DaemonCorax

I'm on FB very little - I just keep it for Marketplace and Messenger. But I do give brain cells to Instagram pretty frequently.

I'm clocking around 10 years here on the forums, and your story about becoming a power lifter was part of what pulled me in. Whatever you decide, you built something big here. It may not last forever, but on a geologic timescale, we're all just little blips anyway. I hope you find interesting challenges and warm community where ever work and life take you next. If you do leave, I'll miss the lifts and the chickens, but I can handle it

I love this. Parenting has drastically reduced my time on social media, but in time of overwhelm I definitely doom scroll too much. Your challenge seems to be walking a parallel path to mine. Good luck! Onward!

So this week is the first week of MFH being a student again. This means I have kid pickup MWF as usual and now dropoff TuTh. This seems like a lot to process along with weekday non-work tasks, going to the gym, and trying to ride my bike. Although this weekend was fun I'm really feeling the lack of solo endurance stuff time outside. The gym is great, but it isn't outside. I'm so overwhelmed by my calendar that I went into Outlook and started booking my commuting and gym and kid pickup/dropoff times on a separate calendar so I can keep it straight and won't let the overwhelm cause me to decide to skip something. All the same, it doesn't make sense for me to completely flip my schedule right now because I am the one who cooks and MFH is the one who reheats and there's only so much I can always have ready for him to get going for dinner. Also, adding bike commuting back to the mix adds about 20 minutes to my commute so that would push dinner even later. The next two weeks, dizzyingly look like this: M: gym AM, 1st meeting at 10 Tu: dropoff, bike commute W: bike commute Th: dropff, rest day, too much else on that day F: gym PM M: bike commute Tu: dropoff, gym W: bike commute Th: dropoff, gym F: bike commute I'm hoping that second week becomes a common configuration. Today I had dropoff and I went to the gym. If the small one wants to bike to school, that's another instance where I will probably bike commute as well. After 9 days off, my climbing felt pumpy and weak. My lifts were a plateau basically - although I was still being careful of my neck and I didn't feel like pushing up to 150 for the back squat after such a long break. Autobelay 5.8, 5.10-, 5.10-, 5.10+ black and crimpy 1/2-way twice, 5.10+ new blue 1/2-way, lots of gastons, RDLs 45 5x, 95 5x3, 105 5x, 115 5x, left hand grip is a bit weak but these felt good OHP 45 5x 50 5x 55 5x3 these were the first OHP or press since I hurt my neck 12/23. No problems. Back squat 45 5x 115 5x 125 5x 135 3x2 took it real easy here Also did some core work and dead bugs.

Well this weekend was not as planned. Friday and Sunday we had hoped to ski this big network of Nordic trails. Friday: Windchill of 5. Too cold for the 4 year-old. Very windy. Sunday: Left the baby's bag of things at the house and had to backtrack and reorient to somewhere closer Then Saturday and a little bit Sunday we spent time at a giant ski and sledding area near the ski resort. That was a good call. I tried to learn some downhill/alpine skiing things from our friend, but I think my boots are too small and I really am better at going up hills than down hills. Our drive home was split over two days. After watching pass closures and weather maps, we stopped halfway across i70 for the night and continued the drive in daylight. It was great staying with our friend and playing in the snow, but I definitely didn't get my skiing and solo snow time itch scratched (I was hoping for a solo lap of the crosscountry park one of those days). This week remains a bit of a mess, so I haven't decided when I'm going to the gym, if I'm going to be able to bike commute, or what. Saturday we will go play in the snow locally, which will either be snowshoes (way easier for kid chasing) or xc skiing. Turns out the baby LOVES riding in his backpack and being in the winter.

