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I spent the last half of the previous challenge feeling like I was slowly sinking into the dark. Things were getting a little overwhelming and the only thing I felt I could do was try to enjoy the silence and solitude as much as possible because it was that or lose my grip on everything. A temporary med adjustment and my Dave coming home has buoyed me up again a bit, but on my ascent I realized that I had been getting glimmers of the goodness around me even in the darkness. Reviewing my forum posts and my daily journalling showed me that in hindsight it hadn’t been total darkness, that there were moments of brilliance and strangeness and beauty even in what emotionally felt like a barren ecosystem. This is a good reminder that our perceptions don’t always line up with the facts, and it’s one I need to keep in mind as we slip into shorter days and longer nights with the seasonal change as it can affect me.     This challenge will be primarily focused on collecting glimmers. A glimmer is the opposite of a trigger: something that catches your attention that makes you feel good, content, grateful, playful, contemplative, etc. I like to think that I am pretty good at noticing these things and drawing them into myself, but a more dedicated practice for a bit can’t hurt anything. Glimmers are related to a gratitude practice in my head, but they aren’t quite the same thing for me: glimmers are more fleeting, more catch and release than my gratitude practice, which is ritualized and written down. I am not sure if I’ll be writing down my glimmers for this challenge or not, but I think I’d like to if I can without damaging the ethereal nature of them. So this part of tracking things will be kind of wishy-washy, but I think that will be okay.      In terms of tracking I do have my chart ready to go:     I am hoping that a lower stakes challenge will help me recover a bit and fortify for the next round of Dave’s absence which will be January 4 to the end of March-ish. I need to be farther away from burnout before we do this again.    I hope that you are feeling cool and collected and ready to conquer your respective challenges if you are already on the boards for Zero Week. If you are taking the Zero Week to regroup and rest, then I wish you the deepest and most restful recovery.    Thanks for being here. ❤️  

I am currently shopping for a new horse and came across an ad for a 4 year old stallion who "would make an excellent gelding." My immediate thought is I dated some guys that phrase would have applied to.

Of course! They are the real stars of the show 🥰    

Yup I am right there with you. I was really hoping that getting a job would help me ease back into my old routines. I feel I've been in a rut for 1-2 years now. The embracing the nothingness did help originally but I need more sparkle in my life. Everything feels so dull! And I'm craving more.    Walking mostly because it's the easiest and most accessible for me. But also physical chores like cleaning the gardens for winter, visiting/grooming/riding my damn horse*🥲, playing disc with Winnie (dog).  I do really want to work on my mobility and strength but that comes later I think. The option is there but it's not a specific goal.    * I love her 🤣 she doesn't care I'm not riding but she's an expensive pet ($500cad/month) so I might as well be doing the thing and at least hanging out with her more because it's really beneficial to my mental health. 

Hey Rookie! Here to cheer and get all the updates on your adventures. Bonus pics of the pups are always welcome too.  

Super fun set-up. May your coffers overfloweth with Argold.

It is definitely not enough. And it no longer matters how much someone else is infatuated with me, I am not responsible for their infatuation or returning their attention. That has been an issue a few times. 

Oh? My interest has been peaked.    Also I looked at the painting 👀 beautiful ❤️ 

Broody and Moody - I absolutely am. Thank you for that. ❤️    Believe me, I was making sounds too!   I think that is the primary benefit of checking in here regularly - the logging keeps me honest, but also serves as the archive and I am not always reliable in the memory department, but I am very good at documentation. 😅   I don’t know what I have done to welcome such incredible friendship, but same, Friend, same. ❤️ I am so grateful for you and the space you occupy in my life.    I have absolutely loved it. I felt like I would if I gave myself permission to commit to it. I wish it were powerlifting, but I will take this over doing nothing.  Yes, it is. *sigh*   Thank you! Yes, I was excited about the advent calendar. I freaking love advent calendars (probably because I am a December baby, so it was a countdown to my birthday *and* Christmas) so this was a great treat for me. It’s going to be a lot of work to get things painted, but it will be worth it.  Canada does do Thanksgiving, just much, much earlier than the US. Similar foods on offer though, although sweet potato casserole topped with marshmallows is a distinctly American thing and not really done up here unless it’s by American expats.  Yeah, I am not a super huge fan of this guest. They always come for far longer than I want them to and make my life awkward. But they are very close to Dave, so I need to deal. Last time they were here was right smack dab in the middle of our reintegration last time and oof, that was rough.    Yes. They wanted to arrive for Thanksgiving which would have been this past weekend and I said I wasn’t comfortable with that given that Dave was just getting home, so they delayed until into November. Much better I think. I hope it’s better this time around because last time was a doozy.    Teeny message to say love you back. ❤️