we all do, lol. But I've found that thinking about it in a different way has helped me. Steve Kamb has written advice along the lines of "Fuck motivation. Instead cultivate discipline." That has really helped me too. He says motivation is a fickle thing, so you shouldn't rely on it. Instead, if you can train yourself to become disciplined, you'll be more likely to workout or eat healthy when you're feeling unmotivated. For me, something as small as avoiding the word "motivation" can help in some situations. If I'm lying around in bed and don't feel like working out, I repeat the word "discipline" over and over in my head and sometimes (not all the time) I'll find the will to do what needs to be done.

[Petts1337]

Hi Richard,

Many thanks for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate it.

When I say I’m drinking nightly I am indeed drinking alone. I used to frequent the pub quite often but generally avoid is now, largely due to my anxiety. I am aware that quitting, or at the very least cutting down, would help my general mood and health but it’s getting the ball rolling which is the difficult part.

As for hobbies – when I’m not working I spend most of my time gaming and drinking. I know the latter isn’t a hobby but, as defined ‘an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure’ I ought to include it.

In an ideal world, my new hobby would be honing my body from fat to fit but, realistically, I find the gym a miserable place to be and my home gym (a bench press and free weights in the spare room) has been gathering dust for some time. Going through school I did play a lot of sports, namely Cricket (the only game I was naturally good at) but the transition from under 16 to the adult game wasn’t pleasant. Sledging, the act of abusing the other player to put them off – and yes, it’s legal in the game – knocked my confidence and that was that.

I do like the ‘fuck motivation’ idiom. When I’m ‘in the zone’ I can’t be told ‘no.’ I’m a very stubborn person when I’ve got my mind set on something.

Anyway – once again, thank you for your reply.

Now, just to work out where to go from here..

[Raincloak]

Please contact a UK hotline that specializes in addiction/alcoholism.  That is a medical disorder and you need professional advice to deal with it.  If you're seeing a therapist for your depression, tell them you have a drinking problem and need help.

 

Asking for help is hard, but it's one of the best things you can do for yourself right now.  Some problems are too big to face alone, and that's why help is available, but you have to reach out and ask.  Addiction is a tough problem because it has both mental and physical components keeping you stuck.  Doing what you've been doing and expecting life to get better won't work.  Same input = same results.  Do something different.  Ask the pros for help.  Please.