I did something today I haven't done since May. I made it to the gym at 7:30 and then got to work at 10. Things were a little high gravity this morning. Or maybe I was just having a time of it puzzling through new autobelay routes. Then lifting, I'm babying my neck so I didn't set any goals about pushing weight until it felt right. When I got to squats I (1) pushed weight a bit and (2) was super happy I have moved squats to the end of the workout. Autobelay: 5.10-, fell off 5.10+ weirdness 2x at the double round white holds, can't even start the purple 11- next to it. new 5/10 pink facing the speed wall, missed the last move, 5.10 purple facing the bouldering wall still can't solve the puzzle 3/4 the way up, 5.9 purple to end it out. Bench press 45 5x, 75 5x2, 80 5x3. I backed down a little here to focus on how to connect to leg drive. I don't REALLY need it here, but I need to learn it. That "arch" that everyone talks so much s$%^ about for women bench presses really is the key to engaging leg drive for me. My lower back is long, so there isn't a dramatic arch, but it's there just to turn on the leg drive and connect my toes to my ribs. Barbell row 35 7x3 focus on scapula movement at the top and bottom before each pull Front squat 45 5x, 75 5c, 80 5x2 90 5x. That's a front squat PR for me. With front squat I'm using a cross grip. I really want to learn how to grip it in a more Olympic style but I'm having trouble keeping my elbows up. Seems like something I should wait an work on AFTER the tendonitis in my wrist/thumb chills out. I also did a bunch of core work roughly along the Pilates+yoga lines. Feeling pretty ok. I'm not going to post much until Tuesday. And then it will be a skiing/snowshoeing family trip summary. Hope to be back in the gym next Wednesday.

Hey there! I read the whole thing in your first post. I think it's hard as we get older to avoid our lives becoming smaller. This really hit home for me over the holidays - we have 2 kids this year and everyone except me got sick - both in the house and in our chosen family. I feel immense pull to catch up with all these people over the next couple weeks (all 3 of them) so the relationships don't change and we don't become less present in each others lives. But the reality of having kids and then COVID happening already contracted our circle in a way that I'm not sure we will drift back to. There will be new friends, but some of our non-kid friends don't have interest in dancing around our new schedules, and that may be what it has to be. Reaching out and finding new people gets harder and harder. Try to get adopted by an extrovert (That's what I did)

I should have also mentioned, Saturday I got some solo time at the gym. I just climbed and made some new belay friends. The neck is still weird and sore because my sleep has been terrible and holding a baby isn't a good ergonomic way to recover from a tweaked neck. It was a nice 2 hours. I fell off an 11- but got it in the end. I failed on the chimney climb where they had removed ALL the holds - this particular chimney is too wide for me to scootch, so all the hip stabilization is needed to Spider-Man it. I set up the rings in the basement again and was rewarded by some excellent shoulder stretches. I'm also trying to take a deep breath about the year. I think we're kicking moving even farther down the road (like multiple years). I hate that we're storing the little camper off site, but MFH brought home 14' of toolboxes on Friday and frankly the cost of the storage locker for the camper is much less than the likely increase in mortgage if we were to move with interest rates as they are - nevermind all the nonsense of using our current house's equity to be the down payment on the next one, and then selling this one, and....etc etc. It's a weird vaguely obsessive place to be. I love our house. I don't love our HOA and our garage/camper situation. With the small one going to kindergarten in the fall, we will still have to pay for some after school care. And MFH is going to school. So we'll have to see how the VA money feels in terms of breathing room before revisiting moving next fall. I feel like our generation puts too much value on over optimizing and I am grateful for the home we have, but I also have some (I think) good reasons for wanting to hop across the street to an older non-HOA neighborhood. It's a want not a need right now.

Well week 1 was a bust. The tiny one had rsv. It wasn't critically scary, but it was a rough time for the little guy and the big people who stayed up with him sitting in front of the shower and trying to help him sleep and drink. Last night it snowed a little and I rode to work this morning. My feet got cold about 5 minutes from work, but otherwise it was ok. The morning after fresh snow, the road shoulders are fluffy and riding is fun. Tomorrow morning the refreeze will be a mess. I'm trying to get to the gym tomorrow morning. Thursday we are going out of town to see a friend a do some free western slope skiing for the long weekend. That will count as workouts and hopefully feel like an actual break.

