So many changes!  I know you must have so much to do with new job and the move.  Good luck with the transition!

Slept for an hour, woke up for no reason, decided to see if it was lot too late to cancel Monday's appointment online or if I'd have to call. Nope, can do it online. Okay, goodbye to all my appointments because panic. Now I'm relieved and I also kinda hate myself. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Arrrrrrrrrrrgh. I want to quit PT. Partly because she called me on Thursday (slept through it) and was like "hey so you've cancelled a bunch of your appointments lately... just checking in to see if you still want to do this. If not that's fine just call the front desk and they'll cancel it all for you." And because I am hypersensitive to feeling like I'm disappointed people and to being called out and a half dozen other things I'm just like sitting here wallowing in... not shame exactly but I definitely feel like not only do I now have to go to all of the appointments for fucking sure, but I have to be like the model patient and do everything perfectly and just gremlin shit. And I'm also reading into it like oh she def wants me to just cancel it all too. Maybe maybe not on that one.     but I'm also kind of genuinely questioning whether this is just not the right time to be doing this. On one hand yes, it's a great time because I don't have a job or anything else to have to schedule around. On the other hand, this was a pretty sudden jump into leaving my house and dealing with people on a regular basis, which has not been a thing in the past few years. One could argue that this makes it the perfect time because like, exposure therapy or whatever and hey it's getting me out of my house blah blah but ugh no. And now I feel dumb that going to PT once a week is too scary to stick with.    idk. I may or may not be going back to the ENT ER today (Sunday) because my nose has mostly cleared up but isn't 100% better and I don't want to leave a not-dead-yet infection to recover and wreak more havoc. Which also feels stupid but at this point that's just my life I guess.    this was not supposed to be how this post was going. But istg now that I'm overthinking the PT issue it's getting scarier and scarier and I straight up might have to quit just so I stop stressing out about it.    why is my phone inserting line breaks in the middle of sentences? This happens all the time but I have no idea why.    Anyway. If I do go to the ER I will ask them if I should cancel PT (grasping at straws here). And even though it is actually an emergency room it's kinda more like a glorified urgent care. They do have an ambulance entrance and all that but the main hospital is next door so that's really where the emergency cases wind up. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  I really don't want to go back again but they have the specialized tools that an urgent care or even my doctors office wouldn't so it's ER or wait forever for an appointment with an ENT somewhere. Meh. Mehhhhhh I say.    anxiety is fucking stupid. Just in case anyone was unaware. 

Morning all. 6am here. Been up since 5.    Last night, strange one. Football was good. Had a couple of non alcohol beers. Ate some pizza.    But i felt a bit off, and also a little off with Roxy.....       I just feel a bit deflated.    Im up mega early. I am wondering if i may make a flask of tea and go sit and bird watch somewhere close by. Its quiet due to early morn. But the sun is coming out x

Ok, update time.   Let's see, it's been a bit.  So far, new job has been mostly training and looking at random documents to get familiar with the part I'm going to be working on.  I still don't have a super solid idea of what exactly I'm going to be doing, but everyone on the team seems nice.  And the new manager seems like a decent human, which is a huge upgrade.   I have pretty much given up on my food goal.  There's too much that needs to get done, and too much crazy that's going to be happening for the next 2-3 months for me to worry too much about food beyond making sure we're all eating.  I'm not, like, going to just eat junk food, but I'm not going to stress it.    I had game last weekend, that turns out was my last game with the travel team, as well as my current league.  We had several people drop out at the last minute due to injuries and the lines got reshuffled.  So I showed up to the venue and got told they had me as a jammer for this game! 😮😬  That's definitely something I've had as a goal for myself, but if you had asked me before the game if I wanted to be on the roster as a jammer, I would have said not yet.  But, since the captains said they needed me to do it, I said sure.  The fact that when we played this team last year we beat them by something like 200 points also definitely helped.  We won again, but not by quite as much as last year.  And, I did solidly ok as jammer!  For my first time actually being a jammer in a game instead of only for one or two jams, it went well.  I learned several things, and think I'll do even better next time (whenever that is).  I also got the most penalties in a game I've ever gotten - 6!  Oops.  If you get 7, you're done playing.  Part of me almost wanted to go back in and see if I could foul out, but then the game was over. 🤣  But, sadly, I came to the realization that I needed to step away from the league at the end of May if I wanted to have a chance of getting everything ready in time to move, so, I'll be taking a break from derby for a while.   Well, after this coming Tuesday, anyway.  Because, I am writing this from the Seattle area!  I came out for a week and a half to meet the new team and get a bit of a jump on learning what I'm going to be doing (though, aside from meeting people, things haven't been much different from the first week at home), and also have a bit of time to start scouting out places to live.  And, it turns out, one of the leagues out here is having an open scrimmage on Tuesday, so I'm going to do that.  Which, honestly, it's probably good I'm taking a break from playing derby, because my skates are dying.  The padding is breaking down in one of them and it's stabbing my ankle.  I have to tape padding to my ankle to skate more than 5 minutes without getting a giant bruise.  So new skate boots are in my future, but they're expensive.  I am still coaching the juniors through regionals, which are near the end of June, so I'm still going to be skating for a bit, but nowhere near as much as I was.   I have kept up with exercising every day, and hopefully with the reduction in derby I can be a bit more consistent with lifting and come back even stronger when the move is finished.   I did manage to drive around a bunch today and look at places.  So I've got a good list of apartments to check out for real when we do our home-finding trip.  And I've also been using my work days to test out potential commutes.   I think, given all the crazy that my life is in the process of becoming, there's a good chance I'm only going to post one more update here and likely will sit out the next challenge.  But, I will for sure be back!

Apparently I never posted what I wrote midweek about my friend’s birthday hike! It truly was a balm for the soul! I didn’t realize how much I needed that time in nature until I was out in the forest. We hiked down to the ocean and saw wildflowers, sea stars, moon snails, and sea lions. The weather was not the best - drizzly and a bit windy down by the water, but the company was delightful. Best rainy picnic I can recall!   On the drive out, I was sharing the small semi-rural roads with the cycling leg of an IronMan half. Mr. Radost and I drove past the runners in the morning and I was looking it up. The write up was a bit funny for a local, not just the “majestic peaks and rugged shores” of this “hidden gem” (just outside the provincial capital) but the “pristine swim” in the famously goose-poop filled local lake, lol. The 10k loop around the lake is pretty and easy - I like to go there when I need a boost, it’s delightfully flat - but I wouldn’t want to do it twice in a row. But the athletes are super inspiring! There’s a hill on the bike route, I’ve ridden up it…or rather I rode halfway up it and walked the rest of the way. 😅    D&D went well despite me shirking my DM duties. I’m still looking for a way to tie this “dungeon” to some stuff I have planned down the line, but it’s playing out pretty cool and my players have had some fun creative moments in it, which is always a highlight for me.    Hike photos!    

Didn't make it into the park. I think there was some sort of race thing happening. Decided to find the little lake thing that I knew was somewhere near my work and walked around that. Nice, but if I want to do it again,  I should probably invest in bug spray.    Did all the cooking and portioned the two meals. Shredded chicken into a bowl; need to portion it tomorrow.    Painted left and right nails. Two right nails got messed up, hope to redo them tomorrow    And painted 3 backgrounds. Didn't achieve what I wanted on one of them. I'll still use it, but I'm going to end up doing at least 1 more.  

Welcome back! Parkour sounds awesome 🙂 It sounds like you've found a great group!  Are there any goals on your Epic Journey of Awesome that you want to share? 

I made a thing! I think it belongs here.