Looks like I wrote down those lofty goals after all. Oops. Pinning this link as another major ride I'd like to do that's more accessible to me than WRIAD. (Which is to say, I should do it first.) https://theradavist.com/tour-de-pikes-peak-reflections-on-my-first-bike-tour/

Starting a challenge on New Year's, it is tempting to write down lofty goals an resolutions. But I'm tired. And I have learned: there is no shortcut and there is no straight line to anything. As a very goal driven person, and as someone who grew up with a lot expected of me, this is a tough one. I am learning to attach less to expectations, but that tends to fall flat with what I expect of myself. And I expect I expect too much. (see what I did there?) So what will 2024 be? I will be the year my oldest starts kindergarten and my youngest learns to walk. It will be the year MFH goes back to school and leaves the orthopedic nightmare that being a veteran and a mechanic has been for him (we hope). It will be the year I turn 40. Turning 40 seems like a big deal. It seems like something I want to arrive to, not a line I drag myself over. But we're very draggy over here right now. Caught in the pinball machine of work, sick kids, too little sleep, and never quite feeling like you're taking enough time for yourself and not knowing where you could take it from anyway. Work this year should be mellow enough for me to carve out some me-time. That's something. Not all me-time is a workout, but most of it is. I'd like to learn guitar and I'd like to draw more, but my big multi-year goals are huge bike rides and doing another bigwall with MFH, so there's a lot of fitness groundwork to lay. (resolution: I should drink more water.) Workout-wise for this challenge I have a little bit of a conundrum: lifting weights is huge foundation for me. It helps my climbing in spite of the whole power:weight ratio part of climbing, and it makes me feel good. But I actively miss riding my bike, both commuting and recreationally. I have lost SO much cardio endurance, and then nagging aches and pains I have mean I need to spend a lot more time getting re-habituated to being on a bike for long stretches. But given the time I have, riding as much as I would like AND lifting/climbing as much as I would like is unlikely to be possible. This is where I need to let go of expectations. I can't go to the gym 3x a week, but twice is pretty good. And if only one of those days is super heavy, maybe that ok? Sure, I won't progress as fast as a "real lifter," but that's not the goal here. The goal: To be ready for my favorite outside activities. To carry my kids on my shoulders whenever they need it (I can do this now and it makes me so happy!). To get stronger with age as long as that is possible. To be a more durable human. The baseline: Current weight 149. Goal weight 140. Height 5'7" Bench 90 lbs for 3 reps Deadlift 205 for 3 reps Squat 150 for 3 reps OHP terrible. lol. 55? haven't tested maxes recently. 50 for 7 reps. Climbing: making myself try 5.11- in the gym. Goal: Climb in Eldo again this year. (always my nemesis). Have my crack climbing nice and strong for the desert in May at least. (more on this later). Riding: barely commuting once a week right now (17 mi/day) Goal: Put down the 50 mi loop nearby with no sweat. Get at least one ride up to the mountains this summer. For my 40th, MFH is giving me some time for a solo trip. The more expensive but more attainable of these is a crack climbing trip in Indian Creek in September. The alternative is a dirt 100+ miler. On my list for the next couple years is the fabled WRIAD (White Rim In A Day), but I can't get there from here this year. I am trying to accept that I really will do these things, but the schedule may not be well known right now. Other things I'd love to do in the next 10 years with kids: Backpack Grand Canyon Some bike camping trips at a leisurely pace on dirt roads Mountain bike NM, AZ, Bend Go back to Joshua Tree soon! Things I want to do on my own: A whole slew of long "light and fast" bikepack-ish routes And then MFH and I would like to climb another wall in Zion, childcare allowing. (Our last one, and my peak climbing year, was 2018) So on one hand, I feel like I have a long way to go before I can bop out the door feeling like myself. On the other hand, it sure looks like I have the motivation to find that stronger more durable version of myself in my 40s. (resolution: keep cooking the food I like) More to come.

I closed out this challenge by trying a new side press thing with a 22 lb kettlebell on not enough sleep on 12/23. My neck got MAD at me. I'm still, 1.5 weeks later, trying to wrestle it back into calmness. Over the break everyone except me got sick. First MFH got a 6-hr stomach bug, then the small one got it 4 days later, then this weekend the tiniest one got rsv. He's doing ok, but MFH and I have had no more than 3 hours of sleep in a block since Saturday because the tiny one needs all the cuddles and sitting in front of the shower to clear his nose. Weight 149 - lost 2 lbs somewhere in there. Work out from 12/23: Autobelay 5/10-, fell off 2nd move 5.110, pink 5.10 to auto belay, white 5.11- so close, 1/2 red 5.10+ but grip failed. Waited a few minutes and did it again and got a little higher Kettlebell press - tried something dumb, then bailed to normal press 22 ea 5x, 7x3 Hip mobility and hamstring stretches Split squat 45 5x 55 5x3 Deadlift 135 5x 185 5x2. At this point my neck made it known that continuing given the tweak at the beginning of the lifting work out was a stupid idea. I had wrist PT on 12/27 and got some help for my neck at the same time. 12/30 we had a family trip to the climbing gym and I got in 5 routes and 3 boulders in the cave - one of which I actually completed! Also, the tiny one is now stable enough to ride in the bike trailer. We've made little bolsters for him with a moving blanket so he can't slip sideways, and his head stability is really great. Going back in photos, this is when we started riding smooth terrain with our oldest. Just like oldest, the tiny one seems to like it! Bundled and in the fresh air, he's had some naps now riding to the gym and back, and riding around the neighborhood. When my neck calms down I'm looking forward to many more hours spent this way. Also, now that he's trailer-able we don't have to drive as much for little weekend things. Win for everyone. Eventually we'll get back to do the school run completely by bike ice/weather allowing. Today I'm wfh and trying to get a nap in.

I have a migraine. And I didn't sleep much last night. So. I have plans to go to the gym after lunch but we'll see. My biggest concern is that with the kids out of school/daycare next week and MFH working a couple of mornings, it's going to be hard for me to get time to workout or have outside time on my terms at all. This will result in stiffness and grouchiness for sure, so I'm trying to plan a little bit.

Today I didn't bike commute, because nerd brain wanted time to do things at work this morning AND I wanted to get back to the gym. So I drove, then went to the gym. I skipped climbing and instead started with Pilates and yoga. Pilates bridges and variations Dead bugs Sun salutations hip mobility work Front squat 45 5x 70 5x 75 5x, 7x3 - there's a different grip I want to use that is challenging my wrist mobility... Bench press 45 5x, 75 5x, 80 5x, 90 3x2 - I had a spotter for the last set, so that was nice. Need to work on that leg drive connection. Gorilla rows 53 lbs 7x2 62 lbs 7x Back squat 45 wiggle, 125 5x, 135 3x, 145 3x, 150 3x - I took a different approach here. (1) I put the heavy squats at the end of the workout when I was fully warmed up and (2) I wanted to push weight a little so I lowered reps. This felt pretty good. In getting my toes into the ground I need to refocus on keeping the weight centered, but it's getting better. I also did some negative pull-ups. One day I will do pull-ups again. If it looked like the weight jumped up a bit, it did. Lack of sleep, being sick, girl hormones, etc were making me feel pretty rough the last couple weeks. I was feeling better this week and figured I should push the weight up so that the next time I feel like crap it will at least be a heavier plateau. lol.

This is a completely valid place to leave things. I can usually tell the second I stand in the same room with someone about some things in a relationship. Sometimes other things take longer to come to light. It doesn't necessarily have any reflection on the quality of the person. Coming from being married for a number of years and having a lot of "chosen family" and some past relationships in my zip code - there are people in my life who I care very deeply about but would never pursue or continue a romantic relationship with. We all should be so lucky to have those people in our lives. This person may become a friend to you and that has importance in itself, and has value that I hope she sees. Our normal dating dialog doesn't leave a lot of room for the appreciation of friendship.

Here's a picture of the crib from 4.5 years ago when we first built it. It got moved shortly thereafter into our room for our first kid, then back into his room, then back to ours, and so forth. We're thinking this spring around the tiny one's first birthday, he'll move to his own room. This time the room isn't all set up and everything because it's also the guest room and my office. We'll start playing musical furniture next month and get the guest bed out of there and put some toys and baby things and the rocking chair in there for him to begin getting him used to the place when he's awake.

Little guy did it! He slept! In his own crib* with a small pat at 3:30 and 4:30. Then at 5:30 everyone started waking up anyway. I got a whole 6 hours of dead asleep sleep. I rode my bike to work today. It's the battlebike. And I had a laptop with me. But it was warm and it felt good to move. The bike is a weird one, so I'll post it later. Trying to figure out how to get a lifting session in tomorrow. *(we have a non-traditional crib. It's basically a low plywood box with the top edge level with our mattress and his crib mattress about 10" lower. After assuming our kids would climb out of the crib, this seemed like a safe option. Total height is 20" to the floor since our bed is a low hand-built platform situation. And it's easy to keep him next to our heads, give him pats, etc, until he moves to his room. Also, since MFH built it and I finished it, it happens to be really pretty oiled birch ply with light blue half moons on each side. Big tall cribs didn't make sense for us.)

Last night I slept from 9-ish to 11:21 and then 11:21 to 1-ish. Then I gloriously slept to 5:27. The night before was something like 9-11, 11-2, 2-3:45, 4-6. Or something. The 2 nights before that were similar. Our first kid surprised us with more nights of sleeping through. This one not so much. We had 4-5 days of complete sleep about a week and a half ago. Fingers crossed we'll drift back that way.

Well it's Monday and the scale. Has. Not. Moved. Still clocking in at 151. TBH if I had ANY sleep this might go better.

Well this morning did not go as planned. At 9:08, just at the beginning of my lifting session, I got a text from a coworker that I was missing a meeting. There was a very long drawn out word typed into my message to him (not at him, mind you) that I will not repeat here. I scooted through putting my weights away and changing clothes and took the Zoom meeting in my truck. It was fiiiiiiiiine. The 1/2 a workout was as follows: Auto-belay 5.10-, 5.9, white 5.11- got 2/3 and then 3/4 of the way up on 2 attempts. Yellow 5.10+ 2/3 way and then 1/2 way, weird purple 5.10 2/3 way and the 1/2 way, 5.9 to cool down. I've decided to start pushing grades again even though I said I was going to focus less on climbing. If I'm there to climb, I will push. Also, the gym was dead so there was no competition for the auto-belays and it was easy to try a route twice. Yoga Front squat 45 5x Got the text from my coworker that I was not where I was supposed to be. So there's that then. I can either (1) finish the workout by lifting tomorrow or (2) bike commute tomorrow and lift Wednesday. We have been given a half a day off Friday, so whatever workout I do Friday I should have time to be pretty relaxed about. Sleep - after sleeping in 2 hr stretches Friday and Saturday night, I got a whole 4 hours from 1-ish to 5:27 this morning. Weight still holding steady at 151. Honestly given the lack of sleep I don't know how to lose weight right now. I'm getting none of the recovery I should be getting, so it's not surprising my body is holding onto some squish. Also I AM getting stronger and my waist IS becoming more of a waist, so that's all right then. Astute observers will note I never set up points or wrote up my quest for this challenge. Hanging on by shoestring and bubblegum here guys!

you’re welcome

Thursday and Friday seem to have done a number on me. The lack of sleep isn’t helping. Thursday I met with MFH at the gym in town for a 45 min or so bouldering session. We did a lot of easy problems but most were really overhung. Learning how to keep my feet on is a big core retraining challenge post kid. I remember this from last time and I thought it was going better this time. Friday I went to my home gym (they’re part of the same chain) to climb and lift. I was short on time because of work and Christmas things so: Bouldering in the cave to warm up Split squat 45 7x2 50 7x OHP 45 7x2 50 7x Pilates Back squat 120 5x2 Hips feel tired at bottom of squat probably from footwork on the cave problems. Second set didn’t feel better than first set. Not going heavier ☹️ Considering cutting this workout short because of that…. so I did cut the workout short. Slept terribly last night. Took a very large dose of ibuprofen at lunch to combat hip and scar pain. Tomorrow is climbing club and Christmas shopping with the small. Hopefully on more sleep.

I was thinking of bike commuting today. Then I realized I (1) had no sleep, (2) had stuff to do at 8 am at work and (3) it's gray and wet out. Item (2) is tricky. I used to get to work at 7 am. Now the tiny one still needs more attention in the morning and the small one REALLY needs 5-10 minutes to hang out on the couch with me. So right now all of us leave the house at the same time, but MFH does drop off. I can get to work at 8 pretty easily this way if I drive. The bike is still a work in oh-man-I'm-out-of-shape progress.

This is hilarious, but I'm guessing a little optimistic for me. I'm drifting back to my IF/two meals a day on weekdays ways. (Family breakfast on the weekend is special). Which is to say that I feel better skipping breakfast AND it gives me more time to snuggle with kids and pack for the day. So at 11 am I'd done my workout (climbing and weight lifting) and had coffee, water, and 1/2 a banana that my kid didn't eat. Also my sleep deteriorated again the past 4 days (teething baby), so losing weight is going to be HARD when I'm clocking less than 4 hours of continuous sleep.

I kept meaning to post and didn't get around to having time on the laptop. (I hate posting from my phone. Something about tendonitis in my right hand.) Wednesday last week I rode to and from work. 17 miles. I felt SO slow going home, and my right trap hurt - probably because my right hand is messed up. Also I have two commuting packs: a messenger bag and a big backpack. I was wearing the backpack but only lightly loaded and it just sits funny when its not full. After a few nights of sleep, the tiny one began teething and having a really hard time again so I got a little sleep last night, but the last 4-5 nights have been rough. Accordingly, while I showed up at the gym Friday, the lifts were weak and didn't feel great. Friday: Auto-belay 5.10-, 5.9, 5.10 left of autobelay, skpping last 2 moves, 1/3 red 5.10+, 5.9, 5.10 purple facing boulder wall is weird, got 2/3 way up. Split squats barbell only 45 5x3 Kettlebell press 22 7x3 (fighting the OHP plateau with more reps and switching it up.) Back squat 115 5x2 135 5x Suitcase deadlift and gorilla row with a twist 5x each for each side 70 lbs. This kettlebell is fatter than the one I have at home and the suitcase deadlift made me fear for my toes Regular deadlift 135 5x 185 5x This weekend was just a bunch of running around. Took the older small one to climbing club for the first time. I hope its something he and I can do together to help him feel like I'm not ignoring him in the haze of caring for a baby. (we also read every night and watch cartoons in the morning for a few minutes.) Today: Met an older gentleman at the gym who was new to climbing and climbs with his daughter mostly. It was nice to have a belay partner. I climbed a mix of routes from 5.9-5.10+ (that I flailed on a bit). It's always a nice break from the autobelay. Front squat 45 5x 65 7x 70 7x 75 7x Back squat 120 5x 130 5x2 Bench 75 5x 80 7x, 5x Pilates bridges, sun salutations, dead bugs, leg lifts for core Inverted ring rows 5x3